How to attract good man/masculine energy into my life?

[Vxvxen]

@mr_engineer

6 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

There is a lot of conditioning from movies and beauty-contests about the 'ideal body-type'. This is like a consensus, that everyone would agree is attractive. However, when push comes to shove, we go for women who have the body-type our mom has! Believe it or not. If our mom was fat, we will go for fat women cuz we'll assume that the slim women are out of our league or something. And they probably are, for a while, cuz our fat mom has bad health-habits that we've picked up from her. (And this is also why we are conditioned to go for women of our own ethnicity, cuz our parents are of our own ethnicity, biologically speaking.) (Viv: Yeah, we love things that feels familiar to us. i.e. if I have a dad that acts in a certain way, I might want to find someone similar in a spouse so I get to re-live the way I know how to love growing up - doesn't make it a healthy way to love though.)

If you ask me whether a woman with a nice ass is attractive or not, I'll say 'yes'. This doesn't mean I really care about it! I care about breasts. So, that's what I'll prioritize when I approach someone! There are other guys to whom ass-size is very important. To some guys, it's important that you have a flat stomach. To others, they like curves. They don't mind you having some weight. (Viv: okay, got it)

 

Edited July 28, 2022 by Vxvxen

[Vxvxen]

I just want to pin Emerald's post on here for reference 

 

Edited July 28, 2022 by Vxvxen

[flowboy]

@Vxvxen  Hi Viv.

I'm seeing a lot of advice in the style of: "Be more this, do more of that, healthy conscious men like X".

I want to give you a different take.

You will attract what you are being.

Therefore if you start to change the way you dress or speak or act, in the hopes of attracting some idea of a man, then the underlying energy is "I modify myself to meet someone else's standards". That attracts other people who are also portraying themselves a certain way out of insecurity, because that's an energetic match - together you can confirm each other's mask - until it drops and the real selves don't match.

This is why I think it's pointless to take advice in this form.

 

As an alternative, you could check within to see what elements of you are currently being hidden, and how you can bring those out.

That will attract people who match your authentic self.

This is something I guarantee you won't want to do - parts of our authentic self are hidden for a reason.

An example is what you shared about dressing down - here there's a behavior modification driven by fear, and so I advise that you experiment with the opposite and how that makes you feel, and how that new feeling influences who you attract.

Not because "the right type of men like it when you dress like X", but simply because it's a part of you that goes unseen - the part that likes to dress really feminine and feel sexy.

In this manner, you can scan yourself for other expressions of yourself that you are suppressing, and do the opposite.

This will create an authentic self expression.

Which enables the right match to find you and be attracted to you.

My question for you:

• Which other interests, thoughts, opinions, desires, dreams, passions, dispassions, disinterests, leisure activities, behaviors and expressions of yourself are you modifying out of fear?

Edited August 1, 2022 by flowboy

[Vxvxen]

@flowboy hi there, nice to meet you, I appreciate your feedback 

On 8/1/2022 at 9:09 PM, flowboy said:

@Vxvxen  Hi Viv.

I'm seeing a lot of advice in the style of: "Be more this, do more of that, healthy conscious men like X".

I want to give you a different take.

You will attract what you are being. (Viv: 100%)

Therefore if you start to change the way you dress or speak or act, in the hopes of attracting some idea of a man, then the underlying energy is "I modify myself to meet someone else's standards". That attracts other people who are also portraying themselves a certain way out of insecurity, because that's an energetic match - together you can confirm each other's mask - until it drops and the real selves don't match.

This is why I think it's pointless to take advice in this form. (Viv: Mhm, okay i see what you mean! I have withheld even trying to ask for dating advice at this point because  I find this embarrassing [I am 28 AND single?], but in a way this approach has open up a better energy for me, I don't know how to explain this feeling. It's something to do with - 'ask and you shall receive' kind of a thing. I'm not dying to impress just anyone.)

 

As an alternative, you could check within to see what elements of you are currently being hidden, and how you can bring those out.

That will attract people who match your authentic self.

This is something I guarantee you won't want to do - parts of our authentic self are hidden for a reason.

An example is what you shared about dressing down - here there's a behavior modification driven by fear, and so I advise that you experiment with the opposite and how that makes you feel, and how that new feeling influences who you attract.

Not because "the right type of men like it when you dress like X", but simply because it's a part of you that goes unseen - the part that likes to dress really feminine and feel sexy.

In this manner, you can scan yourself for other expressions of yourself that you are suppressing, and do the opposite. (Viv: Hm, I tend to filter a lot of things I say to people. Eg. Sharing about Actualized.org to friends and family. I've always had this impression that they wouldn't be into spirituality/philosophy/psychology/self-help etc. I tried to raise this topic with a new friend today, seems like it's not that bad after all.)

This will create an authentic self expression.

Which enables the right match to find you and be attracted to you.

My question for you:

• Which other interests, thoughts, opinions, desires, dreams, passions, dispassions, disinterests, leisure activities, behaviors and expressions of yourself are you modifying out of fear? (Viv: Sexuality would be the first, trying not to sound like a pervert to the people i know in real life, acting all decent and proper as a nice conservative girl - which is really annoying. Also, giving myself permission to chase my dreams is a big one too, I've been also suppressing this aspect of my life because I am my own biggest inner critic.)