Upgrading To The Maximum Level In Life

[Extreme Z7]

My name is Lyle Gio Sta. Maria. I'm from the Philippines. I'm currently 19 years old. This is my journal. My goal is to document my learning process to becoming the greatest individual that is possible for me to become. My plan is to update this journal every evening. (+08:00 GMT). There is no specific time I want to make an entry here everyday, probably will do it about 1 or 2 hours before I go to bed.

So interested in reading yet?

if(interested == false)
    interested = true;

//Well, now you are

So I want to start by explaining how I got into personal development and a little bit about my early life. Early in childhood, I got introduced to video games. Unlike most children, video games weren't "just another fun activity". I would try to spend all my free time playing video games whenever possible. In my early life, I could not imagine getting joy from anything else. (Except maybe cartoons on TV).

I didn't like going to school and my mother was very narcissistic and always demanded that I get perfect scores. Problem was I was never really good at school. My mind would wander into all sorts of stuff I could imagine. As I grew older, I got worse and worse at school and this would cause both my parents terrible emotional outbursts which in turn gave me self-esteem issues. Eventually though, as I grew older, I had to learn how to think for myself. I'm leaving out a lot of details I know, but I just want to say what I think is important.

Anyway, counter-intuitively, during my 2nd year in college, I started to get rid of my streak of failure in academic life because I stop caring what my parents had to say about me. However, I still had a very small grasp in reality. I still played video games a lot and developed a new habit of spending hours watching YouTube videos that entertained me.

Early January 2015 (18 years old), I had my first panic attack. It came out of nowhere while I was playing a video game. I just had a sudden sense that what I was doing everyday of my life was unfulfilling and unsatisfying. I suffered strong emotional pain that I could not explain. It was really more of an existential panic. The worst part was not the pain, but the lack of understanding of where it was coming from. Out of desperation, I decided to consult the main source of my information intake at the time, YouTube. I literally wrote "What is Happiness?" in the search engine just to see what would come up. Leo's "What is Happiness?" video was the first result. Several months of personal work and following Leo's videos later, Here I am. . .

I recognize that I am at a VERY VERY VERY early stage in my life. I am, however, very radically open-minded about beliefs on what is possible in life. Despite the fact that I consider myself more personally advanced than anyone I ever meet in daily life. I believe that I barely achieved even 1% of what is possible for every aspect of my life. Join me in the development of this journal and I hope that you can help me achieve. . .the Maximum Level in Life.

Love Lyle
 

[Soulbass]

Hi, I checked your soundcloud link on another post, could you talk about your making music process in your journal ? I'm producer too (I don't have anything to share yet).

Edited February 12, 2016 by Soulbass

[Extreme Z7]

<--[02-12-16]-->

Because I still have to go to college, I had to spend most of the day in lecture classes. I forgot that I needed to make a proposal for a project for one of my courses today so I had to spend the morning in a rush to type the thing. I really should not be doing urgent tasks the same day their supposed to be submitted

Meditation went okay. But I kept being distracted by an itchy feeling in my throat. If anyone has good ways to remove phlegm that would be great.

After class, I decided to watch a 1 hour tutorial on the basics of Ruby programming. I'm actually easily distracted by YouTube videos though so before I began watching the tutorial, I may have spent half an hour watching other stuff then going to the tutorial. Hell, I even watched another video before I decided to start writing this entry.

1 hour ago, Soulbass said:

Hi, I checked your soundcloud link on another post, could you talk about your making music process in your journal ? I'm producer too (I don't have anything to share yet).

Music is currently my #1 passion in life so I'll be mentioning it a lot. I'd like to make all sorts of music but I'm focusing on electronic stuff. Not just the modern EDM but old school stuff like Techno and Rave and also "niche-y hardcore-y" types of electronic music like Schranz, Speedcore, Breakcore, etc. Of course, those are the stuff I'd like to make. I've only been producing for more than a year so I'm still a noob, pretty much.

@Soulbass Judging by your username, am I right to assume that you might be into more "soulful" type of music? I'd love to listen to your music. Again, I like to listen to everything. I don't care if it's Flowery and Relaxing or if it's Brutal, Hardcore, and Noisy or if it's Over-The-Top like Modern EDM.

