Upgrading To The Maximum Level In Life

[Extreme Z7]

<08-16-2016>
Focused Planning
 

I feel like I'm getting to "cliched" personal development territory now. The kind of territory that most people would hear at a television self-help guru or someone like Tony Robbins were the information is geared towards a large group of people. Basically, I've been thinking a lot on self-help topics that aren't really specific to my personal problems, but just general stuff that anyone can do make their lives a little bit better. Stuff like strategically giving yourself deadlines for certain things you have to do to become more motivated and less willing to procrastinate. Or not listening to the "naysayers" and be more positive in your view towards your dreams of success.

I found this really inspiring video by YouTube channel 'Charisma on Command' about Arnold Schwarzenegger's drive and attitude for success. It's quite something to look up to.

 

[Extreme Z7]

<08-17-2016>
One More Day Complete, About 22265 Left To Go

(Assuming I live 'til about 80)

I'm slowly losing my frustration over my current situation in life and giving myself small tidbits of hope that I can make it in life much further than I can imagine if I keep on the consistent hard work. I probably should start a visualization habit if I really want to super-charge my motivation levels. I've been doing good for a while but I can do better. Maybe tomorrow would be a good start for a guided visualization session of 5 to 15 minutes, I guess.

I can become so much more than I currently am and I can handle every future obstacle with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back.

[JKG]

@Extreme Z7 I would recommend to you reading the book Psycho-cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz. I think it will help you a lot in your current situation.

And good luck for your next 22265 and more days

[Extreme Z7]

@quantum Thank You.

[Extreme Z7]

<08-18-2016>
Procrastinating but still Persisting

Had a LOT of coursework to do that I had to list them down. I didn't necessarily have to finish them all by today but it was still a stressful situation for me that I did inevitable fall into easy comfortable habits a bit too much. However, I still made progress, not only in my work, but in trying to get myself back on track fully and away from distraction. It was a tiny step though, but it was still better than nothing.

Oh yes, I also tried doing a guided visualization today with the help of the video below. It was sorta good but I feel like I gotta make it a persistent habit if I'm ever going to get some good results with it. I've tried visualization before but with all these expectations in mind instead of planning consistency as a goal. I'll see where these takes me, hopefully I can get some good progress out of this.
 

 

[Extreme Z7]

<08-19-2016>
Far Too Busy, Need Some Calmness
 

I have too much I need to do for the coming weeks and I need to handle the big workload carefully. I don't even want to write too much today so I can have more time to just unwind. So you know what? I won't. . .

[Anna Konstantaki]

@Extreme Z7 Good luck  <3 

[Extreme Z7]

<08-20-2016>
HaHA!

Bought myself a lovely little drawing tutorial book to help me with my drawing habit. Drawing has slowly become a part of my daily life that I'm starting to see very subtle life transformations that I haven't seen coming. I'm slowly seeing it take form as a part of my life purpose.

This book is awesome. Just the first 5 pages have gotten me instant progress. Thumbs up to it!

[Extreme Z7]

<08-21-2016>
Damn Leo, Why Is Your New Video Late?
 

I've been refreshing Leo's channel today excited for the next episode and it's been quite ridiculous that he uploaded about three hours later than he usually does. Doesn't matter, though, because it was still totally worth it. A really fascinating episode which feels weirdly like an advanced video geared towards people in the newbie stage. Most of the stuff he talked about are things previous episodes were already dedicated to so it wasn't hard for me to grasp the things he was saying but any real newbie who has not seen a lot of his other videos are pretty much still going to remain clueless after watching it but at least they will still be stepping in the right direction nonetheless.

What I love about this video is that it feels like Leo presents a model on how the entire model of personal development should be like. Which things should be removed and which should be cultivated to really find meaningful growth? It's very very helpful for people intermediate stage, I would say, even though Leo seems to be directing it towards the newbies.

Now if you'll excuse me, this new episode has given me new knowledge and concepts that I can then start using as tools for my personal development and I would like to begin acting on them as soon as possible. Thanks Leo! Until next time!

Edited August 21, 2016 by Extreme Z7

[Extreme Z7]

<08-22-2016>
Laziness Part 2

[Extreme Z7]

<08-23-2016>
Unable to Fully Accept Emotionally Challenging Tasks

Over the past couple weeks, I've been dealing with a lot of internal pain and pressure to do this and do that but I can't help but procrastinate too much and guilt myself when I do. A few minutes ago, I started feel some progress away from this and actually got very mindful of the present moment every "negative" sensation I felt simply dissolved into pure perception. I guess, after a while, your feet do get used to the fire of reality. The question on my mind is, how deep can I take this and for how long can I hold it?

Feelings of stress and frustration characterize this phase I'm moving through. Last month, I've been able to reach a peak of high performance and productivity that I've never experienced before but now I've definitely backslided. I think it's because of a return of a lot of duties and obligations that I actually don't enjoy doing but have to do anyway if I am to survive in this world, physically. In my case it's college work, the only work I really enjoy is creative work so I can't get myself motivated for this very much so uncontrollable procrastination is having its dark return.

Somehow I feel it does not have to be this way. If I can just get used to the painful emotions a lot more then I feel I should be able to accomplish these unwanted goals very quickly.

