Game has nothing to do with women!

[NoSelfSelf]

Its all about who you are to yourself,what belief you have in yourself,what you created for yourself and how you communicate to yourself etc. and then you express it as it is...

Its all manifested when you come in front of a woman if theres fear,doubt,confusion its because you losing yourself in the woman not yourself!, or you havent had yourself in the first place...dont know what you are about ,didnt define yourself...

Getting all excited seeing her and thinking omg shes hot! you dont see you just make her the focus and not you, so you are out of the game immedietly lost in limbo...

Thoughts? What would you say whats game about?

[Realms of Wonder]

Love this perspective, its like the women, is a mirror for our inner world! Feeling needy, doubt and confusing, that is a reflection of myself, it has very little to do with her. 

 

 

[Thought Art]

Go get direct experience don't ask us (: 

Edited July 12, 2022 by Thought Art

[NoSelfSelf]

@Realms of Wonder Yeah shes influenced by who you are in that moment if you manipulate you are losing  because trying to hit the jackpot aka being needy and desperate?

@Thought Art Point is to see different perspectives because i think this is the best one...

[Thought Art]

@NoSelfSelf Yeah, It's really about you, but also you emotional intelligence.

There is probably.. an almost friction between you and her? You may have good game, but she may not be attracted. It may be a roll of the dice combined with what you said above.

[Breakingthewall]

There is no game, just enjoy the presence of a girl, enjoy that moment, make a connection, and see what happens. the process is the goal

[Jacob Morres]

I appreciate this perspective 

Game could even just be a process of self development, the process of mastery, finding cool people to connect and vibe with, living out your values etc. 

[aurum]

@NoSelfSelf I don’t think you’re wrong, I just think there’s a lot more nuance to be added.

It’s overly simplistic to say that game is just about your inner beliefs and emotions. While technically accurate, we have to understand what a theoretical statement like that actually means and looks like IRL.

Otherwise, it’s easily misinterpreted.

You might think that having low self-esteem would stop you from getting laid a lot. That’s sort of what is sold to guys by more benevolent dating coaches. They basically convince you that higher self-esteem = more girls. Therefore, you are motivated to actually go and work on that. Which is good.

But it’s not the full picture.

The guys I know who get laid the most are often at the bottom tier of being psychologically healthy. These are guys who have probably laid at least 100+ women in their life, or are on their way there. And they’re usually pretty obviously damaged.

Sometimes they break out of that mode and heal, but the reverse almost never happens. I almost never see a guy heal and THEN go have sex with 100+ women. He’s too fulfilled to value doing that.

Of course if you have no confidence or sense of competency with women, that will be a barrier. And you’ll need to work on that. But that mostly just comes from experience and repetition.

You can bang a lot of women and still be very broken. You do not need to be this super self-actualized individual for women to be interested in sleeping with you.

This is NOT to say that you shouldn’t continue working on healing and self-esteem. Or that guys with high self-esteem can’t get laid or it never helps them. Self-esteem can be extremely valuable in a long term relationship and will add to your life overall in a very positive way. There is a gray area where dating and self-improvement overlap.

But that work should be grounded in proper expectations, not fantasies about becoming some enlightened MPUA. 

Edited July 13, 2022 by aurum

[Realms of Wonder]

28 minutes ago, aurum said:

@NoSelfSelf I don’t think you’re wrong, I just think there’s a lot more nuance to be added.

It’s overly simplistic to say that game is just about your inner beliefs and emotions. While technically accurate, we have to understand what a theoretical statement like that actually means and looks like IRL.

Otherwise, it’s easily misinterpreted.

You might think that having low self-esteem would stop you from getting laid a lot. That’s sort of what is sold to guys in by more benevolent dating coaches. They basically convince you that higher self-esteem = more girls. Therefore, you are motivated to actually go and work on that. Which is good.

But it’s not the full picture.

The guys I know who get laid the most are often at the bottom tier of being psychologically healthy. These are guys who have probably laid at least 100+ in their life, or are on their way there. And they’re usually pretty obviously damaged.

Sometimes they break out of that mode and heal, but the reverse almost never happens. I almost never see a guy heal and THEN go have sex with 100+ women. He’s too fulfilled to value doing that.

Of course if you have no confidence or sense of competency with women, that will be a barrier. And you’ll need to work on that. But that mostly just comes from experience and repetition.

