How to have more experiences ?

[Someone here]

How do I gain life experience?

I'm a 25 year old college student who's on the typical path that my parent's wanted for me: I pretty much already have a job offer in the business field after college. But I can't help but feel like all my life, I've missed out on crucial life experiences that my peers were able to have. I'm still a virgin, and have never really had my first real girlfriend. I'm not exactly ashamed of this as I know this is just my life path..but I want to be more charismatic and comfortable in my skin when I am in my social circles .

 I want to travel the world, have crazy and exotic life experiences before my body starts to decline from it's physical and sexual peak. But I don't know how. I feel trapped to live a "safe" life. My biggest fear is that I will wake up one day 35 years old and still single, wondering where the time went and why I didn't take advantage of being a healthy, young adult.

[Leo Gura]

15 minutes ago, Someone here said:

My biggest fear is that I will wake up one day 35 years old and still single, wondering where the time went and why I didn't take advantage of being a healthy, young adult.

That's one of the wisest things you've said on here.

Time to make some bold decisions.

[itsnutsandbolts]

17 minutes ago, Someone here said:

How do I gain life experience?

You can gain life experience by going out and doing the things you mentioned.

If you want a girlfriend, go talk to more girls.

If you want to travel the world, start with one place. 

Also, congrats on the job offer. That is life experience that someone else wants. You have that; learn what you can from it. 

[kamwalker]

Stop thinking and start doing. The answers you need are not going to come from asking questions on this forum and hoping things will change.

[Someone here]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

That's one of the wisest things you've said on here.

Time to make some bold decisions.

How would you define life experience?

  is it about traveling the world, trying different things, and meeting people.  learning from life.  Learning from the places you've been, the things you've done, and the people you've met  . As long as you are able to learn new things every day, from situations around you, things you read, people you meet, things you do, and emotions you feel, you will be gaining life experience?

I have a friend who has a job translating for different conferences all over the world. He has probably visited more than 10 different countries, but GOD is he boring and inexperienced in everything except his job. Last week he went to Japan, I asked him how it was and he said "I dunno". He didn't really notice any cultural differences, social mannerisms, or anything else. This is because he does not take interest in anything around him, so he doesn't learn anything from anything around him. So it seems to me that you can have tons of different experiences and still be inexperienced, how does that go ?

 

 

[Someone here]

6 minutes ago, itsnutsandbolts said:

You can gain life experience by going out and doing the things you mentioned.

If you want a girlfriend, go talk to more girls.

If you want to travel the world, start with one place. 

Also, congrats on the job offer. That is life experience that someone else wants. You have that; learn what you can from it. 

Thanks .

Well ..when I say more experience..I don't just mean positive experience. I want variety and novelty. 

What comes to my mind as The common fix for a boring life is a series of bad decisions. drinking or drugs. Quit college and get a crummy job in a distant city or foreign country. Enlist in the military or pick up a dangerous hobby.

Or a combination of things. I could start drinking, move to a far off place, break contact with family, go broke, then enlist in the military so i can eat, and while there make sure to volunteer for dangerous assignments. You know what I'm talking about? 

[Someone here]

10 minutes ago, kamwalker said:

Stop thinking and start doing. The answers you need are not going to come from asking questions on this forum and hoping things will change.

Well.  You are probably right . But this forum is my second family .I don't really have an active social life ..whether In real life or social media .so....

[kamwalker]

13 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Well.  You are probably right . But this forum is my second family .I don't really have an active social life ..whether In real life or social media .so....

That's fine. Just make sure it doesn't become a crutch to you so that you don't need to take action. If the forum fulfills your social needs enough then you might not be as motivated to expand. It's the same concept with porn. Jerk off all the time and you won't care to meet women. 

[BuddhistLover]

If you use air miles, you can travel around the world for just $2,700. 

[BuddhistLover]

If you walk over to the bar tonight, you can meet some new girls. Just walk your booty over there and stop thinking. 

[Someone here]

11 minutes ago, BuddhistLover said:

If you walk over to the bar tonight, you can meet some new girls. Just walk your booty over there and stop thinking. 

Lol ? 

There Ain't no "bars "in my country bro .

I should've stated in OP that I live in a third world country where dating before marriage is considered a "sin " .

Not to make excuses. But also so we can be clear and realistic. 

[itsnutsandbolts]

43 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Thanks .

Well ..when I say more experience..I don't just mean positive experience. I want variety and novelty. 

What comes to my mind as The common fix for a boring life is a series of bad decisions. drinking or drugs. Quit college and get a crummy job in a distant city or foreign country. Enlist in the military or pick up a dangerous hobby.

Or a combination of things. I could start drinking, move to a far off place, break contact with family, go broke, then enlist in the military so i can eat, and while there make sure to volunteer for dangerous assignments. You know what I'm talking about? 

Haha I know. Go chase variety and novelty then. They don't have to be bad decisions. You could let college end naturally (especially if you are nearly finishing) and get a job you want in a distant city/foreign country. Doesn't have to be a crummy job. Or it could be. Up to you.

