How to establish and hold sexual tension?

[Nilsi]

Im currently trying to develop my social skills in particular with girls. I have spent the last 4 years mainly focused on pursuing truth and consciousness and thus spent most of my time in isolation, contemplating, meditating i.e. mostly "vertical" development.

I have been starting to go out and socialize more, mainly in the context of social circles i.e. going to house partys and social gatherings.

Im a quite flamboyant and gitty person and im definitely not shy or anxious around people but its quite hard for me to establish an authentic, sexual, man to woman frame. I usually end up creating a rather friendly, playful vibe with the girl and its kind of hard to come back from that or to take it in a direction that would lead to a sexual relationship. Its almost like im taking the sexual tension and energy and transmuting it into words and gestures that make me look more like some kind of excentric philosopher or movie director or whatever. People are definitely drawn to that but I dont want to be some kind of Freddy Mercury figure that people look up to or are entertained by. Its almost unbearable for me to hold all this tension and sexuality in my body in the interaction with the girl and not let it animate me creatively. 

So my question is, how do I show sexual intent and set a man to woman frame without overwhelming the girl with too much female energy that she does not know how to respond to or make sense of.

EDIT: To make it even more explicit: How do I sexually escalate an interaction with a girl when she probably thinks im gay? 

Edited July 1, 2022 by Nilsi

[JonasVE12]

There isn't much 'doing' in this. Rather think about doing less. It's all about feeling into your body, feeling your turn-on energy and letting her feel that as well. When you look at her, allow yourself to sink into her eyes a bit. Take her in. Feel turned on for her. Don't think about it. Just notice what you are already feeling. Some shame, guilt and fear may come up. Now you work through that. Also express directly what you're feeling and thinking about to her. Express sexual intent verbally as well. If you have a problem being direct with your feeling/energy, you can use verbals to guide you into the tension. And now limiting beliefs and negative feelings will come up again. Process them. 

Always keep in back of your mind to connect to your lower body deeply. When you're communicating with her, just in the back of your mind, put like 30% of your attention on your own body. Especially the spine, legs, feet, outside of the body, the pelvis, stomach. Relax into those. Those will ground any nervousness and reactivity when being in sexual tension. It's mostly when you tense up these body parts that you raise up into your head and you become ungrounded and reactively expressive. The lower body parts and the spine/back are the masculine. When you are deeply connected and relaxed into those body parts, playing with sexual tension is easy.

It sounds like your feminine is well developed, which is amazing. You just need more tension skills and grounding. And that you do through connecting with the body more and more while being under tension - such as being direct with a woman. Look at Russel Brand. His feminine is also well developed, but he is grounded under tension. He knows how to look people in the eye with sexual intent and feeling. He transmits that unapologetically and that's why he is attractive. Ultimately you need to become comfortable with your sexual desire and express it unapologetically.

A nice practice to start this is to just start approaching women in public and be unapologetically direct with them. That's tension and now you are learning to become grounded in it.

Also, a nice practice to do as well is to observe other men in public and notice where their energy is located. Some men are up in their head, anxious and nervous. Some are apathetic. Some are confident and grounded. Some are prideful. Some angry. Some are grounded but not feeling much emotion. Feel all those subtle differences. Especially look for men that feel masculine to you. Replicate that energy within yourself. Police men, firemen, navy seals are examples of such men. They are usually very grounded and good with tension. See if you can feel into such people.

[petar8p]

Go out and hang with girls a fuck-ton. 

There is no shortcuts. Your whole reality needs to adapt to them. Perhaps if you have a female friend you can ask to practice with them.

Release any shame you might have and pick a few girls at night to only talk to with sexual intent. Be direct from the start. Then you can slowly move it towards other extreme and find a sweetspot.

Edited July 1, 2022 by petar8p

[Leo Gura]

Step 1: Are you gay? Do you actually get turned on by hot women?

Step 2: Assuming you ain't gay, then when you see a hot woman then you allow yourself to be turned on by her and pursue her from that frame of sexual desire. You're not there to chit-chat, have fun, or play games. You're there to fuck her. Take on that mindset and speak from that place. Look at her like you want to undress her. Make her feel that you desire her body. But do not say anything explicitly sexual.

