Im speechless with super hot girls

[Someone here]

I'm doing a one girl per day challenge since late April.  I talk to one girl at least every single day .I usually do it in malls and restaurants.  I find a girl that catches my attention and then I rush to talk to her .my opening is always" hey ,I saw you passing by and I think you are beautiful ". The usual response I get is "thanks ". But I have a problem..is I quickly run out of things to say ..and I don't know how exactly to guide the conversation towards saying that I like her and I want her to be my girlfriend.  Should I even do that In the first date? Or just get her number and go on many dates before explicitly saying that I want her to be my girlfriend? 

Another problem I have is I always approach girls who are not so attractive..on a scale from 1 to 10..they usually are at 7. When I see a super attractive girl ..like a 9 or even 10 I completely lose all my confidence and drive to go talk to her .its like she will never be my girlfriend. I'm not worthy of dating such a high quality girl (appearance wise). I'm left completely speechless when I see a super hot girl and I don't even try to approach. Then I go to home and jerk off thinking about her .

So I want to know two things ...

1. When and how to start talking to a girl about being my girlfriend?

2. How to have the balls to go talk to a 10 ?

Thanks .

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Someone here said:

But I have a problem..is I quickly run out of things to say

Very common. I struggle with that plenty.

Quote

.and I don't know how exactly to guide the conversation towards saying that I like her and I want her to be my girlfriend.  Should I even do that In the first date? Or just get her number and go on many dates before explicitly saying that I want her to be my girlfriend? 

Asking her to be you gf in a serious way so early comes off too creepy and needy.

But you can do it in tongue-in-cheek ways, by saying something, "So... you single?" and when says Yes, you say, "Not any more ;)"

Stuff like that. Don't be serious about it. But also your vibe should already be that she's your gf. Just assume she's your gf from the opener. Talk to her like you'd talk your gf. Treat her like your gf without saying it explicitly. The vibe and frame is what matters, not the words.

One of the worst things you can do is treat her like a stranger. You just have to fool yourself using your mind that she's your long-time friend to skip the stranger phase.

Quote

When I see a super attractive girl ..like a 9 or even 10 I completely lose all my confidence and drive to go talk to her .its like she will never be my girlfriend. I'm not worthy of dating such a high quality girl (appearance wise). I'm left completely speechless when I see a super hot girl and I don't even try to approach.

2. How to have the balls to go talk to a 10 ?

You just push yourself to approach anyways and try to treat her like any other human. Don't think about her hotness.

Your lack of entitlement is a huge inner game problem. You will never get girls you don't feel entitled to. So you just have to brainwash yourself to feel entitled to the hottest girls in the world. Cause you're God, so why not?

There's no reason a 9 or 10 won't be happy sleeping with you, as long as you develop rock solid inner game. In this case it really is a fake-it-till-you-make-it situation. Confidence and security is a state of mind. The more hot girls you push yourself to approach, the stronger your confidence will grow. And occasionally some of them will sleep with you, and that will skyrocket your entitlement. Eventually you will feel that no girl is too hot for you. Because of course it was all just limiting beliefs.

With hot girls your frame should be: "Yeah, you're hot. Almost as beautiful as I am."

Also with you need to work on your intent. You shouldn't just talk to hot girls, you should actually desire them and broadcast that raw desire to her just by the way you look at her. You need to be able to look a hot girl dead in the eyes with desire and not flinch. Practice makes perfect.

[Razard86]

2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Every common. I struggle with that plenty.

I believe this only happens with girls who are bad at communication. Some girls are pretty but not well read, thoughtful or opiniated. So even when you try to have mundane conversations she can't really offer anything. I've learned that you can bring up topics like family, or funny things you've notice about people, or even tease her about herself like funny things she does, but this is usually only good for short-term relationships.

I've noticed when a girl is not as socially developed in conversation, but the guy is, outside of shared interests in activities that relationship is not going to go anywhere.

I think guys need to stop trying to force relationships with women who they don't naturally connect with ( I've done this in the past) and the first thing a guy needs to see if the conversation flows. Now some girls are quiet and likes to hear a guy talk and that can work, but I prefer the back forth.

With all that said, to each their own. This is just my opinion.

 

[Leo Gura]

4 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

I believe this only happens with girls who are bad at communication.

It's not the girl's problem. It's the guy's problem for stumbling to speak.

It is not the girl's job to carry the conversation when you open her. You have to carry it.

