How to find things that are enjoyable?

[Illusory Self]

I find myself attempting to get better, develop myself in different areas of my life but that is what mostly my life feels like it is about. I want to do things that I genuinely enjoy doing outside of constantly trying to improve myself because I know I will eventually burn out but I don't seem to enjoy anything. 

How much time should I spend on recreational activities because in the past when I burn out I typically resort to mind numbing T.V and social media to distract myself but I don't enjoy that, I just do that as a distraction because I feel exhausted. 

How do I go about finding things that I enjoy & how much time should I allocate to it. I find a lot of the time that I am thinking about the next thing to accomplish when I am going for a walk or with my family. I want to ideally set a period of time for myself just doing what I enjoy without the pressure of feeling like I need to try to achieve something. 

I tend to put a lot of mental pressure on myself when I am doing activities that feel like I am wasting my time. I almost feel like I cannot even find enjoyment in anything because my mind will be like 'I should be working on my business' or 'I'm wasting my time'.

My schedule currently feels so hectic with trying to improve my dating/education/bodybuilding/finances/spiritual life that it all seems like I am trying to just self improve constantly but from past experience that tends to lead to burn out & I end up self indulging in hedonistic pleasures, laying in bed & not doing anything.

I need a healthy strategy to cope with this because otherwise I always seem to fall back to square one.

I am just trying to think how on much 'me' time I need to allocate outside of constant self improvement & what to do as most things just tend to feel like one huge grind for me. 

I am also scared that my mind will want to self improve, even if I do allocate time for myself outside of personal development which will make the experience unenjoyable

[sholomar]

For me social media is a trap... it doesn't actually relax me, it keeps my nervous system overstimulated.  Most articles you find on the topic talk about children, but it applies to adults also.

https://www.newworldlibrary.com/ArticleDetails/tabid/230/ArticleID/339/Default.aspx

I've banned myself from the city-data and godlikeproductions forums for now, trying to cut wasteful idle screen time. I'd say the healthiest thing would be to replace screen time with time that is spent being mindful, present moment focused, or in a state of what is called "open focus" ... this will relax the nervous system, decrease stress levels, eliminate cheap and easy sources of dopamine, and make it easier to start healthy habits. It will cultivate an alpha brainwave state which makes new learning and self improvement easier.

As far as new habits go, what matters more than how much time you spend doing them is that you do them every day. They always say when learning piano or guitar you are better off spending 15-30 minutes every day practicing rather than 4 hours a day, twice a week. It has to do with how the brain adopts new behaviors.   Start out with 5 minutes of your new habit every day, and increase until you are at the level you want. For a new behavior to become automatic, do it every day. There are exceptions to this rule, such as with weight lifting.

For me the dopamine withdraw process was helpful to find new activities I enjoyed... when stuck on screens, fapping, video games, food, drugs, and other "easy" dopamine sources the body will be less driven to want to expand and grow, and will also tend to suffer from brain fog and zombie mode, feeling lazy and unmotivated. Not masturbating for me is key. Find more eudominic hobbies and less hedonic hobbies, like in Leo's happiness spectrum video.

Edited June 24, 2022 by sholomar

[sholomar]

29 minutes ago, Lewk said:

Everything is enjoyable. Going pro in gaming? Yes. Studying a subject with good brain wiring? Yes. Sex? Yes. Having your business succeed? Yes. And yet 99% of businesses fail while young people have never had less sex at any point in history.

For most men what nofap will do is make them more motivated, enjoy sex more and able to get hard more easily.

> and godlikeproductions forums for now

I'm literally reading their threads on abortion right now as I read this.

Everything in moderation. Everyone has different life goals. There's nothing wrong with a gaming marathon if you have achieved your goals. Life is really a mind-trick. Being happy is a matter of perception and mindset combined with what your genetics wants you to do because of evolutionary drives. Thoughts create reality... haven't you seen Joe Dispenza's TV series called Rewired? If you are happy with your life, doing what you do, letting other people tell you that what you are doing is "bad" or "wrong" us utterly pointless. Do what you love, do what makes you happy. Let God be the judge. "Judgment is mine, sayeth the lord."  Only you know if you are truly happy, or if there is an emptiness inside from what you do.   I plan to be first in line to get a Geforce 4080 and pop it until my Intel 12600K system.

Edited June 24, 2022 by sholomar