Conscious relationships, resources required

[Elton]

Hello friends, 

In Leo's last vedio I came across the concept of conscious relationships, and I had a deep realisation which I was pondering about since many years actually, however I will bring this to light and work on this now.

I have been always wondering why I always have issues with people and don't really get along forever. I have lost many people along the way in a sense like at some point they were so close to me but now are Indifferent.

I don't have an issue with intimate relationships as I spent a lot of time and energy working on that but the boat got a bit off-balance with friendships 

I'm talking about friends here.

I feel that I want to have really deep and rewarding friendships and maintain them.

Please help me build realtionships and maintaining them by sharing various techniques, I will research and share some techniques too.

For starting this journey im journaling on my one note journal, I have made a new section of relationships and made a subpage friends and another one as colleagues.

I will be writing certain notes or key points to each and every person here. Would this be a good idea ? 

Edited June 16, 2022 by Elton

[Preety_India]

What's your zodiac sun sign? 

[Elton]

@Preety_IndiaCancer 

Edited June 16, 2022 by Elton

[Bobby_2021]

 

Divorce lawyer giving advice on marriage. 

 

Interrogate your partner. 

[Leo Gura]

The biggest thing will be values alignment. Find friends whose values align well with yourself and then friendship will be pretty easy if you invest energy into it.

[Proserpina]

What is your mbti? If you are IxxP I recommend ExxJ friends.  

[Bobby_2021]

Okay my post was put keeping in intimate relationships in mind.

With friends it's mostly about values, energy, shared interests & goals etc.

[Elton]

@Leo Gura  @Bobby_2021finding friends with same values are easy the main thing is about maintaining.

What should I do when I'm the only one who is trying to msg call and keep in touch, yes I understand that maybe I'm putting my ego here like why should I always be the first one to call or msg.. but then again shouldn't the other person be interested in keeping the friendship too? And isn't not calling or msging an indicator that he/she doesn't really care?

Also what about when your friends get involved with other intimate relationships then they don't want to spend much time with you.

It was not that difficult in my school and college to have friends but now things are changing, the life stages are changing not only mine but also the friends who I grew up with.

Should I just accept this that friends come and go, and you meet new people in every phase of life and we must just let go of the friends who don't want to be in contact ? 

Or should I leave my ego behind and always be the person to call and msg and make effort to keep connection with old friends, not that they don't respond but If I don't mag or call they will not too.

What does it look like for a spiritual person to have and keep friendships ? I even struggle with being jealous about my friends prosperity and success

@Proserpina I am sorry I didn't really understand you... are they some full forms to those words ?

 

[Bobby_2021]

3 hours ago, Elton said:

What should I do when I'm the only one who is trying to msg call and keep in touch, yes I understand that maybe I'm putting my ego here like why should I always be the first one to call or msg.. but then again shouldn't the other person be interested in keeping the friendship too? And isn't not calling or msging an indicator that he/she doesn't really care?

I don't think that's how masculine friendships are supposed to work.

I have a couple of strong friendship. I don't chit chat with them. They are all busy killing it in their life achieving their goals.

But I can call them at 3 AM in the morning and they will still come to help me and vice versa.

You don't have to keep in touch like girls. That's why the value bonding is necessary.

For eg if you have friends in college who are all in different top positions in different companies of the world, you can call them up anytime since you are working in fields that can be of mutual help to each other. 

I have met a highly masculine guy who drove my car last time I went to the airport. He just gave me my number and I instantly Know he is a friend I can trust. He did things which I want to be done. Also when I call him, he knows I am not fucking around and wants some serious shit done. So there is always that intensity with our friendship. Strong friendship. 

We don't have to keep on contact forever neither does the bond rot over time. That's the power of values.

Men are creatures of principles and values. 

[Elton]

@Bobby_2021 oh come on man ! What does masculinity got to do with friendships?

Staying in touch is femine ? Calling or wanting to meet is feminine ? Wanting to have some companionship is feminine ?  

How did you come to this conclusion ?

Btw is this your real pic?

[Bobby_2021]

5 minutes ago, Elton said:

oh come on man ! What does masculinity got to do with friendships?

I was demonstrating an example of masculinity can be the guiding value of a friendship. That's my value. I can instantly connect with men who are masculine and problem solvers. 

We can friends after only sending a text once a year. 

If some guy wants to be in touch for the sake of it, I will probably ignore him.  

But hey find your own set of values to connect with.

Making money can be another value. Or maybe going on hippy spiritual trips and hippy friends that will keep constantly in touch with you. 

It's all about the values you choose to connect with.

13 minutes ago, Elton said:

Staying in touch is femine ? Calling or wanting to meet is feminine ? Wanting to have some companionship is feminine ?  

Probably a waste of time from. I don't care if it is feminine or not.

