Self actualization after a bad childhood

[Ulax]

@Leo Gura I saw, in a thread about Teal Swan, that you have to readjust your expectations of people who've had a bad childhood.

I am one of those whose experienced such a childhood, which has left me with having to deal with some circumstances that others do not have to.

I was wondering whether I, and others like, should look to take onboard your teachings differently? I understand its kind of a vague question, but would be curious to hear your thoughts.

I also understand your time may be limited, so answering this may not be possible.

Thank you.

Edited July 10, 2022 by Ulax

[Thought Art]

For starter, seek out teachers therapists and resources to address the trauma and don’t expect Leo’s work to address it. It’s good for big picture and deep understanding but these traumas will hold you back if you don’t get that help elsewhere. 

[Ulax]

2 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

For starter, seek out teachers therapists and resources to address the trauma and don’t expect Leo’s work to address it. It’s good for big picture and deep understanding but these traumas will hold you back if you don’t get that help elsewhere. 

Thanks. That is what I have done extensively over the past few years.

However, one still needs some sense of direction for the other aspects of life, i.e. jobs. And, I don't know of a trauma informed source for that, which is of a similar standard to the teachings on here.

[Leo Gura]

Not differently per se, but you will need a lot more therapy-type work on the trauma to heal it.

[Ulax]

@Leo Gura Okay, thank you

[Ulax]

@JoeVolcano Thanks dude

[spiritual memes]

From my personal experience, trauma healing and shadow work is absolutely mandatory for even the possibility of a happy life if your childhood was traumatic. Leo often mentions to focus on basic self help before spirituality, but doing basic self help with intense childhood trauma is like climbing a mountain with a broken leg. Any change you make to your life will be built upon broken foundations which will corrupt every aspect of your self improvement journey. 

Instead, focusing on spirituality is probably a better idea especially the trauma healing aspects of it. Shadow work is a number 1 priority for people with bad childhoods. The majority of your spiritual journey will likely be healing from these childhood traumas. Expect a LOT of ego backlash. 

There is a silver lining, if you manage you heal yourself, your self actualization will be a piece of cake. The spiritual and self actualization journey requires emotional strength and healing from trauma will give you incredible emotional strength. Its like how defeating a high level boss in the game will make you a better player.

[Leo Gura]

@spiritual memes I wouldn't call that spirituality, I'd call that psychotherapy.

Psychotherapy >> Basic self-help >> Spirituality

That's roughly the proper order of things.

I skip a lot of the psychotherapy because I assume you got that handled. Which of course many people don't.

[Leo Gura]

15 minutes ago, JoeVolcano said:

Although if someone is ready for real spirituality then I would skip the first two, because those are based in how people wrongly believe reality works, not in how it actually works.

Cheers

Yeah, but in practice skipping the first two will produce some very lopsided development and real-world problems.

[spiritual memes]

@Leo Gura

13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@spiritual memes I wouldn't call that spirituality, I'd call that psychotherapy.

Psychotherapy >> Basic self-help >> Spirituality

I think that Psychotherapy is deeply interlinked with spirituality such that it is difficult to do them separately. Spiritual stuff like unconditional self love, awareness of the ego mind, meditation, and energetic work are absolutely vital and serve as a foundation for psychotherapy. It's kind of a strange loop. 

Spirituality>>Psychotherapy >> Basic self-help >> Spirituality>> etc...

[flowboy]

I would call self-love practices actually pseudo-spiritual, because they are ways in which people try to address their trauma (which is not a real fix).

A person who has really processed all their trauma does not need to practice self-love, or even have a concept of it. It is a given. Never need to think about it again.

Edited July 11, 2022 by flowboy

[Superfluo]

@Ulax Check out my posts on healing

[Razard86]

22 hours ago, flowboy said:

I would call self-love practices actually pseudo-spiritual, because they are ways in which people try to address their trauma (which is not a real fix).

A person who has really processed all their trauma does not need to practice self-love, or even have a concept of it. It is a given. Never need to think about it again.

Totally agree completely. Except for psuedo-spiritual, I think it is the essence of Spirituality. My path of psychology is what led me to Spirituality similar to how it did for Carl Jung. They are so deeply linked I don't even know how we can separate them. But yes I agree if we process our trauma then Self-Love becomes your reality that you don't have to practice it, you've already become it.

Edited July 12, 2022 by Razard86

[Ulax]

On 11/07/2022 at 4:04 AM, Leo Gura said:

@spiritual memes I wouldn't call that spirituality, I'd call that psychotherapy.

Psychotherapy >> Basic self-help >> Spirituality

That's roughly the proper order of things.

I skip a lot of the psychotherapy because I assume you got that handled. Which of course many people don't.

Thank you. I can't tell you how useful that is to hear from you