I'm slipping into incel mentality

[Someone here]

I made a post about buying a sex doll and it get locked so I deleted it . So I have some explaining to do ..and I hope you guys can understand, not judge me and try to offer me some help. 

I don't know what to say, honestly.  I am fit and healthy, I consider myself good looking .I take care of myself, I have hobbies/interests, yet here I at 26 and it feels like every woman I ever meet in isn't interested in me in any shape or form.

However, my friends are all off getting married, getting engaged and so on, I feel like I'm really missing out on such a huge part of life that I just never got the chance to engage with. The fact that I every time I *put myself out there*, I end up feeling like utter shit because i suck at socializing with people. Especially strangers, especially girls, especially hot ones.  Every time i try to approach I get feeling of fear (I think that not approaching is the right descsion to make to stay in my comfort zone) I don't like to press myself on strangers.

i cant be anywhere near girls because anything i do is considered "creepy". every other guy is fine but im a "creep" just because the way i come off. ive never harassed anyone i just exist and that a problem. everyone subconsciously wants me to hang myself in the woods and not exist. I'm beginning to get paranoid about it .

To put it shortly,  bluntly and brutally honest..I just want pussy ..you feel me ? I want have hot sex with hot girls..how do I make that happen ? I have no fucking idea .these days I go out every weekend to malls and places where people hang out and I try to approach girls..and even guys (not for gay purposes, but just to make friends) but i always hesitate like a pussy ?. 

Any advice or clarity appreciated ?. 

Edited August 10, 2022 by Someone here

[NoSelfSelf]

"I just want pussy" thats the whole fing problem

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JDi1xWeAGA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ekm-fHK9WO8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJUhShVcfms

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMsTke0Fo5g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOae2s8JOUE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TzI2H3pNaU&list=PL87WZroPPEPtwaJM-wpKywLtEvHThDzrd

https://davidtianphd.com/masterclass-content/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnhWiq3E7eI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPCU03Dp8Zw

 

Edited August 10, 2022 by Raze

[Tyler Robinson]

You got to stop thinking that life revolves around women. That's your biggest problem. 

Invest in yourself. Take up some hobby that motivates you. 

Bring meaning to your life. Stop playing with your life. 

Try to lead a meaningful path. You're living in a shallow world of relationships and giving it way too much credit and importance. 

Your behavior could be the result of too much social media influence. Cut it down. Maybe you're busy comparing yourself to others. 

Life is meaningful with or without relationships. Understand this. 

You're desperate for female validation. Notice this drama in your life is playing out because of your excessive attachment to the idea of a woman or a perfect relationship. 

Remove this attachment and you'll notice a huge difference in perception. Everything will change. 

Say to yourself - "nothing matters." 

Make those words a reality. 

 

[Nilsi]

If you're coming from this mindset of scarcity you will naturally turn girls off. I don't want to infer too much, but from having read some of your other post's, it seems like there is a deeper issue here, of being confused and not taking any action to create some positive momentum for yourself. You have to actually go out there and expose yourself to more experiences and feedback, be that in regards to your life purpose, your dating life or whatever. You're basically in a state of learned helplessness right now and just sitting here all day with your "woe me" attitude won't get you anywhere. Look for the small wins. Fix your diet, hit the gym, have a non-awkward conversation with a girl, read a book, do something creative... whatever it is for you - that's how you build confidence and the more confident you become the more will these things go your way, and this will create a virtuous cycle; but you have to start with making yourself uncomfortable, there's no way around that.

[Someone here]

45 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

"I just want pussy" thats the whole fing problem

Why is it a problem?  I'm being brutally honest and clear about what i want . And to be honest I just want some sex .I don't care about long-lasting relationships. 

[Someone here]

43 minutes ago, Raze said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JDi1xWeAGA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ekm-fHK9WO8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJUhShVcfms

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMsTke0Fo5g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOae2s8JOUE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TzI2H3pNaU&list=PL87WZroPPEPtwaJM-wpKywLtEvHThDzrd

https://davidtianphd.com/masterclass-content/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnhWiq3E7eI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPCU03Dp8Zw

 

Hey mate..what am k supposed to do with all these links?  At least try embedding them ?

I will try to take a look them .but better next time to post something from your original thoughts and opinions instead of linking videos. 

[Someone here]

37 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

You got to stop thinking that life revolves around women. That's your biggest problem. 

Invest in yourself. Take up some hobby that motivates you. 

Bring meaning to your life. Stop playing with your life. 

Try to lead a meaningful path. You're living in a shallow world of relationships and giving it way too much credit and importance. 

