Should i break up with my GF

[evgn]

Almost one year ago i would say that i found a GF that i was thinking that we will have very long future with her. I thought that i found the girl of my life, i hadnt had serious relationship before that. I thought that i will never have a chance with a girl like this but i took a shot and the things happend, we became a couple.

Everything was great in the beggining but after couple a months i started to feel that i dont want a GF. I feel that my life is better without one, i feel like i am in prison even thoug she is not obsessive at all. She is aware of my situation and she is very supportive. Also she never pushes me for anything. She loves me alot and i can see that, she could do everything for me. Also she is model looking girl and have a brith future as a Doctor. 

I don't enjoy the sex with her eventhough she is very hot. Eveything apart from that is great. 

I dont know why i am so misrable and unhapy with this relationship. I am thinking for breaking up every day but i know that i will never ever find a girl like her.

Yesterday i told her that i am not happy with my life and my relationship with her. She was very upset and start crying. I told her that we are not breaking but i am just saying that i am misrable and depressed.

I dont know what to do.....

[Thought Art]

Sounds like a good thing to is to break up. Theres thousands and thousands of beautiful women. You can ask yourself "What am I really holding onto if I don't enjoy the relationship? What are these superficials of her looking like a model worth if I am not happy with her?"

1. What do I want right now? 

2. What would I do if I wasn't afraid?

I've been in similar situations. Maybe the problem is you are imagining the relationship to last forever instead of enjoying the energetics and polarity between you in the moment and day to day. 

Don't build yourself a prison or think you are losing something by breaking up. 

Have you heard of Sofia Sundari? I like her work on relationship coaching and energetics. She talks a lot about how to feel the energy, how to go for what you want, how to come from abundance and how to step into your male energy and own your cock.

I would trust want you really want each day. Which, seems to be leaving. If you wanted to be in the relationship, perhaps you wouldn't be thinking these thoughts eh?

You must decide. Write about it.

Pull off the fucking band aid. 

Edited June 25, 2022 by Thought Art

[evgn]

She is very good person, i think this is what is so hard for me to let her go..

[TurquoiseAngel]

31 minutes ago, evgn said:

Almost one year ago i would say that i found a GF that i was thinking that we will have very long future with her. I thought that i found the girl of my life, i hadnt had serious relationship before that. I thought that i will never have a chance with a girl like this but i took a shot and the things happend, we became a couple.

Everything was great in the beggining but after couple a months i started to feel that i dont want a GF. I feel that my life is better without one, i feel like i am in prison even thoug she is not obsessive at all. She is aware of my situation and she is very supportive. Also she never pushes me for anything. She loves me alot and i can see that, she could do everything for me. Also she is model looking girl and have a brith future as a Doctor. 

I don't enjoy the sex with her eventhough she is very hot. Eveything apart from that is great. 

I dont know why i am so misrable and unhapy with this relationship. I am thinking for breaking up every day but i know that i will never ever find a girl like her.

Yesterday i told her that i am not happy with my life and my relationship with her. She was very upset and start crying. I told her that we are not breaking but i am just saying that i am misrable and depressed.

I dont know what to do.....

Are you sure you are straight? Just asking questions...

[evgn]

9 minutes ago, TurquoiseAngel said:

Are you sure you are straight? Just asking questions...

No problem, yes 100%..

[TurquoiseAngel]

4 minutes ago, evgn said:

No problem, yes 100%..

Let her be free to find someone who will passionately love her, enjoy being with her, have sex with her and build a future with her. Tell her that you care about her happiness and you are not the guy who will give her the love and appreciation she deserves. She might suffer at the beginning but she will thank you later. Be kind, compassionate, answer her questions honestly but with gentleness. Do it face to face in a safe environment where she can cry if she needs to and have time to composure herself. 

[Thought Art]

Seems the most loving thing to do, it so go your own way.

[Leo Gura]

@evgn Check that your depression and misery isn't coming from some other aspect of your life.

She sounds like a good girl. Don't just throw it away.

And also, why don't you like having sex with her???

[evgn]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@evgn Check that your depression and misery isn't coming from some other aspect of your life.

She sounds like a good girl. Don't just throw it away.

And also, why don't you like having sex with her???

Yes, you might be right. My problems might be coming from other aspects. 

I am still strugling with my career and i am 28, i havent found what i want to do with my life and that is really big burden for me...

Regarding the sex question, i feel like she can't arouse me sexually much. I have a problem with porn addiction so that might be the cause of it.

