Is it smart to tell potential gf you’re a virgin?

[Bob Seeker]

Wondering if it lowers you value. I know girls will say it is cute sometimes but I want to know the actual answer of their subconscious.

[SamC]

2 minutes ago, Bob Seeker said:

Wondering if it lowers you value. I know girls will say it is cute sometimes but I want to know the actual answer of their subconscious.

Stop focusing on trying to be " high value", that is what makes you " Low value". Be who you are and focus on healing yourself and getting to a place where you can be who you are. You don't actually want girls, you want to fully submit to yourself and untill you do that, no one will submit to who you are because reality is a mirror.

If you want to get good with girls, follow Leo's top pick up advice which is " Become more like a girl". Think about it law of attraction wise.. you are what you attract. So go become a girl 

Practically speaking you have to own the fuck out of your virginity. That doesn't mean that you should find opportunities to tell her. It just means it's a non issue for you and that if she asks ( which she won't untill you have had sex with her btw) you just tell her the truth and own it. Stop trying to be something to woman, just be yourself and go for whatever the fuck you want.

[Preety_India]

I would be very happy if a guy told me  he is a virgin. 

I'd jumping with joy. 

 

Virginity Rocks 

 

 

Edited June 20, 2022 by Preety_India

[NoSelfSelf]

You dont need to say it i dont see why would you tell that...

[puporing]

It's not an issue at all, everyone had to go through their first time.

[Razard86]

37 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

You dont need to say it i dont see why would you tell that...

This is hilarious!!

 

4 hours ago, Bob Seeker said:

Wondering if it lowers you value. I know girls will say it is cute sometimes but I want to know the actual answer of their subconscious.

I am going to tell you a secret about women. Most women have dealt with men who have lied their entire life. Women never forget an honest man. NEVER EVER. Do you hear me? 99.9% of men lie to women. So one you won't be forgotten, you will have set yourself apart.

2. Women are attracted to Masculinity. What does this mean? Your value comes from you!!! Stop wondering what she may think of you if you do this or that! A man who is authentically himself regardless of what others think is the sexiest man to a woman. 

3. Trying to control whether a woman likes you or not is needy, and neediness turns women off. A man who is comfortable in his own skin is what women want. A woman wants to be desired by her man, but not NEEDED by her man. She wants her man to value himself and not NEED her to provide the value he desires in himself.

So how do you accomplish this? TWO WAYS. Be comfortable being alone. Be okay losing her. If you are afraid to lose your women, YOU WILL LOSE HER. 

Now I was in the EXACT SAME SITUATION as you. I kept my virginity all the way into my 30's. Then I lost my virginity with a HOT GIRL lol. I told her I was a virgin, she THOUGHT I WAS LYING!!! It turned her off that I had no experience, but with boldness I got her to want to give me a try. It turned out terrible as I had no experience, and she was impatient. LOL but because of my honesty I got a lot more tries afterward.

Also here is another reason you don't lie to her....because she will find out. A virgin is not going to be a superstar with sex, you are a virgin!!! LOL she is going to find out anyway. So be honest!! Besides if you start lying to her you will HAVE NO REASON TO GET MAD IF SHE LIES TO YOU!! Honesty is the best policy. 

Edited June 20, 2022 by Razard86

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

Be okay losing her. If you are afraid to lose your women, YOU WILL LOSE HER. 

Toxic Masculinity. 

Women don't like this. They wish to be cherished 

 

[Razard86]

I'm going to add on to my previous post. Do people in this forum want healthy relationships or not?

If you do, stop looking for ways to control outcomes in a relationship. 

Tell a person you are with what are some things you want and some things you don't want. A relationship is a negotiation.

If you do not communicate the relationship will end.

If you try to control your partner the relationship will end.

If you are co-dependent the relationship will end.

If you think of yourself over your partner the relationship will end.

If you have poor boundaries the relationship will end.

As a man if you take things personal when your woman loses her cool, the relationship will end.

As a woman if you don't learn to consider your man's perspective your relationship will end.

A relationship is about two lives coming together. Here is what you men and women are getting wrong. So I'll help.

THE MASCULINE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE FEMININE AND THE FEMININE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE MASCULINE. 

So what does that mean? For a woman to get close to a man, she must learn to understand the masculine inside her. For a man to get close to his woman he must understand the feminine within him.

All relationships between men and women is just them having relationships with the polar opposite of their energy expression. When a man can respect his emotions and feelings he can respect his woman's emotions and feelings. When a woman can respect her logic and rationale then she can respect her man's logic and rationale. 

