Psychological Dating Advice for Men

[Razard86]

If you want books that can teach you certain perspectives that will change the way you see yourself and help you I present to you some books that can give you the insight you need. Spirituality will take you further than these books but these books are foundational.

Atomic Attraction: This book teaches you the paradoxical relationship between security and attraction. Its a mindfuck as a man, but the author has time tested principles. Also me and my friend have tested some of them...and well let's just say they work. They work because the psychology of this is actually what drives fads, celebrity culture, and the stock market. Attraction is illusion, but an illusion that shapes majority of human behavior. So if you want to understand the Science of Attraction give this book a read.

The next book which is a Diamond in the Rough is Nice Guys and Players written by Rom Wills. This book teaches important fundamentals for the Modern Man to understand to put himself in the right perspective and path to be the best version of himself in the Dating Market.

The next follow up book, is called Sexual Chemistry written by Rom Wills. The concepts in these two books needs to be studied!!! Rom is all about exuding Masculine Energy and his books will teach you how to do that. He has a Youtube Channel as well so you can check him out here.

He's old school but his advice is valuable if you want to crack the code. I haven't met a Guru who knows the game better and I have listened to you don't want to know how many lol!!!

Note: Rom Wills is NOT a proponent of Cold Approach. I've noticed majority of Cold Approach people tend to come from the White Dating Gurus. Nothing wrong with that. But most Black Dating Gurus are going to tell you to look for choosing signals. And Pimps....lol they ONLY look for choosing signals. So notice that....even a PIMP wouldn't cold approach. 

This is not to demonize it, I believe cold approach can be a good way to get out of your shell, but so is doing stand-up lol. Also I'm not advocating or encouraging being a PIMP, but nobody understands female psychology more than a PIMP....nobody. So I bring them up because of that. Ironically if you read about PIMPS guess who they learned about women from? WOMEN lol. 

Anyway these 3 books can give you the foundation. There is a book that is REALLY out there. It works but you need some cajones if you are going to do it, and most aren't willing to do it. Its called Mode ONE. Mode ONE is effective....its so effective...if will flip your entire view of the dating world. It is literally the secret of not having to take a woman out on a date, and have sex. But...you need EXTREME CONFIDENCE to pull it off. 

The book is called Mode One written by Alan Roger Curry. I've seen it in action so I know it works. It is also based on HONESTY! RAW HONESTY!

Like I said in an earlier post....you guys have no idea how attractive honesty is to women....when done right. I'm not saying say everything in your mind, but I am saying, be bold enough to say something to her that would make the average man sweat and not back down because its how you REALLY FEEL. Masculinity is DIRECT! Femininity is INDIRECT. So the more DIRECT you are in communicating your desire to a woman the faster you will get results. 

Anyway, for me I am not interested in this stuff anymore because at the end of the day it is all ego games, I'm looking for something more profound in a relationship. But this stuff will really help you out if you still have that itch.

And as always... NOTHING BEATS DIRECT EXPERIENCE. SO GO OUT THERE AND SOCIALIZE!!!

 

Edited June 21, 2022 by Razard86

[something_else]

Quote

And as always... NOTHING BEATS DIRECT EXPERIENCE. SO GO OUT THERE AND SOCIALIZE!!!

Out of curiosity, how much direct experience do you have in this area?

[Razard86]

5 hours ago, something_else said:

Out of curiosity, how much direct experience do you have in this area?

No where near as much as my friend. Majority of my experience comes from interviews, and research. But I will say, I used the material I learned ONE time and got results the first time. I used it a second time and got immediate results the second time. I also had a woman who basically agreed with everything Rom Wills pretty much said. 

Rom wrote a book for women and if I told you what was in there as a man you would agree with what he says to women about what men want. These gurus cracked the code. Their perspective actually works. If you follow what they say you CAN get you a woman who looks like an 8 out of 10 or higher.

Problem is....how you choose to navigate the relationship that is on you. My issue is 99% of relationships are started from feelings lack. Majority of relationships among us humans is co-dependent. Co-dependent relationships are toxic and doomed before they even start.

[Razard86]

Now Atomic Attraction is very good at keeping spice in the relationship. It also reveals the paradoxical relationship between making a woman feel safe, and how that lowers attraction, and keeping your woman guessing which increases attraction. Its up to you how you use this information but this book is factual. 

