Trip Report 02 - 2.0g Magic Mushrooms

[Grant6]

Overall this was a beautiful trip

PRE-TRIP

I was actually pretty nervous the day before I tripped. I wasn't sure if it was the right decision but ultimately I made the decision and it was definitely the correct one

 

THOUGHTS DURING THE TRIP

< > = post trip elaboration

10:30am: ate 2g dried mushrooms

10:39: I have a lot to offer. I love who I am. I am a gift to the world

10:53: head feels... lighter? Like I can tell something is different. Slight urge to throw up, but not really

11:05: it's a gradual onset. Right now everything feels like... slow a bit. I sort of saw the patterns on my bed moving a bit. And I just saw the letters on this piece of paper flowing back and forth like grass in the wind. My body feels a bit weak. I think because I need to eat.

11:14: It's boredom but I have to create the interest. What am I passionate about? Also I am a bit sleepy. Low energy right now.

there's nothing I feel like doing. What do I do? Sleep lmao. love

In spite of how I feel, I have to keep going

I'm much more asleep <metaphysical sense> than I thought

**Life is literally whatever you make it <I then began to dance to some music I put on>

11:27: who is in control? continue to read but don't forget to stay in touch with whatever this is haha <idk what I was saying here>

What is reality?

I feel like this psychedelic is exposing me because I say I'm into personal development but I have nothing to show for it. What do I need to do?

**I feel like I've been trying to put off an image to people, instead of being me

11:37: I get tempted to look at spiritual video <I wanted to watch one of Leo's videos I think>

I see why not everybody has a deep trip every time they take mushrooms. It's because its literally whatever you make it. If you don't have that intent then the mushrooms won't show you

12:40pm: Life feels like a story that I'm creating but I have no idea how deep the story goes

12:50: sat at piano <I just played one note, and it was so magical, it felt like being a child again but even better>

12:59: I have the urge to talk to other people

1:00: Toilets are funny

1:04: Most I see why mushrooms are twisty <I can't explain it in words, but it almost felt like I was going into an infinite loop>

**There's a contour to the mushrooms that's so beautiful. Like they could have been created any other way but they weren't

I feel like I've been slackin <with personal development>

Who am I? almost don't even <incomplete sentence>

What is existence?

**Failure is beautiful

1:22: time slows. I don't know shit <began entering profound state of not-knowing, but didn't quite get there>

What is art? How deep does art go?

1:28: My arms and legs feel so funny. I could sit here and question everything

1:30: What's the point of life?* Life feels very magical rn. These candles also smell really good.

**I need to trip more often. Not cause it feels good but I want to understand wtf is going on.

I created other people?? Sounds crazy af

What is time? <I then stared at the time, and it changed from 1:47 --> 1:48, but time didn't... move? I kind of felt the illusion of time but didn't go too deep into it>

What is confidence? I'm looking at it.

 

 

INSIGHTS & THOUGHTS COMING DOWN

1. I am creating reality

2. I contemplated about what confidence is too. And almost immediately I got my answer. I’m looking at it. Confidence is whatever you see in front of you. If it has the will to exist, it is confident. So what this means is that in order to be more confident, you just have to be it. You can't have any shame either from

3. During the come down of the trip, I felt like a little stressed actually because... life is constantly unfolding. It’s like we are in an infinitely unraveling story, and I want the story to be perfect. But it’s not perfect. And that’s ok! In fact, it’s precisely the imperfection that makes it perfect. Very counterintuitive.

4. I’ll admit it is nice to be back in the dream. I notice I adopted this negative connotation to “life as a dream,” like that’s a bad thing. Like coming back down from the trip is a bad thing or something, and I think that created a little anxiety and stress on my come down. But this is where half of the work is, at the human-level of consciousness. Whether it is a dream or not, why does that even matter? It’s all there is. Speaking of the come down, I noticed my vision was a little bit weird, as if I was looking at a computer all day and I could still see the lines.

5. One thing the psychedelics taught me is that I love story telling. Another facet to my life purpose. The only thing is how do I want to tell stories? Side note also I made it important not to look at my computer during the trip, but consequently I only wrote things down with pen and paper, which is much slower than typing. Painfully slow. So I did miss having that. I think text time I will allow myself to type so I can get my thoughts down faster.

6. Leo I applaud you for your work here. I had a conversation after the trip with one of my friends, and trying to communicate this stuff with others is so challenging, but you’ve come as close as anyone I’ve ever seen to articulating it so well. Like psychedelics makes me admire your work even more, and I’ve been following you for 6 years. It’s very inspiring. During my trip I thought about your blogpost, the only question is why, the only answer is love. Life should just end right there ahaha but of course it doesn’t. That’s the short answer, and everything in life is just the long answer to the question, but ultimately it always goes back to love. 

7. Oddly enough, I just got a sex insight. I have a girlfriend, and in the bedroom I could be doing a lot more teasing and foreplay. We tend to just get right to it, and I think that’s why it’s been feeling a little boring or “vanilla”. 

