Extreme confusion on mushroom trip, scariest experience I had.

[TheSpiritualBunny]

Hello, so I tried all kinds of psychedelics, LSD, ETH-LAD, several Psilocin derivitives and phenethylamines like 2C-B, but I find the by far most intense psychedelic besides 5-MeO-DMT I've tried is Psilocybin. I used LSD up to 750ug, ETH-LAD up to 275ug, as well as 2C-B up to 45mg, but 3g of mushrooms are much scarier for me then any of this, even 1g often gives me bad anxiety, half of my trips on it were pretty bad, while on the other psychedelics I rarely had bad experiences.

The worst one was my last mushroom experience over half a year ago. It was a dose of 3 or 3.5g (not sure), and at first it took so long to come on, for the first 2 hours it was super weak but after the 2 hour make it suddenly got super intense. So far it was pretty fun, even the peak was great. All kinds of dualities and differences between things seem to melt and dissapear, everything in my mind and around me seemed to melt together. The scary thing started when I was starting to come down, this melting together of all concepts started to gave me extreme confusion, it was such severe confusion that it was terrifying. It started when I tried to text a friend and I couldn't decide what words to use, I didn't know what wording would be best, all I could type was "everything is so confusing, I have no idea what's happening". I had no idea why something would be good or bad, and when I would try to calm myself down I would thing "Why should I calm down and meditate? It makes no difference if I panik instead." I was questioning why I was here, what is even happening in this existence.

I tried to distract myself and continued watching one of Leo's videos about self deception, and I remember him saying something like "Whatever self deception you would find in Trump, you would find times a thousand in yourself" which freaked me out even more, I couldn't understand why we would find self deception in ourselves. I started restlessly running though the house feeling like I'm gonna freak out, I even got scared that I would kill myself because I thought I went insane., so I ended up taking some xanax to end this, which brought me back within just 20 minutes.

This was so scary that I haven't taken mushrooms since then, except for 0.25g doses, but even these would give me anxiety. The weird thing is that this happened when the trip was mostly over, the peak was really amazing. I'm just wondering what happened there? Was I maybe close to some kind of awakening experience or ego death? I would really like to try mushrooms again, but this experience really scared me.

[Leo Gura]

Hehe, yeah... that's how mushrooms are at high doses.

33 minutes ago, TheSpiritualBunny said:

I'm just wondering what happened there?

What happened was your reality was deconstructed and you were left to realize that all knowledge is relative, and that in fact you don't know anything.

In my The Power Of Not-Knowing video I talked about how your whole view of the world is a house of cards that will one day collapse under the right conditions, and how psychedelics will leave you in a profound state of not-knowing. I also said how defensive you are precisely because deep down you feel that your worldview is a house of cards.

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Was I maybe close to some kind of awakening experience or ego death? 

Of course you were. But your fear stopped you from realizing Yourself.

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would really like to try mushrooms again, but this experience really scared me.

Do it again. And again. And again. Until no fear remains.

Facing fear is the bulk of awakening work.

[TheSpiritualBunny]

44 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Hehe, yeah... that's how mushrooms are at high doses.

What happened was your reality was deconstructed and you were left to realize that all knowledge is relative, and that in fact you don't know anything.

In my The Power Of Not-Knowing video I talked about how your whole view of the world is a house of cards that will one day collapse under the right conditions, and how psychedelics will leave you in a profound state of not-knowing. I also said how defensive you are precisely because deep down you feel that your worldview is a house of cards.

Of course you were. But your fear stopped you from realizing Yourself.

Do it again. And again. And again. Until no fear remains.

Facing fear is the bulk of awakening work.

Thanks a lot, that makes sense. The trip right before my ETH-LAD trip where I realized I was God, which was also on 200ug ETH-LAD I also got intense panic out of nowhere during the comeup, it felt like something huge was about to happen, but I couldn't tell what and I had no clue why I was panicking, it made the effects crazy intense. I guess I was close to ego death so that in the trip after I managed to break though that barrier.

I'd like to do it again, but I'm worried that I would freak out again and harm myself, I can see how these trips can get so horrifying that someone would kill themselves to make it end, especially with mushrooms. I think I'm gonna try it with Mescaline instead for now, it feels a bit more gentle.

Btw, what do you think of trip killers like xanax or valium? Do you think there is any situation where it would be appropriate to use them? Since they can be quite addictive.

