I have success barriers, I need some advice

[Jaccobtw]

So I've been trying to become an engineer at university but I keep having this problem where I get more and more resistance to school as the semester progresses. I start out doing well, but later in the semester it gets harder for me to do work. It's not necessarily the difficulty of the class, but rather an extreme decrease in motivation to the point where I get physical resistance in my body when trying to do work. It gets so bad where I literally cannot do work for an extended period of time which obviously wastes time and puts me behind in class. Also, I'm an extreme loner. I only talk to people if I pretty much have to like in a lab or group project. I watched a video by Teal Swan saying that connection is important for success. She basically says there is an aspect of consciousness that will resist success unless you have connection:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUdaVwxdnak&t=1122s

 

Has connection and being lonely ever been a success barrier for you? Ever been in a similar situation that I have described? What are some other success barriers that you have gone through? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thanks

 

[JonasVE12]

The basis of happiness is how you experience the present moment. It's the amount of feeling you experience on a daily basis. That's what keeps you aligned to what you are creating. Because happiness is the basis of succes and not the other way around. If you have no feeling connection to the now, because you live in a permanent state of emotional contraction, you will eventually burn out with your pursuits because they come from the mind. Remember that the body fuels the mind. Imagination and experience fuel the body. And feeling aligns your mind with creation. 

So how are you fueling your body so you fill it up with excitement, joy, adventure, passion, and love? What experience and type of imagination are you having to channel those energies? Not only related to the engineering goal, but any other area of your life? Are you a loner by choice? I can't imagine it feels good to be alone all the time? There is so so much out there for you to play with and have fun with. Any desire here?

If it is limiting beliefs and negative feelings that is keeping you a loner, then you have to realize that will act like an invisible prison around your creativity, joy and inspiration in all areas. Not only with people but overal because it is how you feel about yourself. And how you feel about yourself determines everything you do and feel, and what you don't do and not feel. The possibilities in your life come from how you feel about yourself. It is either contracted and small or completely open and expanded and you feel like everything is possible for you. And how can you not become motivated here?

Your feeling relationship to the goal of engineering might be positive. And so you have a decent motivation. Yet if all other parts of your life, you feel numb, then eventually your tolerance to the present moment will lower until you can't feel connected anymore because you simply don't enjoy your life. And so you dissociate from the moment. I'd prioritize joy and contentment over 'succes'. I'd also reframe succes as feeling content in the present moment 80% of the time. When you achieve this, it will energize your mind to be able to work on your engineering goal because you become attuned to flow states.

Of course feeling 80% contentment and joy in your daily life isn't easy otherwise you'd just do it and not be stuck. But there is the work to be done.

The engineering goal might partially be a future fixation in order to escape the discontentment with the now. Once you sort that out, the engineering goal might disappear altogether. I had these fixations a lot when I was living in discontentment. And each time, I realized it was an escape. But then I'd find another fixation, and another and I wasn't realizing I was making the same mistake over and over again. I just didn't had the courage to face my fears and shame so I kept distracting. It was like an endless loop until I confronted all my fear and shame and transcended it. 

I pursuit many college degrees and always failed. One instance, I studied VFX and after a semester, I couldn't bring myself to do the work. I didn't even make my exams. I burned out. I asked myself 'Why do I always burn out?', and I couldn't understand why. I thought maybe it wasn't what I really wanted. But really, it was because I lived in a state of emotional contraction due to fear and shame (How I feel about myself). 

Once I cleared that up, man, all the confusion lifted like foggy gas rising up the sky. And when you look back down as the fog disappears, you look in front of you and see the endless joy to be experienced. And it becomes all about discovering that and playing with that in the present moment.

And if I decide to pursue some goal, I effortlessly enter flow state because it comes from wanting/being instead of needing/having/forcing. And I can merge with it for hours and lose touch with time. 

So yes, loneliness and lack of connection was a barrier to happiness/success because it came from how I felt about myself. And that determined everything my conscious mind was envisioning, escaping, pursuing, etc. And everything of it was bs.