8. Also I realized in my interactions with people, I tend to approach it from the perspective that there is always something to learn from the other person. Good, right? Well, I see how it can backfire because that can make it seem like the other person holds all the value, and I completely ignore the value that I can provide the other person. I think this has led to me undermining or completely neglecting the value that I can provide to others. I hold value that I am keeping from other people by not sharing it with others.

 

PS: God is the ultimate jokster, and I love God for it

Leo’s video, Humanity is the bullshitting animal, is spot on 

 

9. Also, reality is so amazing. I’m honestly just so happy to have “experienced” everything I have so far on psychedelics. Everything else from here is like icing on the cake for me. I feel a lot of bliss.

10. I was also aware of something else. Psychedelics usually only last 3-6 hours. But I was aware that it could literally last for infinity if I wanted it to. The 3-6 hours is just a safety net for us so that we don’t go mad. It’s literally just an excuse we created but a wise excuse. Then I thought about it. Is the point of taking more and more psychedelics to stretch our capacity to be in that higher state of consciousness for longer, while also maintaining survival? So in other words, psychedelics is the bridge between higher consciousness and baseline human survival consciousness, and the goal is to slowly strengthen the bridge so that we can come from a more loving place in mundane life? Not sure if that makes sense but I like the analogy of psychedelics being a bridge between God and humans, and the more psychedelics you take (with the right intentions of course), it slowly blurs the boundary between God and Human, until finally it comes together. I haven’t experienced that yet, but I am very open to the experience. I’m in no rush to see God but am very excited at the thought of it

11. Also language. I think it’s interesting how much language has to do with understanding reality. I think a big part of Leo’s work is mastering language, and being able to use the right words in order to convey all the advanced topics, but of course the words themselves are second order to the actual thing that is being talked about. So I wonder how the future of humanity will deal with that issue, what kind of new language could emerge in order to integrate higher consciousness? 

12. I had the intention “to be creative & to learn how to love myself and others more.” But in retrospect, the secret intention I had was to learn “how am I creating reality?” and I definitely got a little taste of it. But I have yet to go fully down that rabbit hole.

 

TAKEAWAYS FOR FUTURE TRIPS

> I think if I take 2.5, I will be biting off more than I can chew. I think I want to just take 1.5 or 2 again and see the similarities/differences in experience before I move up to 2.5g. Also I think I will need a more grounded, genuine intention before I up the dose so I have a strong anchor to fall on if I need it. 

> Also I realized not to underestimate the power of a good affirmation. I am going to start saying affirmations every day because something I became aware of during the psychedelic is the link between your thoughts and reality, namely how thoughts literally manifest within reality. Given time (and other factors im not aware of currenlty). I don’t understand the full depths of this yet but the connection is definitely there. Simply changing your thoughts can change the whole trajectory of one’s life. And an easy way to do that with little investment is saying affirmations everyday, but actually believing it when you say it, not just saying it mechanically like a robot. And if you don’t believe it, you gotta just fake it til you make it, and eventually you will start to believe it, then it will become your reality.

> Also I did this trip solo, and I think I like to keep it that way. Having other people really is distracting and counterproductive to the experience. Unless said person is very aligned with you in some way. Like the only person I would want to do psychedelics with is my girlfriend, I think that would be a beautiful experience, and on a lower dose like 1g or 1.5 at the most. There’s no need to go higher than that. I’m not gonna be questioning reality too deeply with her, more so just basking in it so I wouldn’t want the dose to be too high.

> I need to read more books, and also I have been too conservative with psychedelics. I have been sort of protecting the experience a lot if that makes sense, but I am ready to do psychedelics a little more often, and I am still going to be wise when deciding when I do them. But I think it would be beneficial for me to take a psychedelic again (1.5g most likely) in maybe one month, instead of waiting 3 or more months.

> I need to create more magic in my life. I have to insert the magic into life myself though, I can't expect life to hand me magical shit on a silver platter

 

Edited July 10, 2022 by Grant6

[Grant6]

Accidentally hit submit without finishing, how do I delete a post? Lol

[Leo Gura]

@Grant6 Good work!

[Grant6]

@Leo Gura  Thanks Leo!

[Leo Gura]

16 minutes ago, Grant6 said:

Accidentally hit submit without finishing, how do I delete a post? Lol

You can edit your posts for 48 hours.

[Matthew85]

@Grant6 Really enjoyed reading this Grant. Thank you for posting it!

[Grant6]

@Matthew85 Thanks for reading!

[OBEler]

@Grant6 haha I am also nervous one day before until eating the shrooms. 

Directly after eating I am not nervous anymore because I am in for a ride. 

However before the peak I get always nervous again and after the peak also because I dont know if a bigger wave is coming. This is something I dont like from shrooms. On allad I know when I reached the peak and when I come down

 

 

[Grant6]

@OBEler To me it's almost literally like a roller coaster - when you're slowly moving higher and higher to the top, that's the most nerve racking part. But then once the roller coaster starts, you're past the point of no return so you might as well go along with it, then it's actually enjoyable.

Interesting I've never experienced another bigger wave after the peak, I didn't even know that's possible on mushrooms.

[OBEler]

@Grant6 it comes in waves but which wave is the highest, you really dont know. Could be the first, second or the fifth wave