Has anybody made the turn from very very lazy to driven?

[narkuser]

I'm curious about this, because I'm really stuck... I'm just another self-help junkie so I have consumed all the content, I have done the exercises about finding your values, visualizing, defining goals, breaking them into smaller goals... dissecting my limiting beliefs, optimizing my diet for energy, etc... And I'm still stuck!!

For many months at moms basement. (And not pursuing financial independence, and living in a place where girls are more abundant so I can get some success with that..., which are my mail goals)

Maybe I'm really addicted to comfort, or I don't care enough for some reason, or I'm too unwilling to force myself... Perhaps all the enlightenment stuff totally destroyed my ambition... I don't know...

Do you guys have any resource that helped you do a 180º turn from lazy to driven? (I ask for something specific like this because I have already consumed the commonly recommended stuff) Maybe the answer can't be simple but I'm curious for recommendations...

[Kksd74628]

@narkuser

All that you need is masculine energy which is all about achieving and doing. Next time when you're doing almost anything try to do that with strong intention and you should feel that drive inside you. When you finally find that fire from inside you, just step on the gas and switch gears according to that. Don't do things in order to do things, but to direct your life to the direction you really want to go. You need be fighter and fight yourself to top of the world. Stop being pussy who is incapable to do anything. I am saying these things just to bring that fire alive, not to actually hate you.

I am going to make guide post about this thing soon so follow not to miss it.

-joNi-

[narkuser]

@Kksd74628 thanks, sounds like good advice

[hoodrow trillson]

43 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

@narkuser

All that you need is masculine energy which is all about achieving and doing. Next time when you're doing almost anything try to do that with strong intention and you should feel that drive inside you. When you finally find that fire from inside you, just step on the gas and switch gears according to that. Don't do things in order to do things, but to direct your life to the direction you really want to go. You need be fighter and fight yourself to top of the world. Stop being pussy who is incapable to do anything. I am saying these things just to bring that fire alive, not to actually hate you.

I am going to make guide post about this thing soon so follow not to miss it.

-joNi-

This is great advice.

Also, be very aware of the sneaky brain trying to put labels on yourself like lazy, complacent, etc.  Very easy to trap yourself even further this way!

[Osaid]

Recently, yes.

Eventually you will get sick of your own complacency and unwillingness to stand up for yourself. You might reach some sort of breaking point where you get really annoyed by your complacency and fear, like some big life decision, that's what happened to me at least. If you love yourself and respect yourself then you will get up and do what needs to be done in order to forge the best version of yourself. You will do it out of love for yourself and gratefulness towards what life has currently handed you.

Either you start working on yourself now, or you wait for life to force you into a situation where you have no choice but to work on yourself. When you start working on yourself, when you start confronting what you fear, do it out of love and respect towards yourself. If you wanna become someone who changes the world, you gotta confront what currently makes you uncomfortable. Use your fear and anxiety as a guidepost towards what you need to forge yourself into the best version of you. In the framework of the Hero's Journey, the things you fear are the dragons that the hero must slay, the bigger the fear the bigger the dragon. But once you slay it, man do you become a much stronger person.
 

It's time to start sticking up for yourself. Show your dreams and ideas some love. You've been neglecting your desires this entire time. Baby steps. At least build some discipline for yourself. Start waking up early. Start researching your interests and what you want to do. Get serious about it before life forces you to get serious about it. Start pre-emptively challenging yourself. Don't let life throw challenges at you, make your own challenges for your own sake. This way, when life gives you lemons, you will already be so skilled and qualified that you can easily make lemonade out of it, and brush past it like it's nothing. 

This idea of starting to be "serious" and being "disciplined" might scare you, that's good. Ask yourself, why the hell are you scared of turning your life into something amazing? You're scared of a putting a little bit of discipline in your life? Haven't you waited long enough? Aren't you sick of constantly getting worried and scared about improving yourself? Notice that fear, and be angry that you have that fear, and focus on getting rid of that fear by confronting what you fear. Like I said, use your fear and anxiety as a guidepost towards the dragons you need to slay.

[narkuser]

@hoodrow trillson yeah, it seems important to not fall into those victim mentality traps, thanks!

@Osaid Thanks this is great. I'm already doing the research about my interests and options. And I think you are right about the fears towards having discipline and obligations, so I still have work to do. And it is very inspiring to know that you were able to grow out of the situation. Thanks!