Edited June 26, 2022 by evgn

[Breakingthewall]

I would do what I really want, and in this case it seems to finishing. it's a shitty situation where doubts drive you crazy, but it's part of the process of understanding who you really are, what you want from life. I would listen to my inner voice and I would not give it more laps

[Kamo]

5 hours ago, evgn said:

Regarding the sex question, i feel like she can't arouse me sexually much. I have a problem with porn addiction so that might be the cause of it.

Yeah it most likely is. I would say dont watch porn for a week, 7 days at least. Then have sex with her. See if anything is different. I bet you it will be.

[Loving Radiance]

1. Cut out porn.
2. Figure out your life purpose.
3. Perhaps break up, when you did step 1 & 2 and still feel limited and unhappy in your relationship.

[somegirl]

@evgn You sound like you are depressed. That this has nothing to do with her, but rather you. 

I agree that she deserves someone who will absolutely love her, but I think you should maybe try and see if you can fix yourself.

And then if you're still unhappy, you know what to do.

[Raze]

Are you low vitamin D or low testosterone?

[Breakingthewall]

there is a subtle way to prostitute yourself. you really want to have beautiful girls by your side, who take pleasure in having you by your side and having you pleasure with them, but this is difficult. there are many girls who really want and need stability. So you give them stability, which you really don't want, to get them around in return. In addition, your insecurity prevents you from another type of more open relationship. then you're not happy, and you don't know why. Well, because you're not doing what you want, you're subdued. I'm not saying that's the case but it's easy to fall in that 

Edited June 27, 2022 by Breakingthewall

[somegirl]

15 minutes ago, JoeVolcano said:

unbelievable...

You should try that with me.

?

[Eph75]

@somegirl

I second that, and it's already been implied. 

@evgn

The question becomes, has the relationship put you into a depressed state, or is what you experience with the relationship a side-effect of the depressed state. 

Depression can make sex not enjoyable, it can becomes an act that is best gotten over with, but is not denied for the sake of other. Been there, I felt like I was suffocating, literally could not breath, and focused just on breathing to, what felt like, being able to survive. 

That was not about anyone else than about me, but at that point in time, I had made it about someone else, as an ego defense mechanism. 

It's easy to shift attention and focus onto other when what we need to do is to internalize that focus to sort something within ourselves out.

It's easy to have knee-jerk reactions, and as noble it may seem, to take the blame for being the problem, it might be completely unnecessary to throw something good away, if the "problem" is you.

You can run from the situation, but you cannot run from yourself. 

Focusing on dealing with the depression, and having your girlfriend whom sounds like she is a supporting person to help you get through this sounds like the right thing to do at this point. 

A daunting task, but it can be done. And support is needed, if nothing else than having someone there that can truly listen to how we feel, so that we can make better sense of ourselves, and what we need to do to get better.

Just as @somegirl says, when you get that sorted out, you will have gained clarity and ability to soberly assess the situation, if there's more to this than a side-effect of the depressive state.

Edited June 27, 2022 by Eph75

[Eph75]

On 2022-06-26 at 7:42 PM, evgn said:

I am still strugling with my career and i am 28, i havent found what i want to do with my life and that is really big burden for me..

The whole obsession with career and finding ones life purpose can be toxic and anxiety inducing. 

What role does this play in you feeling depressed? 

Finding life purpose is supposed to be something that is freeing not the source of feeling like you're failing someone, society or self.

The challenges to get "there" will cause some anxiety, but that's healthy challenging of internal resistance.

Not having found what your direction is shouldn't make you feel bad.

That's more connected to the false expectations, and probably impatience driven by instant gratification, social media so on.

So what if you find your true purpose at 30, 35, 45 or later?  It's the journey that matters, and the path will unfold when your focus is right. The path is not straight and has many forks on it, and some dead ends. 

Focusing on things that causes us stress won't help. Rather, it's probably pointing you to exactly with you need to deal with, which is tending to your own growth, by looking at what/why that stress arises in you. 

"Actualizing oneself" does not equate to being successful in the achiever sense, wealth, fame, status.

That's something that inevitably will have to be transcended anyways, but to be able to do so, you first have to do the journey on which your path there sooner or later will show up.

Enjoy that journey, that's all we can do. 

[bejapuskas]

I agree with what was said before, I think she sounds good and could be worked on, if you find her hot and she is nice like that too and works on herself. Check this out perhaps, it is a really eye opening video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8ft0PHdVlU&ab_channel=HealthyGamerGG

[integral]

Stop watching porn and master bating, this is the root of the problem. Porn Addiction. 

Edited June 28, 2022 by integral