Is it smart to tell potential gf you’re a virgin?

[Leo Gura]

It's just gonna make things awkward.

[Razard86]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

It's just gonna make things awkward.

She's going to find out. It didn't make it awkward for me because she didn't believe me lol. Because I was so honest it made her trust me more. Actually ended up making us more intimate because I was so honest with her. But hey to each their own.

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Preety_India i know answer for myself but wanna see other perspective what does man get from her being dependent on him why do you think man needs dependcy from her?

The man has to be somewhat narcissistic. This means he wants authority and control in the relationship. Most dominating guys would want this. This means they would not necessarily be codependent themselves. But they would love a partner who wants to depend on them, whether financially or emotionally or both. This gives the guy a sense of control over their partner, the feeling that they hold control over their partner makes them feel good or in ownership of the partner. They admire this dependency, they want to be the provider of their partner's needs, they want to feel like the partner is helpless without them, giving them this sense of power. 

[Michael Jackson]

@Razard86 Thank you very much for sharing your perspective, high level stuff!! Love it!

[Razard86]

Just now, Michael Jackson said:

@Razard86 Thank you very much for sharing your perspective, high level stuff!! Love it!

No problem I can give you access to some of the deepest perspectives on the game. Before I found spirituality that's where I was spending my time. Trying to crack that nut, solve that puzzle. I understand both sides, the woman's and the man's.

The irony is Relationships are actually the highest form of spiritual development you can do. Because every person you meet is going to trigger your shadow aspects. A week of interaction with a broad variety of people can teach you more about yourself than a year of meditation. As long as you are conscious (self aware) of what you are doing, thinking, and feeling in these interactions the hidden aspects of yourself will be revealed.

Very Illuminating. Also great chances for us to love those shadows when they appear and potentially grow.

[Leo Gura]

46 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

She's going to find out

Not if you don't make it a big deal.

[Raze]

4 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

i know answer for myself but wanna see other perspective what does man get from her being dependent on him why do you think man needs dependcy from her?

Men want to feel needed, women want to feel wanted 

[aurum]

If she is actually a potential long term girlfriend, you’re probably better of being honest relatively sooner than later.

Most couples talk about their dating history at some point. So if your answer is *crickets* then she’s probably going to wonder why you never told her.

If this is a girl you’re seeing more casually, then I wouldn’t bother. Not relevant information that you should feel obligated to disclose unless you really want to.

[Razard86]

2 hours ago, aurum said:

If she is actually a potential long term girlfriend, you’re probably better of being honest relatively sooner than later.

Most couples talk about their dating history at some point. So if your answer is *crickets* then she’s probably going to wonder why you never told her.

If this is a girl you’re seeing more casually, then I wouldn’t bother. Not relevant information that you should feel obligated to disclose unless you really want to.

I love how men really underestimate how intuitive women are. I'll let you in on a little secret....women like to pretend they don't know. She might have already intuited you are one, and is waiting to see if you are going to tell her. But if that doesn't happen....she will figure out when you have sex with her. So she is going to figure out anyway. 

The truth will set you free. Lies are bondage. For every lie you tell, you need to tell another lie to cover it. And it goes on into infinity.

[aurum]

1 hour ago, Razard86 said:

I love how men really underestimate how intuitive women are. I'll let you in on a little secret....women like to pretend they don't know. She might have already intuited you are one, and is waiting to see if you are going to tell her. But if that doesn't happen....she will figure out when you have sex with her. So she is going to figure out anyway. 

The truth will set you free. Lies are bondage. For every lie you tell, you need to tell another lie to cover it. And it goes on into infinity.

I can’t tell if you’re agreeing with me or trying to teach me something.

[eggopm3]

I've been mulling this over myself as a virgin who's starting to date more often.

I think the decision I've come to is being honest about my relationship history (or lack thereof) which will likely give the girl the impression that I'm probably a virgin without saying it directly.

I think the only time I would say it outright is if the girl directly asked, if it came up in conversation somehow where it would be weirder to avoid saying it.

[Razard86]

5 hours ago, aurum said:

I can’t tell if you’re agreeing with me or trying to teach me something.

Let's enjoy the mystery.

[Razard86]

4 hours ago, eggopm3 said:

I've been mulling this over myself as a virgin who's starting to date more often.

I think the decision I've come to is being honest about my relationship history (or lack thereof) which will likely give the girl the impression that I'm probably a virgin without saying it directly.

I think the only time I would say it outright is if the girl directly asked, if it came up in conversation somehow where it would be weirder to avoid saying it.

There ya go, that's all I am saying. I was actually in this situation and I am telling you she will find out. LOL. Nobody is a superstar on their first attempt and if that girl is pretty and has had her fair share of romps in the bedroom she will figure out real quick. I use to believe in all the fear mongering that people spread around but after I did it myself and took that leap of faith I found out...it wasn't what everyone thought it was. Besides...after you have sex one time....you are no longer a virgin lol.

[Razard86]

10 hours ago, Michael Jackson said:

@Razard86 Thank you very much for sharing your perspective, high level stuff!! Love it!

Check this video out. The theme is at the root of conflict between men and women lol. If you can figure out this one theme, it will create a paradigm shift in all your future interactions with women. A very logic type man would REALLY need to see this video.

