Approaching A Girl

[PJSTYLES]

I like a girl in my college.I always have eye contact with her.I don't know her and she too.Then how should I approach her or even should I approach her???

[Toby]

So in what situations do you see her?

[YaNanNallari]

I'm not an expert in any way, but I'd just walk up to her in the hallway or something and start talking about something casual school related and maybe ask her opinion on it, or ask her how something like a test went. If you want her then and you don't happen to be in the same group really close to each other etc then you probably should approach her. No need to take huge pressure, it's just a conversation at that point anyway and you don't need her to fulfill you. If she's in a group all the time texting her and asking for a coffee etc is a safe choice or then you can ask the whole group a question maybe.

[aurum]

The fact that you went on a forum to ask a bunch of strangers whether you should approach ONE GIRL shows me you are already coming at this completely wrong.

Your thinking is WAY too small.

I'm going to answer the question you really should be asking, which is "how do I have a mind blowing sex life / relationship while in college?"

First off, learn theory on attraction / gender dynamics. Use Leo's book list, use my blog, use YouTube, it doesn't matter. Just find quality content of people who know what they're talking about.

Next, start hacking your university social scene. I don't know how it was for you guys but at my college Greek life was King. Find whatever your niche is and start connecting people / adding people to your social circle via cold approach.

Then you're the shit. Whatever sex life or girlfriend you want, you'll be able to have it at that point.

And yes I'm greatly oversimplifying the process in this comment. The real purpose of me writing this is just to get you to switch your thinking about WHAT'S POSSIBLE.

[Toby]

@aurum Sounds a bit like the default pickup-fundamentalist who wants to convert someone to his religion. From my own experience I wouldn't recommend it to most people.

[Shin]

47 minutes ago, Toby said:

@aurum Sounds a bit like the default pickup-fundamentalist who wants to convert someone to his religion. From my own experience I wouldn't recommend it to most people.

 

If the op has to ask how to approach one girl, that mean he doesn't know at all how to approach women, thus, his objective shouldn't be to secure one girlfriend, but to overcome his shyness/anxiety with women.

Doesn't mean he should "use" women, or treat them as sex object (he couldn't anyway), but not to focus on this very specific girl.

 

Edited February 8, 2017 by Shin

[Guest Annetta]

...I'm just kidding.  I don't know what you should do, but good luck! :3 <3

[Nahm]

You've just over thought talking to girls - made a mountain out of a molehill. Try to let go of any pressure you may have put on yourself. Think about things you've overcome in your life. I doubt everything has been easy. Think about who you are. I bet you she feels just like you do. Sometimes she's comfortable socially and sometimes not. You can also try priming yourself for situations. Listen to something on YouTube, like Bill Nye's video on population control where he says the solution is educating the woman of the world. Then, you've primed your mind to be more relaxed, because you know you have woman friendly topic ready to go. Of course, that topic is a hypothetical example. Just a topic she might find pleasing to hear thus increasing her desire to respond back. Then the rest is easy. Except for the baby diapers and midnight feedings. But then it gets easy again. You can tell by Randy Quaid's face that this will most likely work, or at least seem to work out in the end. 

 

[clytaemnestra]

22 hours ago, Toby said:

@aurum Sounds a bit like the default pickup-fundamentalist who wants to convert someone to his religion. From my own experience I wouldn't recommend it to most people.

As a girl, I agree. I myself prefer respectful men who don't chase every female being because I feel as a prey and simply stupid, like just an option and object of his desires. I also prefer approaching men, but for girls who are shy and prefer it another way, I'd suggest to find out what her interests are and to jump in. You'll have a topic to talk about and she'll see that you're not approaching her due to her looks, but something she does. Even if she doesn't like you, she'll probably talk with you about that what she's doing in her life and she likes, thus it's a good start.

[Shin]

It's not because you try to get better with women that you're necessarily a jerk.

Some guys use it wisely to just get comfortable around women and finally having the balls to attract the woman they really want.

Getting better at attracting women doesn't mean "I'm gonna lie and fuck them all", it just mean learning the skills you need to be attractive and socialize with them until you stop putting them on a pedestal, and treating them just like any other bro you have.

