need other people's perspectives

[Lincisman]

This post is quite long but I felt I have to tell these memories just to understand myself better. 

Throughout my life, I was more interested in people rather than things. I was into philosophical ideas, psychology, the mind, and self-help. When I was 14-16 I remember getting excited reading the book by Arthur Schopenhauer called “The wisdom of life”.

Feeling deep curiosity then I realized that meditation does work and wanted to find out how and invent more such techniques. When I was A kid I recall reading an article about how communication between people works (mostly because I was deficient in that area).

One of the earliest memories I had was being into reading some book which was a compilation of short stories about monks. All of them had some piece of wisdom in them. That's probably why I read them.

All in all, since I was 10 years old kid, I was into philosophy and self-help because I did not feel good about myself, so I tried to find a solution. That’s what it was if I think about it.

Moreover, in school remember enjoying literature classes. We analyzed some literary works like Crime and punishment and tried to understand what the character was feeling, what were the motives for their actions, how the story can be related to the actual author’s life, etc. I remember being on the edge of my seat.

 I came to realize I enjoyed crafting and writing the essays (It happened then I got better at it). The teacher gave us a topic like “The importance of love in literature” It had a set structure of Introduction, body (2 paragraphs - statement, and 2-3 arguments to support it and conclusion. So I had to think through the whole argument and articulate it as best as I can. I recall the feeling when I had a blank sheet of paper, going through the literature that I have read to make solid arguments, It was quite fun.

The external influence and ignorance on my part led me to become a software engineering major in college. (3.5 years of studying)

I thought this would be a get-decent-income-relatively-quick scheme + I get to live in a capital city which means more socialization.

So I finished the first year and it was absolutely useless in terms of software skills. Classes do not offer any value.

A guy who is up for getting his Ph.D. told me that it is normal and next year will be better.

So I think that I should just focus on my career software skills (to eventually get a decent-paying job and get financial needs met) and socialization.

The question is what should I do with the fact that I am more interested (and it is more meaningful) in philosophy, psychology, etc. than software? Should I just learn software and have faith that passion and meaning (because right now I don't find it meaningful) will emerge with having enough skills? Or do other things on the side? 

Taking into account the fact that my initial interest and meaning in all these topics stems from a lack of fulfillment that I experienced when I was a young kid.

I am almost 21 years old. With this post, I am trying to articulate things for myself. Any input would be very appreciated.

[AtheisticNonduality]

Nobody's bitten this post yet. I'll probably come back later to write something more thoughtful.

[TurquoiseAngel]

You don't always need to link your passion to your profession. It is cool if happens but if doesn't it is also okay.

It is okay to have a job just for the purpose to make money and pursue your interests and your fun on your spare time. Unless the job makes you utterly miserable and give you no free time at all, but that is another story.

You are very young, have so much time and is already ahead of most your age.. You will figure as you go and don't be scared of making mistakes.

[Devin]

@Lincisman

So long as you don't work too much, your time at work can just be cathartic once you figure it out, like meditation, and then you have your mental energy for your passion after work. Work could be a cathartic break.

and actually you can even do this in a toxic work environment if you get deep enough in your spirituality and consciousness, and the time at work might be looked at as spreading love or consciousness even and you don't really focus on the work as your purpose.

I'm not a life purpose person though so take that with a grain of salt. You definitely won't climb a corporate ladder like a raider listening to me.

Edited August 12, 2022 by Devin

[Ulax]

What do you like about philosophy? For example, some people really like the ideas, some people really like argumentative precision (i.e. love logic), or something else.