[something_else]

15 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

No where near as much as my friend. Majority of my experience comes from interviews, and research. But I will say, I used the material I learned ONE time and got results the first time. I used it a second time and got immediate results the second time. I also had a woman who basically agreed with everything Rom Wills pretty much said. 

Rom wrote a book for women and if I told you what was in there as a man you would agree with what he says to women about what men want. These gurus cracked the code. Their perspective actually works. If you follow what they say you CAN get you a woman who looks like an 8 out of 10 or higher.

Problem is....how you choose to navigate the relationship that is on you. My issue is 99% of relationships are started from feelings lack. Majority of relationships among us humans is co-dependent. Co-dependent relationships are toxic and doomed before they even start.

So, I do appreciate what you post here. And oftentimes I agree with you.

But I did get a distinct vibe of "this guy has consumed way too much theory without much practice" from you which is why I asked. This particular post was a strong example of that.

Most of the issues people have with dating don't really come from a lack of theoretical understanding. It's to do with getting yourself into the correct emotional state, dealing with fear, anxiety, knowing the right locations to go to, learning to be more sociable, building up a social circle etc.

These things are very hard for someone with only a theoretical understanding to advise upon, because you don't have much experience with the emotional rollercoaster of relationships.

You're basically applying IQ to a problem that fundamentally requires you to develop EQ. Wrong tool for the job.

21 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

But I will say, I used the material I learned ONE time and got results the first time. I used it a second time and got immediate results the second time. I also had a woman who basically agreed with everything Rom Wills pretty much said. 

This is a warning sign to me. I would not normally take advice from someone who has only applied their own advice once or twice.

If all of your theory is so useful to you, and works so well, why have you not gone out and applied it more?

[Razard86]

36 minutes ago, something_else said:

So, I do appreciate what you post here. And oftentimes I agree with you.

But I did get a distinct vibe of "this guy has consumed way too much theory without much practice" from you which is why I asked. This particular post was a strong example of that.

Most of the issues people have with dating don't really come from a lack of theoretical understanding. It's to do with getting yourself into the correct emotional state, dealing with fear, anxiety, knowing the right locations to go to, learning to be more sociable, building up a social circle etc.

These things are very hard for someone with only a theoretical understanding to advise upon, because you don't have much experience with the emotional rollercoaster of relationships.

You're basically applying IQ to a problem that fundamentally requires you to develop EQ. Wrong tool for the job.

This is a warning sign to me. I would not normally take advice from someone who has only applied their own advice once or twice.

If all of your theory is so useful to you, and works so well, why have you not gone out and applied it more?

1. I am interested in spirituality. I do not have a real desire to enter into a romantic relationship. 

2. Your critique about emotional EQ is one you can make because you do not know me personally. My ex stated to me "You are the most emotionally mature man I have met."

3. I am on a different path, majority of dating is about ego fulfillment. So I see the forest for the trees. I really only dabbled because I wanted to lose my virginity. I lost my virginity within a week of following this advice. Also my friends who have more experience come to me for advice and have tried out the concepts in the books I have recommended. It works. Any hesitancy you have well its warranted. You have to decide for yourself. But my major talent is in research and getting to the truth. But hey what do I know I am just some guy on the internet? LOL.

Also I am far from perfect, but I own my issues. I even know the best way to resolve disputes between people.

Look up a book called Never Split The Difference. 

https://www.google.com/search?q=Never+Split+The+Difference&rlz=1C1VDKB_enUS991US992&oq=Never+Split+The+Difference&aqs=chrome..69i57.4347j0j15&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

Its the best strategy to resolve all conflicts and reach a resolution. But hey... I'm just some guy on the internet.

Edited June 21, 2022 by Razard86

[Razard86]

3 minutes ago, Benton said:

@Razard86 I recommend Sadhguru’s book on karma to you. It gives a very thorough understanding. Conceptually, and how to notice it experientially.

Plus it is entertaining, Sadhguru is quite witty. And if you listen to the audiobook he narrates it. 
It is a wonderful transmission. 
I’ve just finished it and figured I would recommend since you are into books.

I might check out mode one. I’m not really into dating rn. But it seems interesting.

Yeah I haven't got Sadhguru's book on Karma. But I do have his audiobook on Inner Engineering. The Karma book didn't interest me because I am not that interested in Karma. What insights does the book bring forth?

