Struggles post God-realization/Solipsism

[Razard86]

2 hours ago, kamwalker said:

I used to. Then I got over it and realized it doesn't matter. It's all just a game to entertain ourselves. Get lost in the game of life the same way you would with an actual video game. The more you immerse yourself in it the more enjoyable it becomes. Understand the stresses you place on yourself are not real and being created by the mind. It's difficult to always be conscious of that which is why this thing is so damn interesting. 

That is what I did, but also one of the best points Leo made that I loved is he said because everything is you, you can connect with it at a level you couldn't if it wasn't you. So basically you can get LOST in yourself. You can immerse yourself so deeply in anything as a result. So yeah, I don't think anything is better than that perspective.

Two romantic partners if they can reach the highest heights of connection with each other can reach levels of connection that would be impossible if they were truly separate. Great thing to think about and even potentially aim for, but not just with romantic relationships, but with anything music, dancing, drawing, gaming, thinking, watching, singing, whatever you want you can become one with it. 

[puporing]

@Razard86 yeah I agree with those, things are more connected and rich in many ways, just have to work on surrendering to the majority of people who are not in recognition of their true nature, and allow myself to still enjoy the interaction(s) and whatever goes on out there, without feeling like I'm going crazy for not being in alignment with them in various ways.. being okay with putting on an act for people (in limited amounts) etc, or don't coz it is up to me anyway.. 

Edited July 12, 2022 by puporing

[StarStruck]

@puporing if you could go back to your own life would you do it?

[puporing]

@Judy2 It's not about intellectual understanding.. it's mostly a feeling/awareness thing.

10 hours ago, Judy2 said:

And isn't the whole point of all these awakenings etc. to feel closer and more connected to everybody? Because we're ultimately all the same?

Connection happens in "both directions", the depth of it is limited by the extent of the obstruction of the ego and the clarity of the mind. To the extent that someone has cleared their illusory ego/self is to the extent I am able to connect to them, and the "deeper" you go, the fewer people exist to connect on with similar "depth and understanding" (that which can radically alter your mode of being in life). With most people, I simply mirror them so it shouldn't affect them in some negative way.

And from a meta perspective I am connected to everything.. so in a sense there's nothing "to do" about that also. It's mostly surrendering to the fact that most are still asleep.

Also the "point" is firstly about knowing the truth..

@StarStruck If you mean as in going back "asleep", no, and prob not possible at this point . I still want to live in truth. The challenges that come, will deal with it and find a way. 

Edited July 12, 2022 by puporing

[Razard86]

The more open I am to everyone being me, the more I see myself in others. It feels like I am communicating to hidden parts of myself that I have forgotten exists. Its really cool because I can find instances where I have currently or in the past displayed those same characteristics. So for me its a game to see how much I can integrate my shadow self every time I get triggered by something someone says or does. Like I had someone steal from me, it felt like a betrayal but it didn't bother me so much as it confused me. So I use instances when things happen as a way to gain more knowledge of myself which makes solipsism kind of like an adventure of sorts.

[Thought Art]

I just live like I did before 

[puporing]

3 hours ago, Judy2 said:

Yeah i just thought it's a bit strange. When you think of the prototypical enlightened master, they don't seem to have much difficulty "relating to others". The whole point is that there's no separation left in the end...

There is no seperation, but the self that most adopt do not perceive it as such. Words are not even necessary (as much) for connection when the true self is revealed. 

3 hours ago, Judy2 said:

If you feel like the people you are trying to connect with are stuck in the identification with their egos, maybe you can still try and see the underlying goodness, and shine your light on it, so to speak. By doing so, you'd develop a heightened sense of compassion for where they're at, and acknowledge that things are exactly as they are supposed to be.

Yeah that's the art of "holding space" so to speak. I generally have that intention and the love is very much there. 2 things about that:

1) It's hard for most to really get what is being transmitted (including the love aspect) because of how much separation they perceive there is (and projections from their conditioning, pain and trauma for example), which easily can distort their perception of my "communication".

2) I am learning this/refining how I am communicating, and it's a process. The embodiment aspect is another process besides awakening. 

3 hours ago, Judy2 said:

Would you like to describe this feeling/energy form in a little more detail? How does it manifest and how does it affect the state you're in? (emotionally, physically, energetically) 

When I wrote the post I was feeling a lot of anxiety around being totally alone, I was feeling the presence of people and things around me as me, the lack of solidity/transparency in things, and then confusion around how to show up in the world as this finite self when people project seperation all the time. 

The feeling of alonenesss as "anxiety inducing" is mostly a projection from the conditioning that aloneness is undesirable...

Then I sort of will'ed myself to "come back" to the contracted awareness.. thanks to some replies here.

