Skipping Sex And Intimate Relationships In Maslow's Pyramid

[Haloman]

Half a year i’ve been single (after 5 years of relationships). Like Leo said in yesterday’s video - break up from that person – if them have a gambling addiction. Shame that i was the one, who had it. Because of meditation, i’ve overcamed it. I’m 27 and i don’t have a car, because of my gambling and until this years June i’ve to pay my credits. Most of my friends have girlfriends and if i go to clubs with some of my friends, we usually get drunk and it’s hard to approach girls in that state. But it’s hard to approach sober either (actually haven’t tried)  because i feel such a loser because of that i don’t have a car and my financial situation. Who girl would like to meet 27 year old man and go to him with public transport after just one night of knowing him? I would be really happy if i could skip sex and intimate relationships from Maslow’s pyramid of needs, but it’s harder than i thought.

This or next week i’m gonna to try mushrooms for the first time. I know that i can’t use them like escaping from life and problems but i really want to generate my consciousness work to get bigger fulfillment from that than from relationships.

Any opinions from your point of view?

[Live Life Liam]

4 hours ago, Haloman said:

Half a year i’ve been single (after 5 years of relationships). Like Leo said in yesterday’s video - break up from that person – if them have a gambling addiction. Shame that i was the one, who had it. Because of meditation, i’ve overcamed it. I’m 27 and i don’t have a car, because of my gambling and until this years June i’ve to pay my credits. Most of my friends have girlfriends and if i go to clubs with some of my friends, we usually get drunk and it’s hard to approach girls in that state. But it’s hard to approach sober either (actually haven’t tried)  because i feel such a loser because of that i don’t have a car and my financial situation. Who girl would like to meet 27 year old man and go to him with public transport after just one night of knowing him? I would be really happy if i could skip sex and intimate relationships from Maslow’s pyramid of needs, but it’s harder than i thought.

This or next week i’m gonna to try mushrooms for the first time. I know that i can’t use them like escaping from life and problems but i really want to generate my consciousness work to get bigger fulfillment from that than from relationships.

Any opinions from your point of view?

The mushrooms will probably change your life commitments drastically if you take them correctly so get ready to see reality in a completely different way. 

Also I think it is possible to skip sex but not so sure about intimate relationships so soon especially if you haven't achieved spiritual liberation. If you still believe your a separate self its going to hard to not feel alone if you cut off deep loving connections from your life. Good thing about this is you have one less distraction from actualising your life in the way you want. 

I would personal recommend doing what feels right to you even if it is counter intuitive. Only pursue getting a girlfriend if its truly authentic to you but not just because your friends have one. If you do though then going to clubs is not a good way to find out. Be creative in the places you go to like events, festivals, conventions. What are your interests and focus on going places related to that like for example if you love art then the best place to meet girls is to go to gallery's and use pick up skills to try attract them and get to know them. Online dating works also for some people. 

Also there are plenty of girls who will go home with someone after one night of knowing him although those aren't the type of people you want for a long term relationship  (in my opinion)

In the end though the choice is yours  I wish you the best.

Edited February 6, 2017 by Live Life Liam

[Life Coach]

1 hour ago, Haloman said:

Half a year i’ve been single (after 5 years of relationships). Like Leo said in yesterday’s video - break up from that person – if them have a gambling addiction. Shame that i was the one, who had it. Because of meditation, i’ve overcamed it. I’m 27 and i don’t have a car, because of my gambling and until this years June i’ve to pay my credits. Most of my friends have girlfriends and if i go to clubs with some of my friends, we usually get drunk and it’s hard to approach girls in that state. But it’s hard to approach sober either (actually haven’t tried)  because i feel such a loser because of that i don’t have a car and my financial situation. Who girl would like to meet 27 year old man and go to him with public transport after just one night of knowing him? I would be really happy if i could skip sex and intimate relationships from Maslow’s pyramid of needs, but it’s harder than i thought.

This or next week i’m gonna to try mushrooms for the first time. I know that i can’t use them like escaping from life and problems but i really want to generate my consciousness work to get bigger fulfillment from that than from relationships.

Any opinions from your point of view?

You can skip it, I do. But it is really hard, and I had some experience before. I had lots of sex and two relationships and various dates. If you have not had the experience, maybe it is better if you get some first. It will be easier to skip when you had first some experiences. You are still a man who loves women, this is deep in your nature. It may even cause some mental problems if you just skip it right away.

