Its unbearable and harsh on me

[Ingit]

I am sorry to post again and again regarding this but my possessiveness and insecurity are to the roof... My every past relationship had been full of anxiety and insecurity... my body literally punishes me everytime... Currently I am in a living relationship... but due to my night shifts I become so anxious and think if My girl would be cheating...why didn't she texts me... When I will get her text I will feel good for few hours but the feelings of insecurity and anxiety returns again and I feel suffocated /        My first relationship had left me so trauma that I don't trust any girl and always have fear of loosing someone which is the main reason my every relationship failed just because I pushed every other girl out of my insecurity and quarrels.... what should I do,,,i feel like I could never overcome this...... writing from my bottom of my heart

[Roy]

The truth is you have no control over what they may or may not do, but you do have control over how you perceive that vulnerability. The more open and trusting you are of your partner, the more they will appreciate you and won't want to abuse that trust.

It's counter-intuitive. You will gain the most strength by completely letting go and opening up to the possibility something will go wrong.

[Leo Gura]

You have to confront and address the traumatic experience that led this fear in you. And then reframe that bad experience as a one-off, not indicative of most girls. Most girls are actually overly loyal.

You also have to confront and accept your greatest fear: of losing your girl. Rather than trying to prevent it.

Your whole attitude towards girls needs to change so you are not trying to keep or control them. If a girl wants to leave you, let her. When you find the right girl she will never cheat or leave. You don't even need to think about it.

Also, you gotta learn to trust your girl. Even if girls in the past abused your trust. New girl, new trust. Don't carry old shit over to your new girl.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Ingit Bottom line is you dont like yourself so why would a girl like you? so you push her away...overly dependant on a woman not dependant on yourself! thats the root issue...

As long as you dont become the person you are meant to be and become no1 person in your life source of everything and that woman is only a desert in your life this will repeat...

[Salvijus]

2 hours ago, Ingit said:

what should I do,,,i feel like I could never overcome this...... writing from my bottom of my heart

U don't need to overcome it. Just be 100% honest about. Face the feelings of fear and insecurity head on. Embrace them. That's what u feel. Accept it. Accept it totally.

If u do it right, it will lead to revolution and a new sense of freedom. Best done in a quiet setting, with no distractions and eyes closed for a minute or two.

There's nothing in existence that can't be accepted.

Edited June 22, 2022 by Salvijus

[somegirl]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

If a girl wants to leave you, let her.

So true. Why would a person keep someone who wants to leave them? The very fact that they want to leave and end this relationship should be enough of a sign for anyone to let go of such person. She/he is obviously not "the one". Otherwise they wouldn't wanna leave!

Ugh. I wish my ex just let me leave without making few attempts to convince me to stay and "we can work it out together" and guilt- tripping me stuff. Just let me leave. I don't want you.

[somegirl]

@Ingit Just because you had a bad experience with your previous relationship, does not mean every next relationship is going to be like that. I don't know why you let yourself generalize and put every single girl under same category after just one bad encounter with a girl before.

Second, if a person wants to leave you, you cannot do anything about it. But the good thing is, the very fact that they decided that they wanna leave you, should be enough of a sign for you that they are not the right person or "the one" anyway. You don't want to have people who are in your life out of pity. You want people who genuinely want to be part of your life, by their own free will. 

The right people wouldn't wanna leave you ever and will work through every issue with you. 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3miuaOWsj8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLH7yUwkBPg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCe5mBNin_A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVqANXVTLN4

http://happinessbeyondthought.blogspot.com/2012/05/surrendering-i-letting-go-of-suffering.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MU1Rp184IT4

 

Edited June 22, 2022 by Raze