[Snader]

I can relate. The 3g seems to be such a doorway for me too.

For me, changing the set and settings have seemed to be the key to preventing that chaotic anxiety from kicking in.

If you have the opportunity, I would encourage you to try tripping in a peaceful and remote place, in a place where you have minimum amount of those possible threads, that might lead you to that awful loop. Those threads could be stuff that remind you of your ''normal'' ''civilised'' human life, such as your phone, or just the basic surroundings of where you spend the most of your time anyway. Some grounding work to detach you from everyday activities and obligations a day before a trip is also big.

It would be great to have some room to become a bit ''crazy'', with nothing there to remind you of how relatively ''bad'' it is. By eliminating most of those threads or distractions, it becomes easier to accept the mindfuckery, that would otherwise work against you by twisting your mind.

 

 

[RMQualtrough]

In my experience, I became so confused that I could not determine whether I was enjoying the experience or not. I didn't know whether it was good or bad. As a result my mind ran on a loop of questioning "is this a good or bad trip?" Then "I don't know." Then "it doesn't matter."

I found it very weird and confusing, and did not feel that I gained anything from the experience. I did not use it again. I did use 4-HO-MET and found that insanely visual. I was having full on open eyed hallucinations of a tunnel in Hong Kong and a row of terraced houses.

Maybe you would like that more (it's a mushroom analogue, there are many of them). Though, again, I did not find it insightful, and I did not gain anything from it at all. I never used mushroom-type substances again.

[Loving Radiance]

@TheSpiritualBunny  You got a sense of the Absolute being complete no matter if you do good or evil (because that is a creation).

These concepts of ways to calm down the human are important for human survival. When you're in Infinity then all of this doesn't matter.

Make sure you are stable on the body and identity level because this is how you live.

On 3.7.2022 at 4:00 AM, TheSpiritualBunny said:

freaked me out even more, I couldn't understand why we would find self deception in ourselves. I started restlessly running though the house feeling like I'm gonna freak out, I even got scared that I would kill myself because I thought I went insane., so I ended up taking some xanax to end this, which brought me back

If I had the chance, I would have taken a trip stopper too.

The root solution is to surrender to any thought. It's okay to be insane. It's okay to not differentiate between good/bad, life/death and calm/agitated. Of course, it's essential to do that only with a sitter present or in an environment which is safe.

[TheSpiritualBunny]

On 7/3/2022 at 7:08 PM, RMQualtrough said:

In my experience, I became so confused that I could not determine whether I was enjoying the experience or not. I didn't know whether it was good or bad. As a result my mind ran on a loop of questioning "is this a good or bad trip?" Then "I don't know." Then "it doesn't matter."

I found it very weird and confusing, and did not feel that I gained anything from the experience. I did not use it again. I did use 4-HO-MET and found that insanely visual. I was having full on open eyed hallucinations of a tunnel in Hong Kong and a row of terraced houses.

Maybe you would like that more (it's a mushroom analogue, there are many of them). Though, again, I did not find it insightful, and I did not gain anything from it at all. I never used mushroom-type substances again.

I tried a lot of psychedelics, for me all of these 4-HO Tryptamines were really mild and fun psychedelics, non of them come even close to the intensity of Psilocybin/ psilocin, even though their chemical structures are so similar, psilocin is just much more hardcore then any of it's analogs. TBH I would even say that all these psilocin analogs like 4-HO-MET, 4-HO-DET or 4-HO-MiPT are kinda baby psychedelics, which is so surprising, because psilocin/ psilocybin itself is one of the most hardcore serious psychedelics I've tried.

Edited July 10, 2022 by TheSpiritualBunny

[Leo Gura]

@TheSpiritualBunny Plug some 4-AcO-DMT and it will be more hardcore than mushrooms.

[axiom]

@TheSpiritualBunny 

The madness towards the end of the trip is due to traversing dimensions. You're coming from a timeless dimension into one where time seems to exist, so to begin with you're only able to process a couple of seconds at a time. I see this as the price of entry. But no doubt it can be scary.

Most people don't do psilocybin properly. Blindfold 5g / 6g is the way if you really want to see the other side. This will be much more than shocking. God, the Empyrean, seraphim, souls, etc.

Leave reassuring notes for yourself, as you'll probably forget you were ever even a human, let alone that you've taken anything.

Ideally, have a very caring and reassuring trip sitter.