But masculine guys are doing their own shit, killing it in life in different parts of the world building their own mini empires.

When they contact me, I know they are calling me to get some real deal, I would attend the call with all seriousness.

That short time when get together to get stuff done will have more quality and intensity that constantly being in touch, which has more than enough probability to annoy that person.

Hey find your own set of values to bond with.

I just said mine. I only need 3-5 friends which is better than 80 low quality friendships. 

[Elton]

@Bobby_2021 thanks for your perspective it will help me 

[Razard86]

2 hours ago, Bobby_2021 said:

I don't think that's how masculine friendships are supposed to work.

I have a couple of strong friendship. I don't chit chat with them. They are all busy killing it in their life achieving their goals.

But I can call them at 3 AM in the morning and they will still come to help me and vice versa.

You don't have to keep in touch like girls. That's why the value bonding is necessary.

For eg if you have friends in college who are all in different top positions in different companies of the world, you can call them up anytime since you are working in fields that can be of mutual help to each other. 

I have met a highly masculine guy who drove my car last time I went to the airport. He just gave me my number and I instantly Know he is a friend I can trust. He did things which I want to be done. Also when I call him, he knows I am not fucking around and wants some serious shit done. So there is always that intensity with our friendship. Strong friendship. 

We don't have to keep on contact forever neither does the bond rot over time. That's the power of values.

Men are creatures of principles and values. 

Lol no offense dude but your reality is so got dang limited. Me and my friends can have long discussions about topics. This men don't do that is such a limited perspective. 

I have friends who kill it, and we can still have long meaningful conversations about topics like relationships, money, video games, politics, health, fashion, etc. A lot of us are well read and well-informed. So yeah your reality is just your reality, and a very limited one.

2 hours ago, Elton said:

@Bobby_2021 oh come on man ! What does masculinity got to do with friendships?

Staying in touch is femine ? Calling or wanting to meet is feminine ? Wanting to have some companionship is feminine ?  

How did you come to this conclusion ?

Btw is this your real pic?

Feminine is the relating energy. So yes staying in touch is feminine. If you do not incorporate your feminine side as a man you will never have deep relationship with anybody, including yourself. So he isn't wrong, he just follows the male stereotype.

Do you see how Leo communicates in his videos? How he is emotionally open? He smiles, he cries, Leo is harnessing the Feminine and that is why his videos resonated with many of you on this forum. By watching Leo's videos you felt like you made a deep connection with him. For Leo to do that he had to be vulnerable, and open. That takes courage. The Masculine and Feminine are both strong but they express it in different ways. The Feminine opens itself up to being harmed, the Masculine defends itself and puts up barriers. Both are examples of strength, but in truth the Feminine example takes more courage. Its why the fear of public speaking is so high on people's lists, and why most of us struggle to deal with people in general.

You have to be able to handle the pain that people inflict on you, to really connect with them. All of my relationships are pretty much deep with my closest friends. We call each other out on our B.S. when we argue we understand the intention behind each other so we forgive each other easily. The more selfish you are, less deep your relationships will be. Also relationships are the greatest spiritual test in your life, and they reveal all your insecurities, fears, and all your love and peace.

[Elton]

@Razard86 taking the example of Buddha I feel like you have to really undergo spiritual purification before you can truly connect with people... 

But Buddha would connect even before spiritual purification I guess..

I Don't know but I intute at the moment that just say fuck all ! And do your stuff and let life happen to you let those who want to come come those who want to stay stay and those who want to leave leave .. 

 

[Elton]

https://youtu.be/rlbjfvcJrz8

[Bobby_2021]

@Razard86 haha you can be masculine and still have deep and long conversations. I didn't say otherwise. 

I am saying - for you to stay as friends you don't need to constantly keep in touch and chit chat over trivial stuff. 

But when you meet, then it is the perfect setting to explore deep topics about life. 

That point is that you don't have to constantly message them during a fixed period of time to make sure that friendship don't die. 

Edited June 16, 2022 by Bobby_2021

[Ulax]

You are the one you've been waiting for, by Schwartz, is a useful book

[Razard86]

3 hours ago, Bobby_2021 said:

@Razard86 haha you can be masculine and still have deep and long conversations. I didn't say otherwise. 

I am saying - for you to stay as friends you don't need to constantly keep in touch and chit chat over trivial stuff. 

But when you meet, then it is the perfect setting to explore deep topics about life. 

That point is that you don't have to constantly message them during a fixed period of time to make sure that friendship don't die. 

I hear ya. 

[Elton]

I realised that the need to have friendships is just an issue with loneliness and people pleasing.

Maybe because of alot of time at home this week I was feeling like this.

When I'm working, and doing all my self actualization activities I don't have time for loneliness and people pleasing.

I feel not needing anyone while doing nothing not even self actualization activities will be a great thing to achieve.