Dark side temptation in late stages of self development

[Zedman]

It seems that my progress has entered new stage where I am getting drunk on my own power and potential possibilities. This is after all my life until late 20s I was nothing but degrading. The contrast is so strong I feel like a spring bear at an all you can eat buffet. I have some strong signs that this is my new baseline state so its unlikely I am deluding myself.

Temptation is to dip head first into orange style consumer living by putting my newfound energy into building all kinds of powers- social, financial, personal. Big time. This will have to involve exploitation and loss of integrity. My conviction is that to gain money and social status someone has to lose equal amount. And gaining those things by creation takes time that I am afraid I do not have patience for. I do have a life purpose set up which is opposite of my egoic fantasies. I just want to squeeze this phase in between. I am noticing the highs I am getting from social wins, attention from girls I never had, ability to handle stress and finally being able to put myself to work. This state has been well tested by hardships of life and failures and only made me feel more invincible. And I want more!

How I justify this in my head:

* I deserve some fun after so much suffering, rough childhood and self destructing teens and 20s

* I will get over it. Lets have this life for 2 years

* My life purpose is full of creation so this is how I will repay

* My life purpose requires knowing different stages from within

* Solipsistic arguments

Where am I wrong? How not to get lost? Any experiences or advice?

[Nilsi]

Go and act out your will to power for some time and you will realize how pathetic and hollow that is. Actually do it, so you don't get hung up on all the "what if's."

Edited July 24, 2022 by Nilsi

[Chrisd]

On 7/24/2022 at 3:41 PM, Zedman said:

It seems that my progress has entered new stage where I am getting drunk on my own power and potential possibilities. This is after all my life until late 20s I was nothing but degrading. The contrast is so strong I feel like a spring bear at an all you can eat buffet. I have some strong signs that this is my new baseline state so its unlikely I am deluding myself.

Temptation is to dip head first into orange style consumer living by putting my newfound energy into building all kinds of powers- social, financial, personal. Big time. This will have to involve exploitation and loss of integrity.

Why exploit? Your success doesn't necessarily mean someone else's failure, does it? 

[Zedman]

@Chrisd

No, but sacrificing integrity helps in achieving short term goals faster and better. That is the temptation.

[jake473]

On 7/26/2022 at 3:42 PM, Zedman said:

@Chrisd

No, but sacrificing integrity helps in achieving short term goals faster and better. That is the temptation.

It helps in ruining your life.