Edited August 1, 2022 by narkuser

[itsnutsandbolts]

Focus on doing, rather than consuming. You don't need a resource - it sounds like what you need instead is to go out and do things. Actionable steps. If your long term goal is financial independence then start small. Start anywhere. For example, get a job - any job. Set up google alerts, apply for things, go for interviews. Getting a crap job now doesn't mean you will stay in a crap job forever. It just means you have to start somewhere - and most starting places are not ideal.

Focus on process, not the end reward. Focus on sustainable habit building, not on making a 180 degree turn. Focus on doing things and taking daily action, not on 'being driven' or 'not being lazy'. 

Edited August 1, 2022 by itsnutsandbolts

[Razard86]

19 hours ago, narkuser said:

I'm curious about this, because I'm really stuck... I'm just another self-help junkie so I have consumed all the content, I have done the exercises about finding your values, visualizing, defining goals, breaking them into smaller goals... dissecting my limiting beliefs, optimizing my diet for energy, etc... And I'm still stuck!!

For many months at moms basement. (And not pursuing financial independence, and living in a place where girls are more abundant so I can get some success with that..., which are my mail goals)

Maybe I'm really addicted to comfort, or I don't care enough for some reason, or I'm too unwilling to force myself... Perhaps all the enlightenment stuff totally destroyed my ambition... I don't know...

Do you guys have any resource that helped you do a 180º turn from lazy to driven? (I ask for something specific like this because I have already consumed the commonly recommended stuff) Maybe the answer can't be simple but I'm curious for recommendations...

Your not lazy, you lack passion. Currently right now you are struggling with two things. 1. Not sure what you want to do. 2. Have an idea what you might like to do, but do not believe you are capable of doing it= feelings of unworthiness.

This means you have a mild form of depression. Low self-worth in relation to what you really want in life.

Its no problem the key to overcoming depression....is to do something. DO ANYTHING!! Depression saps you of motivation and makes you non productive. When you are tired of being this way, get up and do something. You always have control over how you feel at any given moment. Realize that all thought and beliefs/ are just impressions you gathered throughout your life and have no basis in truth UNLESS you believe they do.

Watch this video to understand how much your thoughts create your reality and make a commitment to learn to master your thoughts. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EokHiVt0KeU&t=3931s&ab_channel=Actualized.org

Start the journey of accountability. Everything starts and ends with you!!

Edited August 1, 2022 by Razard86

[Yarco]

As cheesy as it sounds, watch motivation / inspiration videos on Youtube for an hour a day. You can do it while you're driving or in the shower or whatever. The video doesn't really matter, just the audio.

There are thousands of unique videos like this, you'll never run out:

If you find one that really resonates with you, keep watching it over and over.

I credit this video for the first time I ever earned $10k in a month:

A big part of it is masculine energy as mentioned above. These videos are excellent at tapping into and amplifying the masculine energy inside of you. They also act like positive affirmations when you listen to them over and over, it starts to shape your mindset.

If you don't feel inspired and amped up after watching a few of these videos then I don't know what to tell you. Maybe play them even louder . If you feel like a fucking Viking warrior afterward then you're doing it right.

If you start watching these videos and feeling more driven, keep watching them. They're only a temporary stopgap measure and you need to start developing successful habits to cement it as something permanent, otherwise your motivation will fade just as quickly when you stop listening to them.

Edited August 1, 2022 by Yarco

[narkuser]

@itsnutsandbolts Thanks, I think this is great advice. It makes sense to stop just consuming and focusing more on action, on smaller steps.

@Razard86 Certainly I have some lack of confidence because maybe I won't have enough energy for commitments would have to make in a job or anywhere, but its all subjective and this feelings can be controlled I think, as you say. Thanks.

@Yarco Thanks, it's great to hear that stuff like this worked for you. I like the idea of playing this again and again as a way to brainwash myself and get more of that warrior energy. And it's something very practical, for sure I'm going to start putting some of these in my phone. (I'm going to have to find the ones that feel the least cheese for me at first though lol)

Edited August 1, 2022 by narkuser

[BipolarGrowth]

I spent most of a year off of work and using THC/psychedelics while meditating. I laid on my futon for the majority of that year. I was actually quite active with spiritual practice, moreso than ever before in my life, but I didn’t progress in any materialistic way or really any other area than spirituality. At a certain point I was immensely satisfied just having awakenings daily. 
 

