How To Shift Negative Motivation To Positive Around Health?

[Elisabeth]

Hi, I'm asking for tips here how to overcome resistance and shift to a more sustainable motivation to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. 

I never liked sports. As a child I was always last, I've got allergies and asthma, and I could go on and on with excuses ... the result is I feel an enormous amount of resistance in my body when contemplating starting an exercise regime, or any more demanding exercise at all. It's a little better when I think about possible nutrition changes, but not much. It's like I have a huge disinterest in healthy eating. 

The problem is, during my university studies I haven't done much, instead had a lot of stress and mental strain, and not surprisingly, my body is falling apart, to put it mildly. One cold after another, back pains, etc. I'm somewhat overweight, but not terribly. Nothing that serious yet.

My mother is pushing me towards huge lifestyle changes, counting calories and stuff, and of course, I just hate being pushed and resist all the more.  But I acknowledge that something has to be done.  I stuck for a few years of my adult life with the more relaxational types of yoga (going to lessons weekly, not an everyday practice), and that's a good start, but that won't be enough, I need to get to the type of exercise which burns fat as well.

With a "just do it" approach I'm running into a brick wall, so some more complex work seems to be required. I'm not sure if I can do it alone or where to start. Has anyone worked through something like this? Could you please help point me into the right direction, please? 

[sweater]

11 hours ago, Elisabeth said:

, I just hate being pushed and resist all the more.

I feel you with this.

I'll say that you should create a mission statement and also start doing a "I'm grateful for" exercise. 
Look at Leo's old video of mission statement to know more. 
The i'm grateful for exercise could be done mentally or physically. Or you could do "Negative Visualization"
Also just sit there doing nothing and ask what's truly creating the resistance. Look deep.
I also recommend you start with like 1 or 2 small habits that you stick to for whole month and than gradually increase the effort
Most important be strategic. 
 

[Nahm]

@Elisabeth Realize you are choosing. 

A wise Indian chief was asked by a young boy how it is that he has gained his wisdom and clarity and joy. The chief explain to the boy that there is a never ending struggle in the universe, and as the boy is the universe, within him is this struggle. The chief explained there is a happy wolf and a sad angry wolf who have been fighting in him since the moment he was born. He said they still fight within you to this day. The boy asked, who will win? The chief replied - the one you feed.

 

[Elisabeth]

21 hours ago, Bugs said:

I'll say that you should create a mission statement and also start doing a "I'm grateful for" exercise. 
Look at Leo's old video of mission statement to know more. 
The i'm grateful for exercise could be done mentally or physically. Or you could do "Negative Visualization"
Also just sit there doing nothing and ask what's truly creating the resistance. Look deep.
I also recommend you start with like 1 or 2 small habits that you stick to for whole month and than gradually increase the effort
Most important be strategic. 
 

 

 

 

 

 

6

Thank you! I will go back to the mission statement video, and I think I missed negative visualisation completely, so I will have a look if that one applies. 

Actually I did start with one simple habit as of now, I'm doing the yoga sun salutation every morning. 2 rounds take just a few minutes, so I might be able to sustain that. 

I think you're right about strategy. This will be a life-long battle... well, hopefully eventually not a battle, but a path. I'll try to get a clearer picture of the goal, and then (if resistance allows) I'll take the time to do the pre-mortem. I'm setting my timeframe to do this until next Saturday, and I'll let you guys know if I did. 

On the first glance, resistance is the one huge huge problem, as I said, and yes, sitting with it may be the technique needed (although I am resistant even about hearing that advice, lol). Def not in the right frame of mind now -- let me start with clarifying the goal / mission statement, and retry once that's in place. 

edit: I just found this https://www.actualized.org/blueprint/resistance . I printed it out, underlined my key points, and taped it on the door of my room. It may serve me well in the changes I want to make (with work as well).

