My Path to True Self-actualization

[kag101]

some background about myself

i plan to do an intuitive, random, and intimate type of journal. i have nothing to lose from being open. obviously, i will use common sense. i think it'll be nice to know that people might be reading this and resonating with what i'm going through.

just to give you some background:

i'm a guy in my mid-twenties. i suffered from moderate depression and social anxiety disorder from 9-23. i finally found a good psychiatrist who prescribed me the correct medication. i've been stabilized since December of 2019.

and i've also been going to a great therapist (she's expensive, but really worth it). i feel she really helps me get into the path of reconstructing my life. it's not just a superficial change. it's as if i'm going to my roots. it's the type of progress that nobody can take away from me. after many years, i'm finally in the "right" direction. 

i'm majoring in psychology, and i'm going to my 4th semester (out of 10). i'm bissexual (with a preference to men). i consider myself attractive. my hair is thinning, but fortunately it still not something that is really noticeable.

 

tinder

i've been using it for almost three years. even though it has a bad rep, if you are patience and able to filter the wheat from the chaff, it's worthy. Yes, 99% of people there suck, but i'm really glad i met those 1%.

one problem that i used to have is that i only got matches with men. it was frustrating tbh. fortunately, i think they finally fixed that and now i'm getting matches with girls as well. since i started using it, i haven't had a date with girl yet. i'm looking forward to it. but i've been really selective nowadays. i won't go out with someone just to kiss or get laid. there has to be a connection.

 

a hack to get automatically better at organization

i used to struggle with that a lot. i had a powerful insight that was to simply focusing on (literally) aligning things and making them more aesthetically pleasant. just this simple change has been giving me awesome results.

when i align things i immediately start to get into the right mindset. it sounds like it doesn't make a difference, but it has been life-changing for me. unconsciously, i used to resist to that due to the incorrect notion that wanting things to be aligned = ocd.

 

want to get back into teaching portuguese

i'm brazilian. i used to tutor portuguese for non-native speakers. i got fed up with it. but lately i've been wanting to get back to it. but now i will only accept intermediate and advanced students. i don't enjoy teaching beginners. it demands too much effort imo.

i've applied on a site. i think i'll get a response in the next few days. i really hope it works out.

i've been able to make a habit of working on creating activities everyday. in fact, i'll do this right now lol.

 

i think that's enough for today. bye =)

Edited July 25, 2022 by kag101