building a nice future

[Jai]

I'm starting a new journal to keep track of my daily progress. I'm really motivated to build a nice future. I think I'm about a year away from being in a really nice place professionally which is important to me. Day in and day out I try to have solid days of good habits and being productive and staying spiritually focused. Right now my life is pretty good... I'm living in Mexico City for 6 months and continuing with my job and a computer course. So I also want to appreciate my current situation while I'm building for the future. Lately since I've been here I've slacked a little bit on my discipline... I've kind of been in vacation mode a bit and haven't really embraced the high quality lifestyle I want. So I want to get back into it.

My main goal is to build a more financially stable future and save a lot. I'd really like to live a simple life and up my income so I can save a lot and put it away to retire one day. I think I'm like a year away from this. Right now I'm doing a trial run in Mexico to see if I want to work remote and post up here in the future. I'd really like to get in a situation where I can save 75% or more of my income... I did that a couple years back and it felt great. I sometimes regret I left that job to start over but that's what I did and now I have to just keep myself focused on what I'm trying to build now.

Overall I've been on a nice streak for over 2 years of a consistent spiritual practice and good habits and discipline. But I've also lost some of the motivation and drive I had toward the beginning of this streak. So I really want to get back to being more motivated and feeling more connected. I definitely think my overall life habits are a big part of this as is keeping a strong spiritual practice and trying to do service and have a good outward energy. Being a bit in 'vacation mode' has drained me... eating out a bit too much, not really exercising as much, not being in a space that really feels my own, sleeping in a bit... etc. So it's time to really get back to what works.

I think one thing I'll start doing is just listing out some of my good habits and bad habits for the day. Today was a particularly solid day... so I guess my first entry will look nice!

Good Habits Today

• Got up at 5:30 when alarm went off - keep this up, bad to hit snooze
• Lifted weights and took a long walk
• Got a bunch of studying and work done today - had good discipline, focus, urgency
• No porn - been no porn since March 19th which is good for me - my ideal is to keep my sex energy for the girl I'm seeing now
• No scroll - good here, this one is tough, easy to fall into bad phone habits
• Good diet - only ate fruits and raw veggies before 5pm - and no processed foods. I think this will be my new ideal, only eat heavy food after 5 so I can keep my concentration up and not get tired from eating too much. Plus no processed food or sugary foods.
• Managed rest time well to get off the computer to reenergize
• Solid morning pranayama and meditation/prayer session
• Cold shower - not really all that cold compared to winter water up north... but still faced the mild discomfort
• Doing a review now

Easy to do great on the first day lol. Key is to set a high standard and live up to it day in and day out. A bunch of these habits really make me feel better. I really like living clean. It's funny how I go into vacation mode and indulge and feel worse lol. So it's time to get back on track! I don't want to take days off. I really want to keep the higher power number 1 and keep my spiritual practice as the center. With that commitment I can then bring a lot of good things into my life and make improvements. So I don't want to be inconsistent with that and I'd like to really keep that meaningful and significant. Other big goal is staying no porn - I really like the discipline there and not falling short on my ideal. That's been pretty easy recently since I have been seeing a girl a bunch, but still that area I want to keep strong on. Beyond that it's just getting back to a motivated place to make all the improvements every day and build a nice life. I don't think it's that far away! And even right now things are pretty good! So I'll just be tracking my progress.

[Jai]

Aug 10

Thus far a solid day. Doing an early review since I'm going to hang out with the girl I'm dating and have some sex. Really enjoying consistent sex lately. Was pretty motivated today to get some work and studying done so I can enjoy more tonight. So really had a decent day and felt like I was on offense today again. I really want to make formal my commitment to good habits, a good spiritual life and also good motivation and work ethic by being accountable here in this journal. I think it will help. So today was solid and I want to keep it up. Going to go meet my lady friend on the other side of the city so it will be a little bit of a trek which can be fun. Going to eat out and then I'll stay at her place. Will enjoy some sex but will keep retention... lately we hook up once during the week and once on the weekend and I only release with her once a week. That is a good mix of some sex energy discipline but also enjoying it with her also and releasing and not getting too tightly wound from long retention streaks.

