Struggles post God-realization/Solipsism

[puporing]

(Not sure if this is the right category to put this).

So I've been experiencing a lot of shifts in awareness and how I perceive reality in my baseline consciousness lately and I am wondering if "anyone" feels this way or has found some healthy ways to transition through this.

Do you struggle with relating with "others" post-awakening knowing they're just you, but they mostly don't recognize it as such? Do you have to trick yourself to believe that the other exists in order to have interaction? Do you have to trick yourself into thinking like a human again to function and/or have "human goals"?

It's been really sticking with me these days that nothing exists the way most people view it, except as "costume" or "narratives" and constructions, and anytime I interact with someone I'm just talking to myself but I sort of have to act like I am not... It's like being the only sober person at a drunk party. Eating food I feel like I am ultimately eating "nothing" but is necessary to keep this body alive/healthy. I go to a swimming pool or walk on a street full of people and it dawns on me they're all me. And I feel completely insane because of how isolated I am in this awareness, and how almost nobody would understand me if I pointed this out. Sometimes it can feel "good" too especially in nature and with animals, classical music, I feel more at peace being one with them (which is a bias..). So it's a rollercoaster kind of ride. I seem to feel at the most peace being alone or with someone that has an opening/accepts my understanding of reality at this point and not totally enraptured in the dream.

Not sure where this post is going..it's just been bottling up and need to be said.. (maybe this alone helps to cope/transition). I'm sorting out some thoughts on it. It's like yea.. I know this is what's gonna happen when you go deep.. but maybe some struggles with the change is also normal to have..

It's almost like I have to embrace "acting", well maybe that's the answer to this lawl. 

Perhaps some of you are struggling with the same.. And if you are.. I want to say, I see your struggles and know how hard they can be. Even though the separation between us is imaginary, I am here, and see your struggle with this journey.

Thank you for reading. Sharing already seem to make it better. 

Edited July 11, 2022 by puporing

[Leo Gura]

By awakening deeper and more, you end up getting over it.

God is dreaming and it cannot change what it dreams because the dream is Absolute. This requires a profound surrender.

It takes a lot of awakenings to really integrate the absolute solipsism.

It's similar to learning that Santa Claus isn't real. At first you are butt-hurt, but then you learn to enjoy Christmas anyways.

It took me a couple of years of integration and further awakenings to get over it.

Notice that even though you know that the actors in a movie never actually die, you can still enjoy watching a violent movie.

The solution here to awaken deeper, and then to get really playful with reality. Treat it like a game of pure trickery. Really appreciate the trickery rather than resisting it.

Why do you need others to be real? What does it do for you? Why can't you enjoy them being imaginary?

[puporing]

The surrender makes sense and I can probably surrender some more..

I think the main thing differing from that approach is that it is coming in conflict with one of my top values - authenticity. I have this urge to talk about it with whomever I come in (close) contact with (if there's an opening that is). Maybe that's also part of God's will and waking itself up.

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Notice that even though you know that the actors in a movie never actually die, you can still enjoy watching a violent movie.

My natural inclination is the opposite... (and I really don't enjoy violent movies, not before nor after awakening , I'd rather watch some clouds.. and it's a bias I have). The way I would enjoy it would be to see it accurately, seeing the God in them.. right now disguised.

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Why do you need others to be real? What does it do for you? Why can't you enjoy them being imaginary?

I don't need them to be real. It's just been isolating when I can't relate with people on a very existential point. But I'll get over it.

It sounds like you don't try to trick yourself but just see everything else as a trick. That's what I was wondering about.. 

