Bad boy archetype

[Ya know]

Yo

What do you guys think of the bad boy?

What are your personal experiences of it?

Those who are attracted to it, why? why not?

What are the limitations of this lifestyle? 

What is an evolved bad boy? Movie, literary, historical examples (integrated red at stage yellow)

 

IMO a bad boy is someone who has integrated their shadow before their peers - however may be immature in other aspects of their life.

The attraction is the dominance for submissive people.

[Loba]

I don't know how someone can be a "bad boy" and have also integrated their shadow before their peers.  Usually bad boys are emotionally immature, distant men who want to keep people at arm's length and do so through a tough guy façade.  It's such a typical trope.

A dominant and a bad boy are two different things.  A dominant actually needs to be emotionally present and available to lead his sub and he can't do that when he's playing an immature role.  These two things are not synonymous.  Bad boys perhaps wish they could be doms, perhaps the lifestyle of having a submissive might be interesting to them, but these are two very different types of people.  A dom is a protector and leader first and foremost.  Not an adult adolescent looking to "fuck sum bitches".  I've noticed a lot of people gravitate towards that lifestyle who don't know what the hell they're doing and it ends up disastrous for all parties involved.  

I used to like the bad boy trope when I was a young woman who didn't understand the psychology of men.  I didn't know the difference between a dominant and an aloof adult child, and assumed that their keeping me at a distance while stringing me along was because I wasn't doing my part, perhaps I wasn't good enough, yada yada, you know the story.  It's a story as old as time itself.

I genuinely don't think you can be a "bad boy" and also be an evolved human being.  I think it's something that young men should seek to grow out of as soon as possible.

A true dominant male is responsible, emotionally available, respectful, understanding, aware, evolved, and gentle.  He just happens to have a natural proclivity for leading.  if you don't have those qualities and you're just looking to find some subs to submit to you, then you have a butcher's mentality.

Edited August 8, 2022 by Loba

[Tyler Robinson]

 

What do you guys think of the bad boy?

My personal experience with them was never good. They were generally abusive and liked control. They were superficial in the sense, nothing about them was about being tough, they're quite insecure and the whole bad boy image is a facade to cover up their inner insecurities. 

What are your personal experiences of it?

Same as above. 

Those who are attracted to it, why? why not?

I used to be attracted to it. They're narcissists who give you the feeling of security and comfort via love bombing in the initial stages. Later they begin to prey on your weaknesses. The attraction mainly comes from their projected  masculine qualities of being able to lead and dominate, protect and generally a charming disposition. 

What are the limitations of this lifestyle? 

If he is simply a pretentious bad boy then he has nothing to worry other than ending up alone after being a playboy for a while. If he is a real bad boy, then he might have done a couple of illegal things and he could see jail time. Bad boys are never out of trouble. They are drama magnets. 

What is an evolved bad boy? Movie, literary, historical examples (integrated red at stage yellow)

This is difficult. You won't find someone who is perfected with a bit of a shadow. Maybe an evolved bad boy is someone who finally got over their insecurities, don't feel the need to flex their muscles anymore, doesn't act like a bully, doesn't beat up his girlfriend, is no longer a dead beat Dad and takes up responsibility for himself and his family. I could see that as some noteworthy evolution of a bad boy. 

 

IMO a bad boy is someone who has integrated their shadow before their peers - however may be immature in other aspects of their life.

This is a description of a person who knows how to responsibly use his powers. But I haven't seen/encountered a bad boy who was responsible with his behavior. They're not immature in other aspects of life, they're immature, period. In fact the opposite is true. They're the ones who never grew up on the level of their peers. They never matured and lived in their delusional bubble. 

The attraction is the dominance for submissive people.

This is partially true. The other part is physique. I never saw a bad boy with a lame physique and nothing to boast about. They are well aware of their good looks and superficial charm and that's what they bank on. They are good with communication. They can be funny, entertaining, smart, upbeat. They are good at making someone feel close and protected. But it's all just a facade. 

[Nilsi]

4 hours ago, Ya know said:

Yo

What do you guys think of the bad boy?

What are your personal experiences of it?

Those who are attracted to it, why? why not?

What are the limitations of this lifestyle? 

What is an evolved bad boy? Movie, literary, historical examples (integrated red at stage yellow)

 

IMO a bad boy is someone who has integrated their shadow before their peers - however may be immature in other aspects of their life.

The attraction is the dominance for submissive people.

Check out Robert Greenes "The Art Of Seduction." There he breaks down the most common seducer archetypes, and they are a lot more nuanced than just being a "bad boy."

[Jacob Morres]

 

2 hours ago, Loba said:

I genuinely don't think you can be a "bad boy" and also be an evolved human being.  I think it's something that young men should seek to grow out of as soon as possible.

 

there are many lines of development 

2 hours ago, Loba said:

Bad boys perhaps wish they could be doms

they still are being dominant, just being dominant in an emotionally unintelligent way. which is one reason why women get attracted to it in the first place 

 

[Loba]

@Jacob Morres True, there are many lines of development, but you can make assertations on what those will be based on past experiences and the experiences of other women.  I mean, who the hell sits around ideating on every line of development another person can make?

Your second sentence makes no sense.  Because it's emotionally unintelligent, this is why women get attracted to it?  No, young women who don't have a lot of life experience do.  Immaturity attracts immaturity, but I wouldn't say that simply being dominant in an unintelligent way is what attracts a woman.  "There are many lines of development."

[Jacob Morres]

4 minutes ago, Loba said:

Your second sentence makes no sense.  Because it's emotionally unintelligent, this is why women get attracted to it?  No, young women who don't have a lot of life experience do.  Immaturity attracts immaturity, but I wouldn't say that simply being dominant in an unintelligent way is what attracts a woman.  "There are many lines of development."

not BC its emotionally unintelligent. its still dominant. u said its not dominant. its just emotionally unintelligent, dominant 

4 minutes ago, Loba said:

I mean, who the hell sits around ideating on every line of development another person can make?

 its impt to see people outside of one characteristtic lol. the judgement is false, doesnt make sense to say who has the time for that. this works for every judgement ever 

Edited August 8, 2022 by Jacob Morres

[Loba]

@Jacob Morres Well the next time I turn on the Discovery Channel I'll be sure to tune into Bad Boy Development : A Wild and Personal Documentary Spanning Several Lines of Development.  That's a long television title.

No, but seriously, generalizations aren't the end of the world, you have to make them in order to get through life - you can't literally sit through every judgement and try to predict how the line of development is going to go, the best you can do is make predictions based on what has happened to the majority of people, including yourself, in the past.

[Jacob Morres]

@Loba 

nice 

 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9j4kfv-pMw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlJLLjE9_To

[Ya know]

@Loba Yo thanks for the reply

I'll rephrase to ''elements of their shadow'', not all of it.

I'm assuming you had a lot of choices of partner - but picked the bad boy over nice guys who did not have that edge.

My current understanding is they are aware of aggressive, sexual thoughts without repression - whereas other men may feel shame, embarrassment, fear thus making them more attractive.

What work do you think a bad boy needs to do to drop immaturity and turn into a dominant male / alpha male?