Step 3: Stop acting gay. Be true to your dick.

- - - - -

In practice you can use a few simple outer game techniques to help you quickly set a man-woman frame.

You can do this by telling her you find her cute, hot, or sexy. You can do this through physical escalation, like taking her and pulling her close into you and putting your hands around her hips. You can also just slowly eye her body up and down like you are assessing her sexiness. Stuff like that.

A good practice to break yourself out of your gay frame is find a hot girl who's dancing on the dance floor, walk up to her directly, look her in the eyes, and then whisper in her ear, "I want you." And then just hold and wait for her reaction without flinching. And when you say, "I want you", make sure you really mean it. Say it like you want to fuck her. And look at her in that way.

You must face your fear of being rejected cold. Girls will reject you cold. And this is good. That means you're being clear about what you want.

Remember, you are not there to be friendly or popular. You are there to create sexual attraction and screen for girls who are down. These are very different aims and intentions. Do not be afraid to be polarizing.

[Bird Larry]

@Leo Gura But does this work on subway stations and malls, not on night clubs. 

[Nilsi]

Thanks guys, I will practice being more blunt and assertive and not be so artsy and fancy all the time.

Im definitely not gay btw  and I get turned on by hot women but I usually dont feel it coming from my dick, it is more an appreciation and awe for the aesthetics of her body or face or just the way she carries herself. I still want to fuck her, dont get me wrong, but thats usually not whats most alive for me when I talk to girls.

[Bird Larry]

14 hours ago, Nilsi said:

Im definitely not gay btw  and I get turned on by hot women but I usually dont feel it coming from my dick, it is more an appreciation and awe for the aesthetics of her body or face or just the way she carries herself.

The way you say this, I might mistake you for being too naive

Edited July 2, 2022 by Bird Larry

[StarStruck]

Don’t tuck your dick behind your legs and you will be sexy 

[UnbornTao]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Be true to your dick.

Slogan for a Dolce Gabbana spot.

Edited July 1, 2022 by UnbornTao

[Leo Gura]

8 hours ago, Bird Larry said:

@Leo Gura But does this work on subway stations and malls, not on night clubs. 

For day time you need to tone it way down.

You can train up your man-woman vibe at the club, then tone it down and transfer it into day.

Really, it's all in the eye contact and the tone you speak to her with. You don't need to get all grabby to demonstrate sexual desire. Doing it by being grabby is the crude, obvious way for a newbie to learn. Then you can move on to more subtle ways.

Get your eye contact to be like fire. This is one of the biggest keys to game. Don't overlook this. You can get girls to sleep with you just with right eye contact. Penetrate her with your eyes.

[Raze]

Try the “how to turn her on” video here

https://davidtianphd.com/masterclass-content/

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sKpXc4UD2mE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRChsxT7p24

[Pav]

13 hours ago, Aleister Crowleyy said:

1. Why is Meagan avoiding eye contact?

Who cares? It's just one girl whose choosing to be closed off for what ever reason, that's her problem, just move on and focus your attention on having fun interactions with the other girls.

13 hours ago, Aleister Crowleyy said:

2. Is being straight and dominant/assertive/leading like I am, a turn off in that environment- or do they see me as a sexual threat because I'm attractive(alot of women say this. I don't see myself as attractive really)?

What does this mean to be a 'sexual threat'? I think you've got some limiting beliefs you need to sort out here. Being attractive is not a threat to women, women want to be around attractive guys.

13 hours ago, Aleister Crowleyy said:

 3. How do I fix this? Use physical escalation on Meagan in super light doses?

No, do not physically escalate on a girl who is so closed off to you. You seem to be obsessing over this one girl and I strongly recommend leting go of those feelings of neediness. Using your awareness find the emotion of neediness/desire for a certain outcome and simply watch it with your consciousness without trying to resist the experience or change it in anyway. Don't think about the emotion or try to verbalise it (feeding your thoughts with energy will only make things worse), simply place your consciousness on the emotion itself and allow yourself to fully feel and let the emotion run it's natural course. After a few minutes you will suddenly find that you feeling lighter and more free. Continue this process every time negative emotions are triggered.