Obviously this is an extreme example but sometimes extreme examples are needed to spell things out blatantly lol.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg&t=1s

Also....there are relationships where the roles are reversed. The purpose of this video is to teach you to understand when you are in a conversation where the person doesn't want you to fix it, or be in your logical mind, but to meet them in the feminine and connect emotionally. 

This is my weakness but something I can catch myself doing.

Edited June 21, 2022 by Razard86

[NoSelfSelf]

@Preety_India If they seek control then they are narcissistic, man doesnt want control he tells you how things are and who he is , then its on you if you wanna follow it,if he forces it on you after you dont want to follow it then run thats not a man thats an insecure control maniac!

@Razard86 playing games is lower form of game theres bigger levels its like enlightment understood by the mind is lower and being enlightened is higher you dont see that you are using game to get women(already losing) instead you being the game its all about you it gets connected with spirituality...

[Razard86]

4 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Preety_India If they seek control then they are narcissistic, man doesnt want control he tells you how things are and who he is , then its on you if you wanna follow it,if he forces it on you after you dont want to follow it then run thats not a man thats an insecure control maniac!

@Razard86 playing games is lower form of game theres bigger levels its like enlightment understood by the mind is lower and being enlightened is higher you dont see that you are using game to get women(already losing) instead you being the game its all about you it gets connected with spirituality...

All of life is a game. Literally you cannot escape this. All of life is a game. It is an infinity game that is expressed in the world of duality. If you cannot see this....I don't know what to tell you. Its a mind game, of universal mind. You can't avoid the game, no matter what you do. Everything you do is literally a strategy. A refusal to play games is literally a strategy in the game. 

So yeah I hope you can actually see this.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Razard86 Im saying I AM the game so that means that im the one that uses strategy I created IM playing game with myself not playing games with a woman! If you think about woman you are already losing its all about you and what you gonna do,how you gonna move in your way and show her yourself that you created and discovered for yourself not her! Where 99% of "game" online is what should guy do for her what technique should he use to get her what way hes going to manipulate her not seeing that hes abondining himself and not running his game hes running someone elses game in his mind being a sheep and like you said guys think girls are stupid they can smell it they cant see they are the problem because they dont build themselves they try to build game to cover up their own problems which you can fake for few months and then what?...

[Bobby_2021]

1) You can confidently say that you have slept with many girls before.

2) If lying makes you uncomfortable, say the truth straight to her face. Observe her reaction. 

She is probably not going to leave you. But you can't be insecure. Women smell insecurity. And insecurities are not attractive. Being a virgin or not isn't a problem. It's not like you are a monster. 

So it isn't worth making a big deal out of. Many girls don't like men who have beem with many girls before her. 

 

I have said to my gf that I was a virgin.

Guess what happened? Nothing.

Things moved on as usual.

Any quality of your life is fine. Just don't be insecure about it. 

But people are allowed to have preferences. Nothing wrong in having preferences. 

 

 

Edited June 21, 2022 by Bobby_2021

[Razard86]

3 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Razard86 Im saying I AM the game so that means that im the one that uses strategy I created IM playing game with myself not playing games with a woman! If you think about woman you are already losing its all about you and what you gonna do,how you gonna move in your way and show her yourself that you created and discovered for yourself not her! Where 99% of "game" online is what should guy do for her what technique should he use to get her what way hes going to manipulate her not seeing that hes abondining himself and not running his game hes running someone elses game in his mind being a sheep and like you said guys think girls are stupid they can smell it they cant see they are the problem because they dont build themselves they try to build game to cover up their own problems which you can fake for few months and then what?...

Right now you are playing a game arguing with me. All distinction is a game. Calling yourself the game does not take away from you playing it.

Everything you just said is a strategy. Unconditional love is a strategy. Narcissism is a strategy. Solitude is a strategy. You cannot run from a strategy. Right now you arguing about which strategy (set of actions) is better. So now you are moralizing which again is a game. Have you looked up what is called debate tactics? Methods of persuasion? That is called the debate game.

Saying I am the game is an attempt to claim superiority to the game. You are the game, and that is why you cannot supercede the game. Because the game is YOU!!! By your own authority you have limited yourself to the game. The only way to not play the game, the duality game is to not exist in this duality. 

So please...stop it you cannot escape this paradigm. This is ancient knowledge. Even Sadhguru talks about this. Its called the path of playfulness.

Enlightened masters would laugh right now at how serious you are being lighten up. Its all a mind game. The game of Universal Mind.

[Razard86]

27 minutes ago, Bobby_2021 said:

1) You can confidently say that you have slept with many girls before.

2) If lying makes you uncomfortable, say the truth straight to her face. Observe her reaction. 

She is probably not going to leave you. But you can't be insecure. Women smell insecurity. And insecurities are not attractive. Being a virgin or not isn't a problem. It's not like you are a monster. 

So it isn't worth making a big deal out of. Many girls don't like men who have beem with many girls before her. 

 

I have said to my gf that I was a virgin.

Guess what happened? Nothing.

Things moved on as usual.

Any quality of your life is fine. Just don't be insecure about it. 

But people are allowed to have preferences. Nothing wrong in having preferences. 

 

 

Exactly you get it. I don't push the lying bit because of my preference. But nobody has to agree with me. If they want to lie, they can take that path and accept the consequences that come with that. Or take my route and accept the consequences that come with that. I just know that when a man is honest he stands apart.

But they can play the game however they want to play it.