I'm slipping into incel mentality

[Tyler Robinson]

5 minutes ago, Aleister Crowleyy said:

I'm not dating anything without a vagina. Women don't get as horny as men.

No guy shows he wants a girl just for sex. Be realistic. He is typing this out for us to understand. 

All you want is vagina as well. You just delude yourself and partake within self-deception. You're biology screams "I want vagina". Rationalize it however you want. The latter is just a mind-game. 

I'm sorry but all guys don't think like you. 

Your thinking lacks nuance. The only possible conclusion that can be drawn from your thought is - men don't have emotions at all.

This is so wrong. Men have emotions. They are just as emotional as women are although women usually score on the higher side with emotions. Men are taught to not act emotional but this does not mean they lack emotion. 

Men have the biological craving for sex, no denying that. Yet, they want to connect with a woman where they can be vulnerable with her and connect and bond with her persona. 

They are not simply having sex. They are also happy connecting with her. 

 

[Raptorsin7]

@Aleister Crowleyy Good luck bro, keep trying different things. I was suicidal a few years ago too so i can relate to the struggle, but life can turn around so quickly and there's so much potential for an awesome life.

[Raptorsin7]

@Aleister Crowleyy You got this. 

[Loba]

47 minutes ago, Aleister Crowleyy said:

Assuming you are female you should understand we Men are not emotional like women. Even writing that claim you're interpreting it through your emotional system. You can't see outside of it. You want this fantasy of feeling vulnerable to a guy/girl during sex connecting to his/ her ego while he/she dominates(while you/they/it are receptive). You don't value the actual sex itself the way Men do. The energy of the sex is what we crave. 

This is why I gave up on men.  They don't teach this stuff to women and men kind of play into it in order to get what they're looking for.  We live in our girlish fantasy bubbles for a long time before a few bad (or realistic depending on how you interpret it) experiences pop our bubbles.  Women want connection, domination, love, snuggles and all that, and men are just interested in the act of sex itself.  They're looking for relief and maybe to reinstate a sense of being a man, hard to know, as I am not one and still don't fully understand them.  And you can't change that, it's biology, it is what it is.

When I hear women say "I just want a good guy to do this for me, or be that for me" I don't think that they realize what they're getting themselves in to.  It's quite amazing to me that humans have managed to accomplish as much as we have, that we are able to raise families together and in general, live in a somewhat integrated society because if you really look into it, men and women are like two different species.

That said, even though I don't really like how a man's mentality works in relation to how they view women, I still feel bad for them when they're unable to get sex.  When I was a young woman, it wasn't hard at all, you just had to show up somewhere where men were and that's about it.  It seems like things have changed a lot in the past ten years as well, when I was in my 20's, it seemed like people were much more connected.  You could go out and meet friends with a group of other friends and get to know new guys that way.  Nowadays it looks like people are way more isolated.  Too bad there isn't an easier solution for incels.  I feel like a lot of them would not have been if they had been born just a few years earlier, you know?  Like a lot of my just average guy friends had no problems finding women, just through mutual social connections.

I look at a lot of the men here who complain about how hard they have it finding women, and "back in my day" most of them would have done just fine.  Hope you find a nice girl or two, don't give up, and don't off yourself over something as silly as not getting enough pussy.  You're still young, and there's more important things to off yourself over, like mental illness or social isolation or losing your health, but the lack of vagina is a totally fixable problem.

 

[Tyler Robinson]

1 hour ago, Aleister Crowleyy said:

Assuming you are female you should understand we Men are not emotional like women. Even writing that claim you're interpreting it through your emotional system. You can't see outside of it. You want this fantasy of feeling vulnerable to a guy/girl during sex connecting to his/ her ego while he/she dominates(while you/they/it are receptive). You don't value the actual sex itself the way Men do. The energy of the sex is what we crave. 

Yea I'm a female. I just don't get it. I don't need to view it from my lense. I have had plenty of guys who used to have emotional breakdowns and they didn't want the girl only for sleeping. They wanted her for more. It's not fantasy at all. Saying that men can't be emotional is reducing them to robots.

I don't know about you though. You make it look very mechanical but a lot of men are quite emotional. 

[Tyler Robinson]

5 hours ago, RMQualtrough said:

So true.

It's funny though, because I don't actually want a relationship etc, so when I actually let myself think "nothing matters", that means I don't even want to go out and talk to women at all. Because like, deep down, I don't really want that. And that scares me.

There have been only a few occasions where I was genuinely turned on by a girl, and not just going through motions to get validation at the end. And I would go out literally every weekend without fail. Many nights out, I don't find ANYONE attractive at all, which just makes me super frustrated.

