Need advice for nightgame in loud clubs

[Illusory Self]

Went out last night and probably did like 20-25 approaches but a majority of them was in a nightclub where the girls are with there friends and the music is super loud.

Some observations I made are that a lot of girls are initially attracted to me but I would open on the dance floor and my mind would just run out of things to say or the girl would find it hard to hear me. What is worse is that I found it extremely hard to hear the girl. 

I kind of felt like when I opened on the dance floor, it killed the vibe. I would hook some girls but then get very lost with what to do after or how to even continue the conversation. My mind just naturally was resorting to very boring questions. 

The summary of this is that I found it incredibly challenging trying to pickup girls at a super loud night club, should I just try to focus on doing physicality for dance floor game and not really talk? 

I also usually play it safe in most sets and just get the number, don't know how to lead sexually or stay with the girl the night

It's like I typically open in the nightclub and my mind is like shit, "What do I say now?". I'm afraid of opening physically without words but that might be better. 

Edited July 16, 2022 by Illusory Self

[something_else]

12 minutes ago, Illusory Self said:

Some observations I made are that a lot of girls are initially attracted to me but I would open on the dance floor and my mind would just run out of things to say or the girl would find it hard to hear me. What is worse is that I found it extremely hard to hear the girl. 

You shouldn't really be talking on the dance floor. The dance floor is for dancing. If you wanna talk you take her somewhere else in the club where it's quieter

[Vercingetorix]

When you speak to her lean over and talk to her ear, very close, with your hand - Like you would speak to a friend in a noisy place or whisper to someone. 

[Mada_]

Dance floors are tricky. 

I've heard of people just dancing and having a good time, then opening a girl by saying something random like "these are my signature moves" to a girl, then keeping dancing, opening with a similar thing a minute or so later. 

Kino is probably better when it is super loud tbh, probably the one place in the world where heavy escalation is appropriate. 

 

Maybe look at some infield dance floor game. 

[Leo Gura]

1) Yes, the louder it is, the more physical game is necessary and effective.

2) But you can also train yourself to just speak louder and hear better.

3) Practice your verbal game and not running out of things to say in quieter environments. So then you can transfer that skill to loud places. Running out of things to say is not a loudness problem, it's a verbal game problem. I bet you'll run out of things to say even in a library. So don't blame that on the loudness.

4) If you open on the dance floor, open physically with great eye contact etc, dance for a bit, and then pull her off the floor to a quieter area to talk and build a connection. It's just the inverse of a typical approach, where you talk first and then pull to dance floor after you've built a connection.

[Bird Larry]

physical game, body language. Body language is important 

[Vrubel]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

3) Practice your verbal game and not running out of things to say in quieter environments. So then you can transfer that skill to loud places. Running out of things to say is not a loudness problem, it's a verbal game problem. I bet you'll run out of things to say even in a library. So don't blame that on the loudness.

I think most PUA's are overdoing this. I recently went out with my old PUA coach (not paid but just as buddies). And I was shocked at how try-hard and cringy he seemed when he kept persisting by constantly coming up with new things to say. He has spent years training this talking skill but I noticed how inauthentic it was to him. He is generally a "successful" PUA and I learned a lot from him but in my opinion, is a more silent "energy/chemistry focused game" way superior to constantly speaking. Also, I just don't believe in persistence on girls that are not open/interested. 

[Leo Gura]

You need to be able to hold a long conversation. This is fundamental to having game. This will be one of the biggest factors to you getting laid.

If you cannot hold a 45 min conversation, you can forget about getting laid with any consistency.

[Joel3102]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

You need to be able to hold a long conversation. This is fundamental to having game. This will be one of the biggest factors to you getting laid.

Do you have any tips on how to become less logical? I’m increasingly realising being logical is the main impediment to charisma and game

[Leo Gura]

Just now, Joel3102 said:

Do you have any tips on how to become less logical? I’m increasingly realising being logical is the main impediment to charisma and game

See video: How To Be Funny

[Superfluo]

@Joel3102 The key is to be relaxed. If you're not relaxed everything else will be useless. The problem then becomes how to be relaxed if you're chronically tense?

[StarStruck]

You don’t trust your intuition because you think you are lame. So first you need to fix your self esteem and self image by accepting yourself. And after that you need to learn to trust your own lead and intuition. Why would she trust you when you don’t trust yourself? It is not about being funny or whatever. It is biology 101. She has to know you trust yourself before she can trust you. Stop wasting time on bullshit and work on your deeper stuff. The funniness, charisma, jest, sway, set of balls and other things will come naturally when you develop a character. 

Edited July 21, 2022 by StarStruck

[Illusory Self]

54 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

You don’t trust your intuition because you think you are lame. So first you need to fix your self esteem and self image by accepting yourself. And after that you need to learn to trust your own lead and intuition. Why would she trust you when you don’t trust yourself? It is not about being funny or whatever. It is biology 101. She has to know you trust yourself before she can trust you. Stop wasting time on bullshit and work on your deeper stuff. The funniness, charisma, jest, sway, set of balls and other things will come naturally when you develop a character. 

@StarStruck

I don't trust myself. I am afraid of saying the wrong thing incase of rejection. Afraid of making the wrong move. I get negative thoughts when interacting with woman. I am in my head way to much, unable to speak naturally or authentically. Primarily there is a huge underlying fear of pleasing the other to the expense of my own happiness. It sometimes feels like I have a dysfunctional ego. I can easily get attraction from women buy my physical appearance but they tend to often reject me, even after sex. That hurts the most. I can get a lot of dates but as you said, it is more of an inner game problem and having no character. 

How do I develop character? How do I trust my intuition and lead? 

I'm way too much in my head when going on dates, doing cold approaches ect... Don't actually improve me because my inner self is not improving. I'm still the same fragile inner self. 

I even get afraid of texting a women, knowing the correct thing to say. Oh what if I mess up or say the incorrect thing

Edited July 21, 2022 by Illusory Self

[StarStruck]

@Illusory Self the last thing you need to do is be a dancing funny clown/monkey. People will see through that veil. You need to develop realness.

1. Get rid of your trauma energy. Because you are not yourself because of disowned parts. You could do shadow work. 
2. After you need to know who you are and who you are not. Have an open mind and get to know yourself better. When you know yourself you will know what to say and trust your instincts and intuition. 
    
3. Stop thinking what other people think. You are not 12 anymore. You don’t need confirmation. You seek it and that makes you unattractive. Just trying to be funny to get confirmation will screw you up. Give confirmation to yourself. Find out what you enjoy and what you like, regardless of what girls or other people think.