Upgrading To The Maximum Level In Life

[Extreme Z7]

<12-11-2016>

Feeling Guilty After Watching Leo's New Video
 

I would be lying if I said I was in any high consciousness level or even any moderate level of success. I'm still just a kid living in my parents house, still clueless as to how my life is going to be in the future and still only scratching the surface of what a true self-actualized life would be like. I mention this because after watching Leo's new video on enlightenment traditions around the world, despite being really interested and even wanting to read the homework afterwards, I felt a strong urge to just play some video games instead and I ended up not being able to enjoy it because of the guilt. Video gaming, I have to admit, is still a strong addiction of mine. Games have been part of my life since my childhood so it makes sense why my attachment is rooted so deep. I still have that "homework" that Leo assigned to anyone who watched the video so I'm definitely going to leave that for another day.

Anyway, I want to end today's entry with a positive note, I just finished practicing and drawing cartoon versions of some real life people (even Leo Gura) which I will be posting soon, and here is the comic I promised in the last entry:

[Extreme Z7]

<12-12-2016>

Becoming More Focused On Reading

just about three years ago, Typhoon Haiyan, a powerful superstorm, passed through the place where I lived in and caused a high level of destruction around the town. For two weeks (I think, it may have been longer), I had to live with no power and at one point, to pass the time, I picked up a novel and began reading to pass the time. It was the first time I read a book for the sake of entertainment and it was quite the experience. The book was Jules Verne's "Mysterious Island" and I still vividly remember the events that took place in that book.

Despite that however, I was still not completely hooked to reading and even after getting a new laptop about a month afterwards, I decided to spend most of my time gaming and watching cartoons. Fast forward to today, after being a follower of Actualized.org for about two years, I'm proud to say that now I really get the importance of reading and am willing to dedicate a large portion of my future life with a passion for knowledge and imagination through written and spoken word. I still don't know for sure where this will ultimately take me but intuition tells me that it's going to be worth it.

[Extreme Z7]

<12-15-2016>

Slow The FUCK Down!

Yesterday I decided to have a two hour Do-Nothing-And-Contemplate session (which ending up lasting only an hour and 15 minutes because I did at night and I got too sleepy to continue). What I learned was that over the past few days I've been pushing myself to become hyper busy by being overly obsessed with getting things done that I fail to put things into good perspective. Some of the things I have up in my list of priorities should have been lower and some things which I put low in my priorities should have been higher. Today I actually procrastinated a lot but I feel like I managed to get more done on the jobs that actually matter more than only focusing mechanically on trying to complete everything,

[Extreme Z7]

<12-17-2016>

Slow Down And Just Breathe
 

Just had another relatively strong and focused meditation session today which made the next few hours pretty pleasant today. I find that I'm now going right back down to my "normal" self as I right this, with my "normal" worries, my "normal" emotional issues, my "normal" distractions and I'm still trying to remain mindful of just how most of my life is just a hallucination and why I'm not supposed to take it too seriously. Whenever I'm in a more stable and pleasant state, I'm able to feel more in tune with reality, I don't overwork myself, I don't feel a lot of anxiety, and I'm able to feel joy more. I really hope that I may sometime get to a point where this is a normal everyday thing and not just a temporary post-meditative-state.

I have a lot of work to do.

Another thing that I like to talk about today is that Leo just made a thread for a free e-book for a book called "The Law of One". Leo presented it as a challenge of one's open-mindedness and I believe it after reading the book's introduction. I don't want to say what it is because it's just so shocking that I want anyone to read it to have the same surprise.

That's it for today, by the way, everything you believe to be true is wrong, have a nice day.

[Extreme Z7]

<12-20-2016>

Doing Leo's Practical Guide To Enlightenment

What am I? Who is aware of the typing of this message? Am I the one writing this sentence? . . . . .

Who is perceiving this computer screen? Does it perceive itself? . . . . .

I'm bored, I want some fries. . . crap I got distracted.

Who am I? Who am I? I'm very frustrated. . . uggh

Wait I forgot, I'm not doing the practice right now, I'm supposed to be writing in the journal, whoops. . .

 

[Extreme Z7]

<12-21-2016>

Second Day Of Leo's Enlightenment Practice
 

When Leo first presented his Step-by-Step Self-Observation Practice for achieving enlightenment, I was hesitant at first because it would mean having to allocate to time for yet another habit that I'm not yet willing to have. But when I did decide to try it out yesterday and even today, both times I felt like it was completely worth it. I don't want to talk about the results I got yet because I want to do a little more of the practice to see how deep it can go.

Who knows, maybe I might even reach enlightenment?

Oooh. . . that sounds really cool, I'm so inspired to keep going. . . I'm going to go play some video games now. . .

Edited December 21, 2016 by Extreme Z7

[Extreme Z7]

<12-22-2016>

Suffering From Materialism

I came to a realization today that a large majority of the suffering and lack of fulfillment I have in my life is due to my attachment to materialism. Not a surprise, considering that it's Christmas where the materialistic tradition is rampant so I did think about it a lot but I was surprised to the extent as to which I realized the depth of my suffering from materialism. I would say about 90%~99% of my suffering is probably due to materialistic desire. And by the way, when I talk about materialistic desire, I'm broadly speaking about all kinds of attachments towards external circumstances.

I really feel like I sold my soul to the Devil many years ago in my childhood and didn't even know it. The battle is going to be tough and even though it isn't the whole war, something tells me some blood is going to be involved. Not literally, obviously.

[Extreme Z7]

<12-23-2016>

I'm Lazy

Meh. . .not in the mood to really want to talk about my day today. It wasn't bad, it was actually quite pleasant. All I want to do is just post the drawing I made today. Oh and if you didn't know, I have a daily drawing habit. You can find my other drawings here.