Also don't worry, if you are awesome as a man your age doesn't matter. You will attract women of any kind. Even when you are 50 you can easily get all the 20-25 years old chicks. Lot of women even love older man because they are more mature and experienced and more "alpha"

[Shin]

Sounds like you still think you need a relationship, and that a relationship can fulfill you.

More spiritual work is indeed necessary, quit relationships for at least 1 full year

 

[Haloman]

I think i’ve had lots of experience with women. From 16 to 20 i was going to clubs and get laid very often (mostly just kissing but some times fucking also). I think that problem is more that i feel guilt because of my gambling addiction and that i didn’t appreciate my girlfriend (she was my second serious girlfriend). We got back together last year after our first real breakup and i said that if we want to be good again we need to work on ourselves (because she was with another guy while we were separate and it was hard for me to forget that, and i had lost lots of money by that time and it was hard for her to forget that) . But she hated the idea to work on ourselves because she saw that i was reading so much psychology but still made fucking sport bets (hardcore gamblers could agree with me that if you bet much money and win it’s often more exciting than sex). She wanted already settle down and start family because she said that her biological clock is ticking and she has already 26. But i wasn’t ready emotionally and because of my gambling – financially also.

So she finally left me and i understood that i need to change and do some practical moves to improve myself. So i started to meditate and in this summer i will finally get engineer’s degree.

By spiritual work i do meditation, watch videos on enlightenment and read Osho VERY much. I want to get even more into spirituality to feel happy and fulfilled by myself and diminish my guilt and don’t get jealous because she already has a new boyfriend.

[Evilwave Heddy]

I wouldn't recommend taking shrooms in your current state.  If you decide to take them anyway, just be prepared.

[Haloman]

@Evilwave Heddy  I wanted to start with small dose on Saturday after  1hour meditation (usually I do 30minutes)  and before watch one more time Leo’s video  -  How To Use Psychedelics For Personal Development. I think it will be ok.

[Evilwave Heddy]

@Haloman Totally up to you my man.  Make sure to get back to us after you've taken them.   

[Shin]

Don't just meditate, watch your thoughts all the time (you won't be able to dot it all the time at first) = Mindfullness,

And comptemplate nature by doing some hiking regularly (at least 3/4 hours a week).

[Haloman]

@Shin Thanks man! I live in a big city and there is a big wood near to my house which i only used for jogging in summer. Never thought that it would be good for hiking there now in winter also! 

[Nahm]

I've tried most positions but skipping sex? Millennials are crazy man. 

[Bob84]

@Haloman Spend the next 20 years looking for shortcuts to realize there are none OR do that now.

Unless you trancend your ego is stuck with the pyramid.

[Haloman]

@Bob84 If you say there are no shortcuts, did you mean that people need sex and intimate relationships? Maybe this is again balance thing – meditation, enlightenment work (aloneness) from one side and relationships (company) from other.

[Bob84]

@Haloman Need is a big word. The ego wants it, and unless it gets it it will compensate.

With shortcuts i mean, everyone always looks for a magical solution. We have a tenancy to mentally masturbating about doing something instead of doing it. I encourage you to pay mind to how much you think about doing stuff and how much stuff you actually end up doing.

A simple none realistic but true example: You could read 20 books on how to get out of bed on time in the morning. Or you could just get out of bed when your alarm goes of. You can either do it right away, or spend time on 20 books to realize that.
The ego prefers the 20 books / the magical solution, that doesn't exist.

I can relate to the girls part, as i had a really shy ego. But i can tel you its all self inflicted suffering and delusion.
Imagine that instead of thinking what to say and do so much, you would have done 1% of it. What would be now?
Thinking: o that's a good looking girl, what should i say to her, what does she think about me, what if she thinks i am ugly..... etc... etc....etc. has zero effect on reality and only screws you. Simply be aware of the fact that your doing it and when you are doing it, and soon you will realize its insanity and therefor stop doing it. (it does take some time do, but it did wonders for my ego when i still related to it).

[Nahm]

There is a magic solution. It's looking at the path as the path to Joy. It's like everything else, it's how you think I about it, and your emotions let you know how to find a higher thought about anything. Do your practices daily, and enjoy them, look at them as they are the very thing that is bringing you joy. And listen to those that refer to it as work, they are giving you the gift.

[clytaemnestra]

I don't know where you live, but in Europe almost no one before, let's say, 30-35 has a car. I'd rather invest in a trip to some exotic land. What kind of girl expects by man to pick her up or to have a car? It's not equality at all. And it's so materialistic. Can't you both use public transportation? I mean you meet up on a public place anyways, she comes by car and parks somewhere, you come by public transportation and how could she know that you didn't come by car if you meet at main square let's say? Sorry if I sound stupid, but I really don't get it why one girl should care about your real estate.