Edited July 11, 2022 by puporing

[Someone here]

@puporing I know this will sound weird, but I will give it a try. Since I was a teen I used to feel like I was the only real person and everyone else and everything only existed when I saw them like in a dream. I am 25 now and feel that way again. When I leave a room I feel it no longer exists. I feel that nothing existed until I was born. This means no real person won the 100 million dollar lottery last week and at the same time nobody died in an earthquake last week because neither of them really exists. Sometimes I feel I created the universe and made myself a part of it but purposely forgot so that it would be more interesting. I am just your average person. Maybe this is how I wanted it. I feel the answer will be revealed when I die, as if my life is just a long dream. Does anyone else feel this way? Even the guy who bullied me in 8th grade, did I create him ? I just ask myself are there really 7 billion souls on this earth plus the 20 billion that ever lived or just one: me. Sometimes I really think hard about this. When I see someone leaving work, do they really go home to a family or do they no longer exist til I see them the next day. I am not mentally unstable and would like to share your thoughts. Thanks.

[puporing]

13 minutes ago, Someone here said:

I feel the answer will be revealed when I die, as if my life is just a long dream

It could be revealed while you're physically alive if you want.. sounds like you're already halfway there.

[Someone here]

@puporing

 I'm not halfway there..I completely integrated solipsism .

I struggled years with solipsistic ideas . Probably most important advice I can give you , stop thinking about life. You cannot prove nor disprove solipsism, so taking it as a serious philosophy is pointless. Its just an interesting perspective. One of the things I took comfort in, how there seemed to be other people that had things to offer intellectually and otherwise that I could not provide for myself. It made me feel like I wasn't alone, despite that not really proving such.

You'll be fine, just dont pick at the scab too much.

 there will be people on this forum that will try to philosophically flex on you, try to sound smart, explain solipsism to you. Ignore those fucking losers. Itll make your problems worse. You do you.

Look up derealization / dissociation. The right therapist could help but not all of them are knowledgeable on the subject. Make sure to interview / ask questions on what they’re knowledgable on in your first session / consultation.

I used to feel this intensely when I was younger but now it happens so seldom. It changes over time with overall wellbeing.

Apologies if that’s not fully accurate to your situation, as I’m speaking from my own experience / knowledge. Hope it helps regardless.

[puporing]

@Someone here I appreciate the care... I don't know if you're referring to the same but, I'm just integrating. I already feel alot better right now.. 

Edited July 11, 2022 by puporing

[Someone here]

14 minutes ago, puporing said:

@Someone here I appreciate the care... I don't know if you're referring to the same but, I'm just integrating. I already feel alot better right now.. 

Good . It will take time to integrate. As it did with me . 

I'd suggest just socializing with someone you don't usually talk to that often, going for a jog, taking up meditation , etc solipsism is interesting but I find the anxiety that comes with thinking too hard about these things is pretty confusing.

feel free to shoot me a PM if you want some references, want to talk about something in particular, or just need someone to scream your frustrations at. Just please don't one-track-mind the conversation into a circle, philosophy actually requires learning multiple points of view on the same subject, even if you cant believe them yourself .

Have a nice day /evening ? 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, puporing said:

My natural inclination is the opposite... (and I really don't enjoy violent movies, not before nor after awakening , I'd rather watch some clouds.. and it's a bias I have). The way I would enjoy it would be to see it accurately, seeing the God in them.. right now disguised.

You totally missed the point.

When you read a novel you know it's fake. Yet you enjoy it.

No one ever said, "But I can't enjoy a novel because it isn't real."

[puporing]

6 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

No one ever said, "But I can't enjoy a novel because it isn't real."

I do get it, I'm saying I literally don't gravitate towards novels/fiction and things of that nature these days, it's been like that for me for some time now. 

Edited July 11, 2022 by puporing

[OBEler]

@Someone here good to see that you are more humble about solipsism. 

 

There Was a time after Leos deleted solipsism Video where some  solipsism experts rised out of this forum and spreaded their ideology on every thread

[Someone here]

9 minutes ago, OBEler said:

@Someone here good to see that you are more humble about solipsism. 

 

There Was a time after Leos deleted solipsism Video where some  solipsism experts rised out of this forum and spreaded their ideology on every thread

Well..solipsism is both true and false simultaneously.  Let me clarify....

The Self is the only thing that exists .its all of reality . But it all depends on how you define the Self . It's not the human self.  The human self is a subset of the infinte Self .

Don’t say “I am Alone,” just say “I Am” and be satisfied with that.