Edited February 12, 2017 by Elisabeth

[Peace and Love]

@Elisabeth

On 2/10/2017 at 10:28 AM, Elisabeth said:

Hi, I'm asking for tips here how to overcome resistance and shift to a more sustainable motivation to maintaining a healthy lifestyle. 

I never liked sports. As a child I was always last, I've got allergies and asthma, and I could go on and on with excuses ... the result is I feel an enormous amount of resistance in my body when contemplating starting an exercise regime, or any more demanding exercise at all. It's a little better when I think about possible nutrition changes, but not much. It's like I have a huge disinterest in healthy eating. 

The problem is, during my university studies I haven't done much, instead had a lot of stress and mental strain, and not surprisingly, my body is falling apart, to put it mildly. One cold after another, back pains, etc. I'm somewhat overweight, but not terribly. Nothing that serious yet.

My mother is pushing me towards huge lifestyle changes, counting calories and stuff, and of course, I just hate being pushed and resist all the more.  But I acknowledge that something has to be done.  I stuck for a few years of my adult life with the more relaxational types of yoga (going to lessons weekly, not an everyday practice), and that's a good start, but that won't be enough, I need to get to the type of exercise which burns fat as well.

With a "just do it" approach I'm running into a brick wall, so some more complex work seems to be required. I'm not sure if I can do it alone or where to start. Has anyone worked through something like this? Could you please help point me into the right direction, please? 

I noticed that you said "you hate being pushed and resist all the more".  It sounds like you feel that you have a lack of control in your life. This is something you might want to look at.  As it seems like it's coming from multiple areas in your life that you feel you have a lack of control.   What "childhood vows" have you created revolving around this?

Sometimes we use food as a form of comfort and safety.  Sometimes we use food as a way to relax and get away.  Perhaps if you can find a way to feel like you are more in control in your life, it will be easier to let go of using food as a comfort, if that is what is going on with you.

One of my mom's closest friends had issues with food and when she got more socialized and was going out more, she stopped using food as a form of entertainment.   She just didn't need it anymore.  I have also used food as a form of comfort myself.  I learned to gorge myself with healthier food instead of grabbing stuff that gives me allergy problems! lol.



You may also want to look into your diet especially since you have allergies.  There is supposedly a connection between eczema and asthma on the DNA Chain.  I have eczema skin issues that are related to dairy allergies.   When I eat dairy it causes me to stress out more, because cheese is addicting and causes a drug like effect.   And it also can be mucus producing making it harder for you to breathe.  

 

Here is a book you may want to look into about food allergies:  Is this your Child by Doris Rapp MD



Here is a holistic answer as well.
Book: Louise L. Hay - You Can Heal Your Life

Health Concern: Asthma
Probable Cause:  Smother Love. Inability to breathe for One's Self. Feeling Stifled. Suppressed Crying.
New Thought Pattern (To meditate and focus on): It is safe now for me to take charge of my own life. I choose to be free.


 

[Thomas]

JUST GET STARTED

Contrary to Nike's Just Do It which implies You have to go through all the steps, scientific research by Timothy Pychyl, PhD shows that "Just getting started" is one of the most powerful tools in Your arsenal in the fight against procrastination.
Try it, it works like magic.

Be aware of rationalizations You make to avoid getting things done - You are very tricky!

You will NOT feel like it tomorrow.

Telling yourself that You will feel more like doing this tomorrow may feel good, but keep in mind that WE - people, are terrible at estimating our state in the future, so when You catch yourself doing that You know You're bullshitting yourself.
Doing a list of things You want to accomplish might make You feel good to a point You'd tell yourself that You've already made something, thus doing "rest" of the actual work can be done tomorrow - remember why You made that list in the first place! 

Writing down HOW and WHEN You want to get things done has been found to be much more effective than just listing Your goals.

[Elisabeth]

@Peace and Love Thank you, this is also a very good post. You are spot on with a few things.

The lack of control, I somewhat know about it - actually to me it feels like I've already improved a lot on this front (since I was depressed a few years ago). It must still be rather obvious if you can name it from my three paragraphs. I'm doing the life-purpose course now to help me get further on track with what I want. 