Speaking of which, before writing this, I decided to work on a work-in-progress Speedcore track of mine. Speedcore is a very aggressive genre that is not for everybody. I've attached what I've done so far in this entry. It's very unfinished which is why it's cut short.

synthdroid -speedcore work in progress-.mp3

[pOnG]

its rare to find filipino here and it seems that i found one and its happens i think that were  in the same place .are u from tacloban leyte ?

[Extreme Z7]

31 minutes ago, pOnG said:

its rare to find filipino here and it seems that i found one and its happens i think that were  in the same place .are u from tacloban leyte ?

Holy shit, Yes! I was just about to write my newest entry when I read this! What are the odds? Yes, I am from Tacloban, Leyte

Edited February 13, 2016 by MaxWare1997

[Extreme Z7]

<--[02-13-16]-->

I'll admit, I spent little time working on personal development today. Remember about the Ruby tutorial video I watched the other day? I did that so I could finish a college assignment that required knowledge in Ruby. I literally spent the entire day doing it. Starting work at about 9am, struggling to focus while doing it. When I finished, It was already past 5pm. Damn

I still had the will to do my 1 hour meditation habit. I would say this session went really great. It's hard to be able to explain in words how meditations sessions go because it's such a subjective experience.

Because I was so stressed after finishing the work, I decided to spend 15 minutes doing a task I love. Which is messing around in FL Studio, I really enjoy doing music production. If only had more time to do it. I still have one last college task to do but I'll do it tomorrow. The task is just to make a PowerPoint presentation, so if I can finish it as fast as possible, I should be able to have lots of free-time to do what I want.

Okay, I feel like I'm leaving out a lot of negative stuff that I'm not satisfied with today. First off, I was incredibly unfocused as I did my college work which caused me to spend more than 8 hours doing it when in retrospect, I should have been able to do it in 2 hours. I was listening to a comedy podcast that kept distracting me. I'd sometimes take a break to watch a YT video which distracted me even more. However, I think the main reason why I was not able to focus was because the work was not something I wanted to do. I mean, I spent about 15 minutes doing music production afterwards and it felt nice and flowing. . . and fun. I should keep a note to focus on ways to be more productive particularly in doing tasks that I don't want to do. If I can finish tasks I don't like faster,  I should have more time to do stuff I actually do things that make me happier and feel more authentic.


Oh and here's a video version of the attachment I put on the last entry.

 

[pOnG]

i type your name in facebook and im shock when i see that your from tacloban .hehe

[Extreme Z7]

@pOnG I'd be glad to meet you in person. You know, doing personal development and consciousness work creates a feeling of separation from the general masses. Getting to meet someone who holds this same interest may be refreshing.

[pOnG]

Im excited to meet up with you lyle by the way  im 23 yrs old .Youi can pm me

[Extreme Z7]

@pOnG If you found my Facebook account, you could just send me a friend request.

[Extreme Z7]

<--[02-14-16]-->

I wanted to start today by working on the power point presentation I was supposed to make but instead something else happened. Something good. I came across this documentary on Youtube that's very interesting. I recommend you watch it if you have the time.

I don't want to ramble on about the work I did today because I think it's boring and uninteresting to other people. Unfortunately, I spent the whole today with work so there is not much else to say.

Oh yeah, Leo's new video came up today. How about that? Have you seen it yet? It's really good. I even took notes. (I'll upload a picture in an attachment.) I even made my own symbolic system which shows how much I think I excel in a certain quality or which qualities I need to work on. Even put little hearts next to the qualities I think are my favorites.

Yeah, I don't really want to say much else. It's night time and I'm sleepy. Here's a video I uploaded today as well if you're interested. Yeah, it's me messing around in FL Studio again. I should mention that I spend some amount of time working on music production everyday. Sometimes, I want to record and share what I make.

 

[Soulbass]

On 12/2/2016 at 2:15 PM, MaxWare1997 said:

Music is currently my #1 passion in life so I'll be mentioning it a lot. I'd like to make all sorts of music but I'm focusing on electronic stuff. Not just the modern EDM but old school stuff like Techno and Rave and also "niche-y hardcore-y" types of electronic music like Schranz, Speedcore, Breakcore, etc. Of course, those are the stuff I'd like to make. I've only been producing for more than a year so I'm still a noob, pretty much.