Every human is an island unto themself, solipsism or not.

The fear at the core is loneliness, rejection, shame, etc. Solipsism is uncomfortable because the emotions that were secondary nuisances are now the core component of your reality.

This sudden shift can trigger psychosis (as it did for me few months agon) so make sure to seek help if you need it. At the very least have someone to talk

[Breakingthewall]

A novel is not fake, it's a novel. This reality is not false, it's what it is. 

in my opinion, to think: all this is imaginary, it is ego. all this is what it is, and we simply have to abandon ourself to it. having the need to tell people that it's imaginary or something like that is totally contradictory. tell them they're not real? If they are not real, what need is there? but they are real in the same way that I am. the need to conceptualize is the problem. all that about: I am alone, I am creating others, it is something that we may have seen a few days ago with the help of psychedelics, but right now, at this moment, we are not seeing it. the thing is much deeper and very different from what we conceptualize now, so it is best to forget any idea and let go. Completely forget the need for someone else to understand me. go beyond the ego ultimately

[michaelcycle00]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Why do you need others to be real? What does it do for you? Why can't you enjoy them being imaginary?

Why do you keep framing it like this instead of just saying "they're ultimately you". As long as they have a POV, it'd be better to say "they're real/imaginary in the same way that you are" to avoid misconceptions. 

Sometimes you get us thinking that our perspective is the Absolute and not just an infinitesimally small part of it.

 

5 hours ago, puporing said:

anytime I interact with someone I'm just talking to myself but I sort of have to act like I am not... It's like being the only sober person at a drunk party.

Honestly, I'd like to know why you feel this way despite being aware of how wildly different from you they can be. This is why the whole "others are you" thing hasn't really changed me much, if at all. Since Infinity is unknowable and an infinite mystery, "others" could be represented in a way that your character literally couldn't make sense of, and apart from that, you'll never fully understand yourself as God, which means others could be anything at all. And that doesn't necessarily mean that they are you since we don't even know what you are. You could say though that they're made from the same thing you are made of perhaps? Idk but this God thing seems infinitely impersonal to me. Watch out for it becoming an ego thing is my advice.

[Bobby_2021]

15 hours ago, puporing said:

nobody would understand me if I pointed this out.

Point this out to who? Yourself 

[Inliytened1]

@puporing remember, imagination is reality.  You don't have to trick yourself.   You just have to imagine that "other" is real- and poof, it is.  When I'm talking to you now I'm imagining you are sitting at your computer somewhere.   And thus, in that sense, you are.   You are trying too hard in this regard.  When you lay down and dream at night you don't over think anything- the dream just becomes your reality.   It's the same thing here.  Until you wake up- which is a shift in consciousness.  Everything is shifts in consciousness.

[kamwalker]

I used to. Then I got over it and realized it doesn't matter. It's all just a game to entertain ourselves. Get lost in the game of life the same way you would with an actual video game. The more you immerse yourself in it the more enjoyable it becomes. Understand the stresses you place on yourself are not real and being created by the mind. It's difficult to always be conscious of that which is why this thing is so damn interesting. 

[puporing]

@Inliytened1 thanks for that.. I think things will "settle" eventually. I have to stop myself from imagining the godhead for awhile in my baseline I think... Even typing on this forum is triggering that "state" of awareness. The line has really blurred lately. I will figure out the right balance eventually.

Edited July 11, 2022 by puporing

[Matthew85]

@puporing It might be good to take a break for awhile and just enjoy life. Explore your other interests and hobbies. Are you creative at all? If so, spend time on that. 

Often when we are interested in exploring consciousness it can become almost an obsession. We are too much in our heads thinking and analyzing. Try taking a break and get off the internet and forums. That always helps me. 

[puporing]

@Matthew85 Yeah I have stuff going on in life, it's just I have "deconstructed" alot of it too, even as I'm doing things, and now maybe time for a bit of construction to keep a healthy balance.. : ) Thank you for the reminder. Also it was really just wanting to share and be understood in that.. took a lot of the anxiety away.

Edited July 12, 2022 by puporing