Terror after Leo's Guided Exercise For Realizing You Are God

[Rob06]

On 18-7-2022 at 11:52 AM, Someone here said:

personally suffer from a slew of brain disorders..including an anxiety disorder, likely OCD and generalized anxiety, a depressive disorder, and then a dissociative disorder as well. and so I can very confidently say that I am mentally ill. In fact, two summers ago I suffered the onset of what I would now call a psychotic episode, which was based entirely around the idea that I was the only being that existed and nothing else. However, the beginning of this psychosis was also marked by the onset of the dissociative disorder I suffer from, which is classified as depersonalization/derealization disorder. Similar to a psychotic disorder like schizophrenia, this particular dissociative disorder causes the sufferer to feel as if they themselves are not real, the environment in which they exist is not real, and..as relates to you and me..other people. However, the reason why I personally claim that I suffered a psychosis alongside the onset of this illness is because those who suffer from a dissociative disorder know that what they feel is not real, that it is merely a sensation. When these sensations and experiences began for me, I did not have enough self-awareness to know them to be only sensations, so I logically concluded that I was lost in the matrix or something, and that everything I was living was merely an illusion. It was truly awful to think that way, especially because I didn’t even think to seek help when the therapist I could see would just be another made-up figment of my imagination. 

I think these are very important points which should not be taken lightly. If you actually suffer from (some of) these illnesses, advanced spiritual material might not be for you in this stage of your development. Focus on healing these diseases if possible, and/or coping with them at best as possible first. Maybe this is obvious, but I'd rather state the obvious than see you getting hurt. 

Here's a video from Shinzen Young on the difference between Enlightenment and its "evil twin" depersonalization-derealization disorderthat might be helpful .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zIKQCwDXsA

[Someone here]

@Rob06 @Rob06 thank you 

[OBEler]

Many people here suffer from derealization. Derealization has a strong connection to the material solipsism view and is a mental illness which is based on fear. A Coping Mechanism from the ego. 

Hope you can get help

[Razard86]

....here we go again.

You aren't suffering anything but your perspective. Derealization is the FEAR of what you know is true. Everything you said of being the only thing that is here, and that everything you see is illusion IS TRUE. The quote on quote mental disorder is the belief that is somehow bad. As long as you believe it is bad, you suffer. That's it!! 

The moment you realize how wonderful it is that it is an illusion you can't suffer it anymore.

1. You stop taking life so seriously, its a freaking illusion.

2. You stop judging it, because its illusionary.

3. You realize it is meaningless, so you can give it WHATEVER MEANING YOU WANT.

4. Because it is an illusion you are totally free, that is true freedom because it is not real!!

5. You are in the greatest virtual reality ever created, if I made a virtual reality that was very real you wouldn't suffer because you know it is illusionary. If you could apply the same perspective to what you call your life...then no more suffering. But you can't, you don't want your entire life to be an illusion. That scares you, which means you are still too attached, and you still think your ego is you. This also means you are very selfish and care too much about your fake identity that you think is you. 

[OBEler]

@Razard86 derealization is not the fear of knowing whats true. It is a coping Mechanism which prevents you from getting traumatized. For Example you really got shocked (car accident). Derealization helps you to feel dream like and overcome the situation. 

 

 

You stop taking life so seriously? You still need to live in this World and survive. Thats still a lot of suffering. And suffering is real, because you experience it as suffering

Edited July 19, 2022 by OBEler

[preventingdiabetes]

On 7/18/2022 at 8:58 PM, michaelcycle00 said:

What I have a problem with is my bubble of consciousness being ALL that there is.

Why is it a problem for you?

[amanen]

I dont think you would have a problem with it if you actually awakened to solipsism, instead of watching videos and conceptualizing about it.

When you understand that none of it is real, everything can indeed feel 'fake'.

I mean if there is nobody else having their own experiences, then it is true that everything you hear that wasnt directly experienced are just stories that did not happen. It took me some time to actually start enjoying this kind of perspective, but it is possible to do. You can still connect with others even though it is imaginary.

[Leo Gura]

You must let the beauty of consciousness penetrate you.

If you are not overjoyed with your own consciousness then it's not awakening.

The highest consciousness is so delighted in itself it is in endless joy. God needs nothing outside itself to be endlessly happy and satisfied.

If you feel incomplete or something is bugging you -- if lack of other is bugging you -- that just means a serious lack of consciousness. So you ain't done with the work.