[Extreme Z7]

<08-24-2016>
Combating Stress With 'Do Nothing'
 

I had a lot of unexpected stress panics today. Eventually, I just couldn't bare to handle them anymore so I shut down my computer and the lights to my room and began to lie in bed quietly. I started noticing everything in my present awareness to the best of my ability. Every emotion, every thought, every motivation I currently had to do the things I keep telling myself I need to do. So many things happened afterwards that I don't want to detail them all. Just know that I felt instantly happier and more conscious of the fact that I had no reason to be stressed and I was creating everything I was being stressed about. It feels like a step closer to this weird concept called 'unconditional happiness' which has been mentioned many times in Leo's videos. I could actually feel that my ego has a lot of resistance to being happy no matter what whether I'm working on something or doing nothing.

That's all I want to say for today. I have more work to do.

[Extreme Z7]

<08-25-2016>
Pretty Ok Day


Today was a pretty ok day. Nothing too nasty, nothing too inspiring. Very different from yesterday which felt a bit too stressful but also had a moment of pure present awareness and excitement for the future. I guess the gauge of daily intensity doesn't like consistency. That's all for today. Again, pretty even flowing day, there were still a lot of waves, of course, but nothing I couldn't handle.

[Extreme Z7]

<08-26-2016>
Getting Inspired To Be Creative
 

I've think I've found my true creative passion. I love to draw and visualize ideas onto the real world through visual means, I also love to do it through audio or game design but being a visual storyteller is where my heart lies. A thought crossed my mind today about asking what it would be like if I gave up drawing and pursued something else (Not that I was considering it, I was just curious) and I found that I just couldn't bear to handle removing it from my life. Meanwhile, if I'm ever barred from making music or coding/game design for the rest of my life, I could still make the most of it.

Now I find that I've gotten a step upwards and now have to focus on getting inspired and positively motivated to embody the creativity that I want to contribute to the world. Reduce as much guilting, moralizing, or any negativity based emotion that I've used to rely on so much to get myself to do stuff. Being inspired to create a funny cartoon is loads more fun than telling myself that I have to do it because it's my life purpose. I have a lot to learn, a lot of effort to expend, a lot of time to practice, before I can tell myself that I can die happy.

EDIT: I stumbled upon this Rupert Spira video a minute after writing this entry, I thought it was really amazing so I thought I'd share:

 

Edited August 26, 2016 by Extreme Z7

[Extreme Z7]

<08-28-2016>
Not Even Baby Steps Each Day But Little Caterpillar Squirms
 

But hey, it's still progress!

Edited August 27, 2016 by Extreme Z7

[Extreme Z7]

<08-28-2016>
I Have No Clue What I Want To Write About Today So Here's A YouTube Animation To Make Up For It
 

 

Edited August 29, 2016 by Extreme Z7

[Extreme Z7]

<08-29-2016>
Sick Of My Rut!
 

I'm sick of all my emotional troubles, I'm sick of living in mediocrity, and I'm deeply frustrated with my procrastination. I really want to live an amazing high-quality lifestyle but I find that I'm still struggling with distractions. It's days like these when I feel like I should target a certain unhelpful habit and just quit it for about a week and see what happens. I probably will do that because I can't afford to sit around and waste my time at the current stage of my life. I have a lot of troubles the require massive consistent action that my lower self wants to avoid for the sake of lessening the burden of emotional labor. Right now, I want to make a simple commitment to not play any video games for a week and just see what happens. I do not want to face the guilt of lost of productivity because I wanted to distract myself for a few hours. It's not enough that I just finish my obligations, though, I feel that my life purpose is on the line too. I find that my creativity and motivation to pursue my dreams falters when I'm in a emotionally negative state. My life purpose is so significant to me that it's almost like a life or death situation at this point.

[Extreme Z7]

<08-30-2016>
I Feel Good
 

I feel much better today than I was yesterday. Today, I basically cut out a lot of distraction to make room for more productive work and the guilt and shame I felt from yesterday didn't arise again. I'm still being patient still slowly working towards higher goals and higher achievements but a lot of the lesser short-term goals are still important for me to finish. If I can't help but distract myself from all the small obligations I need to complete, how am I ever going to handle the pressure of pursuing my higher ambitions? I really need to keep reminding myself of this, otherwise I remain a slave to my distractions for even more days.

[Extreme Z7]

<08-31-2016>
I'm A Workaholic
 

Just a little thought that crossed my mind today. I know I've talked about it before but I always seem to forget about it. Fortunately, over the previous months with my meditation and mindfulness work, I've been slowly transforming my life to feel a lot calmer and less work-centric but I still am neurotically work driven. But on the other hand, I also find myself working a lot more because my higher levels of awareness and emotional control allow me to work harder and faster without too much procrastination. Still can't wait to get out of college, though, because by then a huge workload will have been taken off my back (If I've done my work properly, that is).

[Extreme Z7]

<09-01-2016>

Should I Think 10 Years In The Future Or Be More Present?

 

Obviously the answer is both. Thinking far into the future also feels like I'm grounding myself more on the present so I can keep pursuing my higher goals. This is taking a lot of patience from me but as long as I keep at it daily, I shouldn't have too much of a problem. Anyway, I worked a lot on my indie game today, I spent my entire morning on it because I had a lot of ideas that just took me a lot of time to implement. I also had a bit of college work to do, I half-assed it thought because it's not something I have a real passion for. As for drawing, I have not done it yet but I plan to do some more practice tonight before I go to bed.

That's all for today, nothing too special, just more productivity and contemplating.