Good Habits Today

• Woke up when the alarm went off at 5:30, took a cold shower
• Solid pranayama and prayer/meditation session to start the day
• Stayed on task with my study schedule, felt good effort there. Also got a bit of my remote work in
• Diet is strong - only fruits and raw veggies before 5pm. Need to stay away from the processed food and sugar as I am
• Got a quick workout in also, would like to expand this but solid today lifting weights
• No porn - this is easier now that I'm seeing a girl
• No scroll - this one is good, but the most easy to slip up on. Just wasting time on the phone is habitual I really want to break this

So a solid day overall. Just putting a bunch of days like this back to back is the key. just keep it up and a year from now my life will be really sweet. I already have strong habits so my life will really get in order when the payout comes for all the effort.

[Jai]

Aug 11

A kind of an off day. Stayed over at my lady friend's apartment. So I was thrown a little off my normal schedule. It took over an hour to get back home today and I was a little tired. My habits dipped a bit. I definitely didn't get as much done as I would've liked. I think that the day after I stay at my girl's apartment it will always be kind of like an off day. So I guess I have to accept that to a certain extent. When I'm just on my own I can really dictate my schedule. Big thing is tomorrow to get back on a solid path. I'm looking Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning to have really solid days and productivity and then take sunday afternoon/evening off with Monday morning also off.

Good Habits

• Exercise in afternoon
• Did get at least a little work done
• Was going to buy junk food but didn't
• Got a good meditation session in a little later in the day

Bad Habits

• Was tired and off schedule so took a nap
• Didn't get a full day of work in
• Ate junk food at the girl's house
• Lower energy/vitality - not driven

So that's about it for today. Still some progress. Going to be ready for tomorrow. I really want to build this a day at a time and put in great effort to do it.

[Jai]

Aug 12

Pretty solid day today. Good effort all around. Definitely feel like I made good progress. I'm prepping to take a test tomorrow for a computer course. I feel pretty much ready. There is always a bit of doubt or fear but I've worked hard to prepare and I just got to take it. If i don't do well I can always retake it but I've done well up until now. So tomorrow I'll wake up early, review some, get some exercise in and then take it. It's important to me so I feel a little pressure but that's part of anything that is important where I want to do well.

Finishing this course is important and I think it will really help me make progress and do well with my career and work. So I just got to keep sticking with it. My work is going okay also... I'm just on a schedule of just doing what I can to contribute so it's somewhat predictable. Eventually I'm going to make a switch but until then I want to keep doing my best.

I had a nice morning mediation today and a shorter second session also. I'm living out of my hiking backpack in Mexico though so I don't have my meditation pillow or mat or my set up like before. So it feels a little less official and ceremonial. I like the formality of having a nice space for it. I can't wait until I can get really set up in life and have my own space for things like that. I think a year from now is when I'll be in a really nice place and established.

Good Habits

• Woke up when alarm went off, took a cool shower
• Morning meditation/prayer session
• Good effort with study and work
• Good diet habits
• Exercise and went for walks
• Was positive and stayed on "offense" all day
• Found a simple way to be helpful to others
• No scroll

That's about it. A pretty solid day. The idea is to have a bunch of these in a row - just as many solid days as possible and even on an off day move forward a little. That way in the future I'll be in a really nice place.

[Jai]

Aug 13

Decent day today. I took my coding test today. I was about as ready as I was going to be. I'm happy with my effort and I tried my best. I think I did okay. I definitely missed some things here and there but hopefully not too much. I'm a bit worried about losing a bunch of points but I guess I'll just have to see tomorrow. So all morning i did this and then in the afternoon I wanted to unwind some. I went for a long walk, ate lunch at a restaurant and then met up with some friends. Did this to be unwind some. Overall a decent day.

Good habits

• Woke up with alarm, cold shower
• Did some meditation/prayer
• Good work/study habits
• Exercise was okay
• Generally positive about things
• No porn
• Pretty good on no scrolling - I want to keep this up

Bad Habits

• Diet wasn't clean, ate some snacks

That's about it. Second half of the day was an off day where I just relaxed some and tried to have a bit of fun after my exam. Hoping to have a solid day tomorrow in the morning. I want to get some work done. Hanging out with a lady friend after so I need to get everything done early. When I hang out with her everything gets thrown off schedule. But it's good because it's mellowed me out recently having regular sex. That's a good element to have in life also so I just have to accept that I'm not going to be as productive when hanging out with her or the next day.

