Bad trip on LSD

[OBEler]

@Blackhawk How old are you? Just curious

 

130 is perfect for first time. Have a good trip!

[Blackhawk]

2 minutes ago, Judy2 said:

@Blackhawk Keep waiting if you took the whole 130, may take some time if it's your first. 

You might notice your thoughts wandering off or becoming more fluent, or there may be slight changes in your mood.

Visually it's not gonna be as extravagant as you may expect it to be, so don't rely on that alone.

Hm okay.

Just now, OBEler said:

@Blackhawk How old are you? Just curious

 

130 is perfect for first time. Have a good trip!

33. You?

[Asayake]

Sometimes it can be more about what you feel and think rather than about what you see, atleast it's like that for me. Effects will become noticeable usually after 60-90 minutes after intake. Enjoy your trip

 

Edit: I would like to add, don't take more, wait to feel some effects first. It's highly unlikely you'll feel nothing if you didn't get scammed with fake stuff, which is also unlikely.

Edited July 10, 2022 by Asayake

[Blackhawk]

4 minutes ago, Asayake said:

Sometimes it can be more about what you feel and think rather than about what you see, atleast it's like that for me. Effects will become noticeable usually after 60-90 minutes after intake. Enjoy your trip

 

Edit: I would like to add, don't take more, wait to feel some effects first. It's highly unlikely you'll feel nothing if you didn't get scammed with fake stuff, which is also unlikely.

I see. Thanks.

Yea, I'm starting to feel pleasant effects now.

[OBEler]

@Blackhawk@Blackhawk I am 36.

how was your first trip?

 

 

[Blackhawk]

Unfortunately it didn't go well.

Not well at all.

I was in hell.

Not even Hitler would deserve what I experienced.

But I guess I'm glad that I finally came back to reality.

 

I called 911 because I desperately wanted help.

The cops and ambulance came, the cops damaged my door when they tried to get in, so I have to buy a new door. And most likely my neighbours saw and heard the drama.

And then I got locked in a "jail" where they keep too intoxicated people.

I will probably lose my driver's license and my job because of this. Even when I didn't drive. Because such is the law in Sweden. They count you as "unreliable driver".

Hopefully I don't get charged for sexual assault too. Since it "was all my dream"/"they were me" I figured why not try something with the nurses. Of course that's not something which I would ever do as sober. I completely lost sense of reality. I don't remember much of it at all.

 

So yeah.. I will never in my life take psychedelics again. They just aren't for me. And I think that I will completely give up seeking for truth. It's a mystery. Maybe normal science is the best method. Solid, "physical" and real reality is so much more attractive now.

My set and setting was good, and I respected the drug, yet it went so wrong.

And I'm not gonna try any lower doses. I don't even want to risk any of this happening again. It's over.

I'm sorry.

I'm glad if psychedelics works better for you people.

Edited July 11, 2022 by Blackhawk

[Blackhawk]

I'm pretty sure that not even a trip sitter would have helped.

I talked on phone with my online girlfriend, thinking that she could maybe calm me down, but it had zero effect.

I just hope that I wont get a mental illness from this. I want to recover fully from this.

[Realms of Wonder]

Hey, sounds like it was extremely challenging, sorry you went though that.

 

if you can stomach it, love and accept yourself through it, be with yourself, giving yourself attention and acceptance through the pain.

I can imagine the feelings of regret, mixed with guilt, plus a whole spectrum of other feelings, I have been there. Even if it doesn't make sense do your best to love yourself right now. It may not lead to the feelings going away, but it may help you begin the healing process.

 

Be strong, Stay true, Much Love  

[Blackhawk]

17 minutes ago, Realms of Wonder said:

Hey, sounds like it was extremely challenging, sorry you went though that.

 

if you can stomach it, love and accept yourself through it, be with yourself, giving yourself attention and acceptance through the pain.

I can imagine the feelings of regret, mixed with guilt, plus a whole spectrum of other feelings, I have been there. Even if it doesn't make sense do your best to love yourself right now. It may not lead to the feelings going away, but it may help you begin the healing process.

 

Be strong, Stay true, Much Love  

Thanks, yea I will try to love myself, and others.