[Someone here]

15 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Every common. I struggle with that plenty.

Asking her to be you gf in a serious way so early comes off too creepy and needy.

But you can do it in tongue-in-cheek ways, by saying something, "So... you single?" and when says Yes, you say, "Not any more ;)"

Stuff like that. Don't be serious about it. But also your vibe should already be that she's your gf. Just assume she's your gf from the opener. Talk to her like you'd talk your gf. Treat her like your gf without saying it explicitly. The vibe and frame is what matters, not the words.

One of the worst things you can do is treat her like a stranger. You just have to fool yourself using your mind that she's your long-time friend to skip the stranger phase.

You just push yourself to approach anyways and try to treat her like any other human. Don't think about her hotness.

Your lack of entitlement is a huge inner game problem. You will never get girls you don't feel entitled to. So you just have to brainwash yourself to feel entitled to the hottest girls in the world. Cause you're God, so why not?

There's no reason a 9 or 10 won't be happy sleeping with you, as long as you develop rock solid inner game. In this case it really is a fake-it-till-you-make-it situation. Confidence and security is a state of mind. The more hot girls you push yourself to approach, the stronger your confidence will grow. And occasionally some of them will sleep with you, and that will skyrocket your entitlement. Eventually you will feel that no girl is too hot for you. Because of course it was all just limiting beliefs.

With hot girls your frame should be: "Yeah, you're hot. Almost as beautiful as I am."

Also with you need to work on your intent. You shouldn't just talk to hot girls, you should actually desire them and broadcast that raw desire to her just by the way you look at her. You need to be able to look a hot girl dead in the eyes with desire and not flinch. Practice makes perfect.

Thanks Leo for the response . I will try to apply your advice . But shouldn't I just stay away from 10s for now and go for mediocre girls at first because I'm still a newbie? And then when I get good with less attractive girls ,I can proceed to approach the hottest ones ?

Another problem I have In short, its because im desperate. And very shy and introverted. So I have to act out being confident and alpha .Those who are desperate do crazy, unwise things in order to get her. If ihave to become something I'm not  in order to impress someone, they aren't interested in me anyway. 

[Razard86]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It's not the girl's problem. It's the guy's problem for stumbling to speak.

It is not the girl's job to carry the conversation when you open her. You have to carry it.

That's not what I'm talking about Leo. I'm talking about long-term. If it's pick sure, but no guy wants to handle that burden for his entire life. He would like a woman that he can share the role of conversing with. I've met guys and been the guy whose job it is to do that in a long term relationship and the only time it works is if the woman likes to hear you speak, or you guys like to DO things together. 

Its called a relationship= Relate to each other. If two people cannot relate its not going to last. Either you like to converse (share ideas, emotions), or you are sharing activities. If you cannot sustainably do either and are only together for sex, that is not going to last. It will however be fun short-term. 

Booty calls are fun, but eventually you will want something more. 

[Leo Gura]

34 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Thanks Leo for the response . I will try to apply your advice . But shouldn't I just stay away from 10s for now and go for mediocre girls at first because I'm still a newbie? And then when I get good with less attractive girls ,I can proceed to approach the hottest ones ?

Either way is will work. The more you push yourself the faster you will grow.

To see a 10 and not approach seems criminal to me. Girls that hot aren't seen often so you better learn to seize the opportunity.

You need to train yourself to automatically approach any girl who you find attractive without thinking about it.

But if hot girls are stressing you out, start with the average ones to build up your confidence.

Quote

Another problem I have In short, its because im desperate. And very shy and introverted. So I have to act out being confident and alpha .Those who are desperate do crazy, unwise things in order to get her. If ihave to become something I'm not  in order to impress someone, they aren't interested in me anyway. 

But you have to start correcting that somehow. So just do the best you can with your approaches and slowly things will correct themselves.

[Raze]

Don’t do one girl per day, do 3-5 girls each day for 5 days a week

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJKiFisdi5g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LKAvQYCKhhM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhR3VSMHo2w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxOih6GwSXI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MptvykZL2f4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E18DhJvSrqk

Edited July 11, 2022 by Raze

[NoSelfSelf]

Why is she beautiful you dont know her ?