Edited August 14, 2022 by Jai

[Jai]

Aug 14

Checking in for yesterday. Decent day, I actually got a lot of work done for my job. Set myself up nice for this week. So that was the highlight and felt good. Habits were okay, but I spent a little more money on something than I needed to and should've planned better. So wasted like $25 I'd say. Not horrible but also not optimal. I'm out of the country so sometimes things like that come up. I'd much rather spend that money on dinner or fun but I have to have the attitude that I'll earn it back. And next time plan a little better so I don't have to buy something last minute and overpriced.

Other than that a decent day for habits. Not great but still pretty good. Missed my review last night because my lady friend stayed over. We're really good together sexually. It's really natural. It's a lot of fun. It throws off my habits some and I'm not as motivated or driven the next day but it's worth it. Having regular sex has mellowed me out some. I have a great outlet for that energy now and feel it reciprocated. I definitely think part of a high performance life is having a good sex life and having an outlet for that energy. I was single for a long time and that energy was just distracting at times and not well directed. Plus I'm no porn for almost 5 months. I want to keep that up. Having sex makes me feel real good which is way better than porn.

So that's yesterday's summary. Decent start to today. Got a bunch of work done.

[Jai]

Aug 15

A lower energy day. It's always like this after sex with my lady friend. I kind of need an entire day to recover. My study hours aren't quality, my energy and focus is lower and I just feel a bit off. It's worth it though I'd say since sex is good with her. Big thing is to get the most out of my good days and make as much progress as I can.

Good Habits

• Went to a recovery meeting
• Got a decent amount of work done
• Went for a really long walk
• Organized the apartment
• No porn

Bad Habits

• Took naps
• Diet wasn't good
• Scrolled on youtube
• Overall distracted and lower energy

That's about it really. Not the best day. But I did get some work done. I think these off days are good to just get work done and save my highest quality hours for studying. Tomorrow want to have a stronger day

[Jai]

Morning Journal Session

I want to do a quick morning journal session. Everything is going pretty well in Mexico overall. I'm stuck still kind of in vacation mode and I've been kind of weak on some habits. My diet hasn't been great and I've been eating out a lot. My exercise has improved but not as great as I'd like. And overall I'm not fully settled in to a routine. I guess some of this is expected since I'm a little out of my element and kind of living here but kind of temporary. Sometime I'll go live in another city here to check that out also. The point is to do a trial run and maybe do this permanently for next year.

I definitely realize how important having routine is for a high performance life. When I'm really disciplined and incorporate high quality activities in my life then I really excel. I'm still doing good here, but not as great as I was awhile back. So I want to recover a bit of the motivation I had previously. I've definitley been thrown off a little bit. But I also see how if I were to come here permanently I could get a more permanent set up in an apartment and have a nice life here. So it's definitely a good possibility.

I've had a nice start to today. I got up when my alarm went off and went for a run and did some really quick weightlifiting just to get moving. The place I'm staying at has a basic gym so I'm grateful for that.

Today I'm looking forward to doing this project I have for a computer course. I'm ready to get that out of the way. I'm getting closer to finishing this course. I think by this time next year I'll be working in a new role. That excites me. I've worked really hard for it and I can see it's not all that too far off. I can keep with the course and enjoy Mexico a bit for the next few months.

[Jai]

Aug 17

Did well on my assessment today. That felt good. I've made good progress. Now I have a really tough course coming up so it's time to really focus. I'd like to get my motivation up and my habits in good shape. I got a lot to do. Today was pretty much a day off from studying while I waited for my grade. So I did get some work done for my job which I'm in good shape with my work project. And then took a long walk and got outside. Met up with some friends from a recovery meeting. Ate out also which is a treat and something i'm doing a little too frequently but hey.

Habits weren't really that great. Realized I missed my morning spiritual practice since I had to get my assessment done by 7am. So I want to get on a better streak of solid days. But kind of tough since I'm in a bit of vacation mode for living in another country.

