Traumatic daygame experience

[assx95]

This was my 7th approach so I am total noob. I was approaching girls in the mall along with my friends. 

I see this stunning girl, moments back I had intended to shut off my mind and just walk to a girl I find attractive. I say Hi, tell her I was drawn to her and I find her really cute. I shake hands with her. 

Suddenly her mom, her brother and idk some relatives come out of no where. I acknowledge their presence very meekly asking her if that lady is her mom and that guy her brother. Her mom asks me - what is happening? 

Idk why I said what I said - I told her I find her ( her daughter) really cute. And she gave a very harsh reaction saying - how dare you? 

For the next one hour, I was half ashamed, half afraid. That was that. 

All the five approaches I did today, all I was able to do is give them a compliment and/or introduce myself. They become startled in my presence and they usually leave within 20 seconds. 

I feel like I am being punished for just trying. I live in India. So, i can expect it be that way to an extent. I am not sure how yo proceed. Could someone guide? 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHfAMh6Edm4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJUhShVcfms

 

Edited July 31, 2022 by Raze

[Federico del pueblo]

2 hours ago, assx95 said:

Idk why I said what I said - I told her I find her ( her daughter) really cute. And she gave a very harsh reaction saying - how dare you? 

Ok. There are a lot of things that can happen. This woman is simply very conservative and might have really weird attitudes.

Not your problem, it has nothing to do with you.

I would just continue to do what you're already doing. I don't know how the societal rules in India are so maybe you need feedback from Indians on here.

Don't take it personally, you just truthfully expressed yourself, nothing wrong with that.

[Average Investor]

I think it would change the setting there a bit. It might have been better to introduce yourself at that point. That or maybe just say you were introducing yourself. Regardless, that sounds like a tough thing to have happen on a 7th approach. Time to go do some more. 

 

[Arcangelo]

3 hours ago, assx95 said:

Could someone guide? 

Yes, I can.

You laugh it off and move on.

 

3 hours ago, assx95 said:

- how dare you? 

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bando]

Thats the nature of cold approach try doing your approaches in venues where its more acceptable to be social, like school events, outdoor gatherings, ect.

[Arcangelo]

3 hours ago, assx95 said:

I am total noob.

Yes, a seasoned PUA would have introduced himself to the whole family, to charm the whole family. Making eye contact with everyone, making sure he gets everybody's name. At this point his attention will be totally invested in the family. He will be displaying mad confidence. And that in return will make the girl feel sexually attracted to you. At this point his attention will go back to the girl and he will, in front of everyone, ask for her #. And she will give it to him.

[Max_V]

what might be traumatic right now will become just another experience you survived, and in turn mature you as a person.
Be proud of yourself, you're a super brave person for even doing this.

I wish you all the best with processing and moving forward, you got this bro!

[Hugo Oliveira]

Relax. Shit happens. Soon it all will vanish from your mind and you'll release the shame feelings. 

I don't recommend you become obsessed about getting the confidence to manage this kind of situation. You can just let them go. Instead, become more and more mindful that what you are doing is nothing bad or wrong. So for example, if you approach a 13-year-old girl by mistake or even a girl with her boyfriend. Just recognize that it can happen to anyone and you have no intentions to cause problems in anybody's life. Then, move on with no regret.

[assx95]

Thx all! You all inspired me to try again and not quit. 

[AuroraDream]

goodluck, im not a fan of pickup, it can be quite cringe

[Space]

@assx95 India definitely has some different acceptable standards when it comes to approaching women and dating/relationships in general, so I suspect it's going to be quite a bit more challenging doing day game there vs somewhere in the West. But the very fact that you're out there doing approaches is amazing. Seriously - you've taken a step that millions of guys will NEVER do. Don't let this situation derail you. Re-frame it as a win simply because you've gained some experience in a difficult social situation. That's valuable in itself. 

Work to be more relaxed, chill, friendly and grounded in the body. You might have been coming off a little stiff and awkward which can make people feel uneasy and anxious.

[flowboy]

18 hours ago, assx95 said:

I am not sure how yo proceed. Could someone guide? 

@assx95  Sorry to hear that, that experience would feel traumatic to me as well (and I've been through situations like that - and worse)

The reason it feels traumatic to you is because it stirs up pain of other experiences that felt similarly.

If that wasn't the case, you would be able to just shrug it off.

Many people I've helped got benefits from my emotional processing video that I will link here: https://www.erikjongbloed.com/self-healing-sequence

I suggest you try the exercise, perhaps multiple times, and give yourself some time to recuperate from the hurt state one can be in, and then just continue your approach practice.

[mr_engineer]

@assx95 In India, rapport is impossible. Therefore, pick-up can't work here. 

Either use your social-circle, old friends from school and college, work-circle or your cousins' friends or something. I'd recommend chasing success and getting some social-status and using your work-circle. Cuz women here want commitment right off the bat. 

It's not going to be possible to get any other kind of sex-life in an ethical way here. Cuz you have to be a bit of an asshole to get someone to be a friends-with-benefits. And one-night-stands are too risky. Too much risk of getting falsely accused. So, if you want any other kind of sex-life, get out of here! 

[xbcc]

You live in a country where that is not okay. In the west you would not get such a reaction from the mom. Accept what is and realize it's not your fault. Next time when that happens say I wanted to talk to your daughter with respect and that you understand that she might not like it. Then say goodbye and leave.

You need a stronger frame of reality.