[JonasVE12]

Speechlessness is no problem. It's when you are in your head about it that it is a problem. If you enjoy it, she will too. It's the aversion that creates tension and that will create a loop of manifesting that same thing over and over until you become okay being speechless. Once you truly become okay with it, not resistant, you'll speak effortlessly. But many times, silence feels better. The most exciting of a conversation is energy/feeling and if you become a master at that, you can attract a woman without speaking at all. But keep in mind that some women are in their head too and if you just look at them without saying anything, they won't get it. Then it's your job as a man to ground it and make her present with you. But you need to get out of the head and into the body, because you'll push away people when you connect from your head. Try to connect from the lower body and heart.

[Ulax]

7 hours ago, Someone here said:

2. How to have the balls to go talk to a 10 ?

Thanks .

I always found the following mantra (of Owen Cook) useful:

- *Envisions doing anxiety-provoking approach* Who the fuck would have the balls to do that?

[Jodistrict]

When I was younger I had a girlfriend who was a former contestant in the Miss USA contest.  It gave me insight into how a beautiful woman lives.   Guys would act ridiculous around her and there were men who would follow her home in their cars and knock on her door.   She got a job at a school teaching children so she wouldn’t have to be around men, which frequently created problems for her.   Your best shot with a woman is to treat her like everyone else.   She has probably had bad experiences in the past and may misinterpret your nervous behavior.

[kamwalker]

So when you meet someone for the first time and want to get to know them, what do you do? You ask them questions about themselves. If all you see is an attractive human being that you want to bang and are not genuinely interested in who this person is they will see straight through your bullshit. You need to ask questions about this person. But don't sit there and turn it into an interview. Ask them something and then riff off it and give an answer that also reveals a bit about you. And when you feel like you might be talking too much about yourself then throw it back to something about her. Even if you have a super interesting life it doesn't matter. People like to feel valued and if she's very attractive her first impression is probably going to be that you only approached her for her looks. You don't need to tell her this she already knows it. So when you talk to her do not make the conversation about how she looks. 

[Someone here]

On 11/07/2022 at 4:44 PM, Leo Gura said:

Either way is will work. The more you push yourself the faster you will grow.

To see a 10 and not approach seems criminal to me. Girls that hot aren't seen often so you better learn to seize the opportunity.

You need to train yourself to automatically approach any girl who you find attractive without thinking about it.

But if hot girls are stressing you out, start with the average ones to build up your confidence.

But you have to start correcting that somehow. So just do the best you can with your approaches and slowly things will correct themselves.

Is it  important to strategise in most cases, before approaching?  Like should I memorize specific lines so that I will be ready to any twists and turns during the conversation with a girl? I'm asking this because I'm failing in speaking off the cufIf. I just don't know what the fuck to say besides "I like your dress " "I like your eyes ""I think you are beautiful, "etc.

I'm always  atoo worried about the aftermath and start out on a super defensive note, i don't come across as a friendly guy. And i know that women like men who are easy to hang out with and who can talk about random things with as much ease as they would with their guy friends. 

[Leo Gura]

33 minutes ago, Someone here said:

Is it  important to strategise in most cases, before approaching?  Like should I memorize specific lines so that I will be ready to any twists and turns during the conversation with a girl?

Hell no.

Force your mind not to think when you are out.

Quote

I'm asking this because I'm failing in speaking off the cufIf. I just don't know what the fuck to say besides "I like your dress " "I like your eyes ""I think you are beautiful, "etc.

Talk about yourself, make silly assumptions about her, and riff laterally off her responses.

"Hey, you're cute. I just had lunch at Starbucks. It was delicious. Where you walkin all cute like that? You were just gonna pass me by and not even say Hi? "

You need to be very present and comfortable in your body in order to be able to riff. Anxiety and fear is your #1 enemy. You have to train yourself to deeply relax as you approach.

[Someone here]

8 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Talk about yourself, make silly assumptions about her, and riff laterally off her responses.

"Hey, you're cute. I just had lunch at Starbucks. It was delicious. Where you walkin all cute like that? You were just gonna pass me by and not even say Hi? "

You need to be very present and comfortable in your body in order to be able to riff. Anxiety and fear is your #1 enemy. You have to train yourself to deeply relax as you approach.

Good one . I will try this out today .I'm going out to a mall this evening .I hope I don't come off as a simp .thanks Leo. 

One last point...many times I’ve walked up to a girl who didn’t even notice me, who looked all pretty but also all grumpy. There sometimes happens this magical moment when you see a big smile appear out of nowhere on her face, just because i walked to her and said “Hey, I saw you and I thought you were cute so I wanted to say hi…”. She didn’t notice me, and I gave her the chance to get to know me.  is smiling a signal that she feel comfortable being approached by me and she doesn't find me annoying, creepy or unattractive? 