[Jai]

Aug 22

Not in the habit of updating everyday which should change. Over the weekend hung out with my lady friend which is good. Yesterday took a total day off from studying but got some work done though. Long day today though. Had problems at work I had to fix. That was tough. I got a lot of studying in though. I had a really strong performance today overall. My habits were solid.

Good Habits

• got my study hours in
• good diet
• good exercise
• good focus
• stayed positive and motivated
• no porn as always
• got a solid meditation in

Bad habits

• Slept passed alarm
• got agitated over a work situtation, never good

Overall a solid day and I moved forward

[Jai]

Aug 27

I'm in a bit of a slump. I've been in a somewhat vacation mode. I've been eating out a lot and not exercising as much. Been hanging out with my lady friend and been staying out a little later with her or sleeping in. Overall just in a bit of a slump.

I don't have the same drive with my spiritual life or same comittment that I had not too long back. I want to get back to that and have a really strong spiritual life.

So tomorrow I'm planning on getting up early and hopefully having a strong day. That's really it. I want to get back on track.

[Jai]

Aug 28

Really solid day today. Just what I needed. All my habits and actions fell in line. I got up at 5:30, exercised, cold shower, meditation, got right into studying and just had a bunch of solid study sessions of an hour. So I got a lot done.

I felt connected the entire day and on a good trajectory. Stayed positive. Going to hang out with my lady friend tonight which is good and bad. I mean I like the sex and company but it also throws me off and I usually make compromises on habits and diet with her, sleep in with her, etc. And my next day is usually thrown off. So I'm going to really try to have a solid day tomorrow.

Really happy all around today. I want to get back into a solid life with great habits. I'm getting really close to finishing the first part of my computer course. I'm not that far off. This time next year I'll be in a really good spot and be working in a role that I'm excited about.

So every day I want to give my best effort. Lately it's hit or miss and I'm in vacation mode some. So I want to get the discipline back.

So going to try to double it up tomorrow. Hopefully I can do this.

Moved forward today.

[Jai]

Aug 30

Better days yesterday and today. I've had decent productivity. I've had decent habits. Looking forward to a strong day tomorrow. I'm nearing the end of the first part of my computer course which feels good. I've put in a lot of effort and I feel good about this. I'm a little worn and not as motivated as before but I think finishing this first part will feel good and I can really set myself up well for the next part. I want to get to a highly motivated place so I can really focus on giving great effort.

Right now I'm in an in between phase... my discipline isn't nearly as strong as before. Some of my habits are kind of weak. I'm in vacation mode since I'm in Mexico. My diet and exercise aren't all that great. My spirtual practice is there, but not as strong as before. I'm just not fully settled in. So I mean I don't feel as strongly driven or commited. Things aren't bad, I'm just not operating at the highest level I can.

So I'd really like to keep my study hours up and clean up my habits a bit. And prep for the second part of this course.

So tomorrow a big thing is getting up when the alarm goes off to get a good start to the day. I can get some exercise in right away and really start the day strong. Then a solid mediation and prayer session. I want to take my best habits on the road. I've been in Mexico two months and I"m not really all that settled. I feel like I kind of live here and I kind of don't. So I'd like to get more established with my habits.

Eventually I just got to choose a place to live after this course and settle in some. So Mexico is a sort of trial run to see if this is what I want to do.

[Jai]

Morning Journal Session

Today I want to have a solid day of studying and I think I can definitely do that. Yesterday was pretty good so I want to repeat. I had trouble with wifi yesterday and that seems to be solved so that is one less barrier. I'm close to the end of the first part of my course which is a huge milestone. I can feel I'm kind of close to the end of it and I want to keep progress. Each day this should be a huge priority. Today I'm going to not work as much since last week I was working a lot.

With my studies I'm less than a year away from really finding a job that will pay well and put me on a nice trajectory. So it feels far off but it really isn't. That time will pass anyway. I want to make progress during that time to reach my goals. My main thing is to solve my biggest problem. My biggest problem is really having a solid income source that lets me live a great life and build a nice future. It's a huge problem to solve, and I'm really not all that far away from solving it. I'm definitely closer to reaching the goal than I am from the start. My job now gives me decent experience. My computer course will give me some pretty good skills to find a better position. So I really think it will be worth all of the work. I'm really excited about seeing this through and finding my next role. So I really just want to keep on track.