Edited July 12, 2022 by puporing

[puporing]

1 hour ago, Judy2 said:

Maybe this is similar to raising a child: sometimes you have to say things to them that they cannot understand and they'll cry, but later they'll understand that you did it because you love them. And sometimes it's still necessary for them to touch the hot stove for themselves, so that they can learn and understand....this can be frustrating to watch, but you can develop trust in the larger process.

LOL yes it is just like that actually, slightly more challenging than a child because a small child is less stuck in their conditioned beliefs and sense of reality but yes similar idea overall in terms of being helpful/patience..

Actually you touched another point worth mentioning, the way to reach the godhead is to return to being child-like, a state of total wonder and not knowing .

1 hour ago, Judy2 said:

It's okay if it takes some time for you to readjust. Don't be too hard on yourself, i think you're doing great:)

Thank you I appreciate the support and you taking the time.  

[Matthew85]

@puporing You're welcome! I highly recommend taking breaks from being plugged in. Often I will spend an entire day without my phone or the internet. I always feel better. Technology is wonderful but I don't think it's good for our mental health to be plugged in all the time. 

 

[puporing]

@Matthew85 I get where you’re coming from. But it’s the only place that helps me be grounded in reality, and more. Everywhere else I go is much less so. The anxiety was from being out there rather than this forum. And being too much of a hermit otherwise isn’t optimal either. 

Edited July 13, 2022 by puporing

[Matthew85]

@puporing No not being a hermit. I'm talking about the opposite of that. Unplugging from the all the digital interaction and getting out enjoying and living life. 

You do what works best for you. I just have observed in myself and others when we spend too much time plugged into electronic interaction it isn't good for our mental health. 

[puporing]

@Matthew85 I appreciate the care. It's just a much larger thing for me to be here than it might seem to you right now, . Thanks though. 

Edited July 13, 2022 by puporing

[Matthew85]

@puporing The way solipsism is often discussed on this forum I intuitively feel is incomplete. Perhaps it's the holographic nature of consciousness that leads people to the insight of I am the only thing that exists, but I feel it's more complex than this. I intuitively felt this again recently while meditating on a camping trip under the night sky gazing at the infinite universe. I just feel there is something more to be discovered. Just wanted to add that. 

Edited July 13, 2022 by Matthew85

[Null Simplex]

I posted about my solopsistic experience a while back.  After my realization of solopsism, I sort of just went back to pretending that there are others (hence why I'm writing this post in the first place I suppose).  Most of the time when I'm talking to someone, I forget that they are me and get immersed in the illusion.  Identical to when watching a good movie, reading a good book, or playing a good video game; I get so immersed in the content that I forget that the experience isn't real.  I do occasionally remember that the person or people I'm talking to are me, but I'm pretty neautral about the whole situation.  I realized that nothing actually changed about my day to day life during/after the realization, only the way I perceived it, so I found it convenient to just continue business as usual.  That whole "Before enlightenment; chop wood, carry water.  After enlightenment; chop wood, carry water."  line (I am not claiming to be enlightened, but the quote feels relevant).  Ultimately I think you'll get used to it.  And I suppose that one of the functions of this forum is to allow people talk about these peculiar topics with "others"  who can better understand.

[Ezo]

I have been going through this for about 6 months and it does get easier over time. How does one integrate back into the dream into one's own life? in other words, how do you get used to knowing that this is a dream and that you are so aware that you are creating reality to such a degree that your thoughts are manifesting on this forum and even in Leo videos? And in everyday life? And know that everyone on the forum doesn't exist and there is no forum and I know that I am only asking myself this question and in a sense, this forum is my mind. And to know that I am the fool who has been fooling myself all along I have to fool myself that I am not being fooled by myself
How does God fool himself into believing he is not God again?
So you have to be better at fooling yourself into not believing you are being fooled by yourself. Behind every illusion, there is a conjure God= you are the greatest conjurer of all in eluding your own yourself into believing you're a finite human being. I have felt solipsism to such an extreme that it hurts me to go back there. But maybe this idea will make people feel better and this is what I would do. So you can just create any reality you want anytime anywhere any place, of course, you can. Because you are infinite Imagination you are God You love creating and what better gift could you give to yourself but infinite variations of yourself that are all unique and have independent thought and imagination and this is your way of expressing love to yourself through yourself as yourself forever.

[puporing]

@Null Simplex Thanks for sharing that, it's learning to navigate between "dream world" and "being-ness". And the being-ness marvels at all creation while in the dream... 

@Ezo Well said. More acceptance and embracing of how things actually are is going to be the way forward, appreciating that such illusions were possible, the layers of it, taking more and more comfort in that rather than running away from it. The initial shock and adjustment to the new reality will pass : ). Falling in love with "yourself" is not a bad way to go.

