When are we indecisive?

[PacoLeone]

I was watching one of the latest Leo's video "How To Become Decisive" and it was really inspiring. I am a really indecisive person, from the micro to the macro, this video trigger my motivation to study better the details of the decision process and what blocks me from deciding.  

So, I was recalling some memories in order to find some situation in which I was very indecisive.  

Just to take a simple example, last year I went on holiday with my usual friends and got really bored. Every year it's the same holiday, we get up late, go to the beach and drink until late night. This routine is repeated almost every day.  

As far as I remember, before I decided to go with them I was wondering if I should go on a solo trip but the idea rapidly dissolved.  I have never engaged in a research of possible solo trip or what was my deepest desire, so I waited until all the other organized the holiday and I joined them. The moral to me looks like as Leo said, even not choosing is a choice.

But from my point of view there is no indecision, we are just not sensitive or brave to sense our deepest desire and we don't want to spend time or energy in taking a deep decision. 

 So I think there are just two decision:

1. lazy and scared type ( what we usually call indecision)
2. energetic, brave and sensitive type (deep decision).

What do you think about?  Did you notice other features that characterize indecision? 

[Thought Art]

I like it. Could probably be expanded to meet more nuances but.. seems okay to me at this moment.

[hyruga]

6 hours ago, PacoLeone said:

 

energetic, brave and sensitive type (deep decision).

 

I wouldn't call some decision brave and sensitive type. For example, base jumping or road racing is dangerous. It does not really require deep thinking. Some people just do it for the moment or to show off.

And when people are fearful, they can be sensitive to others' feelings as well. So lazy or fearful decision could be because of sensitivity.

I think we are indecisive because we are not bored enough. "Let's go to ABC" "Whatever" If you are truly bored of that place, you would say "No, I don't want to go there"

[PacoLeone]

 

7 hours ago, hyruga said:

I wouldn't call some decision brave and sensitive type. For example, base jumping or road racing is dangerous. It does not really require deep thinking. Some people just do it for the moment or to show off.

Yeah I partly agree, maybe it depends on my idea of bravery. I make a simple example, if I decide to settle down in a city and not travel around the world, I don't think I am a fearful person. Maybe I was sensitive to the desire of having a family.  

In this context you are brave because you have to bravery to look into yourself, feel what is important to you and going through it. I am using this definition since I usually don't do this.

 

7 hours ago, hyruga said:

And when people are fearful, they can be sensitive to others' feelings as well. So lazy or fearful decision could be because of sensitivity.

You are right, it was too semplicistic my description. Maybe if you have conflicting feeling on a certain topic, in order to make a decision you have to check your top values.  

Suppose you have to choose between a job in your hometown or abroad. Maybe you find more interesting the job in the other country but it's been an emotionally tough year, so you'd rather to stay close to your family and not be challenged in your social life. In this case you choose the job in your hometown beacause you want to heal, you need the closeness of your family. I see that choice as a love choice towards yourself, you recognize that you have to heal . 

But you have to dedicate time and energy to this decision, so you can clearly feel that you have to heal otherwise you could easily deceive yourself.

[PacoLeone]

12 hours ago, Thought Art said:

I like it. Could probably be expanded to meet more nuances but.. seems okay to me at this moment.

Yes, you are right. I tried to expand in the reply.

[gettoefl]

we have little vision, drive, clue about where we want to be so we let the crowd drag us to where it is headed

we're lame weak pathetic basically and happy frittering away the cosmological jackpot that fell into our hands

this is a clarion call to wake up today and take hold of the reins