Music in my #1 too ! I listen to a lot of different things. I'll send you my songs when it will be done I like your vibes.

[Extreme Z7]

@Soulbass LOL, I hope the hardcore distorted stuff I posted in my last entries hasn't put you off. I have other songs in a SoundCloud account but I want to hear your music first before I share mine. (Actually, I'm pretty sure I remember you saying you already found it.)

[Soulbass]

No no  I listen sometime to some hardtek, but I'm more into making oldschool breakbeat and liquid funk. The last artists I've discovered are Ruby Booms, Blackmill, and Aleksander "Savant" Vinter. Do you know Neoretro DX ? It's a nice, free and unrated substractice synth for making chiptune textures.

Edited February 15, 2016 by Soulbass

[Extreme Z7]

@Soulbass Oooh Breakbeat. . . awesome! I never get tired of that genre. Have you heard of Breakcore?

Anyway, thanks for recommending me that free synth. But unfortunately, I can't seem to find a download link. The plugin's site seems to have disappeared. You wouldn't happen to still have a VST file of it do you? (.dll or other)

[Soulbass]

Here is an upload :

https://www.sendspace.com/file/wvpk8n

Breakcore, I've heard of but not a big fan. I'm sometimes confused about many genres around breakbeat, big beat, drum'n bass and sub categories of each... As leo says in the life purpose course "do not consider yourself as a competitor, but a creator", so I refer only on my feelings when it comes to music.

I think the reason why we like what we like, and dislike what we dislike, are very personal blend of what we've heard and combined with past experiences. I'm more into aerial/dreamy stuffs, contrasted with ground/raw drum beats (I'm drummer).

I suggest we share our mails in PM and continue this discussion, it may not be the purpose of your thread to talk about music production

[Extreme Z7]

<--[02-15-16]-->

Today was another regular school day which meant I had very little time to work on any creative hobby or do anything with my free time at all, sadly. Instead I want to dedicated this entry to talking about why I love music, what got me into it, and what dreams I have for a possible future music career. So yeah, this is my first flashback/nostalgic entry.

♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫♫

 

I've always loved music since I was 6. However, I didn't start my passion for music like most people. Instead of being inspired by a music album or being taught how to play a music instrument at an early age. What got me to love music was Video Games of all things.

I used to spend all my time playing games on the Sony PlayStation as a kid. The first game where the music really got to me was a game called Pac-man World. It was a 3D Platformer with music composed by Tommy Tallarico. When I was a kid, I absolutely adored everything about this game. The colorful visuals, the fluid gameplay, and of course the varied music. The game included 6 worlds each with their own style of music and genre. As a child, I liked how it all sounded and felt giving the game this sort of feeling that it had personality that pulled me in. It's hard to explain but I was like 6 or 7 back then. Childhood experiences tend to be blurry. I remember the first level of the Space area in particular blew my mind as a kid when I first heard it. It was a Techno track. It says a lot about my electronic music bias.


Pac-man World was only the beginning of my video game music obsession.

I want to make a list of all the games with music I really love. I want you to see just how many these games have influenced my passion.
Here are all my personal favorites in no particular order.

Pac-man World, Crash Bandicoot, Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped, Strikers 1945 II, Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage, Kirby's Epic Yarn, Sonic Heroes, Metal Slug, Metal Slug 2 & X, Metal Slug 3, Metal Slug 4, Metal Slug 5, Metal Slug 6, Metal Slug 3D, Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex, Pac-man World Rally, M&M's Shell Shocked, Jak 3, Crash Team Racing, Crash Tag Team Racing, A Bug's Life (The Game),  Klonoa: Door to Phantomile, Danmaku Death, Sonic Colors, Riff: Everyday Shooter, Loco Roco, Lumines and Lumines Plus, Lumines II, Gunpey, and Castlevania, Symphony of the Night.