Edited July 13, 2022 by puporing

[Devin]

@puporing

What helps me is taking time away from the world, I don't do a prescribed type of meditation but I consider it a type of meditation. It's just relaxing away from society and processing things if I need to, with no set allotted time, just eventually I feel like getting back to people for curiosity, fun, and love. I don't like the idea of trying to relate, to me I prefer it more as exploring the person/relationship.

Goals; it's about curiosity, fun, and love for me rather than being rooted in fear like they used to be

For me acting doesn't work out, what does is having fun, curiosity, love, and appreciating beauty.

The only times I have trouble are when I follow my ego and I then feel like I'm not being productive?. But it's easy for me to come back from that quickly, knowing that nothing anyone is doing in the world is productive?, and that letting life take you places is what has been the most fun for me, just going with it, not trying to do what society tells you you should, that's all lies

It's all just for fun

Edited August 8, 2022 by Devin

[puporing]

@Devin Thank you I appreciate your input. Been pretty isolated from most of society now and only connecting loosely with most people. And you're right even if I interact with someone, it's not from the ego anymore but from a metaphysical perspective (almost always these days there's that awareness..if not "after the fact").

Acting is not as required around non-human stuff or when you're not directly talking to someone, and you're free to zoom in on any aspects of consciousness.

Acting is required around most people as you lose the ego and realize God, especially if you don't just "forget" it , so the alternative is to trick yourself temporarily. Otherwise you have to pretend that there's separation (even with another awakened being out of respect of their sovereignty and creating a path for connection), and the life stories/worldviews people tell you/want you to adopt with them etc, basically how someone shows up/decide to live their life and how they interact with another is all influenced by these. There's of course degrees.. some you act less than others around, some are more comfortable with you being a "weirdo" than others.

It is a loving gesture to act at least to some extent - accepting & meeting someone where they're at and allowing their own evolution to unfold the way it naturally occurs as much as you can is showing love (and at times showing the truth is love also). And in that way, the "acting" transforms into the real, because the love (through the togetherness however brief the interaction) is real and you're aligning with the love.

The thing is just to limit interactions to what you can handle (as in not make you feel like living in falsehood). The challenge is with close and long-term relations, where many will try to make you like themselves, adopt their beliefs and worldviews, few can respect that there may exist people who think very differently from their own worldviews.. many will start to demonize you for not adopting their perspectives. Well...that can be a problem even without any awakening .People are usually not so good at respecting another's sovereignty...least that's been my experience. On the flip side, the ones who do I am that much more drawn towards..

Edited August 9, 2022 by puporing

[Devin]

12 hours ago, puporing said:

@Devin Thank you I appreciate your input. Been pretty isolated from most of society now and only connecting loosely with most people. And you're right even if I interact with someone, it's not from the ego anymore but from a metaphysical perspective (almost always these days there's that awareness..if not "after the fact").

Acting is not as required around non-human stuff or when you're not directly talking to someone, and you're free to zoom in on any aspects of consciousness.

Acting is required around most people as you lose the ego and realize God, especially if you don't just "forget" it , so the alternative is to trick yourself temporarily. Otherwise you have to pretend that there's separation (even with another awakened being out of respect of their sovereignty and creating a path for connection), and the life stories/worldviews people tell you/want you to adopt with them etc, basically how someone shows up/decide to live their life and how they interact with another is all influenced by these. There's of course degrees.. some you act less than others around, some are more comfortable with you being a "weirdo" than others.

It is a loving gesture to act at least to some extent - accepting & meeting someone where they're at and allowing their own evolution to unfold the way it naturally occurs as much as you can is showing love (and at times showing the truth is love also). And in that way, the "acting" transforms into the real, because the love (through the togetherness however brief the interaction) is real and you're aligning with the love.

The thing is just to limit interactions to what you can handle (as in not make you feel like living in falsehood). The challenge is with close and long-term relations, where many will try to make you like themselves, adopt their beliefs and worldviews, few can respect that there may exist people who think very differently from their own worldviews.. many will start to demonize you for not adopting their perspectives. Well...that can be a problem even without any awakening .People are usually not so good at respecting another's sovereignty...least that's been my experience. On the flip side, the ones who do I am that much more drawn towards..

I don't see why you have to pretend there's separation, to me it's like reading or watching a story, it's a fun adventure, I don't pretend when reading and I still like to

Edited August 9, 2022 by Devin

[Sincerity]

@puporing I hope you are doing okay. I don't really know you, but I'll tell you I think your consciousness and strength to deal with difficulty is admirable. 

I can't say I relate or understand fully because I'm certainly not as awake + I've almost completely fallen back into the dream. But I wanna say I think you're doing great  And good luck.