[OBEler]

@Blackhawk ok this sounds really Bad. what exactly was hell so that you called the cops? What was bothering you

 

Why Do you think you will loose your Job because of this? You dont drive in your Job, Do you? 

You said you already had experiences with previous psychedelics? Then I ask me why you reacted so strong on this substance 

Some more thoughts on this:

You have right now an ego backslash, dont worry you will be fine after grounding yourself. Be Kind to yourself, you did nothing wrong. How could you prevent this anyway, you are in good age, had a good starter dose, good setting, respect for the substance and you reached out help here in this forum. You have done everything right and still you had an bad experience. Now it is time to find out why, take a break from Spirituality and come back again in small steps

[OBEler]

@Carl-Richard now it seems he should have worried about 

13 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

That is overdose territory. You won't have to worry about that ?

 

Edited July 11, 2022 by OBEler

[StarStruck]

Pop some MDMA to ease the LSD trip. I’m going to try it soon. 

[Asayake]

Hey, very sorry to hear you had this bad of a reaction and experience. I think if you ever try psychedelics in the future again maybe it would be best to do with some kind of guide or therapist who is experienced with psychedelics and knows how to help you when you're in a bad place. It sounds like psychedelics can be more challenging for you compared to most people. It could be that you're very sensitive to them and 130ug had a stronger reaction for you than for most. I would go with a much lower dose if you do them again in the future.

I have full understanding of how this could scare you off psychedelics and the pursuit of truth for a while, it sounds like an awful experience. It seems sound that you stay off psychedelics and work on yourself in other ways instead for the time being. As you said, loving yourself and others. There's a lot of things that can make life deep and worthwhile without psychedelics.

Maybe all of this can still be helpful for you in some ways when some time has passed. You seem to have gone through something really scary and that can be a valuable life experience even if it doesn't feel like it at first. You might want to look into trip integration and recontextualization to see if you can find a way to integrate your experience in a way that makes you stronger, by making this whole thing something that you learn and grow from as a person, turning the experience you had into a net gain over time.

You never know, sometimes bad trips can help you the most afterwards. It can create a sense of urgency to not take life for granted and to work towards a better future for yourself. Now that you're safe and done with psychedelics you can start working on life in other ways. The coming week I advice you to take it easy on yourself, eat some vegetables, meat, fish, eggs, strawberries etc to help your body get the nutrients it needs. Drink enough water. Rest, maybe watch some TV show you like. The week after a trip you can feel more tired than usual because the intensity of the experience takes a toll on you, I think it's important to give yourself some time to rest for a bit.

All the love Blackhawk, I'm looking forward to hearing more from you in the future. Take care of yourself and your loved ones.

[Hello from Russia]

 

 

Edited July 11, 2022 by Hello from Russia

[Blackhawk]

Well, thanks all.

[something_else]

@Blackhawk Out of curiosity, why did you feel like you had to call the police/ambulance?

Do you remember the feeling that actually made you do that?

[Blackhawk]

11 minutes ago, something_else said:

@Blackhawk Out of curiosity, why did you feel like you had to call the police/ambulance?

Do you remember the feeling that actually made you do that?

I thought I was dying, or was already dead, and was kinda "stuck" in floating between different universes in the multiverse. My sense of reality and time was gone.

I just wanted some help. In any way, to get back to reality or something.

I'm glad that I'm back in this solid predictable reality again.

[Carl-Richard]

26 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

I thought I was dying, or was already dead, and was kinda "stuck" in floating between different universes in the multiverse. My sense of reality and time was gone.

I don't want to say "I told you so", but that was the truth you thought you wanted. It's not easy. Transcending the mind is nothing short of losing your mind. And we're in the same boat. There is a reason I stopped doing meditation and psychedelics.

[Blackhawk]

1 minute ago, Carl-Richard said:

I don't want to say "I told you so", but that was the truth you thought you wanted. It's not easy. Transcending your mind is nothing short of losing your mind. And we're in the same boat. There is a reason I stopped meditation and psychedelics.

I think it was just delusion.

[Carl-Richard]

23 minutes ago, Blackhawk said:

I think it was just delusion.

Your reaction and resistance to the feelings is the delusion. The raw feeling or experience of dying is not. The raw experience of time disappearing is not. What do you think ego death, no-self, "The Now" is?