Music makes me think of other people

[no_name]

I don’t know if I can explain this well, and this may sound very crazy and weird, but I really need help to understand this. Whenever I listen to music, I always think about other people. 

For example, when an EDM song comes up, I would think about working out and posting a fit video (or a makeup video) on Instagram so that some (usually a guy I like) people could see how good I look. Or I think about how good I would like wearing this or that when someone sees me. Or how smart I would look at a work meeting once I do this or that project. Or how wise I would sound when I talk about this book I read/video I saw etc. Just now I was listening to a Harry Potter theme song sitting on my balcony, and the sky looks beautiful here.. yet I start thinking about other people instead of enjoying the moment with me.

Listening to music always makes me think how I would impress these other people. I was thinking of quitting listening to music forever because of this. I don’t want to care about impressing other people, I only want to live a life for me. Or is it burning though karma thing (I didn’t actually watch Leo’s video on that, but I assume that’s what it is)? Should I just go with that and live my life trying to impress people for some time?  I just think it’s so unhealthy and I really want to connect with me.

Edited July 12, 2022 by no_name

[RendHeaven]

 

try music for music's sake

nothing about these sounds say anything about you or other people...

Edited July 12, 2022 by RendHeaven

[no_name]

1 minute ago, RendHeaven said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M3CSWLFL5u8

try music for music's sake

nothing about these sounds suggest that you ought to behave in any specific way in the future lol

Loooool, this doesn’t work ?, I was hopeful for a few seconds of it, but then those sounds reminded me of puss in boots sword fighting scene and how badass he looked and how badass I can look too ? (I am not making this up ?)

[RendHeaven]

you know what i'll be perfectly honest, I listened to this 5 minutes ago and I'm guilty of imagining myself eyefucking my dreamgirl in a dark room ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

now what that says about me... up to interpretation LOL

Felt good though. Maybe daydreaming is not a bad thing :]

Edited July 12, 2022 by RendHeaven

[ZenAlex]

I Understand this completely. As I got more anxious/neurotic in my 20's, I notice the original feelings of beauty I got with music declined and these thoughts about people with my music got more frequent.

So I try to listen more to songs that feel meaningful for other ways, rather than just me imagining myself on stage playing them and gaining pleasure only at the thought of playing it well for a crowd lol.

Ambient music is good to avoid these thoughts I find. You may not be able to avoid those social thoughts completely, but ambient/ambience music often inspires peaceful/abstract thoughts in me.

It's just a case of perfecting mindfulness to know exactly which songs inspire the preferred thoughts. This is why mindfulness is important.

Edited July 14, 2022 by ZenAlex

[Osaid]

Sounds like immersive/maladaptive daydreaming, or some variation of it. It happens to me too sometimes, but I don't really find it too bothersome. It's just an amusing daydream to me, although it does make me feel narcissistic at times.

Do you have similar thoughts when drifting off into sleep?

Edited July 15, 2022 by Osaid

[ZenAlex]

5 hours ago, Osaid said:

Sounds like immersive/maladaptive daydreaming, or some variation of it. It happens to me too sometimes, but I don't really find it too bothersome. It's just an amusing daydream to me, although it does make me feel narcissistic at times.

Do you have similar thoughts when drifting off into sleep?

I spend a big portion of my day in internal dialogues. I can calm it down by limiting music, removing video games/tv/movies etc, and going on long walks where you awaken more and more from the daydreams. 

I cannot stop it from happening, it often overlaps any attempt to concentrate on other things, probably a result of ADHD really, as MDD is associated with OCD and ADHD. 

Only thing I can do is manage my lifestyle. I often stay away from high stimulation music. It's been hard as for many years I was in a state of constant technology stimulation, until my mental health got worse and I just got numb to it all.

Now I go for hikes in the woods for 5-7 hours, and towards the end, my minds spends longer periods of time in the present in between day dreams, and when my mind is calmer, I can focus on lower stimulation music that doesn't make my mind hyper, such as ambient music, and also focus on listening to true crime podcasts and stories, which capture my imagination in a way I can remain present.

It's just something you gotta learn to live with.

I will never be a highly present individual unless I dedicate my entire lifestyle to it, and still will daydream and lose myself in internal dialogues for hours a day, I cannot stop it.