That's it. Its that simple.

Watch this video also. It can help wrap your mind around what I am talking about also.

 

Edited June 20, 2022 by Razard86

[Galyna]

@Bob Seeker

Live by spontaneity not intention! 
Don’t force to open your self up. Open yourself up as you go with relationships. The right time will come and you will say the right things. Everything will unfold naturally because there is no doer here who will orchestrate things to happen. 

Go by your feelings. Relax. If you feel that saying or doing something doesn’t resonate, then take some time to know the person.  
 

Be your authentic self and you will attract people who are also authentic. 
 

Remember what person thinks about you does NOT characterize you, it characters them! 
 

A movie character doesn’t need any validation from others because both are just fictions. 
 

Be who you truly are! 

Edited June 20, 2022 by Galyna

[Preety_India]

@Razard86 the problem is that you don't want to listen to a woman. But you want a woman to listen to a man. With that attitude, a relationship will not even start, forget about how it will end 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Razard86 Mind aswell tell her then that she doesnt exist and that her relationahip with her mother is same as a coffe table ?

[Roy]

I don't see why you'd have to tell them, but if the topic came up I'm sure they'd appreciate the honesty. It's not something that's worth much energy worrying about, just deal with it if it comes up in whatever way you need to. There is a first time for everything right?

I didn't tell the first girl I was with I was a virgin, and I got the sense she didn't care either way. I just pretended I knew what I was doing and had a good time 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Roy exactly!

[hoodrow trillson]

OP it seems like a weird ass thing to bring up.  Also, the older you are and you're still a virgin, the more red flags are going off in someone else's head.  "Wow why hasn't anybody fucked this guy?  I wonder whats wrong with him".  Unless she asks you, lol do not say anything about it.

Regardless of what the ladies on this forum tell you:  IRL they do not want to fuck with a virgin because that shows inexperience and lack in confidence where it matters (having sex).  Sure, you're being honest but at what cost?  Now, you could run into a girl that enjoys taking virginities like souls, they do exist! 

[Arcangelo]

@Bob Seeker

2 edged sword my friend.

 

[Arcangelo]

30 minutes ago, Roy said:

I didn't tell the first girl I was with I was a virgin,

I told her and she didn't believe me

 

30 minutes ago, Roy said:

and I got the sense she didn't care either way.

She didn't care at all.

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

@Razard86 the problem is that you don't want to listen to a woman. But you want a woman to listen to a man. With that attitude, a relationship will not even start, forget about how it will end 

That is just your projection. If you read what I write I want both parties to listen. Point to one part where I actually said that. You won't find it. If you notice all my posts are about personal responsibility. Taking ownership of your thoughts, and emotions. But you are welcome to try to find what you claim I have done.

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Razard86 Mind aswell tell her then that she doesnt exist and that her relationahip with her mother is same as a coffe table ?

Lol..... I needed a good smile. Hey she is going to find out anyway. He might be able to wing it if she isn't a virgin, but if she is a virgin she is going to find out. But yes....we are all the same as coffee tables ultimately lol.

[Arcangelo]

7 minutes ago, hoodrow trillson said:

Now, you could run into a girl that enjoys taking virginities like souls, they do exist! 

yeap

[Razard86]

13 minutes ago, hoodrow trillson said:

OP it seems like a weird ass thing to bring up.  Also, the older you are and you're still a virgin, the more red flags are going off in someone else's head.  "Wow why hasn't anybody fucked this guy?  I wonder whats wrong with him".  Unless she asks you, lol do not say anything about it.

Regardless of what the ladies on this forum tell you:  IRL they do not want to fuck with a virgin because that shows inexperience and lack in confidence where it matters (having sex).  Sure, you're being honest but at what cost?  Now, you could run into a girl that enjoys taking virginities like souls, they do exist! 

1. Lying will beget more lying. You are basically giving him permission to kill his relationship. 

2. Unless she is a virgin she will know how a man with experience has sex. Men who have sexual experience take charge. They pick the woman up, they use different positions, they know how to really intensify the sexual situation and DOMINATE the woman. A virgin is going to be nervous, and even if he is confident he won't command the same presence as someone with experience.

She will pick this up.

Most women are empaths, which means she will pick up on ANY emotional disturbances he has. ANY. Nervousness, second-guessing will ALL be picked up. If he lies to her during intimacy and she finds out he lied to her about sex she can take it MULTIPLE WAYS.

Why didn't he trust her? Is he afraid or full of shame? etc. etc.

Having the balls to tell the truth will always set up apart as a man.