[Razard86]

6 minutes ago, Benton said:

@Razard86 I recommend Sadhguru’s book on karma to you. It gives a very thorough understanding. Conceptually, and how to notice it experientially.

Plus it is entertaining, Sadhguru is quite witty. And if you listen to the audiobook he narrates it. 
It is a wonderful transmission. 
I’ve just finished it and figured I would recommend since you are into books.

I might check out mode one. I’m not really into dating rn. But it seems interesting.

Mode One is not for the faint of heart lol. 90 percent of guys won't use it. But no technique gets you to sex faster if that is what you are looking for LOL!!!! I have watched my friend do it. I did a VERSION of it and it worked for me as well on the first woman I dealt with. Confidence is the single strongest trait a man can have around a woman. Nothing is stronger than that. 

[something_else]

Quote

1. I am interested in spirituality. I do not have a real desire to enter into a romantic relationship. 

Then why all the research?

1 hour ago, Razard86 said:

2. Your critique about emotional EQ is one you can make because you do not know me personally. My ex stated to me "You are the most emotionally mature man I have met."

Sorry, I wasn't saying you have low EQ. I was suggesting that you are primarily approaching relationships and giving advice to others on relationships in a very 'IQ' theoretical way, which is how I could pick out that you didn't have that much direct experience.

Quote

Also my friends who have more experience come to me for advice and have tried out the concepts in the books I have recommended. It works. Any hesitancy you have well its warranted. You have to decide for yourself. But my major talent is in research and getting to the truth. But hey what do I know I am just some guy on the internet? LOL.

Whenever I hear people talk about some wildly amazing book for dating, I always get sceptical. Men have been attracting women for hundreds of thousands of years, there's nothing new or secret to discover about it that can be taught to you by reading a bunch of books.

You can get most of the theory for how to attract women from a 30 second google search: confidence, edginess, fun, playful, masculine, exciting, authenticity, detachment, exposure to lots of women.

You actually can just boil down the whole thing to: go out and talk to lots of women, try exhibiting some of the above traits, push yourself, learn from mistakes, repeat.

IMO reading books is counterproductive to the whole process. You're meant to be getting yourself out of your head, not cementing yourself in a cinder block of theory

[Razard86]

3 hours ago, something_else said:

Then why all the research?

Sorry, I wasn't saying you have low EQ. I was suggesting that you are primarily approaching relationships and giving advice to others on relationships in a very 'IQ' theoretical way, which is how I could pick out that you didn't have that much direct experience.

Whenever I hear people talk about some wildly amazing book for dating, I always get sceptical. Men have been attracting women for hundreds of thousands of years, there's nothing new or secret to discover about it that can be taught to you by reading a bunch of books.

You can get most of the theory for how to attract women from a 30 second google search: confidence, edginess, fun, playful, masculine, exciting, authenticity, detachment, exposure to lots of women.

You actually can just boil down the whole thing to: go out and talk to lots of women, try exhibiting some of the above traits, push yourself, learn from mistakes, repeat.

IMO reading books is counterproductive to the whole process. You're meant to be getting yourself out of your head, not cementing yourself in a cinder block of theory

Your skepticism will stop you from some vital information. I literally got the answer to majority of the questions I had. The reason I did all that research was before I entered spirituality. I wanted answers to things in life so I studied things that didn't make sense. My advice is not IQ based. Literally everything I talk about deals with the emotional. What do you think shadow work is? Dealing with the emotion. What do you think telling a man to integrate with the feminine. The feminine is the feelings aspect of a man. It is his ability to do regular checkups on his emotional health, and be aware of the emotional health of his partner as well. 

You can't IQ that you have to actually do it. Its something I have already integrated. I'm not perfect but I am totally aware when I am being too logical around a female and have a mental switch where I can be present in the moment. Also I have experience, the two women I mentioned I dated them for over a year. So I have the experience. I told you the techniques work. 

So then you will ask so why didn't aren't you still with them? The girl is not interested in spirituality. All she wants to do is drink wine, go on trips, and watch low ego movies and gossip. I want something deeper. Also she stole from me more than once. So yeah that relationship was not going to work out. 