Totally relatable. Often people feel turned off rather than being turned on. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Aleister Crowleyy dont come here with your shallow level of thinking attacking thats on level 1 while what i said is level 5 so it flew over your head so far that you cant even see it ?

[Tyler Robinson]

16 minutes ago, Aleister Crowleyy said:

I was being a jerk making a joke hahaha. I myself am very emotional.

When a man is not in a relationship predominantly he has this urge to move away from the hand toward something more real. It just comes off as sounding dull when I try to articulate the feeling inside me.

I would hope a guy wants a girl for more than sleeping with. Personally, I honestly get as big of a dopamine hit simply talking to girls than having sex with them. Still, the sex is a huge part of the interaction between both partners(men have a huge sex drive).

You know what. Guys who pretend to be lacking in emotions are more emotional than dudes who act Emo and crybaby. Most guys who do that, it's just an act because they are aware that being vulnerable can attract a woman more easily than being stoic. It's all a show. A mask. A facade. A charade. 

I could sense from your posts that you're an emotional person. Good for you. The world needs more emotion than logic. 

Cheers. 

[Tudo]

14 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

You know what. Guys who pretend to be lacking in emotions are more emotional than dudes who act Emo and crybaby. Most guys who do that, it's just an act because they are aware that being vulnerable can attract a woman more easily than being stoic. It's all a show. A mask. A facade. A charade. 

I could sense from your posts that you're an emotional person. Good for you. The world needs more emotion than logic. 

Cheers. 

It's attractive when the guy is  being vulnerable at the right moments. Emo and crybabies guys usually are attractive only on the internet lol  women don't even look at these kinds of men in real life.

The stoic guy that is emotional in the right moment, and can control his emotions if needed is the most attractive.

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Tudo said:

It's attractive when the guy is  being vulnerable at the right moments. Emo and crybabies guys usually are attractive only on the internet lol  women don't even look at these kinds of men in real life.

The stoic guy that is emotional in the right moment, and can control his emotions if needed is the most attractive.

Totally agree. Women crave for a balance. If a guy got too emotional with me, I might freak out, I'm not know how to handle him, or I might feel unprotected because the thing is that "wanting to be protected by a man" is drilled into our female biology through evolution (thanks to patriarchy), so when you see a man having a mental breakdown, it can sometimes inspire fear rather than sympathy, my first thought can be like - "does this guy need a rehab?," it can leave the girl completely clueless, plus with guys you can't say something like, "hey baby, just relax," because some guys don't like to be told what they should do in the moment, so I can reckon that expressing emotions for men can be incredibly harder, since they themselves are pretty confused on how to go about it without coming off looking like a Wuss, but at the same time a man who is too stoic and holding it in might be causing himself emotional harm because he is all keeping it pent up inside, this explain why some men have rage issues, they have unreleased emotions that they couldn't find a venting for and suddenly some day it all comes out like a huge outpouring of rage and anger. 

I feel like society impairs men by dictating attraction around emotional expression and that's cruel.

[Loba]

A lot of the dudes here are emotionally unhinged in various ways, I've noticed this.  If you make a statement that they don't like - such as not really having good experiences with men, and not wanting other women to have to go through the same struggles you went through - they will insult you, call you all sorts of names for your own bad experiences, only for you to later find out that they are actually nothing more than suicidal incels.  It kind of throws me for a loop when you express your opinions, only to have someone call you all sorts of names and then, as it turns out, they're just a super damaged person taking it out on you.  Just my two cents.

I genuinely feel bad for a lot of the men here, but at the same time a lot of you guys have really messed up views of the opposite sex, so much so that it kind of low key messes with my own views of men.  I don't know what to think of this new generation of twenty-something year olds, it's like you are both way more passive and aggressive at the same time, super dysregulated and it's like the genuine qualities of true masculinity are disappearing.  I don't know fully what to say, in some ways, society is screwing you over, but at the same time, I don't see this new generation as being good parents, having lasting relationships, or any of that.  

Then again, maybe guys were always like this, and I just didn't see it because I didn't have a forum to attend where men are so open about their struggles.  It reads to me like two different species trying to work together.  What I gather, from looking through many of these threads, is that a lot of men just don't see women as people, they view them as objects for gratification - and that coming to understand them, their needs, their wants, their dreams, seems to take a backseat.  Clearly I need to reassess my views, I wish I had found this forum in my early twenties when I still had rose tinted glasses.

I don't think that men and women can genuinely get along for longer than what is necessary to reproduce, and I think the gap between the two is only going to get more severe.  We're going to see way more men in the upcoming generations not knowing how to talk to women, how to interact with them and losing out on what they are looking for - sex, and women will be stuck with weak men who lack masculinity, who don't know how to interact with them and they won't be able to love and respect them.