Your behavior could be the result of too much social media influence. Cut it down. Maybe you're busy comparing yourself to others. 

Life is meaningful with or without relationships. Understand this. 

You're desperate for female validation. Notice this drama in your life is playing out because of your excessive attachment to the idea of a woman or a perfect relationship. 

Remove this attachment and you'll notice a huge difference in perception. Everything will change. 

Say to yourself - "nothing matters." 

Make those words a reality. 

 

Im not in a place in my development where relationships don't matter .honestly ,to me it matters a ton. And it affects my self-esteem . Even my mood and my drive to get out of bed at the morning.  So I believe that success in the dating aspect of my life influences my overall happiness.  So I wanna learn how to get better at it .

[Tyler Robinson]

1 minute ago, Someone here said:

Why is it a problem?  I'm being brutally honest and clear about what i want . And to be honest I just want some sex .I don't care about long-lasting relationships. 

Why is sex so important to you? Why is it such a big deal? 

It shouldn't really be unless you make it to be. 

I agree with the user above. Not to discourage you or offend, but you seem to be stuck in some sort of "I need this or else my life is not complete" kinda mentality.

If you said you needed mental peace or a strong purpose would have been a different thing. 

Out of all the things in the world you settled for sex as the most important pillar of your life, seems odd and out of place. 

Maybe you need emotional growth to understand the futility of pursuing sex. It's all a blunder anyway.

You have insecurities to work on, insecurities that your mind manufactured to keep you stuck. 

 

[Someone here]

7 minutes ago, Nilsi said:

If you're coming from this mindset of scarcity you will naturally turn girls off. I don't want to infer too much, but from having read some of your other post's, it seems like there is a deeper issue here, of being confused and not taking any action to create some positive momentum for yourself. You have to actually go out there and expose yourself to more experiences and feedback, be that in regards to your life purpose, your dating life or whatever. You're basically in a state of learned helplessness right now and just sitting here all day with your "woe me" attitude won't get you anywhere. Look for the small wins. Fix your diet, hit the gym, have a non-awkward conversation with a girl, read a book, do something creative... whatever it is for you - that's how you build confidence and the more confident you become the more will these things go your way, and this will create a virtuous cycle; but you have to start with making yourself uncomfortable, there's no way around that.

I agree .I have to take action .I try but I fail .so I try again .but I fail again. So is it just a matter of trying til ya get lucky some random time? 

Also ,I get too lost in theory instead of action.

How do I take action and start improving my life, instead of just planning?

I always try and make the perfect plan (not that it’s a bad thing) instead of just taking action. I know I should take action but I never do.

How do I take action instead of constantly planning?

 

[Tyler Robinson]

7 minutes ago, Someone here said:

don't care about long-lasting relationships. 

This mentality will get you in trouble. Long lasting relationships are actually worth a lot more than just sex.

You'll never learn intimacy. You really want that? 

Sex without intimacy is like food without nutrition. 

You're asking for a meaningless lifestyle. 

[Tyler Robinson]

2 minutes ago, Someone here said:

How do I take action and start improving my life, instead of just planning?

Take a dream board and write down specific goals. Stick to one goal per week with 10% effort dedicated to this goal every week minimum. 

[Someone here]

4 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Why is sex so important to you? Why is it such a big deal? 

It shouldn't really be unless you make it to be. 

I agree with the user above. Not to discourage you or offend, but you seem to be stuck in some sort of "I need this or else my life is not complete" kinda mentality.

If you said you needed mental peace or a strong purpose would have been a different thing. 

Out of all the things in the world you settled for sex as the most important pillar of your life, seems odd and out of place. 

Maybe you need emotional growth to understand the futility of pursuing sex. It's all a blunder anyway.

You have insecurities to work on, insecurities that your mind manufactured to keep you stuck. 

 

Well..because by far ..it is the best feeling in the world. Can you think of a healthy example of something that feels as near good ? I said "healthy " because you could argue that cocaine feels better .

I cling to the personal idea that sex is NOT something to share with a special someone as an expression of love. I d feel comfortable with the idea of having sex for pleasure. 

But still...Within a committed relationship, sex is one of the key elements that help to foster the level of intimacy you will never get anywhere else, with anyone else. It is a wonderful beautiful thing.

Outside of a committed relationship, sex is a helluva lot of fun and feels *really* good.

 

[Federico del pueblo]

@Someone here Bro... there's no shortcut for you.

You have to do what every other dude needs to do to get good with women.

And maybe you have to move to another country too, or another region at least.