[aurum]

On 2/6/2017 at 3:16 AM, Haloman said:

But it’s hard to approach sober either (actually haven’t tried)  because i feel such a loser because of that i don’t have a car and my financial situation

Your desire to "skip" the stage where you have sex and relationships is really your way of dealing with this.

On 2/6/2017 at 3:16 AM, Haloman said:

Who girl would like to meet 27 year old man and go to him with public transport after just one night of knowing him?

yes, women are angels that only go home with 6'2, rich men with six packs. Come on man.

On 2/6/2017 at 3:16 AM, Haloman said:

I would be really happy if i could skip sex and intimate relationships from Maslow’s pyramid of needs, but it’s harder than i thought.

Would you be happy? Like really happy?

Or would you just be escaping?

 

On 2/6/2017 at 3:16 AM, Haloman said:

i really want to generate my consciousness work to get bigger fulfillment from that than from relationships

"Approaching girls is scary, maybe if I do drugs I can get away from all that"

On 2/6/2017 at 3:16 AM, Haloman said:

Any opinions from your point of view?

Admit it man, you want a girl. You want it bad.

There's nothing wrong with that, but if you want a woman you're gonna have to work at it,

[Haloman]

 

@aurum

Yes it is scarry. It specially if I have to do cold approach, sober and if there is only one friend with whom to go out.

Seems like you’ve been watching and practicing pick up for a while. How did you do that? Just brutally in a club like in RSD videos going from one girl to another and approach, approach, approach? Did you do it alone and sober?

I want a woman but I also really believe Leo when he says that being infinite is 1000 times powerful than any orgasm. So if I work in 9-17 job then ideal weak looks like Monday to Friday work. Friday night – approaching girls, Saturday – meditation, contemplation and once a while some psychedelic trip… where is fucking balance?  

p.s. And Sunday – you all know for what those are  

[aurum]

53 minutes ago, Haloman said:

Just brutally in a club like in RSD videos going from one girl to another and approach, approach, approach? Did you do it alone and sober?

In the beginning, yes. I was in a new city where I didn't know anyone so I just went out by myself and cold approached. 4-7 nights a week.

It was brutal. But eventually I made friends, got a social circle and got 100x better with women. Those RSD infield clips starting becoming my real life. It was crazy.

What's funny is that I'm not even a dating coach. So I really have no reason to sell you on doing cold approach.

I just like to share this story because it's my truth and because I don't want some guy to throw away an amazing part of life because he's afraid to talk to a chick.

1 hour ago, Haloman said:

want a woman but I also really believe Leo when he says that being infinite is 1000 times powerful than any orgasm

Dude, get it all. These things can be synergistic IF you're strategic enough.

Look, I haven't taken 5-Me0. So maybe one day I'll snort a line, see God and come back and tell you it was all bullshit. Fuck having sex, just become a celibate monk who meditates all day.

But I have had an Enlightenment experience sober. And while it supercharged my desire for spiritual growth, it paradoxically ALSO supercharged my desire to accomplish goals in real life.

You think that motivation for sex is coming from the ego, but it's not. Not in your case at least.

The ego is largely fear based. Low vibration. It would rather you sit in your home and whack off than have sex because THAT'S SAFE.

No change necessary. No pushing your comfort zone. Stay the same.

Not everyone is ready to just launch into non-duality at any point in your life. Everyone comes to it at their own time in their own way.

The most important thing is you honor that intuitive voice. If that's pulling you towards cold approach, and I think it is, then fuck what Leo says. Fuck everything I said.

You follow your path. No one else's.

1 hour ago, Haloman said:

So if I work in 9-17 job then ideal weak looks like Monday to Friday work. Friday night – approaching girls, Saturday – meditation, contemplation and once a while some psychedelic trip… where is fucking balance?

I hate to keep being so blunt but you have to figure it out. No excuses.

Like Leo said, balance doesn't mean 50/50 split. Balance could mean you go out for 3 years like a maniac every night and then decide to dial it back.

Don't use this balance shit as a rationalization to not take the action you know you should be taking.

Alright I lectured you more than enough   good luck man.

 

[StarfoxEpiphany]

If you live in the US (at least most places), and don't have a car, you need to get your shit together before you even rate to have a decent girlfriend. Or you could move downtown and have housemates/flatmates (which happens to be amazingly fun!)

Edited February 10, 2017 by StarfoxEpiphany