Re: your combination of things - you could do all of that if you wanted to, but you can't do them all at once. So start somewhere. Honestly it sounds like you're bored with life and want to do something that gets your blood pumping. If you are exploring, start with something non-committal to begin with - eg. try kite surfing once, as opposed to enlisting in the military. 

Just saw what you said about the country aspect too, I feel for you - I've been there. It can be stifling.

Side note, excessive drinking - generally not a good idea. Good luck with everything. 

[Someone here]

11 minutes ago, itsnutsandbolts said:

Haha I know. Go chase variety and novelty then. They don't have to be bad decisions. You could let college end naturally (especially if you are nearly finishing) and get a job you want in a distant city/foreign country. Doesn't have to be a crummy job. Or it could be. Up to you.

Re: your combination of things - you could do all of that if you wanted to, but you can't do them all at once. So start somewhere. Honestly it sounds like you're bored with life and want to do something that gets your blood pumping. If you are exploring, start with something non-committal to begin with - eg. try kite surfing once, as opposed to enlisting in the military. 

Just saw what you said about the country aspect too, I feel for you - I've been there. It can be stifling.

Side note, excessive drinking - generally not a good idea. Good luck with everything. 

I better hurry up. I don't want to approach my 30s with almost nonexistent life experience. That would terrible on all levels. 

I have to start trying to do stuff. I think that at 25.. it may still be "allowed" by most of the society. The older you get, the more you fall into a viscous cycle, as the society prevents you from gaining experience, because you don't have experience.

[Bobby_2021]

What is stopping you from getting more experiences? 

Is it anything but your self?

I know our culture places a lot of restrictions, but that is something we have to work with. Wanting to change things you have mo control over will surely make you sad all the time. 

[Someone here]

2 minutes ago, Bobby_2021 said:

What is stopping you from getting more experiences? 

Is it anything but your self?

I know our culture places a lot of restrictions, but that is something we have to work with. Wanting to change things you have mo control over will surely make you sad all the time. 

Well..

I mean that there are limits on when it is socially acceptable to start doing particular activities. In cases when it's unavoidable that your inexperience shows and when you need somobody else's cooperation, surprisingly large portion of society will subconsciously or consciously act against you, preventing the experience gain. It's a kind of protectionism that people do not admit and are offended if you convict them of doing it. The most blatant examples are romance and sex.  
Obviously, it does not apply to travelling or doing anything by yourself.

So number one ,# society is stopping me .

Then my own laziness and lack of self efficacy. 

[NoSelfSelf]

You should be asking yourself that queastion, based on knowledge on yourself, but you  dont have much you know about yourself so you ask others and it wont ever work because nobody is you! ....and dont know what experiences you should have for yourself!

[Someone here]

20 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

You should be asking yourself that queastion, based on knowledge on yourself, but you  dont have much you know about yourself so you ask others and it wont ever work because nobody is you! ....and dont know what experiences you should have for yourself!

Basically I want to try things out of my comfort zone. I like to learn  new things but only certain areas interest me, so I pursue those areas and try to branch out in related areas. Let's say I like to camp, so I might go camping in another state, or in another eco zone where I haven't been. 

I also went from a shy person to being able to be comfortable at a party, I just did it in small steps. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Someone here There is no might! thats the problem  if you want something you need to know why and how to sell it to yourself the idea! otherwise its just a dream and make a rule " i go through the things i say ill do and be behinde that"... thats scary rule to make and will show you if you are bsing yourself

When you set the rule you must not break it!

If you are not behinde your rules you are just wishful thinking...

 

[Someone here]

27 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Someone here There is no might! thats the problem  if you want something you need to know why and how to sell it to yourself the idea! otherwise its just a dream and make a rule " i go through the things i say ill do and be behinde that"... thats scary rule to make and will show you if you are bsing yourself

When you set the rule you must not break it!

If you are not behinde your rules you are just wishful thinking...

 

I think that's a good point . I need to be 100% in it without hesitation. 

It's a bit of an open ended question but here's my take. In short, I'd say that finding passion can be thought of in  terms of finding love. You aren't born with secret passions that you need to discover (just like you are not born with a soulmate somewhere on the planet that you need to go find), but you are born with a plethora of natural tendencies and curiosities that when explored, can develop to a passion (just like you have natural 'turn ons' that attract you to certain people, and during dating can develop to

I think I will  just ask myself what's you like to do if A)Money and B) Limitations C) Fear were no problem. Then do that/those things. Most people have multiple things.

 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Someone here Again you fail because you are not finding passion and love in yourself thats why finding passion out there is tough because theres no passion in you! But you made good points pointing you out on blindspots...ask yourself what you would like to become then from there comes what to do again trying to go outside yourself...

Ask yourself what i am all about  then write it down and from there create experience you need to seek for that individual you made for yourself and have to follow it through because you have a rule...