Can you tell if a man has sexually assaulted a woman in the past?

[RendHeaven]

Just now, Devin said:

I don't think women are as fragile as reading that sounds to me.

Not just women - all human beings with relationship needs are truly fragile.

That's not a bad thing. Fragility has its silent boons.

I just write like this to remind us of what it takes to find and maintain a stellar relationship.

It's a big trap IMO to think that thriving relationships are not a skill - to think that they'll somehow be easy and without challenge.

[Devin]

9 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

Not just women - all human beings with relationship needs are truly fragile.

That's not a bad thing. Fragility has its silent boons.

I just write like this to remind us of what it takes to find and maintain a stellar relationship.

It's a big trap IMO to think that thriving relationships are not a skill - to think that they'll somehow be easy and without challenge.

Yeah, skill, work, forgiveness, self sacrifice; none of which are too hard once you understand though.

I don't think that's uncommon among men.

Edited July 19, 2022 by Devin

[RendHeaven]

2 minutes ago, Devin said:

What you're describing is like Christ dying on the cross though. You're right I can't think of many guys like that, and the ones that I do are the ones who's wives cheat on them and leave them.

Haha yeah, becoming a man with no relationship needs is a grueling, lonely quest, and it's not for the majority of people. So the majority of women will not find someone like this in their lifetime. But, I mentioned it anyway because it is possible!

For most people it's a better path to accept that you have needs, and to learn to communicate them maturely.

[Devin]

33 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

Haha yeah, becoming a man with no relationship needs is a grueling, lonely quest, and it's not for the majority of people. So the majority of women will not find someone like this in their lifetime. But, I mentioned it anyway because it is possible!

For most people it's a better path to accept that you have needs, and to learn to communicate them maturely.

Wouldn't the woman feel unneeded? That's often a big issue.

I think our needs compliment each other, men like to give women what they need. But that is a need on the side of the man, if a man doesn't feel that he is he will despise the relationship. And a woman needs to feel that the man has that need, we call all of this love?

I'm not sure what type of needs you're talking about giving up, but if a woman NEEDS something, every man likes to play the shining knight and sacrifice an arm or leg let alone a need. The problem is SOME men don't yet know the needs of women and many women won't initiate verbal communication about them.

Edited July 19, 2022 by Devin

[RendHeaven]

1 minute ago, Devin said:

Wouldn't the woman feel unneeded?

A strong woman desires to feel wanted, not needed

[Devin]

57 minutes ago, RendHeaven said:

A strong woman desires to feel wanted, not needed

?

Now you have me all screwed up, I don't think a strong woman desires to be wanted. I think most women do though.

In a relationship I mean feeling needed, not during initial attraction. I think I've known strong women and they love being needed, not in a desperate need sort of way but a part of the team sort of way.

I'm not saying you're wrong by the way, I would if I was sure, I'm curious.

Edited July 19, 2022 by Devin

[universe]

Now where they drunk or sober? Can't be both.

Sleeping next to a guy or going in the bathroom with a guy are not signs for "I want to sleep for you" but they are also not a sign for "I do not want to sleep with you".

If you ever find yourself in the same situation make your intentions very clear.

As for how to tell if a man has done it before I am not sure. If it is your boyfriend you are worried about I would just ask him.

[Devin]

4 hours ago, universe said:

Now where they drunk or sober? Can't be both.

Sleeping next to a guy or going in the bathroom with a guy are not signs for "I want to sleep for you" but they are also not a sign for "I do not want to sleep with you".

If you ever find yourself in the same situation make your intentions very clear.

As for how to tell if a man has done it before I am not sure. If it is your boyfriend you are worried about I would just ask him.

I'd reread some of the details

[flowboy]

On 18/07/2022 at 11:06 PM, RendHeaven said:

Being right isn't always worth the emphasis

Damn that's eloquent