What does it mean to be a man ?

[Someone here]

Being a man is difficult. Being ‘male’ can be a matter of fact, but being a man feels more like a matter of opinion. A lot of what relates to being a man can be both suffocating and unattainable.

Being a man in 2022 means being comfortable with a much broader idea of masculinity. The ideas about what makes a man feel a lot less restrictive than they were in the past. It‘s much more acceptable for men to openly express their emotions, talk about how we’re feeling, be caring and not fit into traditional ideas of what makes a man. There’s still a long way to go, but this is a really positive development in the right direction.

In my opinion..Being a man to me means being unapologetically you. It means not being afraid to show the world who you are, exactly as you are. Being a man is never Being afraid to show your emotions, to be the little spoon and to ask for help when you need it. Being a man  means rejecting toxic masculinity, embracing your weakness and vulnerabilities. 

What does it mean to be a man for you ? Is there a clear definition? Specific traits ? Should you be toxic and tough and hard nosed and irritating person to be a "real man "? Because that's the image society is trying to draw for what makes a perfect man . And others who lack these qualities are considered faggots or "beta " males.

Curious about people's opinions on this topic .

[NoSelfSelf]

Many ways to describe it...one that i like is being a constant.... meaning nothing moves you from the core of who you are and what you are about....

Second that really helps hes all about himself not a follower but a creator he influence others....

Its all a mindset game man is a strong set of mindsets and rules he follows for himself...

[Nilsi]

https://civilizationemerging.com/what-i-learned-about-being-a-man-from-my-dad/ 

@Carl-Richard shared this yesterday. I found it pretty sweet and inspiring.

[Breakingthewall]

For me, to be honest, integral, independent, brave, and willing to putting the truth before your interest. the opposite seems to me to be a piece of shit, which is what abounds the most

[Someone here]

8 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Many ways to describe it...one that i like is being a constant.... meaning nothing moves you from the core of who you are and what you are about....

Second that really helps hes all about himself not a follower but a creator he influence others....

Its all a mindset game man is a strong set of mindsets and rules he follows for himself...

How about caring and protecting a family.  Is that a sole responsibility on a man alone?...My identity as a man is centered around my family. I have done my best to love, support and provide for them and feel that I did a pretty good job even when faced with hardships. I believe that respecting others, doing the right thing, and a hint of altruism is essential to being a decent man.

[Someone here]

7 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

For me, to be honest, integral, independent, brave, and willing to putting the truth before your interest. the opposite seems to me to be a piece of shit, which is what abounds the most

When I hear the world masculinity, I think of the very stereotypical stuff that’s often lampooned in media : rugged beard, chopping wood,  not talking about feelings, watching second world war films and going to football games.

I’ve come to dislike what the word stands for. It’s not like I’m super far away from things you’d expect from someone “masculine” .. I enjoy football, I play a lot of video games, I’m tall and well-built and fairly hairy. But I also like complimenting my friends on how they look, talk about my feelings etc.

 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Someone here You are not a man,thats your first problem if you think you are something you are not you cant become it...

Depends of where does it come from do you need that family or you want that family around you...

If you depend on family as identity,support,validation,care what they think about you,trying to impress them then you are not a man...

Thing is if culture said that you should protect family and that what man should do then you are not a man...

Man stand on his own morals and principles thats why there are such few real man around...

 

[Someone here]

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Someone here You are not a man,thats your first problem if you think you are something you are not you cant become it...

Depends of where does it come from do you need that family or you want that family around you...

If you depend on family as identity,support,validation,care what they think about you,trying to impress them then you are not a man...

Thing is if culture said that you should protect family and that what man should do then you are not a man...

Man stand on his own morals and principles thats why there are such few real man around...

 

What do you mean "I'm not a man "? ? I mean I'm not non-binary . Or do you think that gender is a social construct as Leo talked about  .

Idk there is a lot of social expectations from men and how they should act and what it means to be masculine.  To be the provider of a family .to work hard .Work your ass off every day all day to put food on the table.