Awakening is the realization of Absolute Perfection. Nothing at all is wrong or missing.

A hallmark of full awakening is zero fear. You are too conscious to fear anything.

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

You must let the beauty of consciousness penetrate you.

If you are not overjoyed with your own consciousness then it's not awakening.

The highest consciousness is so delighted in itself it is in endless joy. God needs nothing outside itself to be endlessly happy and satisfied.

If you feel incomplete or something is bugging you -- if lack of other is bugging you -- that just means a serious lack of consciousness. So you ain't done with the work.

Awakening is the realization of Absolute Perfection. Nothing at all is wrong or missing.

A hallmark of full awakening is zero fear. You are too conscious to fear anything.

Great. Awakening is the best business. If I compare my life today with that of a year ago... the difference is beyond any forecast. I'm not going to go into whether I'm awake or not. Before, I thought I had a good life more or less. it was absolute misery. my mind was a wasteland of anxiety. I know I can wake up much deeper, and here I go. not to do so is to be a complete retard. I see people and I think: you guys are crazy. your idiocy is amazing. do what is necessary. get out of mind. glory is at hand. it is total perfection, total cleanliness, total happiness. there is no other way. the rest are traps. fear must be transcended. the person must awake or his life will be misery. There are no medium points.

[Ry4n]

On 18/7/2022 at 7:49 PM, Leo Gura said:

If you have an actual full-blown God-Realization you will not be disappointed with anything.

Just trust me on that

Your disappointments and regrets tell you that that's not it. That's not God.

God will not disappoint you.

You cannot imagine how good it is.

God will not disappoint you.

It’s sad to people who haven’t experienced infinite consciousness, believing their finite mind is all there is; that’s what OP clearly believes.  
 

Is Aloneness as infinite potentiality the aloneness the human animal is truly fearing? Or is that fear merely an obstacle the human animal has to go through to experience infinity? 
 

All of dualistic existence is a narrative, it appears solipsism is also a narrative regarding the human animal who doesn’t even (ultimately) exist in the first place. 
 

Lots more to unpack regarding people’s confusion and the sources of it, helps everyone. 

Edited July 20, 2022 by Ry4n

[Ry4n]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

If you feel incomplete or something is bugging you -- if lack of other is bugging you -- that just means a serious lack of consciousness. So you ain't done with the work.

A finite mind that’s stuck in its own head. Alone as the only human being stuck inside his/her brain. That’s actually what’s terrifying people, and is clearly incorrect. 

[Ry4n]

Think of it like this: The single eye of God manifests infinite narratives. 
 

And also non-duality is only a half-truth, many people on this forum are yet to accept that Non-duality and even God realisation are the beginning of spirituality, where subsequently one approaches the spiritual validity of the narratives that spring from this ground of being, that spirituality is so much more broad and deep than just oneness. It’s so multilayered, it is infinite after all, no?

[Razard86]

15 hours ago, OBEler said:

@Razard86 derealization is not the fear of knowing whats true. It is a coping Mechanism which prevents you from getting traumatized. For Example you really got shocked (car accident). Derealization helps you to feel dream like and overcome the situation. 

 

 

You stop taking life so seriously? You still need to live in this World and survive. Thats still a lot of suffering. And suffering is real, because you experience it as suffering

Suffering is not real, if you believe suffering is real then it is real. They literally have meditation practices you can learn to create a space between pain and you won't feel it directly. There are even practices to get rid of physical pain altogether. Again whatever you believe about reality will be true for you. 

Derealization IS the fear of what is true. You are scared because everything feels fake and you feel alone. BOTH are true. You are the only being that exists and everything is an illusion.

https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/mental-derealization-overview#:~:text=Derealization is a mental state,reality once in their lifetime.

All these things are true, but you are afraid to accept them. The defense mechanism is the Ego doesn't want to believe it because it means the Ego is illusionary and it doesn't like it.

[OBEler]

@Razard86 in the link you Posted derealization is described exactly as I said, a coping Mechanism for traumatic experiences:

"The most common event that can trigger derealization is emotional abuse or neglect at a young age. The experience prompts the child to detach from their surroundings as a way to manage the trauma." 

Traumatic experiences have nothing to do with being afraid of truth. You dont get derealized because of truth. You get derealized because of Stress Management. 

You could also watching a movie about sadistic murdering of a Baby which is just fiction and you can get derealized after watching this. So this has nothing to do with running away from truth but from too much Stress. 