[BuddhistLover]

@Leo Gura Okay so that's step one: Relax, and line up the approach. Then use introverted intuition to toss out some funny jokes.

 @Someone here I feel like she was toying with you, by being all grumpy, then happy. Lol, it's more pleasant than talking to men. I feel like if she's smiling that means she enjoyed being around you. And she's ready for more verbage.

Edited July 12, 2022 by BuddhistLover

[Leo Gura]

10 hours ago, Someone here said:

Good one . I will try this out today .I'm going out to a mall this evening .I hope I don't come off as a simp .thanks Leo. 

Don't try to parrot what I said. Rather say whatever feels natural from your relaxed state. Do not turn my words into a pickup routine. It really does not matter what you say as long as it comes out naturally from a relaxed state and does not offend her.

Do not try to micromanage your word choice, this will just put you in your head and kill the vibe.

Quote

One last point...many times I’ve walked up to a girl who didn’t even notice me, who looked all pretty but also all grumpy. There sometimes happens this magical moment when you see a big smile appear out of nowhere on her face

Girls will be in various states of receptivity -- which is outside your control. Some girls will simply not be receptive to your approach no matter how good your approach was. Some girls are just in a bad mood, their dog just died, or she is just hung over from the night before, or she has a boyfriend. There is nothing you can do about that and you should not take it personally.

50% of game is just finding a girl who is in a receptive state. You aren't doing anything special, you're literally just screening which girls are interested in meeting new guys. Most girls will not be interested, but a few will be. Those few are who you're targeting. But you cannot ever know which girl is receptive until you approach.

The bottom line is that you simply have to stop caring about rejection. Let girls reject you or brush you off with bad reactions. Some girls will just be in a bad mood and will not want to talk, not to you, not to anyone. Other girls will be so receptive that she is willing to sleep with the first guy who approach her. It's really not personal. Many times when a girl decides to sleep with you, she would have slept with any other guy that night who approached her, and you just happened to be the first.

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is smiling a signal that she feel comfortable being approached by me and she doesn't find me annoying, creepy or unattractive? 

Obviously.

[BuddhistLover]

@Aleister Crowleyy I love the self-esteem, that's great. And those ideas really seem like they'll workout. I bet your speaking skills are really on point. 

[Applegarden8]

On 7/11/2022 at 3:55 PM, Leo Gura said:

Very common. I struggle with that plenty.

Asking her to be you gf in a serious way so early comes off too creepy and needy.

But you can do it in tongue-in-cheek ways, by saying something, "So... you single?" and when says Yes, you say, "Not any more ;)"

Stuff like that. Don't be serious about it. But also your vibe should already be that she's your gf. Just assume she's your gf from the opener. Talk to her like you'd talk your gf. Treat her like your gf without saying it explicitly. The vibe and frame is what matters, not the words.

One of the worst things you can do is treat her like a stranger. You just have to fool yourself using your mind that she's your long-time friend to skip the stranger phase.

You just push yourself to approach anyways and try to treat her like any other human. Don't think about her hotness.

Your lack of entitlement is a huge inner game problem. You will never get girls you don't feel entitled to. So you just have to brainwash yourself to feel entitled to the hottest girls in the world. Cause you're God, so why not?

There's no reason a 9 or 10 won't be happy sleeping with you, as long as you develop rock solid inner game. In this case it really is a fake-it-till-you-make-it situation. Confidence and security is a state of mind. The more hot girls you push yourself to approach, the stronger your confidence will grow. And occasionally some of them will sleep with you, and that will skyrocket your entitlement. Eventually you will feel that no girl is too hot for you. Because of course it was all just limiting beliefs.

With hot girls your frame should be: "Yeah, you're hot. Almost as beautiful as I am."

Also with you need to work on your intent. You shouldn't just talk to hot girls, you should actually desire them and broadcast that raw desire to her just by the way you look at her. You need to be able to look a hot girl dead in the eyes with desire and not flinch. Practice makes perfect.

You know Leo, I acctually were in a situation that all I had to do was to kiss one girl and she 15 cm from me. She was really hot and she was also a really good singer, but yeah, while my inner game is not terrible, I kinda lacked the intent i think. I just didn't want her that much to just take her, which I see she really wanted.