Going through a HEARTBREAK...am i dumb???

[Philipp]

@marinaaniram This is a journal entry I wrote to myself. I thought I might share it with you. Just know that the pain I am talking about is not only from heartbreak, it also comes from stagnation. 

"Instead of trying to fill the hole [name of my ex] left. Instead of trying to close it as fast as possible. Allow the pain. Allow the sadness. Let it talk to you. Be with it. It is part of you. A very important part even. It can tell you what you are seeking. It can motivate you to grow, to see what you could not see, to feel what you could not feel, to learn what you need to learn. It can transform you. Allow it to transform you."

Edited June 30, 2022 by Philipp

[Vercingetorix]

@marinaaniram  I am also going through a heartbreak so I can share my approach to it.

Motivation: "keep breaking your heart until it opens" - Rumi
I think falling in love is amazing - I see how it develops me spiritually - my compassion for people, my authenticity, my ability to be childlike without ego and defenses, focusing on what's really important - my happiness and bringing good to the world all rise up. 
But getting your heart broken is the true spiritual challenge, the true path to freedom . Can you keep loving the world when your heart gets broken? I find it's a fascinating challenge for me. I find that my love doesn't depend on if I am loved back. But of course it's super tricky - because the automatic reaction of the mind is to all day start visualizing all these negative scenarios of being rejected and if I'm not careful I can easily enter Into self pity.

So my way to deal with it is:
First: allow emotions to rise up and cry! cry! cry! this is the purification process that will allow you to become confidant, authentic, not afraid of rejection in your life because you accept and face the worst. "Sad music" helps me connect to my emotions and cry (I can share with you my playlist haha).
Also, the sadness that I feel - I can feel the love behind it because truly - "Sadness is the shadow of love". so I embrace it and actually enjoys it.

Second, guard yourself from self pity thoughts - no need to repress them of course but don't let them take control. don't indulge in them. When you notice them make a conscious effort to think about something productive. One good way for me is to think about other girls, to go out and meet other girls, etc. I find it supporting

Third I contemplate about the girl/boy that broke my heart and about love: If I truly Love them don't I want the best for them? If the best for them is not with me - why will I not be happy for them? am I Selfish this way? why? (trying to understand myself, not judging). this contemplation often leads me to peace of the situation (at least until the next wave ). can I still love the person even if he/she doesn't love me back? 

I would also contemplate - Why do you feel stupid? Is blaming yourself spiritual?  those are interesting reactions. 

good luck on the broken heart path haha

[marinaaniram]

@Vercingetorix Thank u so much! i want the playlist.....

[ALLIS]

On 6/28/2022 at 5:56 PM, marinaaniram said:

so i got heartbroken lol

and as a person who is into spirituality, i blame myself for feeling like shit
like i m not completely awaken yet, but i understand that it s all a mind game, an illusion and SELFISHNESS (me being selfish)

being depressed about it is just my ego constantly showing that it got hurt

i really wanna reach the level when i dont care of things like that, but everytime i sit down at meditation i just burst in tears i feel SOOO STUUUPID

 

Go treat it just like its meditation. Don't try to escape it you will suppress it and it will manifest in who knows what way. I got recently same situation and I was trying to escape it and its not good to do that. Instead feel you are hurt and that's fine. When emotions calm down now its time To analyze what should I do next time better. If he was narcissist, please be careful because this kind of people can make you go crazy, so don't try to analyze it too much and try to find faults in you, sometimes guy was abusive no need to find your faults there. See it as a process be patient. 

 

Hope this helps much love <3

[bejapuskas]

@marinaaniram  Society makes you believe so much shit about relationships, it is called *amatonormativity*, search up that term, it is really interesting. Like for example "the one who loves less wins in love", for god's sake, find someone who you love equally as they love you, isn't that common sense? If you do not love somebody and just stay with them, because you are winning by them not leaving you, by giving you lower quality love, you're by definition settling for the worse.

[Razard86]

On 6/28/2022 at 11:56 AM, marinaaniram said:

so i got heartbroken lol

and as a person who is into spirituality, i blame myself for feeling like shit
like i m not completely awaken yet, but i understand that it s all a mind game, an illusion and SELFISHNESS (me being selfish)

being depressed about it is just my ego constantly showing that it got hurt

i really wanna reach the level when i dont care of things like that, but everytime i sit down at meditation i just burst in tears i feel SOOO STUUUPID

and i dont wanna go through a regular heartbreak recovey steps when u put yourself out there to the world, meet new people, do as much activities as u can

i wanna "do nothing" and reach the state of fulfillment through meditatioin

seems hard though

 

please tell me it is possible guys... thanks much love

Its definitely possible but growth is a process. Wanting to be there already is ego, ego is always coming up with stories about where to go, what to do, and what to be. How you know you are in ego is whenever you are focused on anything besides the present moment, when you are dealing with labels, ideologies, opinions, and arguing about which is better or worse. Ego always has an opinion, and thinks it knows. Your true self has no opinion, it just is, and it accepts everything because it recognizes everything is what it is. Your true self doesn't believe in limits, it doesn't believe in ego, it imagines all this to experience the contrast of what it naturally is.

So be patient with yourself, love yourself, accept yourself, and accept your pain. 

The Spiritual Path can be boiled down to two things. 

1. Acceptance to what is, no matter the experience. 

2. And facing the unknown/relinquishing control.

If you can embody these two concepts everyday you are doing fine.

[Danioover9000]

@marinaaniram

On 6/28/2022 at 4:56 PM, marinaaniram said:

so i got heartbroken lol

and as a person who is into spirituality, i blame myself for feeling like shit
like i m not completely awaken yet, but i understand that it s all a mind game, an illusion and SELFISHNESS (me being selfish)

being depressed about it is just my ego constantly showing that it got hurt

i really wanna reach the level when i dont care of things like that, but everytime i sit down at meditation i just burst in tears i feel SOOO STUUUPID

and i dont wanna go through a regular heartbreak recovey steps when u put yourself out there to the world, meet new people, do as much activities as u can

i wanna "do nothing" and reach the state of fulfillment through meditatioin

seems hard though

 

please tell me it is possible guys... thanks much love

   No, you're not dumb, that's natural to feel positive and negative emotions, like heart break. Allow yourself to feel and be in that state until you process those feelings.

   Unless it's very strong, go and seek some professional help like a relationship councilor or some other expert. 

[Sine]

"The zen master does not become a zen master by not having any chaos inside her anymore, but by becoming okay with whatever chaos there might be."

- quite by someone that used to teach me yoga

[Danioover9000]

@Sine

1 minute ago, Sine said:

"The zen master does not become a zen master by not having any chaos inside her anymore, but by becoming okay with whatever chaos there might be."

- quite by someone that used to teach me yoga

   I'm sorry, but zen masters don't teach yoga, Yogis do.