I think I may take my leave from this section of the forum for good, because I don't like the idea of coming off as bitter and miserable, it doesn't sit right with me, but at the same time, I see the trend in how the world is turning out and it's hard not to feel that way - I don't want this forum to convert me into someone who irredeemably could never trust a male again, but upon further inspection, the collective psychology of this place is kind of damaging - if there was an equal amount of feminine energy here, it might be different.

[Loba]

4 minutes ago, JoeVolcano said:

That's just a phase. Perhaps a necessary phase.

Many people won't understand it, but that doesn't mean you're wrong

It could be, I hope so.  The more I write the more I realize that I am more bitter than I thought I was.  I thought I was over a lot of this stuff as I'd done quite a lot of work on myself in relation to this over the years, but, for whatever reason it has been coming up the past few weeks.  I need to look into it, because bitter and angry is not my cup of tea and I don't see that kind of mentality being sustainable.  It's possible that I became an incel in my own right, took on a victimizing mentality and let it control my inner narrative.  Gross.  I just don't want to end up being someone with really strong opinions that don't do them any good, that solidify and turn me into an ogre or something like that - I feel like if I just avoid this part of this forum, and let people do and say what they want, that it won't get to me.  People are going to do what they want, think how they want, feel how they want, why is it any skin off my nose at the end of the day?

Thanks for the response, hope you have a good rest of your day.

[Jacob Morres]

Imagine not having any water and someone demonizes you for being upset for caring so much about water.

Why u care so much about dat water man?? There's so much else to life than water! ! That's such a meaningless existence you live! 

Sex is a primal need on Maslow hierarchy of need, the base pillar actually 

Really easy to say all that shit when you're abundant in it 

Use some listening skills and ull see where OP Is coming from 

Some yall on this forum too logical. Comes with the territory I guess 

@Tyler Robinson

Edited August 14, 2022 by Jacob Morres

[Bando]

21 hours ago, Kwashiorkor said:

White women are attracted to thugs, bad-boys and nig**** (black men). White women must be forcibly prevented from fraternizing with Afro-Caribbean and Jamaican males. This can only be achieved by revoking their sexual and social freedoms.

Mods you guys allow crap like this to be posted?

[NoSelfSelf]

@Bando @Something Funny i just gave him warning points 5 min ago if he does it again ill ban him(told him too)

[something_else]

4 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Bando @Something Funny i just gave him warning points 5 min ago if he does it again ill ban him(told him too)

Assuming you're talking about @Kwashiorkor? Just ban him. What he said is like so fucking dumb you can tell nothing valuable is ever going to come from him here ever

[NoSelfSelf]

@something_else i realize that and i need to give users time to reflect and maybe they will change their attitude and appreciete it but let me do my job in my way ?

[Loba]

19 minutes ago, Aleister Crowleyy said:

Think twice before calling yourself an incel. Join incel communities on reddit and see just how toxic that shit is. When we write we type out the thought that arises. Very little filtering is present when we text. This is why you as well as I may come across as being "assholes, jerks, cocks, vaginas, dicks/penis', lacking in empathy, having no emotions, etc".

Think about it. All you have to do is socialize and seek understanding. I realized today Fear/anxiety/hate/Ignorance are synonymous in nature! Today I understand why women are the way that they are. The reason I get no vagina is because I don't lead and also take the time to study Todd V's incredibly articulate advice on this stuff.

I'm not sure what I am, I'm trying to figure it out.  I don't think I want a relationship, but the thought of one crosses my mind pretty frequently and for whatever reason, I find myself getting triggered at some of the topics on here - and question if I am too old at this point to have one, if maybe it isn't the desire for one in the moment, but the realization that I can't have one even if I wanted one later down the road, if that's what's causing this bitterness.  I'm still not sure if that's what is making me bitter, either.  I think after a few weeks I'll be able to let it go and this terminology "incel", stuff like that, it won't bother me much.  I just hit a snag in my development because I looked at some old friends and they were doing well in life and I got to see what I was missing out on, and while I am very happy for them, it was kind of a slap in the face that I didn't expect, and so I'm left just trying to understand how I was so blindsided by these negative emotions that I honestly had no idea that I had to the extent that I did.  Basically, I just want to feel content no matter where I am at in life and to not have what other people are doing affect me at all, because it doesn't matter.  They are them, and I am me.  I don't want to end up being middle aged and snappy and resentful, I want to accept whatever comes my way, even if it wasn't what I expected, I want to be okay with it and to allow other people to have their moments and to shine without feeling like I am losing out.  I want to be mutually happy for other people's happiness, and also come to terms with my own life, but to see the gifts that I have been offered as well that I might be blinding myself to by having the wrong mentality.