The only difficulty I come across is I'm not as motivated as I was last year or two years ago. Some of my discipline has weakened. Maybe I just need a bit of a break before going back to hardcore mode. So maybe I should savor some of this relaxing time in Mexico. The problem is there is a certain pleasure in being really disciplined and on track and making sacrifices and living really clean. It feels really good. Being indulgent makes me feel a little lazy and drowsy almost. One of the difficult things in Mexico is I'm not really settled and I'm out of my element so I haven't brought my best habits with me. It's not horrible habits here, but I'm not at my best. I kind of miss living a little cleaner. But again, maybe I need a break for a bit before getting back to being ultra motivated.

One nice thing is I've been hanging out iwth a girl here and our sex life is great. She really enjoys intimacy and we've been having a great time. That is something that has felt nice. It's mellowed me out some. I've enjoyed the company and the connection. So I'm hoping this makes me feel more energized overall and more connected. It definitely has done that.

What I'd really like is to pick and choose the indulgences. Like sleep in with the lady friend but get up early other days. I haven't had the same motivation to get out of bed ultra early like I've had in the past. Enjoy eating out some days but cook a lot of my meals too. Regardless I'm not sure what to think about my current habits situation. I mean I definitely needed a bit of a break and relax time but I think that has already happened. I'm kind of searching for the motivation I had awhile back. Being closer to the end of my computer course I want to feel really fired up.

[Jai]

Morning Journal Session

Just had a pretty nice meditation. I stayed at my lady friends apartment last night so not in the normal routine of things. Normally that throws me off a bit but I think I'll have a solid day today. I feel like i got a good start with this meditation. I got a lot of studying to do today so I'm going to give it my best effort even if I may be a little tired or otherwise off. I think I'm getting used to being out of my element a bit or I should just accept it some and enjoy it. So instead of ultra high discipline I can keep up decent work and decent habits and decent spiritual practice and relax a bit in other areas. Soon enough my trip here will be over and I can go back to the grind. As long as I make progress in my study course and keep my job going good I'm fine. Eventually I do my course full time and then is when I'll really have to be at my best.

Other than that it does feel good to be having regular sex with my lady friend. We definitely are a match in that area and it feels good to enjoy that. It does throw me off a little bit from my normal habits when I stay up late with her or visit her and stuff but it's worth it. Having sex regularly has mellowed me out some. It's made me relax and not be as tense so that is definitely good. So today I get a later start then normal and a lot of my routine is thrown off but that's okay. Just in general here my normal life is a bit thrown off. So really I think I can have some fun and just make good progress.

That's about it. Going to have a good study session now and get outside a bit after and just keep repeating study sessions for today. Later I might try to do another meditation also.

[Jai]

Sep 1

A mixed day overall. Decent meditation and study sessions. So decent productivity but not great. Also not nearly as motivated or driven as I have been in the past. This comes a bit from being in vacation mode and a little over indulgent. Also just being out of my element and not settled in. I've been in Mexico over 2 months and I don't really see me having an optimal set up and I just have to live with making a compromise here. I would like to get a bit more disciplined but I'm also just being a bit indulgent with eating out and things like that. These little areas of laziness or indulgence makes me feel a bit weak. I'm definitely not operating at my best level. And I'm not as motivated or driven as before. Maybe it's because I needed a break like this. So maybe I can just still get work done and enjoy life a bit and then grind a bit when I get back. It's just that I don't really enjoy the indulgence. I kind of enjoy living clean more and having greater discipline. There is definitely a type of pleasure and accomplishments that comes with good habits. The downside is being too tightly wound. So I need breaks once and awhile. It's just that this break has me feeling a bit low energy sometimes. Anyway. Tomorrow hoping to get a lot done.