Find guys to go out with and do approaches. Socialize with lots of people. Do other interesting things to have something to do and talk about and maybe you'll meet people there.

Take dancing classes. Work out. Learn a language.

Watch videos about attraction (probably the videos from @Raze are exactly what you need to watch and APPLY).

Nobody here can solve your logistical problem for you.

And don't you dare watching any incel/black pill content. If you do that I'll jump out of your screen and slap you in the face, ok? ?

Get to work.

[something_else]

12 minutes ago, Tyler Robinson said:

This mentality will get you in trouble. Long lasting relationships are actually worth a lot more than just sex.

You'll never learn intimacy. You really want that? 

Sex without intimacy is like food without nutrition. 

You're asking for a meaningless lifestyle. 

It's also healthy to explore your sexuality in a more casual way. It's good to experience variety in your relationships when you arey young so you learn what you really want. OP is perfectly right to go chasing fun, low-commitment sexual experiences if that is what he desires in his life right now. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that and he should not feel ashamed for chasing that.

Yea, at some point when you're older the healthy option is to look for something more serious and intimate, so on that I agree with you.

[something_else]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

I want have hot sex with hot girls..how do I make that happen ? I have no fucking idea .these days I go out every weekend to malls and places where people hang out and I try to approach girls

Malls are an awful place to go looking for more casual relationships. Especially, I imagine, in a conservative country like India (where you are from, if I remember correctly)

For what you want, you wanna be going out to parties and other nighttime places like bars and clubs. From some quick googling, India does have nightclubs. If you want casual relationships, nightclubs are the best place to go.

You don't need to feel creepy approaching people there because it's perfectly socially acceptable.

Edited August 10, 2022 by something_else

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, something_else said:

It's also healthy to explore your sexuality in a more casual way. It's good to experience variety in your relationships when you arey young so you learn what you really want. OP is perfectly right to go chasing fun, low-commitment sexual experiences if that is what he desires in his life right now. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that and he should not feel ashamed for chasing that.

Yea, at some point when you're older the healthy option is to look for something more serious and intimate, so on that I agree with you.

I don't think it has anything to do with age. Why should age matter anyway? Whatever stage you're at you want a fulfilling relationship? In fact it would be more advisable to look for casual stuff for older folks because they could be tired of relationship drama or not have much time for it. It's a dangerous idea to constantly pedal how casual sex is so goood, it makes people not appreciate the beauty of a full blown wholesome healthy relationship, whether you're young or old, you always want something worthy of your time and energy, and most importantly you don't want to lose interest in intimacy, that could be dangerous and lead to addiction to sex. It kinda becomes a loop. Hard to get out of once you're hooked on it. 

[Federico del pueblo]

1 hour ago, Tyler Robinson said:

You got to stop thinking that life revolves around women. That's your biggest problem. 

Look, I know that you're writing this with the best intentions.

But he's 26 now and hasn't had sex. Let that continue for 4 or 5 more years and he's suicidal.

He actually should take the pursuit of sex and relationships somewhat seriously or else he simply won't get laid.

Guys can't afford to not take this seriously, they must be proactive to get sex.

It's a very basic need. Surely sex won't fulfill him either but not having sex at all also doesn't fulfill him.

I agree that he needs other passions and interests too, but this sex issue won't just solve itself by itself.

That's what works for pretty girls. You just live your life and get sex without effort.

[Carl-Richard]

@Raze That's a lot of videos 

[Tyler Robinson]

Just now, Federico del pueblo said:

Look, I know that you're writing this with the best intentions.

But he's 26 now and hasn't had sex. Let that continue for 4 or 5 more years and he's suicidal.

He actually should take the pursuit of sex and relationships somewhat seriously or else he simply won't get laid.

Guys can't afford to not take this seriously, they must be proactive to get sex.

It's a very basic need. Surely sex won't fulfill him either but not having sex at all also doesn't fulfill him.

I agree that he needs other passions and interests too, but this sex issue won't just solve itself by itself.

That's what works for pretty girls. You just live your life and get sex without effort.

Seriously I don't believe in this. This is like perpetuating the same old tropes that got you roped in the first place. A mentality that is fed to men that their life is nothing without sex, this is so destructive and it seems like social conditioning. Of course everything is social conditioning, you simply cannot deny this. The brain learns to pick on whatever it is fed with. You feel dull without sex because society has ingrained into your mind a lower social value if you can't have a woman, it has damaged men, just like society wants women to believe that all of her worth is in her appearance. This is dangerous gender conditioning. Not too long ago, homosexuality was considered an illness. Give up these constructs and life will be much happier.