Going through a HEARTBREAK...am i dumb???

[marinaaniram]

so i got heartbroken lol

and as a person who is into spirituality, i blame myself for feeling like shit
like i m not completely awaken yet, but i understand that it s all a mind game, an illusion and SELFISHNESS (me being selfish)

being depressed about it is just my ego constantly showing that it got hurt

i really wanna reach the level when i dont care of things like that, but everytime i sit down at meditation i just burst in tears i feel SOOO STUUUPID

and i dont wanna go through a regular heartbreak recovey steps when u put yourself out there to the world, meet new people, do as much activities as u can

i wanna "do nothing" and reach the state of fulfillment through meditatioin

seems hard though

 

please tell me it is possible guys... thanks much love

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eit85FAj4wg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVqANXVTLN4

http://happinessbeyondthought.blogspot.com/2012/05/surrendering-i-letting-go-of-suffering.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MU1Rp184IT4

[Bird Larry]

I get heart broken too. But for a man, I wouldn't look so good to express these things to others, would it. 

 

I would suggest, there are not any "method" to non-attachment. If we're searching for a "method" to be truthful, if we're searching for a "method" to be integral, already we've made the mistake.

 

"spirituality" wouldn't fulfill us. True spirituality is when we both live in the real world, but at the same time contemplate and meditate. The physical world is just as spiritual as you and I meditating

 

Edited June 28, 2022 by Bird Larry

[Philipp]

I got heart broken 3 weeks ago (4 year relationship). Personally I accept feeling sad. I am happy if I cry, I find it's quite a reliving mechanism. I try to use meditation skills, to let go of useless needy thoughts like ("I need her back", "I will never be happy without her", "Nobody can give me what she could", etc.). Those are some pretty useless, false, needy thoughts. Just move on. If you feel you lost something, just consider that you can create that thing you want with someone new eventually. Everything you miss about the relationship, you can recreate, if you put in the effort. Yet I also use this break up to detach myself from this desire of approval by a girlfriend. It really stilled my hunger to grow as a person. I believe I will grow a lot from being alone for a while. 

Edited June 28, 2022 by Philipp

[Nilsi]

Don't beat yourself up for having emotions. Feel into the heartbreak and the beauty of it, that's what it's about.

[NoSelfSelf]

Its possible for the one who believes ?

[Kksd74628]

@marinaaniram

All traumas and feelings go away by feeling them enough, accepting them and not trying to push them away. Therefore you should be in a state you're right now and trying to be relaxed in it. Point is not to gain state where it is easy to relax, but to train your relaxing skills so you can pull them out in all scenarios. Accept the negative feelings you've when you meditate and continue until they dissolve into nothingness. Lastly it is possible to meditate yourself to better life.

With love -joNi-

[Kksd74628]

@DefinitelyNotARobot

2 hours ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

You wouldn't call a child stupid for feeling emotions. You would give it a hug and be fully present with its suffering.

Someone has watched JulienHimself and remembered a lesson ?.

Edited June 28, 2022 by Kksd74628

[Carl-Richard]

5 hours ago, marinaaniram said:

i really wanna reach the level when i dont care of things like that, but everytime i sit down at meditation i just burst in tears i feel SOOO STUUUPID

Crying in meditation is the best thing you can ever do.

[Leo Gura]

Breakup is a chemical state. You will not be able to just ignore it through meditation. You have to feel it and let the chemicals work through your body for a few weeks. There are also lessons there for you to learn. You will experience suffering any time you invest a lot of yourself into a thing and then lose it.

Be careful using spirituality to avoid feeling feelings. Don't bypass the feeling of loss.

[aurum]

7 hours ago, marinaaniram said:

i really wanna reach the level when i dont care of things like that, but everytime i sit down at meditation i just burst in tears i feel SOOO STUUUPID

Honestly this is probably the best thing you could be doing.

My breakup advice is almost always the same. Go sit somewhere and do nothing for a while.

Your mind is going to spin all sorts of painful thoughts. You’ll probably cry until you have a headache. All normal.

Just be with your pain. Like the same way you would be with your young daughter if she was going through a hard breakup.

[JTL]

@Leo Gura do the same apply for other feelings aswell, e.g sadness, ? 

[Carl-Richard]

2 minutes ago, JTL said:

@Leo Gura do the same apply for other feelings aswell, e.g sadness, ? 

You should not use meditation to avoid anything. Then you're doing it wrong. Meditation teaches you the exact opposite: to face reality head on.

[Prakhar]

Just made a post yesterday. Perhaps it would help...

"Why do I feel so much"? "How can I control my emotions"? I wondered if I was alone in this overwhelming sensitivity towards emotions.

Not paying attention to my emotions and not knowing what to do with them, I took it all out on the outside world with my intense, destructive fire.

Then I found out that in fact, I have a superpower. I could tune into the subtlest to the most extreme feelings, so I could understand them, learn to use them as guides, and transmute them into creative energy and passionate love.

Thanks to my emotions, now I know with crystal clarity when I'm out of alignment with my true self and when I'm on the right path.

When an unsettling emotion arrives, I treat it as a friend who asks me to turn inward to find the truth and the love in the situation, so I can release my grip and be truly free.

I thought I found liberation in escaping my emotions, but then I discovered my true power in surrendering to them, listening to them, embracing them, and loving the fuck out of them.

[8gates]

@Leo Gura leo do you sometimes still experience feelings like loneliness from time to time?

Edited June 29, 2022 by 8gates
Gghh

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, JTL said:

@Leo Gura do the same apply for other feelings aswell, e.g sadness, ? 

Yes. This work is about feeling deeper, not becoming a Terminator. Don't bypass your feelings. FEEL them. This requires courage, strength, and consciousness.

Feeling does mean you have to act on them or be reactive or create bunch of drama.

7 minutes ago, 8gates said:

@Leo Gura leo do you sometimes still experience feelings like loneliness from time to time?

Of course

[Snader]

Don't flush the sad feelings down the toilet. feel into them. Feel them completely. Let yourself be emotional. It's hard for few weeks, but those feelings will morph into strength and become an asset for your spiritual journey. Those feelings are there to heal you.

[marinaaniram]

@Judy2 THANK U!!!!

[marinaaniram]

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[RendHeaven]

On 6/28/2022 at 8:56 AM, marinaaniram said:

please tell me it is possible guys... thanks much love

It's possible, but your desire to avoid/bypass pain and suffering is just more selfishness lol.

As everyone has been saying already, you simply must feel the hurt. No way around it.

Paradoxically, this is the most blissful way forward. Running away or putting up walls will double the pain.