Thoughts about being tortured

[Gabith]

This year I've discovered that I have thoughts, mental stories about being tortured in this lifetime. I imagine the most awful ways to be tortured and it feels really bad. The worst part is that I've a feeling that I will be tortured in this lifetime, it's becoming terrific. 
I think that my thoughts about torture will attract this situation in the future (maybe in time of war, I don't know) 

These forms of thoughts about torture appeared 10 years ago when I was a teenager.

What can I do to reassure myself that I will not be tortured in this lifetime ? 

[Yarco]

It sounds like you should probably talk to a therapist about it, especially if the fear of being tortured is always on your mind or starting to interfere with your life. You need a professional to get to the root of why these thoughts started to appear. Maybe it's as simple as a movie you watched as a kid.

You can try to rationalize it to yourself. If you live in a first world country, what are the odds of being tortured? Do you know any family members or friends or coworkers who have ever been tortured? I don't have any statistics to back it up, but just intuitively I feel like outside of wartime or prison abuse, situations where people are tied up in basements and tortured for days seems extraordinarily rare. It's probably up there with the odds of getting murdered by a serial killer.

Being male alone likely greatly reduces your odds of being abducted and tortured. You can further reduce the odds by learning some form of self-defense, carrying a weapon if it's legal where you are. Look up videos about how to escape if you're tied up with rope, zip ties, duct tape, handcuffs... hands in front, hands in back... there are Youtube videos for all of this. Just don't turn it into an obsession.

Avoid traveling to areas like Mexico or Venezuela where kidnapping rates are higher, or where there are terrorist groups or general political instability. If you live in one of these places, move.

In the past, spies carried cyanide pills in case they were captured. But I would very much not recommend this, unless there's a reasonable likelihood you might end up in a situation where death is preferable to torture (basically if you live in an area heavily occupied by a cartel or terrorist group and you're part of a targeted group is the only valid situation I can think of.) Even in that situation, you would need to be extremely careful to make sure no pets or children could ever get to it, or you could get accidentally exposed to it if it breaks open. This is certainly not an option if you suffer from any kind of mental illness, as you might have a delusion that you're in eminent fear of being captured and tortured that doesn't actually align with reality.

[Kamo]

You dont "need" a professional per se. Im a fan of shadow work which is basically self therapy. Professionals will just try to prescribe you something you dont need. What you need to do is understand observing the distinction between thinking and awareness. The ego loves to come up with any form of distraction that will make you focus on thoughts instead of awareness. Awareness in this context would be the "Observer" or the Observation itself which is "perceiving" these thoughts. You allow them to pass, no matter how often they arise again you let them pass, the more you allow yourself to focus on them the more energy you put into them that sustains them. Thoughts like that only matter based on how your interpreting them, so setting in the awareness and ground yourself back into actuality, The environment your in, your other senses, the breath. There is also a book you will find helpful called "Overcoming Unwanted and Intrusive Thoughts" It describes the different 'types or variety' of thought, which you have been able to identify a specific type of thought your having so thats a step in the right direction. The variety type we could classify your case would be in the " Illness Death and Dying section or the Self harm/harming others category"  these are just a type of thought no different from any other thoughts really, it just carries your bias with it because it makes you uncomfortable because you dont understand yet what thoughts are, the book also explains how you can deal with them and that they are actually normal to experience from time to time, but your specific case seems they are more common and thats only because you've  made a consistent pattern of focusing on them which made them 'sticky'  since you been feeding them with your attention, they keep coming back. It takes awhile but the longer you settle in witnessing them and letting them to go the less sticky they will be. I find that knowing the varieties and placing uncomfortable thoughts into its own category increases your attention of them allowing them to be observed and analyzed with out reaction to them emotionally, and reduces its moment cuz now your changing its meaning to be an object to be placed in a box to let go of so to speak. Its a little more complicated than that but thats the general idea or an initial perspective I can give you to work with this kind of thing to get you started, if you have more questions let me know. 

[Gabith]

@Kamo thank u 

[Kamo]

9 hours ago, Gabith said:

@Kamo thank u 

Was that helpful? What are your thoughts?

[Gabith]

@Kamo

This is very helpful

Awareness in this context would be the "Observer" or the Observation itself which is "perceiving" these thoughts. You allow them to pass, no matter how often they arise again you let them pass, the more you allow yourself to focus on them the more energy you put into them that sustains them. Thoughts like that only matter based on how your interpreting them, so setting in the awareness and ground yourself back into actuality

A good reminder 

[Jacob Morres]

sounds like ocd. fear and need for reassurance. look into OCD 

if confirmed it's ocd check out:

act for ocd workbook 

ocd and anxiety youtube channel 

ocd therapist if need be 

brain school course by mark freeman 

maybe a support group 

and look into meditation/mindfulness etc.

[Kamo]

13 hours ago, Jacob Morres said:

sounds like ocd. fear and need for reassurance. look into OCD 

if confirmed it's ocd check out:

act for ocd workbook 

ocd and anxiety youtube channel 

ocd therapist if need be 

brain school course by mark freeman 

maybe a support group 

and look into meditation/mindfulness etc.

Yeah these are solid recommendations. Go with those too!