building a nice future

[Jai]

Journal Session

Just got up at 5:30am which feels good. I'm going to do a meditation session in a bit and then get some study hours in. I need to work some today as well and I have a couple work meetings which will interrupt my studying. The lesson I'm in has a ton of content but I'm feeling a bit better about being ready for the assessments. I'm hoping by the end of September I'll be ready. So each day I want to put in really good effort. Yesterday I talked with a friend who is also on a spiritual path and it was a good conversation. We're both doing good. I was glad to talk about habits with him and I'm glad I'm almost 6 months no porn. I'm dating now and having regular sex so that is good also. The real thing is what I really want so I'm glad I'm not watching porn. It feels really good to be on this trajectory and I have to keep it up. Most of the time it feels like a non issue so I have to keep it that way. So my other habits aren't as strong as they have been in the past but I'm glad I'm no porn. Once I end my little vacation my other habits will get back to where they need to be.

Now that I near the end of the first part of my computer course and I'm within a year of totally finishing I'm getting more excited about the future. It's feeling more real. I have 2 years of progress and moving forward every day. I can start to feel a bit more what my life will be like when I finish. I really think it will be worth the work. I'll be able to make a nice salary where I can save and live a good life. So I can have funds for a nice lifestyle and save and really build a nice future. So the idea is to really just keep putting in solid work each day to get to my goals.

I really want to make this happen and settle in a bit. Everything is in temporary mode until I make this work. May and June of next year is when it will really come together. Time goes fast so I just need to focus on each day to make sure I keep my progress up. So that's about it for now.

[Jai]

Morning Journal Session

Haven't been keeping much of an active review practice lately. I was consistent for over a year and lately I'm in vacation mode still. Pretty soon I'll be going to stay in a new city and I'm hoping that will give me some nice energy and motivation. Today I want to make a lot of progress with my computer course. The last few days I was doing a bunch of tourist stuff which was nice. I visited some different places that I had been wanting to visit. So I ended up not getting all that much done. I think this upcoming week I'll go on a nice streak and get a lot done. My lady friend is going out of town for a bit to visit family so I'll be able to really focus. I'm hoping to finish the assessment I got coming up. It's difficult so I'll want to have a really strong week to get ready. Once that is out of the way I'll feel much better about things. I'm feeling a bit of pressure to finish this course since it's so important to me. So I really want to give my best effort. It will feel really good once I'm done.

My spiritual life overall is pretty dull lately also. When I'm hanging with my lady friend it's kind of non exisitent. I don't really ever do formal meditations when she is staying over. Overall my meditations are okay but not great. I miss having my meditation pillow and a meditation room and all of the formalitites. I can't wait until I start really working again and can have a nice set up again. I did a little meditation today but not a great one. I'll try to do one later as well.

[Jai]

Journal Session

For whatever reason I'm feeling more inspired to write in the morning rather than the evening. Overall I like a review in the evening and will likely get back to it. But for now I'll just keep going with this. In the evenings I'm usually feeling a bit dull and burnt out from being on the computer. So that is definitely a factor. Plus writing a bit is a decent way to start the day. Optimally doing both would be great.

I do need to get back to better consistency with habits. I'm still in vacation mode and it feels a bit gross. I had a really nice streak of over a year of going solid with a lot of habits. I had a really high level of discipline which felt great. I think I'll definitely get back to that. Maybe a bit of vacation mode is needed to get motivated again. Regardless I feel I'm a bit lazy with habits and it feels gross.

Plus I'm just not as connected and my spiritual life doesn't feel as big of a priority. So that's also why I want to get back to what really works. Problem is that I don't have my meditation pillow or a dedicated space here and that is something I'm missing. Before I had a nice room for mediation and it was something that really helped me. But I should still try to make the best of it.

Yesterday there was an earthquake in mexico as well and I could really feel the building sway some. Everyone went out to the street and there wasn't any damage fortunately. It definitely was an odd feeling so I hope everything continues to be okay. I'm planning on being here another couple weeks before I move to another part of Mexico to stay for a couple months. So that interrupted my flow yesterday and I didn't get as much done as I would've liked.

Today I definitely would like to get a bunch done. I have a work meeting plus my computer course. I'm nearing the end of the first part of my computer course and I'd really like to finish it. That will be a great feeling. I've worked really hard on this for nearly 2 years. I definitely want to finish this first part and get to the next part. I'm hoping to do a lot through September and finish by the first of 2 assessments by the end of September. So I'd like to have some solid days to keep making progress.

So today I want to stay focused and positive and put in good effort at work and in my course. Then get outside some as well and go for a nice walk. 

[Jai]

Oct 12

Solid day today. I have switched cities in mexico and the change has been good. I'm settling in and off to a good start with habits. I'm really looking forward to the next couple of weeks to make a bunch of progress with my studies. It's really an important time to do my best. So I'm going to give maximum effort. next couple of weeks is just study, work, eat, exercise, mediate, pray, sleep. I'm just going ot keep it really basic until I pass my next test. I'm also going to have really solid habits and get my discipline back to where it was.

So today was great, I want more of the same tomorrow. I'm going to try to get up a bit early and just do my best all day. Morning meditation session todya was great. Going to do a shorter session right now as well.

[Pramit]

I hope you enjoy the process 

[Jai]

11 hours ago, Pramit said:

I hope you enjoy the process 

Thanks bud!

 

Oct 13

Solid day again. I've really cleaned things up. I'm back to the discipline I've had in the past which serves me well. My diet has been good and my exercise as well. Those two areas are critical for me. Had a solid meditation in the morning to start the day. Was really productive with my studies and I was helpful at work and had a good attitude trying to contribute and help out. So I want to keep this up overall.

I also wasn't feeling the pressure of an upcoming exam. This is good. I don't want to be in fear or doubt. I want to be in a place of faith and having an ability to meet circumstances. So I'm happy about this. Having good discipline is great with this also. If I get sloppy and eat poorly and stop exercising and waking up early and things like that I slide into a more doubtful and fearful state. I'm much better off being active.