Narcissism

[liamnewsom202]

 

Narcissism is something I think about alot as I worry I have a higher than average dosage of it in my personality. 

How can we learn to truly give up our selves and agendas and empathically serve our environment? I find the issue of narcissism runs uncomfterably and almost existentially deep when you expand the definition of it to account for selfishness as a whole.

I find it screws up my life from anything from dating and realtionships to my various life practices, music-spirituality and all.

Its something we as a collective seem to strongly detest, yet, evidence shows we have an epidemic of it and it runs common. Perhaps it's in our shadow?

I am deliberately tryign to make an effort to take ownership of my own which is honestly highly uncomfterable and threatening sometimes.

 I find the desire to transcend and be rid of it, ends up coming from it its own need to make itself into something it's not.

The goal of my little video project is to take ownership and document this process. Maybe that's something you'd be interested in maybe not.

Guess I'm just curious if anyone else has dug into this in themselves. Is it a normal thing to realize when doing personal development work? How can we better deal with it in ourselves and others? How can we know where our intent lies and cope with its self deception!!

 

 

 

 

[NoSelfSelf]

How does selfishness ruin you life exactly?

[Consept]

I applaud you taking ownership of how you feel and trying to become a better person. I'm not an expert but I don't think you're highly narcissistic, for one a true narcissist would most likely not even be aware of how their actions affect people. Narcissistic personality disorder is ego-syntonic meaning that the person who has it sees at as a part of them and can even enjoy the traits they have, although other people around them might suffer. As oppose to something like ocd where the sufferer is the one that suffers the most and once to be free of it. 

I see why you say you have it and maybe you do have some traits of it I don't know, but Narcissism at its core comes from deep insecurity and its a way to mask it. It's very rare that a full blown Narcissist would be worried about how they affect others and the awareness to point out bad behaviors. So I wouldn't be hard on yourself or even use the label, for whatever reason you've felt like you weren't enough and you've done things that you felt ashamed of to make you feel like you were. I think most people have done that including myself, you're going the right way in terms of building up awareness and taking responsibility and that's all you can do. 

 

[Breakingthewall]

you have to eliminate as much as possible, or totally, the narcissism from you, since it turns you into a puppet. any need for external validation is sapping your life. turning you into a sad clown. if you want to stop being pathetic, become aware of your narcissism and expel it. After that, you can start living with dignity

[liamnewsom202]

thanks guys

 

@NoSelfSelf just makes me see things as means to ends, ends which never come. doesnt feel good. less appreciation and real gratitude and presence with my life. I think leos episode on needy perception is quite applicable. ive noticed how nothing ever felt like it was enough for me

 

@Consept thanks for ur words and inspiration my man, ur appreciated. i am more on the ocd side id bet, i have deep insecurity, shame, not being enough, its certainly an adaptation. i have a hell of a shadow. just thank god i suffered enough to become self aware and realized i was love, and could do better haha. self awareness and ownership has been a blessing

 

@Breakingthewall yeah id agree with the sentiment, i think that we are hard wired for it. its nothing you poof away over night. i dont think receiving validation is a bad thing, or something we shouldnt like or enjoy. the issue is the baggage and desperation.