Do you know how rare it is to find a partner who is interested in raising their consciousness? Its not impossible but it is rare. Also I found out what I needed, and I scratched the itch I had. So I no longer desire to pursue a romantic relationship but I understand what makes them work. The majority of the relationships fail because their is lack of accountability between either one or both partners. Accountability is the life blood of all relationships.

And when it comes to relationships you need to know how to negotiate. People don't do that and they wonder why it fails. This isn't IQ anything it is tried and true principles that all healthy relationships have. But if you want to run from the advice I have its fine. Whoever can take value from what I have to offer can and who doesn't see it thats fine too.

[Preety_India]

@Razard86

In reality you don't even have a single girlfriend. Get off 

[Ulax]

6 hours ago, something_else said:

You're basically applying IQ to a problem that fundamentally requires you to develop EQ. Wrong tool for the job.

This is a warning sign to me. I would not normally take advice from someone who has only applied their own advice once or twice.

If all of your theory is so useful to you, and works so well, why have you not gone out and applied it more?

Agreed. I'd only follow dating advice from people who are talking from direct experience.

[something_else]

1 hour ago, Razard86 said:

Your skepticism will stop you from some vital information. I literally got the answer to majority of the questions I had. The reason I did all that research was before I entered spirituality. I wanted answers to things in life so I studied things that didn't make sense. My advice is not IQ based. Literally everything I talk about deals with the emotional. What do you think shadow work is? Dealing with the emotion. What do you think telling a man to integrate with the feminine. The feminine is the feelings aspect of a man. It is his ability to do regular checkups on his emotional health, and be aware of the emotional health of his partner as well. 

You can't IQ that you have to actually do it. Its something I have already integrated. I'm not perfect but I am totally aware when I am being too logical around a female and have a mental switch where I can be present in the moment. Also I have experience, the two women I mentioned I dated them for over a year. So I have the experience. I told you the techniques work. 

So then you will ask so why didn't aren't you still with them? The girl is not interested in spirituality. All she wants to do is drink wine, go on trips, and watch low ego movies and gossip. I want something deeper. Also she stole from me more than once. So yeah that relationship was not going to work out. 

Do you know how rare it is to find a partner who is interested in raising their consciousness? Its not impossible but it is rare. Also I found out what I needed, and I scratched the itch I had. So I no longer desire to pursue a romantic relationship but I understand what makes them work. The majority of the relationships fail because their is lack of accountability between either one or both partners. Accountability is the life blood of all relationships.

And when it comes to relationships you need to know how to negotiate. People don't do that and they wonder why it fails. This isn't IQ anything it is tried and true principles that all healthy relationships have. But if you want to run from the advice I have its fine. Whoever can take value from what I have to offer can and who doesn't see it thats fine too.

In regards to relationships, fair enough. You have a decent amount of experience and I think the parts of your posts that discuss that area are the parts I generally agree with and think are very well written

However the attraction advice you give feels abstract and theoretical, which is not that useful, and is where I was questioning your experience. And it does seem you lack experience there

Attracting girls is often about keeping it simple, getting the basics right, lots of practice. The more theory you consume, the more in your head you get. 

And it’s also about knowing the logistics: where to go, how to find girls, where to take girls, how to lead, how to deal with logistical problems that occur etc.

It’s very hard to understand how this works and give advice on this topic without talking to a fuck ton of girls, you simply can’t understand the problems that come up on an emotional level (fear, anxiety) for guys trying to attract girls, or how girls will typically respond to certain things, or how to lead a girl in the short term

None of that can be learned from a book

[Razard86]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

@Razard86

In reality you don't even have a single girlfriend. Get off 

Lol I've had two. Got Pictures and everything, not that I'd share it with you. Don't be nosy.

[Razard86]

41 minutes ago, something_else said:

In regards to relationships, fair enough. You have a decent amount of experience and I think the parts of your posts that discuss that area are the parts I generally agree with and think are very well written

However the attraction advice you give feels abstract and theoretical, which is not that useful, and is where I was questioning your experience. And it does seem you lack experience there

Attracting girls is often about keeping it simple, getting the basics right, lots of practice. The more theory you consume, the more in your head you get. 

And it’s also about knowing the logistics: where to go, how to find girls, where to take girls, how to lead, how to deal with logistical problems that occur etc.