I think the main challenge for men today is the difficulty that comes with shedding old-fashioned ideas of masculinity. The idea of treating sex as a reward for hard work, promoting the idea of harassing women or almost tricking women into sex, was really normalised for me as a kid through a lot of TV and films, even family-friendly.

On top of that, I grew up in a friendship group of guys who only knew how to communicate to each other through insults and jokes at each other’s expense, and it’s taken me years of actively fighting that to stop myself from just being mean to my male friends. Every now and again I’ll still do it, almost as a reflex, but I try my best to be more kind and complimentary. But I think it’s so difficult for men today to retrain their brains and behaviours, because so many of us are brought up to act a certain way

[NoSelfSelf]

@Someone here you are not a man,you are a guy...dick doesnt make you a man ?...

See the way you are typing shows you are not a man...man doesnt care about social norms and what they tell you to do...

Main challenge ? you made it look so easy there...man picks his challenges that are the worst for him to grow...

Man is defined by his actions and if you dont like work then dont do it not everyone is made up to be a man...

Shedding old fashioned ideas of masculinity lmao you should embrace them

Those are loser friends you need to lose....

Then dont retrain them but dont expect the benefits of being a man...

You want the benefits without work wont work...

First step to be a man is to communicate with yourself by finding your own voice and shutting down voices of everyone else...

[Mulky]

I always thought this was a weird question.  If we aren't talking about having a penis, if we are talking about something else, here's my take.  You or anyone sits there and wonders, "what is a man" now what is really going on here.  They are wondering, "what is this thing I am wondering about".   Are you wondering what a man is supposed to be, are you wondering what you are supposed to be, are you wondering what you are?  You are wondering about an idea you already have.  You are wondering about the idea of what a man is, and trying to find out what idea matches up with it.  Any idea of what a man is will match up with whatever idea of a man is identical to it, you are just matching up 2 ideas.

 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Mulky Then idea of getting cheated and used by a woman is just an idea when it happens just make sure to say its just an idea and move on doing what you doing ?

[Someone here]

@NoSelfSelf I agree ,dick only makes me a male . But being a man is different story .

I agree with the points you mentioned about taking ownership of the trajectory of our life .being our own bosses.  However not all men are masculine enough to take responsibility in life . That's something I'm struggling with myself. 

Masculinity to me is defined by a man’s drive, motivation and compassion.  A man in previous decades was defined as tough, rugged and mean. No smiling, except at a woman .. and no homosexuality at all. When i found out that  i might be gay, that changed attitudes. And rewired my entire belief of what makes a man a man.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Someone here Yep you define yourself and probably through your own understanding you will realize that you cant do stuff withouth being tough so you have to be one because you have it in you to beat the odds and the game of life if you can beat it ?

But becoming a man because of others and what you get will never make you one it will always make you feel weak but you dont like it...(beating a dead horse by now)

[Mulky]

15 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Mulky Then idea of getting cheated and used by a woman is just an idea when it happens just make sure to say its just an idea and move on doing what you doing ?

This makes it seem like what you are talking about is- what is the kind of man that a woman wants.  It seems like under it all your looking at it all from a woman's perspective and trying to figure out what they want.  I think when you say real man, this is what you're talking about.

Edited June 28, 2022 by Mulky
thought of something else

[puporing]

Love.

[Raze]

Read way of the superior man 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Mulky Nooo dude thats what you thinking...its has nothing to do with woman if you think that you are done you wont go nowhere just a fake front of a male...

[Mulky]

well now we agree on something

[actuallyenlightened]

Basically a man needs to be able to: 

"change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly." (Robert Anson Heinlein)

Having a faint grin on your face because you know you can do at least a few of these things would be non-toxic. 

Trying to convince others that you can do any of these things without actually being able to do so would be toxic and beta

[Mulky]

I sort of like that description.  A man has to be what is needed in his place and time

Edited June 28, 2022 by Mulky
thought of something else