1g Shrooms trip report. Goodness. Love. God. Self.

[Alta]

First I really want to thank Leo for everything he does, hands down the most important and life changing person for me. And also everyone on this forum cuz reading your advises helped me a lot. Thank you all. Rewatching Leo's older videos after the trip where he smiles (at least sometimes) brings me happiness. Smile people. 
Everything with "-" in the beginning are my notes from the recording during the trip

I took only 1g of shrooms at 1:30 am and then decided to make myself even more comfy by bringing my mattress on the floor.
I was expecting for the effects to show themselves in more than one hour but I already started tripping before I managed to lay the mattress on the floor.

2:20 am
- Why do people always DO something, and it seems as if they never BE, cuz being is SO much easier... doing feels so damn haaard
I was standing trying to figure out what I have to do with that mattress that stood tall beside me, but as I said, doing something felt much more difficult compared to being, so I just sat down.
- I feel so good, It feels like I got even higher than on 1.5 shrooms (and here reality decided to play a funny joke on me) 
^^ I said this sentence in russian so instead of "I got even higher" I said "меня еще мощнее накрыло" and "накрыло" literally translates as "covered" so the moment I said that, the mattress almost fell on me but stopped just above my head because of the wall, and there I was, covered by the mattress laughing that I got covered in both ways. 

Considering that I wasnt able to lay down the mattress in the beginning, there was no chance I could do that now. So I sat below the mattress as if it was my roof, noticing that I had a desire to rub my head against its soft material. I felt love towards it.
- For some reason I love this mattress... and for some reason it loves me back. 
- I dont understand
I questioned the reasons why I felt love towards it for five minutes and in fact the journey with this mattress continued for good 20 minutes where I tapped into feminine and masculine energies. In short, feminine energy loved and allowed the mattress to cover me, and masculine energy decided to place the mattress properly.

3:00 am 
I covered my eyes with blindfold 
- Who am I? 

I sat there only for a minute until I got scared a little because my senses started to lose touch with reality (thats probably how sensory deprivation tank feels)
I made a weird sound in awe of the sheer power of psychedelics
- this shit is powerful (then I understood that I had to continue)
- I'm sorry 

I continued to explore the darkness for the truth 
10 minutes pass. I started mildly hallucinating. Before the last click as I heard gibberish talk in which I recognized Rupert Spira and someone else. They told me the truth and then bam there is no self. 

- There is no self...
- Wait there literally is no self... its such an illusion 
- It... It makes sense of reality 
- And by reality... its consciousness... it just is. And that IS, is so magnificent... its so damn big
- Wait... is it actually the case... God... dumbed himself down (at this point im mind blown, and breathing hard)
- To not see that he is God
Now something started to confuse me (because ego started to come back)
- oooh you little b... hahaha
- Wait, how, I just saw through the illusion
- Now thats funny isn't it?
- but wait, there is I that is present anyways
I started laughing outloud at the funny experience of seeing through ego and seeing it come back, its just so funny I dont know how to describe it in other way. The fact that I saw that there is no self and got an answer, but then ego comes back and asks "Am I going to be left with no asnwers?" is so hilarious 
- its soo stupid... I just saw the answer but then... I (started dying of laughter)
- now the self will try to question the experience of no-self and... what the fuck its just funny hahaah
- it just doesnt make any sense 
- There is no self, but there is I

- My job is just to be aware, and ego's job is to make sense of everything, to not go insane
- human life is just a trip for God, for him to explore itself
- thats also why we fall in love with someone
- I understand that there is no-self now BUT THEN... there is something MORE

For some reason my name came into my mind out of nowhere... I decided to go with it and started saying it outloud 
the only question that I asked was where do I begin and where do I end?
- So wait... less self is... what? Less self is better... wait... less self is better to whom? Whaaat
- From which place was I speaking?
- E V E R Y T H I N G I S A S E L F
- Who said that? 

I've been silent for 20 minutes 
- I see a path to infinity... wait
- the moment you try to grasp it you lose it 
- Infinity. Infinity. Бесконечность. Infinity. its infinite. Uncaged. Im soaked in it
I decided to list infinities. I started with infinite delusion and then out of nowhere I said infinite... love?

I sat in silence contemplating what it means.
(in my head) - Love=understanding. Understanding=knowing
- BUT THAT MEANS ITS ME
- I am... Love
I started crying laughing uncontrollably
- I...am...Love... 
- Its just too much
- thats what God is (screaming) what the fucckk (almost choked laughing)
- Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness (the moment I realized what I was saying it clicked that God is also Absolute Goodness
Then I spent 5 minutes staring at my hands in awe

I'm glad reality got my back and I decided to go with 1gram of this stuff. Powerful as hell 
Integration time. Love you all. Peace.



 

[Razard86]

Beautiful post. Yes Reality got your back because its you!! We can submit to reality because it is us. Thank you for sharing this.

[Alta]

@Razard86 Thank you. I've always had this feeling that everything happens for a reason. And now its so clear that everything that has happened in my life has lead up to this

[Matthew85]

@Alta Fantastic report! Appreciate you sharing it. 

[gettoefl]

am crying, thank you ... for some reason 3 songs sprang to mind as i read

bless you for sharing this uplifting word with me

 

 

 

 

[Leo Gura]

Good work

[Rob06]

Thanks for sharing, awesome!