It’s very hard to understand how this works and give advice on this topic without talking to a fuck ton of girls, you simply can’t understand the problems that come up on an emotional level (fear, anxiety) for guys trying to attract girls, or how girls will typically respond to certain things, or how to lead a girl in the short term

None of that can be learned from a book

Attracting women is literally easy. I told you I used what was in the book and had instant success. Everybody I shared the contents of said book both guy and girl agreed. You would have to read those books for yourself to understand. 

Atomic Attraction works. Its been field tested not just by my friend but hundreds of people The guy who wrote the book himself his entire book is based off case studies. I could go into length how attraction works but I'd rather not. I'd rather people read the book and find out for themselves. 

All these 3 books teach 3 different methods of raising attraction. Atomic Attraction teaches how to maintain attraction in a relationship. Rom Wills 2 books teaches how to become the best version of yourself. Rom's books I hold in the highest regard because pretty much every woman who reads it is like man he knows his stuff. Players also agree as well that his book speaks the truth. Its really a goldmine. I've consumed a lot of material but these 3 books hit the nail on the head. 

My friend I'm talking about actually comes to ME for advice and to bounce ideas off and he has slept with over 100 women. These women are drop dead gorgeous also. But like I said, to each their own. I'm not going to force anyone. 

[Kalki Avatar]

Atomic attraction is a great unique book. But you forgot to mention his youtube channel. Combine both and wala. 

My game completely changed when I started to get smart with Girls. I dont mean to be gamey. But you need to have a strategy if you want results. Learn to frame control conversations. Play conversations like a Poker hand were only you know the moves and its effects. Thats the gateway. But dont do it in a way it looks gamey. Only do it if you are certain and at ease. It has to seem spontaneous when you snipe your frame. Also, relationships are not absolute. If you messed up, you can back up with another strategy that makes you look even more authentic. Dating is very relative too. Its a maze of its own. 

I would say the number one skill you need to master un dating, even before getting in, is having control of your mind interpretation system. If not, you will end up depressed. You need to be so clear in your mind and in control of it that you are willing to get rejected by girls like its nothing. You even just go to make experiments on them knowing you will get rejected and it doesnt touch you because you are in control of your mind, not her or anyone who doesnt know what you are doing! 

[something_else]

10 hours ago, Razard86 said:

Attracting women is literally easy

I agree entirely. Which is why you don't need to read lots of books to do it

10 hours ago, Razard86 said:

I told you I used what was in the book and had instant success

With one girl. That is not really quantifiable success from a particular method, it's mostly just the fact that you left your house, went somewhere with girls, and weren't totally socially inept. Because that's really all it takes for the average dude to get laid

If you wanna be a player all you gotta do is keep going to places with lots of girls and refine your strategy for working the venue. And when it comes to actually talking to girls you just learn it by doing it over and over and seeing what works

It's almost entirely about overcoming your fears rather than knowing what exactly to do

 

Edited June 22, 2022 by something_else

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, something_else said:

I agree entirely. Which is why you don't need to read lots of books to do it

With one girl. That is not really quantifiable success from a particular method, it's mostly just the fact that you left your house, went somewhere with girls, and weren't totally socially inept. Because that's really all it takes for the average dude to get laid

If you wanna be a player all you gotta do is keep going to places with lots of girls and refine your strategy for working the venue. And when it comes to actually talking to girls you just learn it by doing it over and over and seeing what works

It's almost entirely about overcoming your fears rather than knowing what exactly to do

 

I said 2 not one, that's my point you aren't reading to comprehend. When you see what you want to see in someone's writing you are projecting. This means you are coming into the conversation with a preconceived notion. A full cup cannot receive. Since you know so much....why are we even having this conversation? 

You are right, why read books. All humans should stop writing books. You should also stop watching Leo's videos as well. Notice how what you say makes no sense? Neile Degrasse Tyson said something profound once. When humanity has figured something out they stop writing books about it. Do you know how many relationship books there are out there? Do you know there are professors who are PAID to talk about Male and Female Nature. 

Pimps, and Players STILL learn something new everyday about relationships. Its like you don't get it. I claim GENERAL knowledge. Specific, circumstantial knowledge is never ending. It will go on into infinity. You will NEVER know anything completely. So reading books gives you MORE information to learn. Everyone's life is JUST a perspective. The more information you take in the BROADER your perspective becomes. 

