Could you turn anything into a fulfilling life purpose?

[amps]

When I was around 12 years old, I got really invested into a particular video game. Before I even purchased the game and was able to play it, I remember spending countless hours watching videos about it and I got really invested into its mechanics. Fast forward 10 years and I was still heavily invested in it. I spent over 10 000 hours playing this game (real gameplay hours tracked through steam) and I ended up being one of the "top" players in my region in it. To this day I have not been able to reach a similar level of passion for anything else in my life.

I ended up selling my gaming computer and leaving that whole thing behind, as I got interested in self-development and started looking at that whole ordeal as an addiction rather than something to pursue for the rest of my life. A big reason for that was the fact that the game never quite picked up as a real e-sport, and I felt it wasn't feasible to create a living from it. As far as I know there is only one person in the whole community who has been able to make a feasible living out of it, and they are still playing it to this day, and seem to be really struggling with it as the game is slowly dying off as is expected.

A few years after leaving all of it behind, having grown more than ever yet still unable to find something that I have a similar level of passion toward, I'm left with the question.. Could it have been possible? Even if the game was dying off and the younger generations were interested in completely different types of videogames, would it still have been possible to somehow keep pursuing that path and make a living out of it?

I feel as if though that passion I generated as a child toward this game, cannot be brought back. I feel as if I had a limited reservoir of passion in me, and I spent it on this game. I've been really struggling to get excited and generate passion toward anything else in my life in a similar way ever since. I don't know if being "realistic" in this case will really serve me, as I keep struggling with addictions and keep backsliding into problematic behaviour, probably mostly due to lack of purpose and direction.

Sure I can get excited about reading, mediation, eating healthy, staying on track.. But that passion doesn't come automatically and I have to really cultivate it and stay discliplined at all times. It's not like that 10 year period of my life where I never had any doubt about what I wanted to spend all my free time doing.

Is this just me getting desperate and depressed about the fact that I spent so much of my life wasting time on a videogame that was never going to help me progress my life, or did I actually drop the only genuine passion I will ever have, because I got too brainwashed by self-development content and seeing such behaviour as just a video game addiction?

I never played any other games seriously btw, it was just the mechanics and community of this particular game that had me so invested. I felt I had limitless possibilities to improve at it and I almost never felt demotivated to continue the grind. 

I guess this is something that is in the back of my mind nowadays all the time, because deep down I know that I could've had a huge impact on that game and its community, and I could've played it forever. The main question I have is, is there some initial "life purposes" that are just unrealistic, non feasible, and will not produce fruit no matter how much time you invest into them? (atleast financially)

Any answers and thoughts on this are appreciated <3

[Yarco]

If you're passionate enough, you can bring a game back from the dead.

A couple really passionate players can make a huge impact. I don't think Starcraft 2 would've had nearly the success it did without a few key people like Day9, Tasteless, Artosis. 

I've personally created a speedrunning community around a game that didn't previously had one. It led to discovering and the devs fixing some bugs that probably wouldn't have been noticed otherwise. And possibly contributed to some DLC coming out.

If the game has P2P multi-player through Steam then it's fairly easy. If it relies on central game servers that have been shut down its a lot harder but not impossible.

Could also switch to a similar game in the genre thats more popular now.

Got a lot more to say but don't have time now so I'll try to come back and add to this later.

Curious what game it was, I can probably brainstorm some ways to make it a life purpose depending on what it was.

[amps]

23 minutes ago, Yarco said:

 

The game I'm referring to is Team Fortress 2. As for switching to a game that is similar and has a higher potential for e-sports, i tried that with Overwatch. It was nothing like TF2 in the end and I really rather continue to work in a retail job than try to play that game at a professional level.

TF2 has continued to decline in the few years after I left it, it is now struggling with hackers and such in the public servers and lack of developer support. Trying to revive it now seems like an even more daunting task than it would've been a few years ago, yet I would rather attempt that than to continue living a purposeless life. But I'm not so sure if this is just some major ego backlash trying to bring me back to my old comfort zone or if that game truly was and is my purpose.

TF2 e-sports always lacked the support from the developers. People have always seen it as a casual game. To me I'm yet to find a game that is as mechanically addicting and satisfying as tf2, the only game that came even close to that would be quake.

I guess quake is a good example for why the task to make a living out of TF2 seems impossible. That game has it all, it is an absolute spectacle to watch and the skill level of the top players is insane. Yet it is not a very big e-sport anymore. Kids are more interested in stuff like fortnite and call of duty, which are just not appealing to me.

[Yarco]

Ah yeah it's crazy TF2 has been around for so long, it has quite the cult following.

It seems like there's been a big thing going on called #SaveTF2 since about a month ago. I literally just found it while searching so I don't know much about it. But maybe you can jump on this as a veteran player and share how important the game is to you to Valve. It might be that little bit that makes them actually start improving and updating it again.

Maybe you could create your own private server. Set up a league of people who play together without worrying about bots, and have a weekly tournament or something to show what the game is capable of.

You could make a TF2 Youtube channel and see what happens. I haven't watched any of the videos, but just from the numbers, this guy has enough subscribers / views to be making a living from TF2 content exclusively: https://www.youtube.com/c/elmaxoTF2/videos

I didn't enjoy Overwatch either when I tried it. But with Overwatch 2 coming out in October it might be worth trying again just to see. Personally I found Valorant to be much more enjoyable and closer to TF2, if you haven't tried it.

Most difficult option would be to try and create your own video game inspired by TF2, taking everything you love about it and even building on it.