Edited December 23, 2016 by Extreme Z7

[Extreme Z7]

<12-27-2016>

Glimpse of Heaven

I failed to do my 60-min self-inquiry work today. Quite a shame but it's not too bad because today felt (relatively) pleasant. I'm not sure if it is because of the practice but if it is the case, then this is so far, the most effective practice for increasing my level of happiness than any other practice I've had so far, even better than meditation. But it may not be. So far, I've only done the practice 4 times so I don't have much experience as to where it really leads. Well, it leads to enlightenment but I mean where does it lead me psychologically.

Anyway, I think the most likely reason why today felt a lot more pleasant than my other days is because I wasn't in the mood to work on my university projects today. I spent the majority of the day drawing the comic below.

(You can find my other comics in my deviantart page, linked in my previous entry,)

So I guess I just felt really in tune with how I truly authentically wanted to live today. (Well, to an extent) I'm getting pretty tired of having to work on projects that I have no passion for that is eating up a lot of my time. Can't complain too much, though, because my situation isn't permanent and I'm bound to graduate on 2017 which a major life shift will have to occur for me in the near future. Now that's something for me to ponder.

[Extreme Z7]

<01-05-2017>

Starting 2017 With Some Baby Steps
 

First of all, I would like to apologize for not posting in my journal for a very long time. I just temporarily lost motivation to write here and lost some momentum. Also the Christmas partying had its own effect.

I decided to start 2017 with one commitment to end the year being massively better at drawing than I was when the year started. It may not seem like much but being able to have high expertise in drawing is one of my dreams in life and I feel that this year will only feel well spent for me if I focus it on my drawing practice. It was on mid-2016 when I decided to start drawing daily and I plan this to be the first year in my life where I draw everyday with no excuses. This counts a project so I'm taking advantage of Leo's pre-mortem technique. I'm not going to get into too much detail but I will say that my main strategy is to focus on learning something new in drawing everyday. Whether it's from a tutorial or some fun new idea where I learn something from the process. I am very much still a rookie/amateur at this so focusing on making drawings that will inspire me won't be my main focus, yet I will certainly not dismiss drawing something because of inspiration.

Aside from this, I am also near finishing reading the first book of 'The Law Of One'. I'm not too emotionally invested as to whether what is shown in the book is true or not but I give it a 50:50 possibility that it may or may not be true. Either way, I find some of the information still useful. Most recently, I read a part where it says that ego and materialism is not to be overcome to become enlightened, in fact it is highly discouraged because it creates imbalance or whatever. But rather that one is to experience, understand, analyze and accept the experiences from ego and materialism. Whatever is unnecessary falls off on its own.

That's it for today. I leave you in the love and the light of the one infinite Creator. Adonai.

[Extreme Z7]

<01-12-2017>

Using Pre-Mortem To Help Me Graduate
 

I'm getting really close to something I've been waiting for for a very long time, graduating out of college. I'm not really that excited about graduating on its own, I'm just tired of all these college work that has been holding me back from working on myself and my life purpose for several months now. I decided to sit and do a pre-mortem on the remaining work I need to get done before I graduate. It's not too difficult but there is still chance of me messing up if I'm not careful.

Also, I finished reading 'The Law of One' Book 1 today. I plan to start reading other stuff now and leave the remaining four books for another time.

[Extreme Z7]

<01-13-2017>

Turned 20 Today
 

It's my birthday today. I know it's not a personal development topic so . . moving on, business as usual.

I've been encountering the term 'illusion' a lot in the personal development content I've consumed today. I read it in some of Leo's posts today and also in this Sadhguru video. I've also been studying a lot of the board games that my parents have bought but barely played out of curiosity and found myself connecting the illusory nature of the games with my own so called "real life". And of course, I did another 1 hour self-inquiry/self-observation session and the term 'illusion' kept coming up in my mind.

Maybe reality really is trying to tell me that it's not reality at all, it's all illusion.

Business as usual. . . thanks for reading. . . see you tomorrow.

[Anna Konstantaki]

4 hours ago, Extreme Z7 said:

It's my birthday today.

Happy birthdaaaaaaaaaaaaay  Lyly-eh... Lyle!!! hehehe...

[Arman]

happy birthday, may you experience much happiness

<3 <3 <3 <3

[Extreme Z7]

@Arman @Anna Konstantaki

Thanks, I guess. . . .

[soh]

@Extreme Z7 Hi good to know your interest in music. Maybe we can do a collaboration.   I've got myself a Yamaha 453psr and very happy with being able to use it for composition.  www.kompoz.com is a good site.  I came across music as a hobby actually during my self dev journey.  Quite late....but that's another story.  

As far as your journal i did keep one since 2001 and what you say about seeing it after 10 years is a great idea to see how your development has progressed and see recurring emotional patterns, as well as seeing them dissolve.   Good Luck!

If anyone out there has ideas on editing an old old journal please let me know.

[Extreme Z7]

@soh Well, I've given up writing on this journal because I found that I have a lot better time writing on a traditional notebook offline. Going online to write on this journal everyday just felt so tedious. It's a lot more convenient for me to journal on a notebook than I can open and write in anywhere and anytime. Not sure if I'm going back to look at this old journal after ten years but it might be interesting.

As for music, I've been working on it for a while recently. But mostly on the sound design aspect of music production. I don't play any instruments (yet) or know much about music theory (but I know the basics, at least). But at least I can make music and a collab would be fun.

You can listen to some of my old tracks here. I haven't uploaded any of my newer ones yet because I'm still focusing on getting all the basics of mixing down before I get back to uploading more tracks.