Have you noticed that even Leo takes people's imput before he makes a video? That's broadening your perspective. But apparently reading books is BAD!!! Look man if you don't want to read the book you don't have too. You are just going to have less information. That's on you. Dating Guru write books to save you time so you don't have to relearn the crap that took them years to learn.

A fool repeats his mistakes, a smart man learns from his mistakes, a wise man learns from the mistakes of others.

Edited June 22, 2022 by Razard86

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, something_else said:

I agree entirely. Which is why you don't need to read lots of books to do it

With one girl. That is not really quantifiable success from a particular method, it's mostly just the fact that you left your house, went somewhere with girls, and weren't totally socially inept. Because that's really all it takes for the average dude to get laid

If you wanna be a player all you gotta do is keep going to places with lots of girls and refine your strategy for working the venue. And when it comes to actually talking to girls you just learn it by doing it over and over and seeing what works

It's almost entirely about overcoming your fears rather than knowing what exactly to do

 

Also that is wrong. The number one killer of attraction is ignorance. The fact that you said not knowing what to do reveals you don't know what you are talking about. The key to success in a relationship is understanding the person you are dealing with. The more you understand them the greater success you will have. You need general knowledge to understand how the game works, and specific knowledge to understand how to make the right moves.

Everything in life is a game. Everything that succeeds in life is based on systems. This entire website is run on a system. Your language is a system. Your body is a system. This means when you deal with someone to have success with them you need to develop a system. The system should be fluid to incorporate changes but you need a system. Otherwise...it will fail. 

This is why if you talk to anyone who has been happily married for decades they can explain their SYSTEM. Have you talked to people who have been married for decades? Because what THEY do is DIFFERENT than pickup, and different than what players do. Pimps have a different system, players have a different system, and husbands who have been happily married have a different system. If you don't understand this you will just make mistakes out of ignorance that people with experience will laugh and say "I remember when I did that. Now I know better."

Again the purpose of reading is to tune your perspective and improve your clarity so you can see things. Obviously direct experience is the most important but reading allows you to see things as they are. The only reason you need direct experience is for two things.

1. See what level you are at. A book cannot tell you your weaknesses direct experience will show you that.

2. And teach you hot to react on the fly a book cannot teach you that.

But a book OPENS your eyes and gives you clarity and insight. Something that usually takes DECADES. You can get something in days to months that takes someone DECADES. 

Again do what you do. I am merely a resource.

Edited June 22, 2022 by Razard86

[Razard86]

9 hours ago, Kalki Avatar said:

Atomic attraction is a great unique book. But you forgot to mention his youtube channel. Combine both and wala. 

My game completely changed when I started to get smart with Girls. I dont mean to be gamey. But you need to have a strategy if you want results. Learn to frame control conversations. Play conversations like a Poker hand were only you know the moves and its effects. Thats the gateway. But dont do it in a way it looks gamey. Only do it if you are certain and at ease. It has to seem spontaneous when you snipe your frame. Also, relationships are not absolute. If you messed up, you can back up with another strategy that makes you look even more authentic. Dating is very relative too. Its a maze of its own. 

I would say the number one skill you need to master un dating, even before getting in, is having control of your mind interpretation system. If not, you will end up depressed. You need to be so clear in your mind and in control of it that you are willing to get rejected by girls like its nothing. You even just go to make experiments on them knowing you will get rejected and it doesnt touch you because you are in control of your mind, not her or anyone who doesnt know what you are doing! 

The reason I don't watch his Youtube Channel is because he basically repeats himself on end. The book in my opinion is sufficient. Even his book repeats itself. Its like he thinks he needs a million examples to explain the same concept.

He basically shows the paradoxical relationship between security and safety and attraction. How the reason a man is friendzone because he gives off feelings of safety and security. The bad boy triggers a woman's insecurity and that raises attraction. Its a key insight most men take years to discover.

So for example if another woman is eyeballing you, your woman's jealously over that incident raises her attraction for you. The parallel you can add is just like in movies if there is no tension, no potential pitfall in the story the movie is boring. So a man who is predictable, and lives a peaceful life will bore the hell out of most women. A woman wants a man to sometimes be unpredictable, tease her, go off and do his own thing and have her wondering about him. 

So yeah its a good book, but my gosh this guy should be called the Pull Away guru. Everything is PULL AWAY, PULL AWAY!!! Lol!! It works though I can't argue with it!!