I also do know about comfort/distraction eating. It's hard to stop myself when I'm frustrated with work (or worse, anxious). Nice to hear you learned to work around yours

 

As for food allergies, I haven't considered them much, it's mainly pollen that causes me stress (and mild asthma). I understand the possibility of cross-allergies though. I'm not sure how to tell a food allergy, I only avoid peanuts (my allergologist tests for them) and raw apples (they give me a very weird taste in my mouth). I got a short summary of the diet and I may do it, but maybe it's not the most urgent issue (?) compared to "just" cutting down on refined sugar, and exercise. I'm going to see some holistic doctor in two weeks, I'm sure she'll have some dietary recommendations too. 

[Elisabeth]

2 minutes ago, Thomas said:

Writing down HOW and WHEN You want to get things done has been found to be much more effective than just listing Your goals.

 

I hear you. 

[Nahm]

Have you tried listening to upbeat music for a few minutes first? That's what I do.

Also, buy a pair of jeans that are the size you will be. Hang em on the wall.

 

[Elisabeth]

On 12. 2. 2017 at 0:25 AM, Elisabeth said:

I think you're right about strategy. This will be a life-long battle... well, hopefully eventually not a battle, but a path. I'll try to get a clearer picture of the goal, and then (if resistance allows) I'll take the time to do the pre-mortem. I'm setting my timeframe to do this until next Saturday, and I'll let you guys know if I did. 

 

1

 

So... I didn't do the pre-mortem. I had it planned for today, and I didn't do it. I did clean up my room which may also help my health but is not exactly an excuse. 

I'm sticking to the sun salutation habit, I think that one will work out. I've slacked off yesterday by not doing it before breakfast, but I came back to it afterwards. Also, I made a few good decisions throughout the week to go for a walk, so I'm feeling a little bit better. (I'm recovering from a few weeks of illness.)

On 11. 2. 2017 at 3:49 AM, Bugs said:

I'll say that you should create a mission statement and also start doing a "I'm grateful for" exercise. 

1

Independently, I am working on my mission statement within the life purpose course, so I am creating a value list. Actually a created one, but I'm not entirely happy with it, so it will get some tweeks once I can pinpoint what's so unsettling there. Anyway, this whole question was inspired by the fact that health is not on my values list. Maybe I misunderstand values, but when I think about things that make me happy and fulfiled, picking my values partly intuitively, health as a concept does not appear, not do activities like execise. I do understand intelectually that health is a prerequisite to pursuing the other values, and I should really make it a priority now that it wavers; but it feels out of integrity to not have it on my list yet give it high priority. 

Do you think I should just put it on the list (which I'll be reading every day) although I don't really feel it? 

On 13. 2. 2017 at 2:30 PM, Nahm said:

Also, buy a pair of jeans that are the size you will be. Hang em on the wall.

 

I read that and I thought "now, that would be really frustrating"  But something along these lines is a good idea. When I think about it, the weight-loss is not the number one goal, it will be much better to focus on getting into shape. I'm currently somewhat limited (I won't do a full-day hike or dare try some more acrobatic things because of bad shape), so I might use pictures of places I wanna see and activities I'm gonna do. (So here goes part of my answer about positive motivation, thanks for the inspiration.)

Edited February 19, 2017 by Elisabeth

[Nahm]

In the mind = superposition. Nothing specific yet

on paper = physical. Is something specific

 

[Elisabeth]

On 19. 2. 2017 at 11:08 PM, Elisabeth said:

I'm sticking to the sun salutation habit, I think that one will work out. ... Also, I made a few good decisions throughout the week to go for a walk, so I'm feeling a little bit better. 

 

So much for that ... I got a sprained ankle, very effectively sabotaging these efforts of mine. I can walk somehow but try to limit it to the necessary minimum. 

Tips for a rather easy exercise routine which I could do in the morning instead of the sun-salutation, and which does not involve the foot?