And that is just the non-rhythm game list
Parappa the Rappa, Parappa the Rappa 2, DJMAX Portable, DJMAX Portable 2, DJMAX Portable: Clazziquai Edition, DJMAX Portable Black Square, DJMAX Portable 3, DJMAX Technika, DJMAX Technika 2, DJMAX Technika 3, DJMAX Ray, DJMAX Technika Q, beatmania: IIDX 14 GOLD, DJMAX Technika TUNE, DJMAX Trilogy, リズム天国 (Rhythm Tengoku), Rhythm Heaven, Rhythm Heaven Fever

I wanted to write this a refresher as to why I started to pursue music in the first place. In all my years, I have not learned to play a single music instrument but music has remained ingrained as a part of my soul growing up. Why haven't I started learning about music as a kid if I was already inspired very early on? There are various reasons which I want to leave out for other entries. I want to focus on different aspects of my past separately.

You could probably guess that I dream of being a video game music composer someday and you'd be right. Right now, I'm focusing on working on my electronic music production skills. In a way, I consider my laptop as my musical tool and I don't feel any shame in saying that. I hope to talk more on topics like these in future entries. I didn't think it would feel so. . . exhilarating and relieving at the same time to be able to write this down and share it to people. I have much more to say about myself and not just my past, but my problems, personal development journey, visions, feelings, etc. Those are for future entries, that's what this journal is for after all.

[Soulbass]

I'm 25 so I understand your feelings/nostalgic about the ps1, especially the sounds and musics that came to ears again, again and again, when you'r stuck at a level doing 10000 attempts. I think music for video games is a very creative place.

[Extreme Z7]

<--[02-16-16]-->

Oh dear, I forgot to write yesterday's entry didn't I? (It's February 17th as I write this.) Aah. . . nevermind

I'm going to talk about something I'm personally embarrassed to reveal to the public. I'm incredibly inept about money/finances. I still live with my parents and they pay me a measly 100 php a day in cash (about 0.02 American Dollars). I'm 19 years old. Over the year 2015, I only managed to save enough to buy 3 books. I grew up (and am still growing up) in a family that has been terrible at handling money. My parents keep spending their cash on low-grade entertainment and other garbage (at least they're not drug addicts). Everything I have is something that was either given to me, something incredibly cheap I had to save months for, or free. I have never bought something online before.

I know I go to a college that is very near my parents house but parents keep insisting that they handle my bank account instead of teaching me how to handle it myself. You may ask, why haven't I spoken up about it? Well, it has actually to do with my past relationship with my parents which I want to talk about in a future entry, for now I still want to keep that quiet.

I'm not having problems with money because I've made a lot of stupid mistakes. I'm having problems because I haven't even been given the chance to use it at all. I don't have a credit/debit card. I don't know what to do to get one. That's why I still haven't bought a single thing online. There are lots of things I want to buy that are beneficial to my personal development. (Which is why I spent all of last year's savings on 3 educational books). And of course, there are the leisure stuff I want to buy to like video games and music albums (but those are lower on my priorities).

I know things will automatically change once I get out of college and have to find a job but c'mon! Why do my parents expect me only to figure this out only when it's at it's most urgent? That's ridiculous. I came across this video by Big Think. Apparently 80% of people who go to college know dick about finances. So apparently my situation is actually sort of the norm. *sigh*

 

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Currently Listening to: 

 

Edited February 17, 2016 by MaxWare1997
Added "Listening to:"

[Extreme Z7]

<--[02-17-16]-->
I WANT A BETTER LIFE NOW!

How was your day? Good? That's nice. It's been a while since I've had a "good" day. And by that I mean a day where some favorable external conditions have been met by my personal judgment. Getting rid of all the distracting habits I used to have shed light on the truly bland and neutral nature of most of my days. On the one hand, my spiritual journey has given me the power to tolerate it, on the other hand my ambitious self can't help but be frustrated. I'm do not consider myself a "dreamer". Even though I find myself getting stuck inside my own imagination a lot; industry, hard-work, and persistence are some of my strong points. Although they can turn out to be negative traits at times (which I'll talk about in another entry).

The challenge is figuring out the path towards this so called "Dream Life". How much work that is required of me to reach it is scary and motivating at the same time. It's just a matter of getting rid of the scary part.

Currently listening to:

Leaning Tower by Sampling Masters SNDG from the album Sampling Masters 3
http://bit.ly/1QIrQYW

 

Edited February 18, 2016 by MaxWare1997
Correct Typo