You can bang a lot of women and still be very broken. You do not need to be this super self-actualized individual for women to be interested in sleeping with you.

This is NOT to say that you shouldn’t continue working on healing and self-esteem. Or that guys with high self-esteem can’t get laid or it never helps them. Self-esteem can be extremely valuable in a long term relationship and will add to your life overall in a very positive way. There is a gray area where dating and self-improvement overlap.

But that work should be grounded in proper expectations, not fantasies about becoming some enlightened MPUA. 

Thank you for sharing that perspective! I really love that you are willing to explain more of the nuances here. Valuable insight.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Breakingthewall thats a recipe for a girl to run game on you there is nothing up to a chance alot of wasting time and being a doormat followong what you said...

@aurum i said something more deeper than that you missed the whole point ? and getting laid alot doesnt mean you have game i mean you can have alot of money how did you get it? Selling drugs ?

[Jodistrict]

Think of when you were a child.   You would go up to a strange  girl and it was fun and exciting.   If you now see this as something scary, then you have been traumatized on the way to becoming an adult.  You now know what your blocks are and what to work on.   You don't have to learn "game", you have to unlearn your false assumptions. 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Jodistrict unlearning false assumptions is part of the game actually coming back to yourself that is not influenced by outside forces...

[Breakingthewall]

4 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

thats a recipe for a girl to run game on you there is nothing up to a chance alot of wasting time and being a doormat followong what you said

I don't think so, If you really enjoy the presence, the erotic charge will be in the environment. you will be talking to her and your dick will be hard and you will be thinking about sticking your tongue in her mouth, but in a state of relaxing. if that energy is created, the thing happens effortlessly. If there is no such energy, why try? Try when the thing isn't real is the recipe to be ridiculous 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Breakingthewall So you are present with her and everything falls in the place everything goes where you want it to go? Isnt that also game ?

[Breakingthewall]

@NoSelfSelfWell, maybe I'm not sure what "game" means here. if you mean to create a situation where things flow, then yes, I agree. But imo often it's impossible, but because me , no feeling . 

Edited July 13, 2022 by Breakingthewall

[Globalcollective]

@NoSelfSelf This is cool man, I once had an insane trip which  should me the love of my life, then I was transported straight into the god head where it downloaded every single lesson ever learned about human relationships and it could all be summed up by one sentence. "Just focus on the reality not the fantasy". Was so simple yet so profound and ever since it has always played out to be true. 

I guess it was showing me how this "love of my life" was meanly just a projection in my head keeping me from actually finding true love in the moment. 

[Phil777]

It's all inner game. How do you frame the situation, what's your agenda and how do you feel. This is so important. How do you feel, what's your energy.

[aurum]

21 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

i said something more deeper than that you missed the whole point ?

Which was?

21 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

and getting laid alot doesnt mean you have game i mean you can have alot of money how did you get it? Selling drugs ?

Then how are you defining game?

When most guys talk about game, they’re speaking about talking / interacting with women in a way where they find you attractive and are interested in some sort of non-platonic relationship.

“Getting laid a lot” would certainly fall under that category. Although it’s a limited view of what game can be. I acknowledge that.

[NoSelfSelf]

5 hours ago, aurum said:

Which was?

Then how are you defining game?

 

Game as i defined it is who you are to yourself, your own creation thats not influenced by anyone, 100% focus on yourself and now creation from there(not easy to make that shift)

5 hours ago, aurum said:

 

 of how you gonna move ,talk, be how you gonna make her smile etc. is up to you and what makes you wanna express it...this eliminates woman as a goal to get, this eliminates desperation neediness trying to beg for sex,manipulation...this is where you dont look what should i do and be for a woman and pedestalizing her like shes your god... thats my understanding still learning...

You made strike 1 of a game talking about other guys(100 focus on yourself ?)

I mean how did you get those girls did you take her on 5 expensive dinners did you treat her like princess and she gave you because to keep you stimulated so she can use you...

You could be on parties and girls just wanna have sex and you happen to be there...

I know guys that have absolute zero game and got laid because of situations they got themselves in ...

You could manipulate like a narcissis and get laid hope you get the point...

[Pavement]

Lol course it does. If women didn’t exist would you bother learning game? 
But actually, its also about men and proving yourself to other men, even more so perhaps.