[Jai]

Morning Journal Session

Going to journal a bit and then do a morning meditation. My meditation is still pretty decent so I should give myself credit for that. Although it's not as formal as it was previously. I'm also not chanting like I used to or doing meditation sessions during lunch, etc. Eventually I want to get back to that place. One of the problems is that I've basically been nomadic and fining affordable living situations while I'm doing my study course. So I haven't had my own space. Previously I had a meditation room which was a great thing to formalize my practice. Eventually I'll have that again. Lately I've also just dipped a bit in motivation and drive so that is also a contributing factor. I'm in sort of vacation mode so I'm not as structured as normal. Part of this is dating and seeing this girl which has mellowed me out some. So two days a week I'm with her and that throws my normal structure off. Also in general I just don't have the same drive which is curious. Maybe I just need a bit of a break before getting back to ultra focused mode. A good indicator is what time I get up. Before I was consistently getting up at 4:30, often times 4:00 for awhile. Getting up at 5:30 was easy. Now I'm getting up at 6:30 or sometimes later often not getting up right when my alarm goes off. So I'm just feeling a bit weak. For well over a year I was in a highly motivated and work hard state. Part of it is also just working part time and studying. my efforts are split between the two. I can't wait to really land the job I want and to focus on that. It will feel good to have a direction like that with a good trajectory where I can focus on work and have weekends off.

So today I want to get my study hours in. Get a little work in also. I'd like to meet up with a friend this afternoon as well. I want to start the day with a solid meditation session. I also have to get a solid work out in. That has been lacking. I miss running like I used to. I also miss having some sort of organized sport to do. But I have to make the best of the situation with the little gym here at this apartment. In the afternoon I want to meet up with a friend as well. So looking forward to maybe hanging out. Definitely want to keep my diet a little cleaner today. Eating out a lot has made me fell kind of sloppy and lethargic. It's just another one of those habits that isn't as disciplined as I used to have it. So maybe it's time to start to really just pick and choose when I should enjoy different things and the other times just stick to better habits.

[Jai]

Morning Journal Session

Not in the habit of updating this nightly like I was with my other journal. I think eventually I settle in to more discipline and have a nightly review. Some of these morning sessions are okay too. Regardless I'm not in the daily habit of just keeping things in order. I keep writing over and over that I'm in vacation mode sort of. I did make progress yesterday with my studies so that was good. I want to have a similar experience today and get a bunch done. I'm nearing the end of the first part of my computer course and that is a big milestone. So I want to keep studying a top priority which it is. I'd like to get even more hours in and stay consistent. Tomorrow I'm taking a day off so I want to have a solid day today.

Going to do a nice meditation now. Likely not as long as my meditations during the week but it will still be solid. My spiritual practice is kind of limited to this morning meditation. In the past I was doing other sessions during lunch or at night plus chanting when I could. I'm looking forward to eventually getting back to that.

Tonight going to hang out with my lady friend which is good. Looking forward to going out and having some fun. Tomorrow will mostly be a relax day as well and do some things with her.

[Jai]

Journal Session

Pretty fun weekend and took yesterday off from studying and work. Hung out with my lady friend and will go see her tonight also. That's been throwing off the normal routine I'd like to have but it's worth it. Really want to have a strong day today between now and when I go visit her. For now I'm just going to get some studying done and try to make some progress. As long as I keep my progress up there then I can be a little lazy in other areas and be in vacation mode some. Soon enough I'll be back home and doing my normal high discipline things.

Going to have a meditation now as well. Likely a shorter one that normal but still important to start the day like that. Then I'll just make the best of the day.

That's about it. Not really regular with this journal at night like I was in the past with another journal but that's okay for now.

[Jai]

Sep 6

Really solid day today. It definitely felt good to be productive and get a lot done. Been hanging out with my lady friend some and I haven't been as focused. So today I got a bunch done. I want to repeat this tomorrow as well. Got to get up early to get ahead of things and get my study hours in and work hours also. Not too much else to say about today. All of the effort is adding up, I've been working hard for over 2 years, a year from now I'll be in a really nice place overall. I trust I'll get there. I'm definitely closer to the end than to the beginning so that feels good.

Also looking forward to having things settled where I can really design my life and plan for things. Everything is kind of on hold until I start working in the role I'm going for. Definitely looking forward to having my life set up nice.