How do I get rid of phone addiction once and for all...

[Illusory Self]

I often get thoughts "I must turn my phone off do not disturb to see who has messaged me". These thoughts are very frequent and I typically fall prey to them. Some days when I am in the midst of an ego backlash, I can compulsively check my phone every 5 minutes. I feel EXTREMELY irritated if i do not check my device. Even if no one messages me. It is just this need to stimulate my dopamine receptors of having that possible reward being the message which is completely unknown. 

I have suffered with this addiction for some time now and it feels so extremely hard to rewire my brain to not even find checking my phone that rewarding. I particularly check my phone to see if any girls message me via text, online dating etc.. 

ideally I would just check my phone 3-4 times a day briefly instead of compulsively when I don't even need to. Oh it gets even worse, I can check my phone to consume incredibly toxic content on youtube because I seem to find it entertaining. I could literally be on youtube watching loads of videos in the PUA community of people just talking, criticising each other, hour long interviews.. It is not like I am learning anything new as I know most of the theory but seem to watch just for the entertainment sake. Why is that? I would rather do that than watch a good quality movie, that is more entertaining for some reason. 

I feel like my phone addiction is really holding me back in life. I get these thoughts all too often. Even when outside. Is it normal? Is my brain just craving stimulation

I am trying to find a good IOS app that tracks my screen time usage if anyone has any suggestions

Edited June 25, 2022 by Illusory Self

[JonasVE12]

When you sit still and you don't do anything for a while, automatically your uncomfortable feelings are going to come up. Because when you are sitting still and not doing anything, you are going to sink deeper into your body. And when you feel your body more, you are going to feel all the stuff that is inside your body. If you have negative feelings, those will come up. And so you are probably using all that stuff just to avoid the uncomfortable feelings.

Try to commit to a month of just being with yourself. Leave your laptop and phone off. Only check it for stuff that's necessary. Don't do anything other than just being. quit the 'doing' for that month.

Your emotional baggage will come up. At first, your mind will generate thousands of thoughts telling you to distract and 'do'. And your body will feel painful and it will have this strong pull/urge to do anything other than to be. 

The first 2 weeks are the hardest. If you can overcome any urge you have and still commit to the whole month, you'll find that after those 2 initial weeks it all becomes easy and you'll be much happier. You'll become so much more present. Just try it and see for yourself how good it feels. Achieving goals is so much easier at this point. 

[Yarco]

First realize that you're assuming you need to keep a smartphone at all

This guy has several videos about it, this is the most recent one after 18 months but you can go back and watch the others about how his memory improved and other benefits after going back to a flip phone aka "dumb phone".

Before you make some excuse about why you can't live without one... he runs a business and YouTube channel without one. And everyone in existence managed without one up until about 20 years ago.

Why don't you turn your phone off entirely and lock it in a drawer for a day and see what happens? 

[Thought Art]

I stopped paying for internet in my house. 

I only pay for data and if I run out I run out.

I struggled for years.

 

[Mikey]

It's called addiction. Like when you go to slots at the casino. This is a sign your mind wants to shut off. Ego backlash? Could just be anxiety. Don't be dependent on your phone. Use it to write down thoughts in your notepad, or to set an alarm, or to watch videos when you're bored. Not as a source of happiness.

[UnbornTao]

Turn it off. Sell it, give it or throw it away.

If you find yourself using it more than you like, your intention to freeing yourself from that addiction isn't solid enough. It might even not be there at all, which is proved by the fact that you still use it compulsively.

Not saying you have to stop using it, or that it has to be used either, for that matter.

Edited June 30, 2022 by UnbornTao

[lisindel]

Try keeping your phone locked and put away for a couple of hours everyday. 

Or keep a track on how much you use your phone everyday and gradually taper off. 

 

[Ulax]

I'd go do a depth psychotherapy and/ or check whether you have ADHD

[Ayham]

OK, so your problem is phone addiction? been there, here is how to solve it, step by step

first you need to know that even if you get rid of your phone, you will replace the addiction with something else, so you need to tackle the problem from the inside and the outside.

step 1: The inside

so here we will attempt to tackle your addiction from the inside, here is what you need:

• Meditation (1 hour, whatever technique you like but you have to combine that technique with strong determination sitting, so basically you have to not move an inch, start with 20 minutes, increase 5 minutes each month.)
• Mindfulness when using phone (see Leo`s video "awareness alone is curative")
• have a vision of where you want to be, immerse it in yourself, in your subconscious, make it your primary concern

step 2: the outside

this will NOT work if you don't have the inside basis, but you can do it immediately and continue working on the inside slowly since it is long term

1. Remove: go through your phone, ask yourself about each single app "does this app serve me?" if it does not, delete it, and dont keep the "just in case" apps.
2. Replace: anything you use that can be switched to desktop, delete it from phone and keep it on desktop
3. Rearrange: keep distracting apps out of the home screen.
4. Reclaim: learn to use the "don't disturb mode" block almost all notification

and lastly you need a habit to replace your phone with, so whenever the urge to check your phone comes, do this habit, it should be a healthy habit, like reading for example.