Whether To Get A Cosmetic Operation On My Ears

[DavidBorja]

Hey all! I'm looking for some thoughts on body-image and cosmetic surgery, in terms of practicality and self-acceptance.

Last night I had a good conversation with my therapist that I'm still processing today.

Basically, I'm considering getting my ears pinned, AKA otoplasty, because I've felt for a while that they've stuck out a bit in relation to the rest of my face. I haven't been teased for them, just received a few comments over the years. The conversation with my therapist covered some of the following points:

• If the procedure failed or was disappointing, how would I deal with that?
• Do I stand naked in the mirror much? (more on this below)
• Am I running away from self-acceptance by trying to change this part of myself?
• If this is an uncomfortable dilemma, why? How can I explore that discomfort?

-Mirrors-

We talked about a recent experience I had with exercising. I explained that a few months ago I felt I needed to take a break from exercise. I took a break because I felt I was picking at a scab of self-loathing by exercising while looking in the mirror and running negative thoughts, or judging myself through the workout routine.

In the past two weeks I've taken up exercise again and avoid mirrors when I'm in the middle of it, but feel a lot better when looking in mirrors afterward. Kind of like a "reward" and a congratulatory look at myself. Plus, I feel less distracted from exercise when I'm doing it, and can get more in tune with how my body is feeling and responding to the exercises, as opposed to judging my form, or body in the mirror. So yeah, exercise feels much better lately, which is great.

-Practicals-

Practically speaking, the procedure is expensive, irreversible, and the outcomes aren't guaranteed. I might look into some clinics to gather info and check out options. I'd be out of work for a week or two, and the healing finishes within a few months. I might wear some kind of protection to help the ears heal, and might have to adjust my sleep position so I don't put pressure on them at night.

-Self-acceptance-

The biggest question here is probably the one of self-acceptance. I rewatched one of Leo's older videos about "how to love yourself", and he talks about the paradox of accepting oneself, while also changing things that are within one's power to change. If we're going deeper, the undercurrent here is "fear of what people think". Looking back, I've made a ton of progress over my fear of what people think, but looking at this situation, it's hard to know what's really driving the want to change my ears.

Am I really doing it for me? Or am I trying to stave off a fear of someday hearing comments about them? (I enjoy acting, comedy, public speaking, appearing on videos and photos.) Is talking about this pointless if it's ultimately my choice? (I feel like it's a mixture of all of these.)

In the scheme of my life goals, I know my ears are not a big deal. In terms of spirituality and self-mastery, I'm aware there are far more meaningful ways to spend my focus, energy, and money. Yet, here I am typing at length about this "small problem".

At this point, I think I'm going to find a large mirror, do some affirmations (in the nude) about my body and ears for 2 months, then re-evaluate. Focusing on these things will probably make the discomfort worse, at first. As I discussed with my therapist, finding and leaning into discomfort often leads to the most meaningful progress. I've had this experience many times so far with my personal development, so I'm pretty sure I'm onto something important!

~

Your thoughts are appreciated!  What experiences have you had with self-image? Have you had a cosmetic surgery that was or wasn't worth it? Have you had experience with holistically shifting how you were judging yourself, or aspects of yourself?

Thanks!

Edited February 11, 2017 by DavidBorja
wording

[Nahm]

You are so much bigger than your problems.

Repeat that a few times.

Now realize you will be happy either way.

Repeat that a few times.

 

[Nahm]

Listen to "BIgger than my body" 

Why is it not the time? What is there more to learn?

I shed this skin I've been tripping in, never to quit return.

You are so much bigger than your body David.

 

 

Edited February 11, 2017 by Nahm