Need advice dissecting obsessive fear during higher states

[Zedman]

So I accidentally learned a trick on how to prevent myself going into deeper meditations if my eyes are closed. Irrational paranoid fear of someone breaking into my room. Or someone just appearing and stabbing me. Extremely vivid image and body sensation of it appears. This breaks meditation and even forces eyes to open. Normally these thoughts don't appear. And they didn't happen before I started going into deeper meditations. I consider myself being mentally strong and stable.

Here is my journey into this phenomenon. First thing I tried accepting these fears as per teachings. I did that by just ''taking it'' and waiting. Letting it happen so to speak. But then this thought/feeling appears that by letting it happen I will make it actually happen. It feels like by allowing this fear to happen will lead to self fulfilling prophecy. So I obey this fear to make it not exist anymore. Later during psychodelic contemplation I found a solution that works but I don't like it in the slightest. I ''saw'' how these fears actually prevent these things from happening. So I acknowledged their purpose and let them be there. As if saying hi and moving on until it fades from awareness slowly. It still works. I dont like it because I think I haven't dealt with the fear I just put a funny hat on it and left it in the shadow. Technically it is still there looking at me. Right? If I let it be there it will also create self fulfilling prophecy.

Have I solved it or have I deluded myself completely?

Should I instead let this fear ''play out'' in my imagination and just take it until it burns itself out? If I do this there is this insane multilayered sensation of me actually summoning the trouble.

How to deal with the self fulfilling prophecy idea that props up this fear?

Thanks for sticking through with me.

[Kksd74628]

@Zedman

Check the assumption that allowing yourself to feel fear leads that to happen by allowing it once or twice. If you keep assuming after assumption then at some point you're so locked that you'll have scary "psychosis". Even what I just said is more thoughts and you should stop believing to these if you want to repair yourself. Running away fear makes it just more real in your mind, because you think that you need to defend. So face the fear or the fear eats your face.

-joNi-

Edited June 20, 2022 by Kksd74628