 

"Suffering is not real, if you believe suffering is real then it is real." thats what I mean. For most people suffering is therefore real. Dont say it is not real when its real for most. 

 

Edited July 20, 2022 by OBEler

[billiesimon]

14 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You must let the beauty of consciousness penetrate you.

If you are not overjoyed with your own consciousness then it's not awakening.

The highest consciousness is so delighted in itself it is in endless joy. God needs nothing outside itself to be endlessly happy and satisfied.

I have a real question from my own personal practice (I tend to practice and contemplate daily). 

Is it normal to feel mindfucked or lost in a sense of void after 3+ years of practice? I also use psychedelics once every 2-3 months and got several Infinity and unconditional love glimpses. 

But I'm talking about sober states. 

I also get several timelessness small glimpses while sober and walking alone in the park, where time seems to have never existed for small moments (paradox). Or other times I have to ask myself what's my human identity because I start to feel merged with the flow of the present. 

Sometimes I look at a water glass (or random object) and it starts to feel like it's the only thing in existence. Just for a minute or two. 

Because before consciousness work I never had these moments of sober mindfuck, and they started to appear more and more frequently. Now I can get them almost everyday. 

Is this spiritual progress or a psychological problem? I feel deeply confused in my consciousness recently. 

[Vision]

19 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

A hallmark of full awakening is zero fear. You are too conscious to fear anything.

What are the best practices to get to the point where you don’t fear anything? Or at least reduce your fear?

I have a lot of anxiety which causes lots of suffering. Anxiety stems from fear. 

[Razard86]

On 7/20/2022 at 10:39 AM, OBEler said:

@Razard86 in the link you Posted derealization is described exactly as I said, a coping Mechanism for traumatic experiences:

"The most common event that can trigger derealization is emotional abuse or neglect at a young age. The experience prompts the child to detach from their surroundings as a way to manage the trauma." 

Traumatic experiences have nothing to do with being afraid of truth. You dont get derealized because of truth. You get derealized because of Stress Management. 

You could also watching a movie about sadistic murdering of a Baby which is just fiction and you can get derealized after watching this. So this has nothing to do with running away from truth but from too much Stress. 

 

"Suffering is not real, if you believe suffering is real then it is real." thats what I mean. For most people suffering is therefore real. Dont say it is not real when its real for most. 

 

You really do not understand. 

 

It's literally called Derealization. The belief that everything is fake. Fearing things are fake is fear of the truth because everything is fake.

True Fear is the belief that you are finite, which is still fear of truth, because when you face death you realize you cannot die. The reason God put fear into the design of life is to trick itself. So all fear is just avoidance of absolute truth. Its rather simple. Its plain its obvious. The fact that you are debating this is literally proof right now of this fact. 

Your whole life is just a controlled well made hallucination. All fear stems from waking up and realizing this.

 

Edited July 22, 2022 by Razard86

[Leo Gura]

On 7/20/2022 at 5:28 PM, billiesimon said:

Is this spiritual progress or a psychological problem?

Definitely progress.

But you have a lot deeper to go.

On 7/20/2022 at 5:28 PM, billiesimon said:

I feel deeply confused in my consciousness recently.

That's just part pf this process.

Remember how confused you were about math as a kid.

Well, spirituality is more difficult than advanced math.

[Leo Gura]

On 7/20/2022 at 10:15 PM, Vision said:

What are the best practices to get to the point where you don’t fear anything? Or at least reduce your fear?

I have a lot of anxiety which causes lots of suffering. Anxiety stems from fear. 

Sorry to sound like a broken record but:

• High doses of psychedelics
• Exposing yourself to massive and diverse life experience
• Facing the things you fear, looking them deep in the eyes

It's not complicated but it also isn't easy.

[billiesimon]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Definitely progress.

But you have a lot deeper to go.

That's just part pf this process.

Remember how confused you were about math as a kid.

Well, spirituality is more difficult than advanced math.

Thanks, at least I'm not psychotic

Before spiritual practice my life was quite anxious but made a lot of sense, it was just normal human life. 

Now there are moments of normal anxious human life, and moments where my memories are just a fictional story. Of course there is no God recognition, I'm too newbie, but anxiety/monkey mind is replaced with deep mystery and time suspension. 

It depends on the quality of the day. Peaceful days are more mysterious and time-warped. Stressful days make me dive deep into my human identity and story.