Edited February 10, 2017 by Shin

[clytaemnestra]

6 hours ago, Shin said:

It's not because you try to get better with women that you're necessarily a jerk.

Some guys use it wisely to just get comfortable around women and finally having the balls to attract the woman they really want.

Getting better at attracting women doesn't mean "I'm gonna lie and fuck them all", it just mean learning the skills you need to be attractive and socialize with them until you stop putting them on a pedestal, and treating them just like any other bro you have.

How would you feel in this situation: You like one girl and somehow you manage to talk to her. You invite her to hang around together and you share some nice time talking about various topics. In a free time you text each other and you're 100% sure she likes you. I mean, you hang around together, you text each other when you're apart, what else you need? You prepare yourself to advance to a bit higher level and things are becomming serious. She comes and she tells you out of the blue that she likes another guy and you were just an option who with she practised her social skills. How would you feel?

I know that some people date other people just for fun or even worse, date multiple partners in the same time. I find it highly immature and disguisting. It's about people and peoples feelings, not about dolls to practice anything on them.

[Shin]

That implies hiding your true motive from the get go, as soon as you have a date, you should clarify instantly that you aren't searching anything serious and just trying to resolve your anxiety/attractiveness problem with women.

That demands some balls and honesty, but that's what a real man is about right ?

 

Edited February 10, 2017 by Shin

[Rocky]

Man just go up and talk to her, just walk up to her and say they look bored or if she's ok, or what's the subject it seems really interesting. 

It sounds crazy but it works for me, just bring yourself in a convocation with her. 

And if you get ignored or rejected then simply walk away, it takes balls to do it but you will grow from it and that will make you seem more manly and attractive by building confidence in the eyes of other females and more alpha in front of men that don't have the balls to do it.

I don't think it wold be a good idea personally to just talk to her and say I saw you looking at me across the room it might come off as weird. But anyway try to introduce yourself and engage with her.

Don't focus on the girl and what to say just enjoy the moment and how you'll grow even more as a man from it. Girls can sense when a mans staging it or not confident.

You have nothing to lose only shit to gain 

Edited February 11, 2017 by Rocky

[Vaishnavi]

On 2/9/2017 at 2:12 AM, aurum said:

The fact that you went on a forum to ask a bunch of strangers whether you should approach ONE GIRL shows me you are already coming at this completely wrong.

Your thinking is WAY too small.

I'm going to answer the question you really should be asking, which is "how do I have a mind blowing sex life / relationship while in college?"

First off, learn theory on attraction / gender dynamics. Use Leo's book list, use my blog, use YouTube, it doesn't matter. Just find quality content of people who know what they're talking about.

Next, start hacking your university social scene. I don't know how it was for you guys but at my college Greek life was King. Find whatever your niche is and start connecting people / adding people to your social circle via cold approach.

Then you're the shit. Whatever sex life or girlfriend you want, you'll be able to have it at that point.

And yes I'm greatly oversimplifying the process in this comment. The real purpose of me writing this is just to get you to switch your thinking about WHAT'S POSSIBLE.

Wow. This. Is. Real. Growth. 

@PJSTYLES This is the perfect advice. Usually people don't go for this since it's time consuming, requires you to delay gratification and is hard work. Very hard actually. But this is something very solid, permanent and fulfilling 

[Peace and Love]

@PJSTYLES

On 2/8/2017 at 8:28 AM, PJSTYLES said:

I like a girl in my college.I always have eye contact with her.I don't know her and she too.Then how should I approach her or even should I approach her???

Don't make it more complicated than it has to be.  Just go up to her and say Hi and start a conversation. Don't let your fear get the better of you.  You are good enough just as you are and you deserve to interact with women and have a relationship!

If you smile at her, and she smiles back and looks at you, it's pretty much an invitation that it's safe to approach her.

I would definitely get involved with pickup.

Good luck!

[aurum]

On 2/11/2017 at 1:22 PM, Vaishnavi said:

Wow. This. Is. Real. Growth. 

@PJSTYLES This is the perfect advice. Usually people don't go for this since it's time consuming, requires you to delay gratification and is hard work. Very hard actually. But this is something very solid, permanent and fulfilling 

Thanks!