Eventually I had to get a job for financial reasons. This lead to a bit more activity, but everything changed when I started going to the gym seriously. It was the basis of the change I made. My energy levels and natural motivation started to increase as I went to the gym more consistently. A lot of becoming more productive has to do with momentum. Going to the gym and doing serious training while improving your diet will probably change your situation easier/more than any other single thing you could do. Now I’m probably 10x more productive than I used to be. 

[narkuser]

@BipolarGrowth Thanks. It's great to hear that you are able to go for the necessary materialistic stuff after awakening experiences. Momentum and physical exercise, noted!

[Ulax]

I'd recommend the book, 'Atomic habits'.

However, trauma, or neurodivergence, to my understanding, might get in the way of being able to effectively create systems.

Edited August 2, 2022 by Ulax

[narkuser]

@Ulax I knew about that book, but I had not payed enough attention to it. Actually, the concepts in there, which I recently remembered from other materials, are the thing getting me to take action today. Reducing the requirements of taking action to the minimum, building habits from ridiculously small beginning steps. This is actually working for me. Hopefully I can build into bigger work habits this way. Thanks for the reminder!

[Ulax]

13 minutes ago, narkuser said:

@Ulax I knew about that book, but I had not payed enough attention to it. Actually, the concepts in there, which I recently remembered from other materials, are the thing getting me to take action today. Reducing the requirements of taking action to the minimum, building habits from ridiculously small beginning steps. This is actually working for me. Hopefully I can build into bigger work habits this way. Thanks for the reminder!

@narkuser You're welcome. Hope it works out for you.

[MarkKol]

On 8/1/2022 at 7:25 PM, Razard86 said:

Your not lazy, you lack passion. Currently right now you are struggling with two things. 1. Not sure what you want to do. 2. Have an idea what you might like to do, but do not believe you are capable of doing it= feelings of unworthiness.

This means you have a mild form of depression

Where did you get this from? I never looked at it that way, that laziness is a result of mild depression. Its crazy because now I'm actually considering the possibility of someone being depressed without being aware of it

I thought depression was obvious? Dude maybe I've been mildy depressed this entire time

[MrBean]

@narkuser you need more momentuoum

[supremeyingyang]

@narkuser

Here is the advice you look for: You waste your finite time and you will never get it back.

[Flowerfaeiry]

Stop calling yourself lazy. You don’t need to “do more” to “stop being lazy”. You need to remove the blockages that are holding you back from doing things you truly desire. Calling yourself lazy is one of them. It doesn’t sound comfortable to be in the position you’re in so I wouldn’t say you’re “addicted to comfort”. Of course you want to be comfortable, there’s nothing wrong with that. You want success so you can have more ease in life. That’s a good thing. The forcing and incessant pushing and being so hard on yourself will paradoxically keep you from those goals, as you’ve seen. 

In these types of situations you need to get back to the hardcore basics and move even more slowly than you have. Do you have unintegrated traumas? You said you’ve tried breaking things up into smaller goals, how small were those? Make them ridiculously small (this isn’t easy, because you might think they’re not doing anything). But make them something that you can be proud of. Depending on your specific situation my advice will differ. What is one small thing that sounds doable to you that you can start implementing? You may even have blockages to doing that and that’s normal. 

[narkuser]

@MrBean I agree, trying to build it now!

 

@supremeyingyang Definitely. I keep this in mind all the time.

 

@Flowerfaeiry I think you are right that I don't need to call myself lazy, and make an identity of something temporary.

I think I'm not pushing myself in an unhealthy way these days, as I have in the past. That's why I'm trying to figure out a way to make myself naturally want to work, instead of forcing it.

For making goals small, I think I'm finally doing it right. I'm just doing 5min/day of working in my resume/github(for software jobs). This is my second day doing it. Hopefully I can build momentum from this.

For unintegrated trauma, I might have something, because since many years I clench my teeth in my sleep (still researching to try to fix, but it's sticky). But I think this doesn't block me from the things I want to do at the moment.

Thanks for all these ideas!

Edited August 3, 2022 by narkuser