As a woman, I can tell you, it's true, we have an easier time when a man leads - it is much appreciated when they do, because we are taught to generally be the ones to follow, if you don't lead it can create a situation where the woman doesn't quite know what to do.

I don't know if I feel hateful, per say, as hate doesn't often enter into my system, but resentment can sometimes come up.

I also agree with you that when writing things out online it can come across a bit more terse from all sides.  In the real world, I am a very sensitive, soft spoken person who doesn't cause a lot of mischief, who is quite well mannered and nice - but the stream-of-thoughts that writing can take can make me appear to be more bold, more aggressive and less empathetic than I actually am.  Sometimes a computer screen can really be a problem for sure, when communicating with people.

I've looked into those communities before but they don't interest me because they are people who are bitter and unhappy and want to stay that way, and I recognize bitterness as a soul disease that spreads and so I don't want to be infected with it or to infect others with it.  People that get too deep into the incel rabbit hole become very depressive, they don't do a lot of self reflection and I just don't relate to them, other than the possibility of no longer being a viable partner for someone - the main difference is that I don't plan on forever feeling "woe is me" about it - I plan to take action and to grow emotionally.  

Thanks for writing me, I hope you have a good day dude!

[BlessedLion]

On 8/13/2022 at 0:01 PM, Loba said:

A lot of the dudes here are emotionally unhinged in various ways, I've noticed this.  If you make a statement that they don't like - such as not really having good experiences with men, and not wanting other women to have to go through the same struggles you went through - they will insult you, call you all sorts of names for your own bad experiences, only for you to later find out that they are actually nothing more than suicidal incels.  It kind of throws me for a loop when you express your opinions, only to have someone call you all sorts of names and then, as it turns out, they're just a super damaged person taking it out on you.  Just my two cents.

I genuinely feel bad for a lot of the men here, but at the same time a lot of you guys have really messed up views of the opposite sex, so much so that it kind of low key messes with my own views of men.  I don't know what to think of this new generation of twenty-something year olds, it's like you are both way more passive and aggressive at the same time, super dysregulated and it's like the genuine qualities of true masculinity are disappearing.  I don't know fully what to say, in some ways, society is screwing you over, but at the same time, I don't see this new generation as being good parents, having lasting relationships, or any of that.  

Then again, maybe guys were always like this, and I just didn't see it because I didn't have a forum to attend where men are so open about their struggles.  It reads to me like two different species trying to work together.  What I gather, from looking through many of these threads, is that a lot of men just don't see women as people, they view them as objects for gratification - and that coming to understand them, their needs, their wants, their dreams, seems to take a backseat.  Clearly I need to reassess my views, I wish I had found this forum in my early twenties when I still had rose tinted glasses.

I don't think that men and women can genuinely get along for longer than what is necessary to reproduce, and I think the gap between the two is only going to get more severe.  We're going to see way more men in the upcoming generations not knowing how to talk to women, how to interact with them and losing out on what they are looking for - sex, and women will be stuck with weak men who lack masculinity, who don't know how to interact with them and they won't be able to love and respect them.

I think I may take my leave from this section of the forum for good, because I don't like the idea of coming off as bitter and miserable, it doesn't sit right with me, but at the same time, I see the trend in how the world is turning out and it's hard not to feel that way - I don't want this forum to convert me into someone who irredeemably could never trust a male again, but upon further inspection, the collective psychology of this place is kind of damaging - if there was an equal amount of feminine energy here, it might be different.

@Loba I wouldn’t use this forum as a place to gauge what men are like today. It’s kinda a cesspool where people who don’t have success with women take out their angst about and talk about how close they are to suicide. It’s a form of therapy. 
so of course these men are not going to be super respectful and masculine to the women here. This shouldn’t surprise you at all. 
 

while it’s true that men are pro skirt interested in sex I think what is understated is that men also value the emotional connection, the love and approval we get, companionship, the laughter and feeling like a man. If not ALL guys would just have sex with prostitutes, watch porn, or fuck sex dolls. 
 

there are plenty of men who improve themselves as humans and study sexuality, relationships and how to respectfully treat a women. Unfortunately there just a lot of messiness on both sides throughout this proccess. The guys here though, the incels, they are pretty bitter about never having success with women so when they sound like jerks it shouldn’t be a shock 

[Raze]

8 hours ago, Loba said:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0S93-iwxGmI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tAVhKfcs6A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBtbEpZX7iM